Old men with young Vietnamese wives/girlfriends

Hmm.. in my country a man marries a wife of age difference 7 and above are quite weird. But in VN its quite a norm. My wife and I had age gap of 16 years. We had a child n everythings seems okay. As long as not older than the father.😂

...As long as not older than the father.😂
-@An Zhen

Uh oh... 😉

...As long as not older than the father.😂
-@An Zhen

Uh oh... 😉
-@OceanBeach92107

Really funny when you have to call a man 10 years younger than you "ba"

Really funny when you have to call a man 10 years younger than you "ba"
-@WillyBaldy

I believe that noise is usually reserved for the girlfriends of Australian and Welsh gentlemen.

My first marriage she had just turned 21 and I was three months shy of 39. A beautiful Filipino girl but 7 years and a 5 year old daughter later she was already messing around with other men and refused to go to counseling - so that was the end of that. I think it was the generational gaps more than the years.

My second wife here in VN is 47 and I am 63. We have been married for 7 years now and we're doing fine.   

FWIW, I've been noticing many more elderly foreigner men (about 70+) in social situations with young (20 to 30?) Vietnamese men.

Probably their tour guides...

...As long as not older than the father.😂
-@An Zhen

Uh oh... 😉
-@OceanBeach92107

Really funny when you have to call a man 10 years younger than you "ba"
-@WillyBaldy

At our wedding ceremony with family & friends, I was seated at the men's table next to my Father-in-law.

The other men (uncles, brothers & cousins of my wife) were taking turns toasting, and someone suggested it was my turn.

When I stood up and raised my Heineken in the air, most of them were watching to see what I'd do.

I turned to my F-I-L and said, "Cảm ơn ba!"

Everyone broke out laughing, but not AT me.

It was like I'd just made a joke about our humorous situation, and from that moment on, they have all been very welcoming to me whenever I see them, even a few who are really crusty old guys who wouldn't directly acknowledge me before that.

It seems there is some appreciation for self-effacing humor by a foreigner in miền Trung.

Alot of things are predictable in our life these days. Adjust as we go only...

@OceanBeach92107 OB, for the uninitiated, what does that mean? Your F-I-L and Viet saying?

FWIW, I've been noticing many more elderly foreigner men (about 70+) in social situations with young (20 to 30?) Vietnamese men.
Probably their tour guides...
-@OceanBeach92107

At least the relationship is unlikely to be complicated by children. 

@OceanBeach92107 OB, for the uninitiated, what does that mean? Your F-I-L and Viet saying?
-@jculpepper22

F-I-L (in context) Father in law

miền Trung is Central Vietnam

Thanks OB...

My first marriage she had just turned 21 and I was three months shy of 39. A beautiful Filipino girl but 7 years and a 5 year old daughter later she was already messing around with other men and refused to go to counseling - so that was the end of that. I think it was the generational gaps more than the years.
My second wife here in VN is 47 and I am 63. We have been married for 7 years now and we're doing fine. 
-@drutter

Personally I think that when you're 18 years older than a woman in her twenties and she wants to marry you, the reason is quite obvious. I'm not judging, I just think we shouldn't be kidding ourselves in this context. There are exceptions of course, and my grand dad lived until he was 87 and he was a heavy smoker...

@WillyBaldy

    Your point is well taken. I was older but not so wise at the time. Come to think of it, I still have a lot to learn.

My first marriage she had just turned 21 and I was three months shy of 39. A beautiful Filipino girl but 7 years and a 5 year old daughter later she was already messing around with other men and refused to go to counseling - so that was the end of that. I think it was the generational gaps more than the years.
My second wife here in VN is 47 and I am 63. We have been married for 7 years now and we're doing fine.
-@drutter
Personally I think that when you're 18 years older than a woman in her twenties and she wants to marry you, the reason is quite obvious. I'm not judging, I just think we shouldn't be kidding ourselves in this context. There are exceptions of course, and my grand dad lived until he was 87 and he was a heavy smoker...
-@WillyBaldy

if you are saying they don't love us romantically, first of all who really needs that, and secondly don't be too sure.

When a Vietnamese woman feels very secure and safe and cared for in her relationship with you, some (not all) can respond like my wife who becomes more romantic with every passing day.

We didn't marry for romance.

We married because months of traveling around the country together convinced each of us of the other's sincere desire to be as caring and supportive as possible.

Neither one of us has wavered on that for a single day (even during my covid absence) and now the woman who kept me at arm's length for weeks after we met wants to cuddle and pamper me every chance she gets.

Just my experience, but don't go out of your way to convince yourself it's not possible, or it probably won't be...

Well, I have been with my Vietnamese wife for 20 years she is now 38 and I am now 58, her entire family and friends accept me and love me, she loves me, so I don't care what anyone else thinks. We live for each other, the family and friends not for other people.

@WillyBaldy
  Your point is well taken. I was older but not so wise at the time. Come to think of it, I still have a lot to learn.
-@drutter

We definitely all do, and as a human race sometimes we don't always think with our brain

My first marriage she had just turned 21 and I was three months shy of 39. A beautiful Filipino girl but 7 years and a 5 year old daughter later she was already messing around with other men and refused to go to counseling - so that was the end of that. I think it was the generational gaps more than the years.
My second wife here in VN is 47 and I am 63. We have been married for 7 years now and we're doing fine.
-@drutter
Personally I think that when you're 18 years older than a woman in her twenties and she wants to marry you, the reason is quite obvious. I'm not judging, I just think we shouldn't be kidding ourselves in this context. There are exceptions of course, and my grand dad lived until he was 87 and he was a heavy smoker...
-@WillyBaldy

Oh no!!! & here was me thinking it was my striking good looks, charisma & intelligent conversation that she went for!!

@OceanBeach92107 OB, for the uninitiated, what does that mean? Your F-I-L and Viet saying?
-@jculpepper22

I thought you were asking about "Cảm ơn ba!".

If so, it just means "Thanks, pa (father)!"

FWIW, I've been noticing many more elderly foreigner men (about 70+) in social situations with young (20 to 30?) Vietnamese men.
Probably their tour guides...
-@OceanBeach92107
At least the relationship is unlikely to be complicated by children.

-@THIGV

Expect for the child or children that the single mom already has before marrying the geezer.

These "May-December" relationships (almost) always involve children.

In Viet Nam, a single mom has to marry a foreigner as no local man wants to raise another man's children.

FWIW, I've been noticing many more elderly foreigner men (about 70+) in social situations with young (20 to 30?) Vietnamese men.
Probably their tour guides...
-@OceanBeach92107
At least the relationship is unlikely to be complicated by children.

-@THIGV

Expect for the child or children that the single mom already has before marrying the geezer.


These "May-December" relationships (almost) always involve children.

In Viet Nam, a single mom has to marry a foreigner as no local man wants to raise another man's children.
-@jayrozzetti23

JR, I think my comment might have gone over your head, my good friend.... 😉

JR, I think my comment might have gone over your head, my good friend.... 😉
-@OceanBeach92107

Perhaps, my friend, but I was responding to THIGV's statement regarding children.

As you know well, most everything in VN revolves around (and is complicated by) children, even for tour guides.

Yeah I seem to be a big hit with single moms, there's a target mark on my forehead

Yeah I seem to be a big hit with single moms, there's a target mark on my forehead
-@WillyBaldy

Well, any foreign man who is still breathing is a target. Also, there are many many single moms in Vietnam since having a kid for their ancestors is their number one priority in life; so wherever you go, there they are.

If you manage to meet any single women without kids, they will also ask about kids on your first "date". If you're not interested in kids, they not interested in you.

Anywayz, it's all part of life's game. Gentlemen, start your engines...

JR, I think my comment might have gone over your head, my good friend.... 😉
-@OceanBeach92107


Perhaps, my friend, but I was responding to THIGV's statement regarding children.

As you know well, most everything in VN revolves around (and is complicated by) children, even for tour guides.
-@jayrozzetti23

Yeah, but we weren't joking about single moms or female tour guides... 😉😉😉

Yeah I seem to be a big hit with single moms, there's a target mark on my forehead
-@WillyBaldy

you just cant beat the single moms mate, get the right one & you have cracked it!! stay away from the tattoo hot girls, or them that post like 10 selfies a day on social media, or them that  post posing next to a Mercedes or what ever like they own it etc etc & just get a simple country girl (single mom best) that appreciates you.