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Am 21 year old girl married but in the process of divorce

Last activity 11 January 2018 by Namatovu2121

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Namatovu2121

Am 21 married in the process of divorce after leaving with a man who kicks me out all in and in winter ,I have been with him 8 months,am now pregnant with another Germany man's child and asked for divorce, my card reads one year so In April it ends ,I took a short term divorce since if I delay the baby maybe named after my husband and not it's father am 5months pregnant in April,will they deport me after divorce in April even if my child has a Germany father

beppi

You seem to be in a real mess. I will try to explain the legal side, which might be a first help for you:
1. You normally need to live apart for one year before you can divorce. Also, you need a lawyer and pay the associated (high) fees. So divorce won't be a quick or cheap solution.
2. If the biological father accepts the child as his by declaration (he should contact the Jugendamt or Familiengericht for this) or genetic tests prove his fatherhood, it will legally be his child, not your husband's. Regarding the surname, you can choose to give the child yours or the father's name.
3. The child of a German citizen is automatically German. You, as the mother and caregiver of a German child, are entitled to a residence permit to live with the child in Germany.
So the visa issue boils down to the period between April (when your current visa expires) and the birth. I suggest you contact your local Auslaenderbehoerde to ask what can be done to cover this. Most probably you need to extend your visa based on the (then not yet divorced) marriage.
And please learn from this to not be stupid again and jump into a marriage or into bed with men you don't yet know well enough to be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with!

TominStuttgart

Hmmm, why would a man kick you out after 8 months of marriage when he finds out you are 5 months pregnant with another man's child? Not to be moralistic but what did you expect? Anyway, Beppi has covered the main legal aspects of the situation.

Namatovu2121

Am a Ugandan and was forced to marry at 19yrs old,my husband is a man not able to have sex or children either.i was not so stupid to marry a man but I had no choice.after 8 months he had depression problems and always got so mad over small things and kicked me out during cold moments.i have a Germany card to stay here not a visa.i was kicked out for 5 times till I met the father of my baby and helped me in most things.i was leaving deep in the village.my husband never cared to educate me as well.he did not allow me to have friends or watch tv either .he wanted me there so at 19yrs married I had no choice

Namatovu2121

If I had a normal man in sex and all and he had no depression problems I could never do such to go and cheat.in this now I have so many village friends who offered a warm place to sleep tried a little English and also trying to teach me Germany.am grateful for the advice but please don't judge me in the country I come from people are crazy I think and most people who look for women there from Europe are not the best of men

Namatovu2121

Right now my husband and I are beginning a short divorce and since there is a child involved the court accepts to take it a short divorce so my husband says in 3-5 months it will be finished but my card for staying here ends in April won't my divorce affect my stay ?I will be 5 months pregnant then.yes my boyfriend accepts and loves the baby and he also takes care of us now and teaching me the language a bit too

beppi

At 19, you were an adult and nobody could have forced you to marry.
As I said, you must contact the Ausländeramt to ask how the time between expiry of your current visa and birth of the child can be bridged. If it cannot, you must leave Germany. Do not overstay!!!
Also, ask the father of the child to contact the nearest Jugendamt or Familiengericht to declare his fatherhood.
For further help, please visit a pregnancy support charity like ProFamilia.

Namatovu2121

Do not overstate. Thanks but I guess this site is too rude I better go out before I get crazy more.thanks madam I will leave as soon as possible I won't over stay

beppi

If you react like this to well-meant (and true) advice, I cannot help you any further!

Namatovu2121

No am not mad but I also wounded why your so rude too.

Namatovu2121

I accept am in a mistake and need help but the story is long that I try to cut it short am grateful for your help .Am stressed about it all because it involves my baby but rude answers are a more cut to my heart .sorry but I feel rudeness in your answers

Namatovu2121

One more question please I intend or getting a lawyer to defend my rights to stay here .is it a bad step ?

beppi

I am not rude, I am just stating the facts.
You need a lawyer anyway for your divorce. If he‘s also experienced in immigration matters, you can of course ask him for advice.
Engaging a separate immigration lawyer will cost you: A first consultation alone is nearly €200 (prices of lawyer services are fixed by regulation and all cost the same). Asking the Ausländeramt is free.

Namatovu2121

Thanks very much for your advise I will do this and go and ask

TominStuttgart

In Germany they have special shelters for women who are mistreated. You might also get help and special consideration for your situation if you were actually forced into marriage. Maybe it is a problem of communication but a lot of this story sounds strange. One cannot be forced into marriage in Germany.  If you married in Uganda then how and why are you here? Is your husband also from Uganda but living in Germany? He could get in trouble if you report that the marriage was forced. In this case I think they might actually be able to shorten the time which is usually a minimum of 1 year living apart before a divorce can be settled. But if forced, they could rule the marriage invalid and void rather than a divorce. Anyway, a few hundred Euros spent on a lawyer would probably be well spent since it could drastically influence your future. Possibly the father of the baby would be willing to help unless he wants to have you sent back to Uganda. And it is not rude to point out that one takes consequences for their actions. If one is in a bad marriage, then best to get out. Just getting pregnant from someone else is not really a good idea as you are finding out. This is not a moralistic judgement but one of practicality.

Namatovu2121

No it was a Germany man who helped my parents a lot since I live in a poor country.then he one day asked in exchange for my hand in marriage.and my parents could not refuse so could I. In our country we obey elders.and so my mom said please do it he has helped a lot so I had too.we got married but didn't have sex or so and later came here and found out he was impotent. And had depression problems too.always cry and most times become so nervous and so mad

Namatovu2121

He was a good man sometimes but when his depression came he always turned in to completely another.

beppi

An online forum like this is probably not the right place to describe, understand and advise on a complicated situation like yours.
Therefore I think you should contact a support organisation in your area, like ProFamilia, a church (they help even if you are not Christian) or similar.

beppi

This is the address and contact details of ProFamilia in Idar Oberstein (where you live according to your profile):
Pappelstr. 1
55743 Idar-Oberstein
Telefon: 06781 900480
Fax: 06781 900482
Email: idar-oberstein@profamilia.de

beppi

There are also support groups run by the (church-owned) Diakonisches Werk:
http://www.diakonisches-werk.obere-nahe … php?id=219http://www.diakonisches-werk.obere-nahe … php?id=220

And the (also church-owned) Caritas has something, too:

Allgemeine Sozialberatung
Caritasverband Rhein-Hunsrück-Nahe e.V.
Friedrichstraße 1
55743 Idar-Oberstein
Uwe Oberländer
Telefon: 06781 50990 14
Fax: 06781 50990 29
E-Mail: U.Oberlaender@caritas-rhn.de

Schwangerschaftsberatung Caritasverband
Rhein-Hunsrück-Nahe e.V.
Christina Molz
Telefon: 06781 50990 25
Fax: 06781 50990 29
E-Mail: C.Molz@caritas-rhn.de

Namatovu2121

Thanks for that help I will contact them too.yes it's a very long complicated matter. But am thankful for your help .May you be blessed too for this

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