Tet "lucky money" advice

There's a mix of a lot of ideas here so it's hard to focus but no one doubts the importance of tradition and lucky money. I think there might be a clash of generations here. When I speak about this to people younger than 40, let's say, most of them will say that it's not 1980 anymore and things have changed. Most of the content you'll find online about tradition doesn't necesseraly reflect today's more modern life and needs.
We're probably never be able to do this experiment, but according to my Saigonese friend, if we gave people the choice between envelopes with USD$2 in them or envelopes with 200k VND in them, and they could choose *anonymously*, 80% of Vietnamese people would go for the higher, Vietnamese dong amount. If they are being watched, it might be totally different. That's an experiment very hard to make so we'll leave it at that, but I personally think I'm being much more realistic than what is being described here.

I was being overly "provocative" with my "nonsense" comment so I apologize for that, it was a harsh shortcut for "I don't think this is realistic in today's more modern Vietnamese culture".
-@WillyBaldy
So, youre right and everyone else is wrong,well done!

I asked my wife and she agrees that the 2$ note is highly cherished in Viet Nam. So I will use her as my one example as you have done. So lets call it quits and agree that you give what you want.
-@colinoscapee

Interesting, I'm reading my post again and can't see how it can be perceived as "everyone is wrong and I'm right". I found the discussion very interesting and very theoretical. I also never said the $2 wasn't "cherished", we were just comparing two options. You seem to take this very personal, we're not discussing politics as far as I'm aware

There's a mix of a lot of ideas here so it's hard to focus but no one doubts the importance of tradition and lucky money. I think there might be a clash of generations here. When I speak about this to people younger than 40, let's say, most of them will say that it's not 1980 anymore and things have changed. Most of the content you'll find online about tradition doesn't necesseraly reflect today's more modern life and needs.
We're probably never be able to do this experiment, but according to my Saigonese friend, if we gave people the choice between envelopes with USD$2 in them or envelopes with 200k VND in them, and they could choose *anonymously*, 80% of Vietnamese people would go for the higher, Vietnamese dong amount. If they are being watched, it might be totally different. That's an experiment very hard to make so we'll leave it at that, but I personally think I'm being much more realistic than what is being described here.

I was being overly "provocative" with my "nonsense" comment so I apologize for that, it was a harsh shortcut for "I don't think this is realistic in today's more modern Vietnamese culture".
-@WillyBaldy

You make good points, but for myself, the new tradition of monetary value being more important than the two people (giver and recipient) sharing in a symbolic exchange--signifying a hope for prosperity; not immediate gratification--then I may eventually stop participating.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely like the idea of giving special tips to adults at this time of year, especially the tradition of a 1 month salary bonus to employees (I had a housekeeper in Vũng Tàu who broke down into happy tears when I honored that tradition with her).

But if those statistics hold true, then, should I put a smaller amount of ₫50,000 VNĐ into red envelopes and give them to 10 different children, 80% of them (meaning, their parents) will not appreciate the spirit of the traditional gesture but will instead be disappointed by my lack of generosity.

In order for me to eagerly participate in this tradition as a foreigner, I have to believe that this is still a unique and special Vietnamese tradition.

Otherwise, it's just the same as money grabs from Santa so prevalent in the West.

🤑💰🎅💰🤑

You make good points, but for myself, the new tradition of monetary value being more important than the two people (giver and recipient) sharing in a symbolic exchange--signifying a hope for prosperity; not immediate gratification--then I may eventually stop participating.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely like the idea of giving special tips to adults at this time of year, especially the tradition of a 1 month salary bonus to employees (I had a housekeeper in Vũng Tàu who broke down into happy tears when I honored that tradition with her).

But if those statistics hold true, then, should I put a smaller amount of ₫50,000 VNĐ into red envelopes and give them to 10 different children, 80% of them (meaning, their parents) will not appreciate the spirit of the traditional gesture but will instead be disappointed by my lack of generosity.

In order for me to eagerly participate in this tradition as a foreigner, I have to believe that this is still a unique and special Vietnamese tradition.

Otherwise, it's just the same as money grabs from Santa so prevalent in the West.

🤑💰🎅💰🤑
-@OceanBeach92107

We definitely can't generalize and everyone is different, so there *are* a lot of people who will appreciate your gifts, that's for sure. The ones that find you "cheap" because they expect more from a foreigner won't say anything, and we don't really care because it's definitely supposed to be more about spirit than value.

I was once at a Buddhist temple in Saigon and my ex wife was complaning that most people were wishing for "more money" for the New Year, even though normally you should be wishing for good health and happiness. There'll always be more superficial people, sadly, in all traditions.

Hello all,

Kindly note that some off-topic posts have been removed.

It's the holidays seasons and 2023 is in 3 days!

Let's end our 2022 well on the Vietnam forum and welcome 2023 with peace, kindness and respect for all other members.

Cheers,

Yoginee

Expat.com team

Hello all,
Kindly note that some off-topic posts have been removed.

It's the holidays seasons and 2023 is in 3 days!

Let's end our 2022 well on the Vietnam forum and welcome 2023 with peace, kindness and respect for all other members.

Thanks for your great work and happy 2023

Here's what disappoints me:

Too much focus on the money and not enough on the red envelope.

Of course, as WB's friends imply, that's more "realistic".

If most Vietnamese no longer embrace the mystical-magical nature of the red envelope and lucky money, why should I care?

Here's what disappoints me:
Too much focus on the money and not enough on the red envelope.

Of course, as WB's friends imply, that's more "realistic".

If most Vietnamese no longer embrace the mystical-magical nature of the red envelope and lucky money, why should I care?
-@OceanBeach92107

I personally wouldn't go as far as saying they won't care if the content isn't up to their expectations. My point was that if given a choice, a majority would prefer to have a higher value of course, but it doesn't mean most people won't appreciate what you give them. I think another problem here is that it seems lots of Vietnamese treat Westerners to a different standard and expect more from them. I've seen this with day to day interaction. It's just my personal experience of course. So please keep on giving red envelopes and enjoy Tet!

@tunnelrat69 Just bought two new full stacks to carry back with me, one of the SN's was PL 46111111. Too bad they don't play the lottery in Hawaii, I'd go out and buy a ticket..........

@zeubie  although not lucky money related, I'm in Hanoi now, and our Canadian project provided food gifts for all staff and core business partners, plus staff received a 13th-month as a bonus TET salary. Staff had two gift choices: one traditional box consisting of wine, tea, biscuits, candies etc. or a more modern gift with a presentation package of 6 spices and a hot sauce. We also gave the traditional gift to our driver and office cleaner - it was the first time they had ever received a TET gift from a client. On top of this, I will give my driver 1m 'lucky money' next Wednesday.

The smiles on the faces of the people who do our trash pickup more than compensated us for the cost.  We did this last year, too, and they always are good about picking up loose items around our place. 

We also have a recycle man who we call when we have some things to recycle (without selling them to him).  He went ear to ear smile when we gave him a li xi envelope.

So, after all this talk of lì xì I actually only distributed boxes of European cookies this year, bought a big one at my favourite juice place and asked them to share between employees. I felt it was easier than distributing a bunch of lì xì, I'm not sure it was cheaper because these cookies can be quite expensive

The smiles on people's faces were definitely worth it.

The woman I dated insisted on "lucky money", I gave her 2000 VND buahaha

The woman I dated insisted on "lucky money", I gave her 2000 VND buahaha
-@narcrepellant2525

I hope for her sake it was the last date with you

@narcrepellant2525 Sincere Vietnamese Friends will never, never ask for Lucky Money, only whores do that.

I was tired of daily ripoffs, dentist scams, hints by different girls that they need money for this and that, one demanded "salary" if we go into relationship,  one had dying mother in immediate need of surgery and needed money ASAP, one tried to cry during sex that I left her before Covid  and unknown to me Gringo supported her financially during her rough times (It was good performance btw, she should consider acting career) and  I am just tired to hear that nonsense. Yes she has sketchy character, I realized that she is habitual liar, tried to make me feel  guilty ("*you* made me gray-haired", while I met her 4-5 times), albeit she has good job, and she is not poor at all. Manipulative, controlling type, no wonder she is divorced.

@WillyBaldy  Amen

There's a mix of a lot of ideas here so it's hard to focus but no one doubts the importance of tradition and lucky money. I think there might be a clash of generations here. When I speak about this to people younger than 40, let's say, most of them will say that it's not 1980 anymore and things have changed. Most of the content you'll find online about tradition doesn't necesseraly reflect today's more modern life and needs.
We're probably never be able to do this experiment, but according to my Saigonese friend, if we gave people the choice between envelopes with USD$2 in them or envelopes with 200k VND in them, and they could choose *anonymously*, 80% of Vietnamese people would go for the higher, Vietnamese dong amount. If they are being watched, it might be totally different. That's an experiment very hard to make so we'll leave it at that, but I personally think I'm being much more realistic than what is being described here.

I was being overly "provocative" with my "nonsense" comment so I apologize for that, it was a harsh shortcut for "I don't think this is realistic in today's more modern Vietnamese culture".
-@WillyBaldy

You make good points, but for myself, the new tradition of monetary value being more important than the two people (giver and recipient) sharing in a symbolic exchange--signifying a hope for prosperity; not immediate gratification--then I may eventually stop participating.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely like the idea of giving special tips to adults at this time of year, especially the tradition of a 1 month salary bonus to employees (I had a housekeeper in Vũng Tàu who broke down into happy tears when I honored that tradition with her).

But if those statistics hold true, then, should I put a smaller amount of ₫50,000 VNĐ into red envelopes and give them to 10 different children, 80% of them (meaning, their parents) will not appreciate the spirit of the traditional gesture but will instead be disappointed by my lack of generosity.

In order for me to eagerly participate in this tradition as a foreigner, I have to believe that this is still a unique and special Vietnamese tradition.

Otherwise, it's just the same as money grabs from Santa so prevalent in the West.

🤑💰🎅💰🤑
-@OceanBeach92107

Addiction to immediate gratification, yes these are "modern times", mental shallowness, like all least 1 hour photo sessions in shopping malls or before some landmark, oh how I am beautiful...

I appreciate everyone for all of your thoughtful replies.   I think I will bring some crispy $2 bills, mainly for the children.  Any Viet friends or hotel clerks etc. I would want to give a bit more in VND.

I appreciate everyone for all of your thoughtful replies.  I think I will bring some crispy $2 bills, mainly for the children. Any Viet friends or hotel clerks etc. I would want to give a bit more in VND.
-@theraver

if you're planning to give to a lot of strangers don't forget to buy the extra red envelopes.

A single ₫10,000 or ₫20,000 VNĐ note is quite sufficient for strangers met casually.

My own way of celebrating Tết with Lucky Money:

In our Vietnamese family I gave 1 million each to a few elderly & poverty-stricken aunts & uncles and my wife's parents living in the rural farming communes of Quảng Ngãi province, 500k to each of our twin teenage daughters, 200k each to their four cousins and 100k each to other children at the main Tết family celebration.

When we returned home to Hội An, I gave a few neighbor children 50k each (a bit more than $2 USD) and kept a few 20k bills in red envelopes in my pocket for a few days for the stranger child or elderly person I might cross paths with on the streets.

I personally received great joy in celebrating Tết in that manner.

There is no one right way...

😌

🙏

P.S.: I routinely tip ₫5,000 or ₫10,000 VNĐ at inexpensive Vietnamese eating and drinking establishments or for short taxi rides.

it's amazing how much a Vietnamese person can do with those little bits of money.

I never thought about it but I fear I may have come across as the rich foreigner trying to show off.

In Canada when I was married to my first wife I used to hang envelops from a tree and the children would pick one.  each one would contain a toonie (which is a $2.00 CDN coin). I would add a $20.00 bill to a few as a surprise to a lucky few.

Unfortunately my wife passed away from Cancer  and I started  to see a women form Ho Chi Minh who is now my second wife. We started talking on WhatsApp for a few months and she mentioned she was going back to he home town for tiet.  I sent her $888.00 US for her and her family to share as lucky money.  I knew that 8 was considered to be a lucky number so I thought it was appropriate but this post has got me wondering if the gift was received as showing off. If it matter I am Caucasian.

I have been over to see her three times and each time I have given her father money as a show of respect but have struggle the best way to present that as way as to present that.  Again I am afraid it will be received as the rich foreigner trying to bribe his way into the family. I have been giving $1,000 US each time and I have to say her family has been nothing but welcoming.

The funny thing is my wife told me that her mother was a little upset that her father got money and she did not as her father did not share the money with her mother. That is something I never considered lol.

Each time I have visited I have taken her extended family on a trip to a resort for a vacation. On the last trip I was surprised to find that out of the 16 family members 12 had never been on a plane before. I love doing things for them and try to be respectful and appreciative of how they have welcomed into the family but I struggle to avoid being the rich foreigner who is trying to show off. Maybe I am concerned over something that is really nothing?

No man, you are making fool of yourself TBH. Not judging you I did that to my cousins in Europe too, not a single one was grateful for anything I did to them. Just simple test, when you gave the money to them did anybody said "thank you" ? Do not let your sense of loneliness and desire to have somebody close deceive you.

I never thought about it but I fear I may have come across as the rich foreigner trying to show off.
In Canada when I was married to my first wife I used to hang envelops from a tree and the children would pick one. each one would contain a toonie (which is a $2.00 CDN coin). I would add a $20.00 bill to a few as a surprise to a lucky few.
Unfortunately my wife passed away from Cancer and I started to see a women form Ho Chi Minh who is now my second wife. We started talking on WhatsApp for a few months and she mentioned she was going back to he home town for tiet. I sent her $888.00 US for her and her family to share as lucky money. I knew that 8 was considered to be a lucky number so I thought it was appropriate but this post has got me wondering if the gift was received as showing off. If it matter I am Caucasian.

I have been over to see her three times and each time I have given her father money as a show of respect but have struggle the best way to present that as way as to present that. Again I am afraid it will be received as the rich foreigner trying to bribe his way into the family. I have been giving $1,000 US each time and I have to say her family has been nothing but welcoming.

The funny thing is my wife told me that her mother was a little upset that her father got money and she did not as her father did not share the money with her mother. That is something I never considered lol.

Each time I have visited I have taken her extended family on a trip to a resort for a vacation. On the last trip I was surprised to find that out of the 16 family members 12 had never been on a plane before. I love doing things for them and try to be respectful and appreciative of how they have welcomed into the family but I struggle to avoid being the rich foreigner who is trying to show off. Maybe I am concerned over something that is really nothing?
-@tomshooter

Welcome to the forum.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Better (in my way of thinking) to be the person who comes here with grand intentions to bestow the biggest gifts your budget allows than to be one of those foreigners who enters the country complaining about how ungrateful Vietnamese people rip you off and don't deserve any gifts, long before they've ever had significant interaction with Vietnamese people.

You can always adjust what you do in the future, if that's what seems right to you.

A good Vietnamese wife will help you gracefully retune your gift giving so as to be reasonable and appropriate within the immediate family.

Thanks for your good post 😎👍

Let me share. Im not a rich person. Only a small business owner. My viet wife and I are careful on spending and do not live in utmost luxury. Our family is not big neither. During tet i prepare vnd1.5m each for father n mother in law. My own parents i gave the same too. For my sibling n wife siblings who are not married i gave around vnd 500k each.  Childrens of family i gave 200k. N kids around neighbourhood i gave 50k each. The same goes to my part of family n friends in malaysia. Im msian chinese by the way. Most important thing is not blowing out too much as there are stil alot of expenses during that time. But if one is another level up above n can afford it, its ok... but for those who cant its ok. Its always ok for smaller figure.. dont too bothered by how people think and look at u. If there is a case of seeing not grateful, avoid goinf back next year.saved all hassle n money