Do and don't in Hungary

I don't know if there are many do and don'ts in Hungary.

A few things I've noticed:

* Don't be surprised, if a man doesn't shake your hand. Customs seems to be still that women don't want that (or it's done out of respect, I couldn't figure it out yet).

* Kissing cheeks. They love that here.Custom for men and women to kiss both cheeks.

* better don't say "No" when someone offers you something for free (like fruits, vegetables and such), it seems to offend people when you do so.
But usually not for long


I will try to think of more

As a Hungarian I would say that a man who does not shake hand with you is a simple BUM .
  Be careful with kissing cheeks for men !
I have three Hungarian brothers but none of them likes being kissed by others than close relatives .( and male to male kisses -noooo )


   To me the most difficult and distasteful custom  is the health service . Where doctors expect you to tip them in advance .And nobody knows how much it is . You might give a sum to them and they might still be unpleasant to you because they guess that you can afford more !

And they feel as they were half-gods -as in the last fifty years almost no doctors were brought to justice for their malpractice .

Juts recently it was brought to light that women in labor were asked to pay around 20 .000 HUF to the pocket of their doctors if they wanted some relief ...and it has been  the practice for long - and not the only place ...

The "tip" for a birth seems to vary from Hospital to Hospital; 2 1/2 years ago we had to pay 30,000 huf to the delivery doctor, although there are doctors which charge upwards of 100,000!

@Alma - is it possible that the kissing cheeks thing varies from region to region?

Down here they seem to love it. Really. Men usually shake hands, but I've seen them do it too.

Regarding the tip. WOW, that's the first time I hear that.

Well, one local doc we know usually doesn't charge us at all and he doesn't want a tip either.
Our dentist is the same. We only paid for a real "operation" in December and I gave him a bottle of German Schnaps when all was finished. We had a real good treatment.

Same with my GYN. And he works in the hospital as well as having his own doctors office.

Glad I don't want to have any kids

Shucks, good to know though, just in case we end up being in hospital one of these days,....

Hi
I have read that "tips" are not usually expected from foreigners.  Our GP speaks good English and my hubbie (the only one who has visited him- so far) asked him about a tip- indirectly of course.  He was left under the firm impression that this was not required and it was a terrible thing. I do not know if he gives that impression to his Hungarian patients.
It is a bit of a minefield- we get cover from my hubbie's employer under BUPA but this does not include tips strangely enough. 
It is all another way of avoiding tax- a national preoccupation in Hungary as far as I can see.

I have never had to pay a "tip" myself (I'm English), but my wife (who is Hungarian) and all of her family pay on each and every visit (including her 90 year old grandmother).

Apparently not to pay is a sure and certian way of getting the very worst service possible..

Nicole !
About  male to male face kissing . It is not as widespread as in Italy .But there are families and groups of people who do practice that . especially youngsters who love coppola and wants to show that they are united like a maffia .

My grandma's village is an ancient Hungarian village  with protestant peasants . No way ! I could never imagine that they would practice that !
I am surprised to hear that in the village where you live it is practiced .

It is all another way of avoiding tax- a national preoccupation in Hungary as far as I can see.

No wonder since out of 100 forint 70 goes to taxes !Horrible ! You are forced to cheat if you do not want to starve to death !

If one is operated should give to the doctor  min 50 thousand HUF .At some hospital 150 thousand HUF is expected from the patient .
Usually the patients go before to the private clinics of the doctor . The fee she pays there is the base of the operation tip . usually ten times  more !
Especially the obst. and surgeons are famous for greediness ! Some doctors never get any tip !
The GP -s are well paid by the gov .If they have a lots of patient they get a nice sum -so they do not expect any extra tip either .

alma wad wrote:

To me the most difficult and distasteful custom  is the health service . Where doctors expect you to tip them in advance .And nobody knows how much it is . You might give a sum to them and they might still be unpleasant to you because they guess that you can afford more !

It's not just the health service it's the older generation's mentality that they have to give backhanders to get good service like in communíst times ;-(

Then you also have the mentality of not declaring all you earn to the government if you are self-employed - no wonder the taxes are so high!

Communist times ? If you wish to stay alive  - it is better to give something .Doctors get very small salaries . From this capitalist leaders !!!

All the system is nasty . Doctors who do not wish to accept tip -are forced to do so -as the elder doctors make them pay for they can have patients on their own .So when a younger doctor starts to treat a patient  he already had to pay  an amount ...
It is just a disgusting group of people who control the health service  in the background .

Supposed that you have to pay 70 % of your salary as taxes I wonder in which part of the world people would remain  honest tax payers ! And the taxes are taken from people who should be rather supported !

alma wad wrote:

Supposed that you have to pay 70 % of your salary as taxes I wonder in which part of the world people would remain  honest tax payers ! And the taxes are taken from people who should be rather supported !

The taxes are taken because it is "accepted" that people cheat and don't declare their true income.

http://fistfulofeuros.net/afoe/currenci … te-dreams/

Hungary faces rude awakening from welfare state dreams
by Desmond McGrath

The release of a recent poll showing that most Hungarians preferred life under communism caused a mild shock in the foreign community, but provoked little more than a characteristic shrug from Hungarians. After all, under János Kádár Hungary was one of the least repressive regimes in the Soviet bloc, the “Goulash Communism” of the 1980s allowed a certain amount of private business, inflation was unheard of, while the state was able to borrow on Western markets to fund a generous health and welfare system. As the number of Hungarians feeling nostalgic for those simpler times has risen from 53% in the last such survey in 2001 to 61% today, it’s clear that Hungarians are having trouble adjusting to modern-day reality.

Economically, the country has been living in a dreamland since Fidesz got elected in 1998 by running against economic reform. Until recently, no politician dared touch the idea again ...

It's not only Hungary where the taxes are incredibly high.
Germany has a similar problem.
But at least there you get more to begin with.

And we don't have to tip our Dr.

I don't know why anybody should be surprised that people wish communism back, or at least the living they had then.
It's similar in Eastern Germany. Many people are worse off than they have been before.

And that many have a problem adjusting to reality is nothing new to me at least.
How many times have I had "arguments" with people . trying to explain that not everyone in the West has a new house, two cars and a shitload of expensive gadgets.
Not everyone over there is filthy rich.


Waking up to reality. I guess that's true.
But as long as the government doesn't wake up, people won't.

As a sidenote:

I think the system is falling apart in most countries.
And sadly it's the people that already have only barely enough to live that will pay the price for that first.

If gypsies are attacking you verbally or physically - try to run away  - do not stop  to fight with them  .

alma wad wrote:

If gypsies are attacking you verbally or physically - try to run away  - do not stop  to fight with them  .

I would say that this comment is quite racist.

Basically if ANYONE attacks you verbally or physically make a quick exit, use your common sense like you would if anyone attacks you in your country!

Please read below:
Taken from http://www.logoi.com/budapest/life_in_b … ngary.html

Gypsy Stereotypes in Hungary
What stereotypes do Hungarians have about the Gypsies?

Stereotypes influence the way people think about foreigners. Today, in our world of political correctness, we are fighting against stereotypes and prejudices, even though we still retain many of those whether we like it or not. They might contain some truth but are dangerous when we try to deal with individuals.

Let us take the gypsies in Hungary, for example. They can be found in all of the surrounding countries, and I believe the locals in those countries have similar stereotypes about them. Generally speaking, according to Hungarians, gypsies run their lives loudly on the streets. It is a common conception that most of them do not have jobs, but have lots of kids, and that they can all play the violin and dance.

The first thing comes to most minds when mentioning gypsies is probably a tent camp with a huge bonfire in the middle, people dancing around it, and a fortune teller on the side. Unfortunately, the second thought in most Hungarians' mind is a gang of brown people with bad teeth and dirty hair, who are trying to rob someone.

If you were to confront a Hungarian regarding these stereotypes, they would passionately deny that they think of gypsies this way, even though they would readily admit that the stereotypes are alive in the general society. If one wants to better the lives of gypsies and other minorities in Hungary, it would certainly be an important step to create a new public image of them.

Please also read:
http://www.logoi.com/budapest/life_in_b … media.html
AND
http://www.logoi.com/budapest/life_in_b … psies.html

You will be politically correct until the first attack !

  It might sound racist - but it is  based on sad experiences .


  And  if you happen to be someone of color - you will suffer  by the skinheads and gypsies as well .

As far as gypsies go, most people in Sirok have their own opinion of them and are quite happy to let you know it.

On another note, do not drink and drive here. The Hungarians have a zero tolerance when it comes to this. Having said that, most people I know in the local bars think nothing of drinking to excess and then driving unless they are aware that there is a police presence.
Also, if you have to visit a hospital take your own towels, toilet roll and cutlery as they don't provide them ( in Eger anyway).

Hi, it is very true that the taxation in hungary is quite high, especially compared with its local ex-communist neighbours (with exception of poland which is also still having progressive taxation), with already reasonable income you might end up paying ca 50 % of tax (70 % i haven't heard of in terms income tax). This especially applies to people working for international companies, state, municipalities etc who don't do any tax evasion (like most of local companies do). In reality of course most people pay significantly less tax (and that is one of the major problems of taxation system here, tax evasion is very high level), you can see upto 60 % of people asking for AFA szamla in almost any shop (to deduct that from taxes). When doing renovations, i think for 30-40% of the costs you actually pay vat rest is paid in cash. Even to my lawyer i always pay cash... and his is tax consultant!

In terms of medical care, surprisingly enough you are not usually expected to tip as a foreigner, but all my local friends do it. Otherwise i cannot complain about the quality of the care itself (the hospital surrounds yes), the medical standards in hungary are as good as in any western country. Indeed, hungary is nowadays a major destination for medical tourism, so you don't have to worry in this sense. In budapest there are several clinics where you can have fully english service and usually you can have "all included" fee, ca 1000 euro/year. To me that is very good value.

In terms of labeling some comments racists, i would rather stay safe than politically correct.

This specific problem is not unique to Hungary but exist also in Scandinavia, Portugal, Spain, Slovakia, Czech, Poland, Romania and after having been living in seven of these countries, i believe i have enough experience to not to try to make the world better place but practise common sense in terms of personal safety.

Beside that Hungary must be one of the safest places in europe in terms of personal security (at least compared to UK, US etc).

tomasc wrote:

In terms of medical care, surprisingly enough you are not usually expected to tip as a foreigner, but all my local friends do it. Otherwise i cannot complain about the quality of the care itself (the hospital surrounds yes), the medical standards in hungary are as good as in any western country. Indeed, hungary is nowadays a major destination for medical tourism, so you don't have to worry in this sense. In budapest there are several clinics where you can have fully english service and usually you can have "all included" fee, ca 1000 euro/year. To me that is very good value.

Did you read the papers last week and see it on the news regarding tipping the medical profession? I hope it is not the younger generation doing this and that with them this practice will die out, mind you that's if there are any young people left in the country!

DO keep to the speed limits - foreigners with foreign registered cars are favourite targets! And the fines are horrendous! If a car comes up too close behind you because you are keeping to the limit let it overtake - it may be a police car trying to get you to go faster and then stop you!

Steve

I was born here, I never give a tip for a doctor or nurses. I give the doctor present, one buttle good wine  and sweets for a nurses

I really do put off going to the doctors even for check ups because I resent the tipping practice.
My husband who is Hungarian tips but we have honestly over the years experienced bad care for not tipping.
His mother and father always tipped , once his step-dad didn't tip his dentist, this was in the 1980's, the dentist pulled out the wrong tooth on his next visit .
We are from the US and my husband can tell they "think" we are rich and will tip. Many times going to the derma doc here the two women had insane smiles on their faces when we entered the office, we didn't tip and their faces dropped when we walked out of the office. I told my husband to go back and give them a ten er because I had to go back there.
Smiles all around.
Posted in the past about my recent experience with the surgery in our local clinic, literally was given the run around with 6 different doctors over a issue with a bone spur in my shoulder. Finally they sent me to the orthopedic clinic inside the emergency hospital, 3 visits there and so far I am good, shots  ultrasound, x-rays real treatment, I made sure to tip here big because the reason I was given such poor care at the other clinic was a few years back I didn't tip a doc and we know I was blacklisted. They were all ready to treat me until they looked at the computer screen, their mood changed and I was told out of the blue that they were too busy that month or they were going on holiday etc.I wasted 2 months of time with my shoulder seeing these quacks.
We do not tip every time we go though, depends on what they do for us.
Yesterday I didn't tip for a second mammogram and ultrasound. The staff was really nice too, they even booked me again early in 6 months because they seemed to care about my case and family history of breast cancer. They sent me a appointment date I never contacted them, this is with the national health, they sometimes go out of their way to give treatment.
Like any field there are good doctors and bad doctors.
16 years ago we took our son to a dentist in HU for a check up. The doctor said his teeth were in perfect order and there was nothing to do. We tried to tip him for the exam and he wouldn't even take a penny. My son was not on the national health either. So you never know who expects money and  who doesn't. Our district dentist is horrible he tried to double charge my husband for crowns, didn't give him a senior discount on the costs etc. We do not go to him any more, pay for private dentists instead.
We do not want to play with our health so we tip to be on the safe side. When one is young usually their health is not a issue.
They would rather spend their money on clothing, drinking or whatever, after age 60 it is best to keep the body in good order even if it costs.
I know the one shot I had in my shoulder would of cost well over $1,000 to get in the US so tipping and paying for the shot  was worth the $140.
Good to keep the doctor happy in case I need surgery later on.

I hate to me misunderstood, I sort of understand how and why some in the medical industry would  expect tips from "foreigners".
I can not really prove anything but it is something to consider.
Just like in the US when a person is issued a Social Security card the numbers show when it was issued and in what state.
Not sure they still have that info but it used to be that way, the beginning numbers were from different states .
same here in Hungary when one is issued a national health card, the numbers probably show the year and or and breaks in coverage.
This way even for Hungarians returning to Hu after years the medical staff knows one has been "away" out of the system so to speak.
They expect tips from people who have been away and more so from ex-pats coming and using their system.
Of course not everyone is that why. I have offered tips in the past and some doc's refuse them but in the long run on the second or third visit to the same doc they will except a tip.
We notice many elderly waiting in the clinics who we know can not pay tips so we sort of get the feeling when seeing the doc that we should be tipping since we are "foreign" they always ask where we are from etc. Sort of doesn't take a dummy to get the hint.
I am very much pro Hungary and know the citizens have already paid  by the long years of work etc. and I am very happy overall to even have been excepted into the health system here.
Just saying it is ok not to tip but how can one know which doc is going to want to be paid off when your bleeding out? Best to cover your bases.

This whole tipping thing is odd to me! he hee. We pay for private healthcare and honestly have not even used that yet either so i can not speak of the Hungary health system. I think this whole tipping thing is rather unprofessional and honestly as a expat it would so confusing. Who to tip, how much, how do you go about it etc?

I have been sick a few times since being here and just found a clinic went in and paid. Did not bother with any type insurance or anything. The one dr palika and said it was a cure all but since i had no Hungarian blood in me it could not help me. Different dr i went too at different clinic was sleazy. I should of known better as he was rather too friendly but i took that as a good thing. I wear glasses and i need new eye exam and i read that you have to really ask them to check for everything to make sure they do it proper. So i was in the office asking ?s and telling him i want the script written so i can get the glasses later and also i want exam for contacts also which are normally different also. The dr was really nice spoke good english so i was relaxed. I mentioned how the dr i saw when i was belly sick said that crap about palika and hungarian blood etc. He laughed and told me that i am a nice looking woman and being a black woman from usa is exotic. Ok i as said i like to be professional with these things so i am talking about my eyesight things etc i have no idea if Hungary or EU uses same type of systems. Ok he then says "there are other ways to pay" ok dumb me i hear about this tipping thing so much i think oh ok he wants a tip. I was just walking in so i figured that is how it goes so i as i said do not even know how people barter this sort of thing. So i ask him what does he want and how much? Ok i will not go into the vulgar exchanges but long story short he wanted a tip in the more physical than fornet since. I was beyond insulted and disgusted. I went with my Hungarian friend and he totally blew up at the eye dr. The dr turned to me and said in english "i thought you were poor black american woman, like i see on movies and tv, i was just trying to help you out! I do things for you, you do things for me, no big deal" Ugh last time i go to a dr in 14 distract!

I do not feel this pervert is typical of Hungarian drs, but it was really bad, or maybe what was worse that when my friend and i told this to some hungarian women they were jealous that i had this "opportunity"

FeliciaOni wrote:

.....The dr turned to me and said in english "i thought you were poor black american woman, like i see on movies and tv, i was just trying to help you out! I do things for you, you do things for me, no big deal" Ugh last time i go to a dr in 14 distract!

I do not feel this pervert is typical of Hungarian drs, but it was really bad, or maybe what was worse that when my friend and i told this to some hungarian women they were jealous that i had this "opportunity"

That's truly shocking.  I am sorry to hear that you were treated this way.  That's not behaviour that is acceptable at all.    What a total throwback that Dr is! Should be struck off the medical register for lack of ethics and professionalism.

Just to add a small thing to that though, it's not just you being "a poor black woman", it's any woman in HU society.   Total chauvinists and it's still around.  Oh and yes, Palinka is supposed to do wonders for you.

Mrs Fluffy has often told me stories of how that kind of gender based abuse was used under the communist system.  If you wanted to get on, you had to be "nice to important people".   She was even told to join the communist party if she wanted to go further and to be the boss's "secretary".   Seems amazing, even criminal, but that was how it was then. Not an excuse for it, just saying it happened.

fluffy2560

Thanks for the kind words and yes i would feel better if it was just towards "poor black women from the usa" as there is not too many of them living in Hungary and it would be rare! he hee. But yes clearly this type of bad behavior is towards all women.

And i do not mean to imply in any way this rare in usa, healthcare, dental eye exams are so expensive there that i really was the poor black woman as these things i could not do to often! he hee.

Yes my Hungarian friend felt just awful that i come here to his homeland and have one of the educated people of his country act like this. Especially since i went over to 14 where he lives as i live in 2 and he was especially upset cause the dr implied to him that he was a pimp or something  cause i would not normally hang out with a hmm the Hun word he used sounded like czooya or something which he felt insulted and said we are friends which we are.

So anyway as far as things to NOT do, make sure you make it clear you are going to pay for something in cash!

I admit i did not state it would be cash, as i told the dr that i would have to see how much it was as to how i would pay. What i meant was that if it not too much i would just pay in cash or since he accepted cards i was going to charge it on credit card or maybe vise versa or look at the cost and charge it and give him the "standard party line" of a tip which clearly is the culture here, i was not sure. I was going to see the bill and see how much and decide then.  I guess that implied i was lacking in funds or something which i did not mean it as that at all.   

But Hungary is a very modern place i would just say in many regards, healthcare, dental, home repairs, buying stuff, doing insurance, banking etc most business things the professionalism is lacking. Like our old bank the guy was asking us for Jello, i mean what the hell is that? Then the first 3 insurance agents we dealt with were beyond bad, we have a good guy now but he keeps asking to come to flat to sign things and even asked my dad if he has some booze from usa(in his mind since like Jack D or Jose C. are made in USA or in the Americas we got it for like 2 euros or something so we have a stash at home! Or like we have friends send us booze every month or something! My dad asked him who told him this? He said one of his usa clients that was living in Dubai and moved to Budapest this year.)

We do business in business offices which Hungarians find a bit odd but with some pressure on our part have always complied.

FeliciaOni wrote:

.... most business things the professionalism is lacking. Like our old bank the guy was asking us for Jello, i mean what the hell is that? ....

It's not just in professional business, it's also shops and workmen.  I think there's a fear here of foreigners and anything different.  I've had this conversation with Mrs Fluffy too.  We thought it was declining.   Anyway, the government stirs up xenophobia and makes it worse.  They even engage in weird stuff like official LGBT bashing.  Anything different and it's meltdown.

I work with many people of all types of nationalities, colours, languages and religions - I don't even notice these days but I do everything in English as that's the common language. 

But if one knows the HU language or has someone on hand, then usually it seems to go much better and without hassle.  I found it was much easier to connect with people even if there was a base level of knowledge.  It's not for integration, just for communication.

I thought Jello was a kind of jam in the USA? Maybe he thought he was making conversation?

FeliciaOni wrote:

since he accepted cards i was going to charge it on credit card

The medical "tip" is an off the accounting books issue. You do not add it to your credit card. You pay cash or with a gift like wine or Palinka. You do not negotiate or discuss it. Just hand over what you think is appropriate. It is either accepted or it is not (some doctors do not play this game). You also do not have to tip, but then you risk poor service. Maddening as you never know what is correct when or with whom.

If you have private insurance and go to a clinic in your insurer's group, or pay out of your pocket directly, you do not have to tip. Don't even bring it up.

I thought Jello was a kind of jam in the USA? Maybe he thought he was making conversation?

No he knew what Jello was, he said he had some family in usa and would go and visit them and eat it all the time there. He says you can not get that or easily so here in Budapest so he was asking us for some. We do not eat that anywhere and i have no idea if you can buy it here so who knows. We told him we do not eat jello at all, he then said he thought we were just keeping it for ourselves and not wanting to share with him! He was a really funny upbeat person so he took it a positive way. OTP promoted him to corporate accounts which is odd, but he spoke 5 langues fluently so i think that is why. And he was a very nice person just odd.

FeliciaOni wrote:

....he then said he thought we were just keeping it for ourselves and not wanting to share with him! He was a really funny upbeat person so he took it a positive way. OTP promoted him to corporate accounts which is odd, but he spoke 5 languages fluently so i think that is why. And he was a very nice person just odd.

Oh he was joking with you and being friendly but obviously wanted to display his worldly knowledge.  I'd say that was pretty good customer service.  Sounds like you appreciated it as well.  Good on him....but are you sure he wasn't actually flirting with you?!

No no it was no flirt! You do not understand, he really did want Jello and think we had some! He was not joking believe me he wanted the stuff, told stories about how he had it and missed it etc. My dad asked him where do you buy Kool Aid in Budapest the guy then started in on how he missed Kool Aid and asked him if he had any.

Do not joke with silly things with people in Budapest as they take that serious!

FeliciaOni wrote:

No no it was no flirt! You do not understand, he really did want Jello and think we had some! He was not joking believe me he wanted the stuff, told stories about how he had it and missed it etc. My dad asked him where do you buy Kool Aid in Budapest the guy then started in on how he missed Kool Aid and asked him if he had any.

Do not joke with silly things with people in Budapest as they take that serious!

Ah well, that's a language issue.  Many Hungarians tell me how clever the Hungarian language is for word games and tricks.  Of course, that's not really true, all languages are clever in some way if you know them.  There are some odd people around but most people are perfectly normal. But it sounds more like small talk - I wasn't there of course so only guessing.   

There are plenty of jokey things going on in Hungary.  One thing which is always good value in Hungary and quite accessible are movies.  Some Hungarian movies are really pretty good even with subtitles.  They tend to have dark themes - like black comedy.

Try this one to start (if you can find it): Kontroll

fluffy2560 wrote:

all languages are clever in some way if you know them.

Example: Round the Horn and Beyond our Ken. Really a lot of funny word play in those BBC radio series.

klsallee wrote:

fluffy2560 wrote:

all languages are clever in some way if you know them.

Example: Round the Horn and Beyond our Ken. Really a lot of funny word play in those BBC radio series.

Ooo....yes, but have you tried Not The Nine O Clock news?

I'm transferring this to Absolutely  Anything Else thread...

See here

British Comedy...