Understanding Vietnamese girls

Wadey wrote:

Sorry guys but you have gone way off topic and turned this thread to utter dribble. What has the last page or so got to do with the original OP topic?

You have already fetched back the thread once in post #124 from an off-topic phase.
You are welcome to repeat this in the next post. 

There are also other posters here complaining about off-topic phases. Also these guys could post something about the original topic and not only complain about off-topic phases.

Wadey wrote:

Sorry guys but you have gone way off topic and turned this thread to utter dribble. What has the last page or so got to do with the original OP topic?

So?    probably means that the original topic was already beat to death.  (Ooops, I don't mean the girls, I mean the topic.    )

I'm afraid that this thread is anything but "Understanding Vietnamese girls" anymore 

The silent majority agree   

The best answers are on page one

Perhaps the moderators have other motives..?     

I'm likely repeating myself. But, except for some rather insignificant details, I've found girls and women where ever I've been, America, Vietnam, Japan Mexico and Ireland, are pretty much the same. This does not imply that girls and women are all the same. But, it is my observation that people are pretty much the same everywhere.

Language variation seems likely to be the cause of most of the apparent differences. The truth is that I am not exactly the same person when I am thinking in Vietnamese or in English etc.

My suggestion for learning what Vietnamese girls are thinking is to learn Vietnamese.

colinoscapee wrote:

I have to say that the professionalism in Viet Nam is lacking. I have had doctors in small provincial cities tell me to  because I questioned their techniques. Never in 45 years did I get that response in my home country.

Yes, westerners can tell you to F-off in far more subtle fashion.

Bazza139 wrote:

Perhaps the moderators have other motives..?     

Maybe they're tired of your silly comments about their grammar. 

Wxx3 wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

I have to say that the professionalism in Viet Nam is lacking. I have had doctors in small provincial cities tell me to  because I questioned their techniques. Never in 45 years did I get that response in my home country.

Yes, westerners can tell you to F-off in far more subtle fashion.

Especially in smaller towns researching the local Doctors is a must. We have always found ways to find out who the good Doctors are. Vietnam including small town Vietnam does have some excellent Doctors. This is one situation where gossiping in Vietnamese is exceptionally useful.

70 years old wrote:

... it is my observation that people are pretty much the same everywhere.

Language variation seems likely to be the cause of most of the apparent differences. The truth is that I am not exactly the same person when I am thinking in Vietnamese or in English etc.

My suggestion for learning what Vietnamese girls are thinking is to learn Vietnamese.

The best comment in 6 pages and over 200 posts.

Thank you, Mr. E. !

70 years old wrote:

Wxx3 wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

I have to say that the professionalism in Viet Nam is lacking. I have had doctors in small provincial cities tell me to  because I questioned their techniques. Never in 45 years did I get that response in my home country.

Yes, westerners can tell you to F-off in far more subtle fashion.

Especially in smaller towns researching the local Doctors is a must. We have always found ways to find out who the good Doctors are. Vietnam including small town Vietnam does have some excellent Doctors. This is one situation where gossiping in Vietnamese is exceptionally useful.

Russian trained VN doctors are the pits.

Wxx3 wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

I have to say that the professionalism in Viet Nam is lacking. I have had doctors in small provincial cities tell me to  because I questioned their techniques. Never in 45 years did I get that response in my home country.

Yes, westerners can tell you to F-off in far more subtle fashion.

Never had a doctor in my home country be as rude as these clowns.

70 years old wrote:

Wxx3 wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

I have to say that the professionalism in Viet Nam is lacking. I have had doctors in small provincial cities tell me to  because I questioned their techniques. Never in 45 years did I get that response in my home country.

Yes, westerners can tell you to F-off in far more subtle fashion.

Especially in smaller towns researching the local Doctors is a must. We have always found ways to find out who the good Doctors are. Vietnam including small town Vietnam does have some excellent Doctors. This is one situation where gossiping in Vietnamese is exceptionally useful.

I want to know the city, large or small, anywhere in the world, where one does not have check out doctors? or car mechanic, or everything else.

..welcome to Viet Nam...   

Good point Wxx3. But there are some who have contributed to this thread that think you can just blindly go forward. Of course, you can. But in some countries you put yourself at greater risk. I once  lived in a country such as here , where they put a mirror up to an unconscious persons nose to see if the mirror fogged. If it did they were alive. If not they were quickly buried. Heard more than one person crying from the grave that was near my house. One expectant mother gave birth in her coffin. Luckily we got her and the baby out. The care providers did not realize and embalisim can produce the same affect .

Diazo wrote:

I once  lived in a country such as here , ......

According to your bio page you have lived in Texas and Vietnam.  Did this happen in Texas or was it something you saw in a movie?   

Did not know our bio page was to list every country we have lived in. If so mine is not correct. But I have lived in 72 countries in case it matters.

THIGV wrote:

Diazo wrote:

I once  lived in a country such as here , ......

According to your bio page you have lived in Texas and Vietnam.  Did this happen in Texas or was it something you saw in a movie?   

According to discussions that I had in the 1950s in small town Texas with people that were born in the 1870s and 1880s, this did in fact sometimes happen. But, by the 1950s it was rare.

Very true. This is quite common still though in third world and developing countries where education is poor etc. Just part of the evolution process gor most. Those very same countries that do this type of thing generally will not give blood, even if it is to save their own childs life. And even more so with a dUghter in some countries. You just can not teach them that our bodies replaces its blood about every 90 days.
And my word look how many countries populations still think tgat colds cone from being exposed to the cold. I often wished they had referred to rinhovirusas “ hot”. Then we would only get it when hot.

Overall, I almost must lough ;
Almost no western grown up understands any Asian (and the other way around);
No man ever understands a woman (and the other way around);
But ..... .....
There is western male intelligence, who claim to understand a Asian woman.
Something is not logic in that

l3ully wrote:

Overall, I almost must lough ;
Almost no western grown up understands any Asian (and the other way around);
No man ever understands a woman (and the other way around);
But ..... .....
There is western male intelligence, who claim to understand a Asian woman.
Something is not logic in that

You both must be able to speak the language of both people. You both need to have spent decades in each other's country. You also need to listen to each other.

It also helps if the two of you have actually been through a war together and seen and smelled the dead and wounded.

in my language we say, "Je oller, je doller", which means means translated: the older, desto more convinced for the moment.
Yes, it's a nice (possible only) illusion. Exceptions do exist, same as lottery winners

70 years old wrote:

You both must be able to speak the language of both people. You both need to have spent decades in each other's country. You also need to listen to each other.

It also helps if the two of you have actually been through a war together and seen and smelled the dead and wounded.

I agree.  No way would my marriage be as good as it is if I did not spend alot of time in VN, getting to know her family, extended family, co-workers and her everyday life.  Likewise, she spending time in the USA confirms what I told her about the USA, but she never experienced it before. Same with language, we go back and forth between English and Vietnamese, but it gives you insight into how they think, which helps in understanding and responding. 

As i have said before, I could write a book about my experiences.  I look back at the beginning and it was not easy and lost VN GF's because I just did not understand how they think and to respond.  Even when I met my wife, I still had lots to learn, but I had learned from others that truly helped me develop a relationship with her.  Even then,  I still had to learn more from her and what makes her tick and makes her happy.  I am not saying that I am an expert because it is a lifelong learning experience, but when it comes to VN women, there are things one can do and not do to make them crazy, you just have to spend time in VN, learn some of the language and hopefully you learn fast to avoid being heart broken.

FYI - we have no plans to experience war, dead and wounded.  But who knows what the future holds.

Good attitude, Dreamer   

There is no safety or security in 'Certainty'...       

Remain in doubt.    You'll be Ok

Diazo wrote:

...
And my word look how many countries populations still think tgat colds cone from being exposed to the cold. I often wished they had referred to rinhovirusas “ hot”. Then we would only get it when hot.

And you were doing so well...

In the last 15 years, a number of studies have shown that colds in fact are induced by the body being chilled which then results in a weakening of the immune system, especially in our nose, allowing the rhino virus in.

so sometimes old cultures and customs exist for good reasons even if not obvious to modern man

You could get very cold every day and if not exposed to a rhinovirus you would never catch a "cold". People group indoors when the weather turns cold and they pass their viruses around, infecting each other. It would be very interesting to see how many colds the American trappers got in the solitude of the cold western winters. I'll bet not many.
I do agree the cold, dry air dehydrates the nasal mucosa and causes microfissures allowing the rhinovirus easy access to the bloodstream. But without the presence of the rhinovirus there can be no "cold".

Wxx3, site the studies that attribute a cold to cold temperatures. Only one thing and one thing only causesa cold. That is the rhinovirus. Perhaps you were thinking of frostbite or hypothermia, the only things caused by cold.

Diazo wrote:

Wxx3, site the studies that attribute a cold to cold temperatures. Only one thing and one thing only causesa cold. That is the rhinovirus. Perhaps you were thinking of frostbite or hypothermia, the only things caused by cold.

disappointed ONS too....

Thaiger wrote:

Diazo wrote:

Wxx3, site the studies that attribute a cold to cold temperatures. Only one thing and one thing only causesa cold. That is the rhinovirus. Perhaps you were thinking of frostbite or hypothermia, the only things caused by cold.

disappointed ONS too....

Anything that reduces one's natural immunity usually makes it easier to get sick, including being too hot or too cold, malnourished, lack of sleep, overwork, etc. So being cold can weaken the immune system sufficiently for someone to catch a cold from exposier the rhinovirus when that person wouldn't have gotten a cold with out being weakened from exposier to cold.

An early winter cold-snap's proclivity to weaken people's immune system is likely why the cold got named 'The Cold." In fact it is not unreasonable to attribute a cold-snap for at least part of the blame for frequently causing the illness named "The Cold." Perhaps that proclivity could even have something to do with why "The Cold" is named "The Cold"

Note, I ain't no doctor and I didn't play no Doctor on TV either. But, I have lived through 74 years of "Cold Seasons."

I caught a cold from a Vietnamese girl once.

Jim-Minh wrote:

I caught a cold from a Vietnamese girl once.

Did that get this thread back on topic?   

I hope you don't mind me reopening this thread but I think this is pertinent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy2ZOa5C1PQ

Jim-Minh wrote:

... I think this is pertinent.

At 9:03:  "Understand that a woman's nature does not change, but your nature can change." 

It didn't matter whether I agreed with what he said, he ruined his own essay with that faulty logic for recap.

*** It didn't matter whether I agreed with what he said, he ruined his own essay with that faulty logic for recap. ***

It is incumbent on the part of the man to understand he must not fill in the gaps in the reality that he perceives. The logic is not faulty.

I think this strikes at the heart of the differences between men and women. I have seen this all my life. The id would get along just fine if it wasn't encumbered by prehistoric instinct.

Hosh I hate to chime in. I almost always agree with ciambella and she as usual has/makes great points. I understand where she and the gentleman is coming from.
I think it frpends on the prism in which you curently thinking of the subject. The video presenter has a rather off putting way to say what is quite true and been written about in many ways for ions. Take Men are from Mars, Women are from Benus. Same basic principal. Men and women ate wired differently in many ways. Can you change them, I doubt it. Can you manage the differences. Inthink so. No man is going to wet his panties if he does not get a red rose on any specific day. No man is going to be terribly thrilled if he does mot get a nice set of screwdrivers for Christmas. A women tens to raise a child with her heart a man with his mind. That is not going to change I do not think. Yes, we can manage the differences to keep peace in  the family. But one is going to set to pee and the other stand up. Ain’ta going to change .

I had to stop the video half way through.  It was making me dizzy.  This fellow needs some lessons in cinematography.  Continuously moving in circles is not it.

Same thought here. I was wondering what s this suppose to do for  me. Hypnosis maybe. And how or who was filming. But hey, he got our attention

Diazo wrote:

And how or who was filming.

I think he had a go-pro mounted on a stolen grocery cart. 

*** I think he had a go-pro mounted on a stolen grocery cart. ***

LOL - You are a sick puppy.

Jim-Minh wrote:

*** I think he had a go-pro mounted on a stolen grocery cart. ***

LOL - You are a sick puppy.

Careful!   ..some (sic)nesses are corntagious...   ..but hoo nose..?     

               ..wush peeples woodwork ohm there spellink...       

     Still, we do have Ethos, Pathos & Logos.   Logic always(?) comes last...

                  ..for both gender...     
.

Warning:  This is a very long post!

@Jim-Minh and Diazo:

I understand his POV perfectly, and I think most of what he said was true.  Most, not all, but as nothing in life is absolute, most is pretty good. 

I do believe that many women are PITA in relationships.  They don't know how to act as member of an equal partnership, they don't know how to adjust their expectations, they don't know how to bargain for compromise, they don't know how to discuss logically, and they don't know to argue constructively.  The most important part, SAME AS MEN, they do not hear everything their partners said. 

I don't agree with the guy that women have pack mentality.  I would say that many women whose self confidence has yet to be firmly established and the need for approval is still prevalent, tend to listen to their friends and rely on their circle members for support.  That need is lessened with time though, thank goodness.

When women are happy and feel secure in their relationships, their family life actually becomes more important than friends and cohorts.  That's the reason almost all recently divorced women find themselves friendless and support-less:  they spent their marriage years replacing their own friends with couple friends (friendships acquired during marriage consist mostly of other couples), so when divorce happened, the couple friends choose side, the wives often ended up losing not just their spouses but also their support circle's

BTW, everything I'm saying here is about women in general.  I'm not talking about Vietnamese women because the family tie here is much tighter than in the West, and women can always return to the bosom of their loved ones.

The faulty logic I mentioned in the last post is the word nature.  Nature is the essence of a person, the inherent characteristic that makes a person behave a certain way, live a certain way, deal with life a certain way.  A person's nature is a combination of his physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual characteristics.  To change his nature, a man needs to have strong discipline and be steadfast over a lengthy period of time. 

He needs to be self conscious and selective about every aspect of his life and of himself --  his actions and reactions, his thoughts and words, his values, his priorities, his acceptance of people and things he cannot change, his understanding of risks, his willing to shoulder responsibilities and bear the blame, his flexibility in altered circumstances, etc. 

Changing one's own nature isn't the same as repeating the mantra "I know I can I know I can", or counting to 10 before reacting, or taking a walk to cool off during an argument.  Changing one's own nature is similar to learning and practicing Buddhism, or recovering from alcoholism, it's a lifelong journey, not the result of a pep talk.

The changing of nature isn't reserved to a particular gender, the way CRP said.  If men can change his nature, what made CRP think women cannot do the same?  Because women cannot change, full stop?  That's the faulty logic I mentioned.  There's no evidence to support his out-of-whole-cloth claim.  The 23rd chromosome doesn't determine the ability to change.  The difference of physical strength and mental endurance between genders do not determine the inability to change.  So, why "a woman's nature does not change, but your nature can change"? 

In short, I was OK with the guy's speech and it didn't even bother me the way he badmouthed and belittled women.  I understand generalisation is something most people do, especially when fairness isn't the goal and shock value brings viewers.  I would've taken him seriously if he didn't end the speech with that inane recap.  Introduction, body, and conclusion are 3 equally important parts of an essay, but conclusion stays with the readers/audience when they finish reading/listening.  His conclusion, as I said in the last post, casted doubt on the validity of his entire argument.

Diazo wrote:

Men and women ate wired differently in many ways. Can you change them, I doubt it. ... Yes, we can manage the differences to keep peace in  the family. But one is going to set to pee and the other stand up. Ain’ta going to change .

Graphic descriptions that do the job perfectly.