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Intercultural relationships in Nepal

Last activity 09 March 2018 by TheoauNepal

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Priscilla

Hello,

We invite you to share some fun anecdotes and information regarding intercultural marriages and relationships in Nepal. This will provide some insight to current and future expats regarding relationship norms in mixed relationships and marriages in Nepal.

What are some of the best things about being in an intercultural relationship/marriage?

What are some challenges that you have faced or are currently facing? How do you address them?

Are intercultural relationships/marriages common and accepted in Nepal?

What are the benefits to being in an intercultural relationship/marriage?

Do you have any fun or interesting anecdotes to share regarding dating norms and rules for intercultural relationships/marriages?

Thank you for sharing your experience,

Priscilla

PkJ33

The best thing about intercultural relationships/marriage is that each gets to explore a whole new dimension of this world in terms of culture as the name suggests, lifestyle and almost everything which is quite thrilling.
Although, there are some people rather than a society, that are narrow minded when it comes to the term "inter" - no offence, I think that more people nowadays are willing to accept it and see a bigger picture. Once again there are one to other type of people in a society, so depends on individual perception of it. However, more people are gradually accepting towards it and the world as a whole is becoming a beautiful place.

Moniica26

Getting back to Priscilla's thread. Perhaps I am too old fashioned and traditional but I take the view that relationships are one thing but that (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime marriage is too serious a thing, not to be taken lightly....whether one is in Nepal or Gambia or Tanzania or Uzbekistan. The first one has an "s" but that second word should be with no "s" at the end of it....or at least we can hope so.
Point number two, it's a fact muslims will traditionally marry muslims - not all of course, but in the majority. Same for catholics, traditionally they will marry another catholic who is like them, same folkways, mores and traditions. Same for jews, jains, zulus, maghrebians, etc etc.,you name it!
Within Nepal, same general phenomenon will generally be observed to this day, even if some will point out that things are slowly changing. Within the framework of a strong and often a socially enforced CASTE system, I've noticed that nepalis themselves will more often than not naturally gravitate to members of their own caste and comfortably marry "one of theirs"
What can be drawn from all this? Well, what you want...! For each person to decide. But the point remains that if people:
- speak the same tongue -
- share the same beliefs, attend the same temple, church or synagogue
- share the same values
- tend to think along the same lines
- were brought up with similar interests, very possibly attended the same school
- used to "same-same" traditions as the nepalis say
- and have numerous other things IN COMMON (like dress, etc.)
there is something good to be said for those norms.
My remarks should never be interpreted to mean that one cannot cross lines. Of course people should have the complete freedom I maintain to marry a madhesi, or a newar, or a kshtriya or a brahmin or a sudra if they are genuinely in love. That's both normal and obvious.

dupuis2017

Touche! I agree.
They say that travel broadens the mind. This one factor of broad-mindedness is perhaps the biggest single difference between them and us expats. Most of us have had a unique opportunity and advantage of having traveled abroad, sometimes to many, many lands, like I happened to have. In Nepal, however, I would say that to this day, less than 1% of the total population have traveled abroad.
I still meet many nepali people here who have never been inside a plane or flown any place.  Let's hope that in the future, this situation will change for the less fortunate nepali people. But in the meantime - and because of this present disparity between us - I find that in conversations, for example, we often we are not at all on the same wavelength. And let's face it, nepalis like to see things their way....and stick to their guns! So in the broadest of terms, so often in human relations in general, there is a nepali perspective, and then there is ours, which may be quite different of course! Vive la difference, like we say in France!

TheoauNepal

A good place to start by way of trying to improve intercultural relations would be to teach geography to nepali children in schools. In all the years I've been here, I can't start to tell you how many nepalis I've talked to simply have no notion of it, not even the basics. How many continents in the world? Dunno know. With a bit of luck, they may know that Paris is the capital of France, but if you ask them:
What's the capital of Australia, they are likely to give you the wrong answer like Sydney or Melbourne or worse, draw a blank face.
Capital of Turkey? Not Istambul, that's for sure.
United States? New York,...sorry, wrong again guys! Canada....? South Africa....??? Jordan....???
If one wants to really put them to the test, then ask them:
Riga is the capital of which country?
Reykavik?
Sofia?
Dakar?
As for Ouagadougou?..........Burkina what?  Continent??? (blank)
Sorry to sound a bit critical, but it's a national phenomenon which has always amazed me, how little they know in this department. We can only hope that the authorities do a better job in the future.
This thread is requesting funny stories, so here goes with a true story.
At one time, I had a really quite brilliant young chhetri boy in his late twenties working for me in Kathmandu. He'd attended good schools, spoke quite good english and after 4-5 years, became quite a capable office manager.  One day, he turned to me to ask this leading question:  "Tell me, in what part of South America is Canada located, and what's the capital,.... because we have a shipment to go there"?
I must say he left me speechless....almost fell off my chair that day.

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