Language barrier.

chrisrobin wrote:

I've dating and like a 48 year old Vietnamese women.  While back in the states, I sent her $$ to get a passport, prepare to travel & mostly, to hire an English teacher & or attend English classes.
We're traveling together now, she accomplished everything but the English.   She said she can't learn it & I've forgotten what little Vietnamese I learned. 
It really isn't much fun in a relationship when you can't communicate, except with a translator.
Are thete sny othet options I've missed ?

The options I can think of probably won't be helpful to you now.

I feel for you.

I was in a similar situation with a woman up in the north.

Eventually, I had to walk away from the relationship due to her lack of willingness to improve communications between us.

It sounds like the best option would have been to negotiate such things at the beginning of the relationship.

Most of us don't like to do that, because it seems to be a human tendency (maybe a western human tendency) to just let relationships magically happen.

It doesn't seem very romantic to use the word negotiate, but I think in these kind of cross-cultural situations here in this country, it's a good idea to have a firm understanding of what you both expect before money is "gifted".

Wishing you good luck, whatever you decide to do

From my point of view, there's actually two big challenges when dating a Vietnamese women. The language is one thing, but even if you could understand 80% of what she says (and her of what you say) there's also a big *cultural gap*.

I personally don't mind using Google Translate once in a while and some Vietnamese women are very good at using it too so that communication is not much a problem (for me anyway) but understanding why they do certain things (and I'm sure the other way around) can cause lots of headaches!

chrisrobin wrote:

I've dating and like a 48 year old Vietnamese women.  While back in the states, I sent her $$ to get a passport, prepare to travel & mostly, to hire an English teacher & or attend English classes.
We're traveling together now, she accomplished everything but the English.   She said she can't learn it & I've forgotten what little Vietnamese I learned. 
It really isn't much fun in a relationship when you can't communicate, except with a translator.
Are thete sny othet options I've missed ?

Nope, nothing you missed. Move on.

In the future, don't send any money to someone you have not met yet. No exceptions.

My wife learned English, which enabled her to communicate with me.
She got her passport after we met and it's not that expensive or difficult, so no money was asked for.

I did help her financially with some issues, but only after we had been together in Saigon for months and it was clear we wanted to be with each other.

Good luck.

If you think the relationship is worth it, just persevere.

You really only need to know, what, a hundred words of each-others languages for basic communication? You will both pick up what you need over time, and you can always dig Google out of your pocket if needed.

I view it as part of the fun... plus, there are advantages to not always knowing what your SO is muttering about...

And everyone speaks the same language in bed. 

Brick23 wrote:

If you think the relationship is worth it, just persevere.

You really only need to know, what, a hundred words of each-others languages for basic communication? You will both pick up what you need over time, and you can always dig Google out of your pocket if needed.

I view it as part of the fun... plus, there are advantages to not always knowing what your SO is muttering about...

And everyone speaks the same language in bed. 

Does your wife snore too? 

Wadey

Brick23 wrote:

If you think the relationship is worth it, just persevere.
Kkk
You really only need to know, what, a hundred words of each-others languages for basic communication? You will both pick up what you need over time, and you can always dig Google out of your pocket if needed.

I view it as part of the fun... plus, there are advantages to not always knowing what your SO is muttering about...

And everyone speaks the same language in bed. 

I agree, I have been in a good relationship & live happily with my Vietnamese GF for 2 years now. She wants to learn English but is finding it very hard & I know very little Vietnamese. You must understand that some people find it easy to pick up a new language & some can never do it apart from basic words. If the relationship is good you will always get by. (the language of love will always be strong) In actual fact I have found in the 12 years I have lived here that very few Vietnamese master the English language ( including some Vietnamese who teach English) to a point they are understandable & NO Western people I have met have mastered Vietnamese.
Google Translate does it for me in my daily life here.

Wadey wrote:

Does your wife snore too? 

Wadey

Like a hibernating grizzly.   

Brick23 wrote:

Wadey wrote:

Does your wife snore too? 

Wadey

Like a hibernating grizzly.   

hahahahahaha

Brick23 wrote:

If you think the relationship is worth it, just persevere.

You really only need to know, what, a hundred words of each-others languages for basic communication? You will both pick up what you need over time, and you can always dig Google out of your pocket if needed.

I view it as part of the fun... plus, there are advantages to not always knowing what your SO is muttering about...

And everyone speaks the same language in bed. 

Actually, a hundred words is nowhere near enough to enable basic communication. Since I’m learning Vietnamese and have an app that tracks the number of words I learn, I recently looked it up, and you need at least 500 words to be able to do basic things. And my own experience confirms this: I have learned about 600 words so far, and I can do just a few things.
It can be frustrating, learning a language takes a lot of time. And understanding them is obviously another hurdle...

Back then, there was a muted lady married to GI, she settled in US. English is very hard to master, but one can easily getting by with limited vocabulary with hand gesture.
Vietnamese culture do not show much affection with language. The love and affection is showed  through action of caring, dedication, devotion.
My wife of 28 years said "I love you" less than the fingers on my hands.