LETS HAVE A LAUGH BUT NO FILTH

Stolen without permission from a FB post by my good friend Wadey:

Overheard on recent JAL flight...

-----------------------------------------------------

"If you're travelling with two children pick the one with the most potential and put their oxygen mask on first".

"It's ma'am, I'll have you know!"

    Overheard on recent JAL flight...
-----------------------------------------------------
"If you're travelling with two children pick the one with the most potential and put their oxygen mask on first".
   

    -@Aidan in HCMC

😱😱😱

If true, maybe the one with the greatest potential to help the other kid? 😉

Two things I hope I never hear whilst aboard a plane.

1) "Sir, I'm sorry, but this flight has been overbooked, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to relinquish your seat"

and

2) An automated alarm system voice stating, "Terrain. Terrain. Pull up."

If you've never seen a GEICO advertisement, you might not get it...

Call 911!

Hello everyone,

I have removed one post from this thread

Please note that comments should remain polite even if you don't get or appreciate the joke.

Thank you

Bhavna

    Hello everyone, I have removed one post from this thread Please note that comments should remain polite even if you don't get or appreciate the joke.Thank youBhavna        -@Bhavna

How can you be against religion in the forum but support jokes about one of the major religious figures in the world?

For the record, I'm now an official Agnostic in my old age, so I don't have a personal gripe about being offended.

***

***

@OceanBeach92107

Hello,

Please note that we are not against religion (this is a misinterpretation). The guidelines forbids members to discussion about religion and faith as it is deeply personal and private matter. Topic revolving around religion and ideologies are not allowed.

Discussions about them may lead to disagreements or conflicts.

We are not discussing religion here and our expert has not infringed any rules.

I would invite you to differentiate between the 2 and if you need any clarifications, please feel free to contact us so that we could properly discuss : contact.cmteam@expat.com

Regards

Bhavna

Out of date post deleted by Fred

Oops.

Hello everyone,

I want to address the importance of avoiding religious discussions on the forum due to the fine line between jokes and potential offence. We have decided to remove all posts involving ''religious jokes'' to maintain the peace of this thread. While we generally don't intervene in the forum, this time we found it necessary.

Please be respectful towards others when sharing jokes about religion, as it is a highly sensitive topic. Your cooperation in maintaining a respectful environment is greatly appreciated.

If you wish to express your concern, kindly send an email to contact.cmteam@expat.com

Thank you,

Cheryl

Expat.com team

There's been recent discussion on the forum about the bird flu.

I don't see what the big deal is. They do that all the time.

https://www.odditycentral.com/news/chin … rging.html

Chinese Company Develops Tiny Atomic Battery That Lasts 50 Years And Doesn't Require Recharging

The atomic powered test vehicle was involved in an accident and was a write off - as were three local towns.

Had an Irish buddy teach me what he said was a very common saying in his neck of the woods. He told me to say it fast whenever I use it, else it might not be understood. "Whale Oil Beef Hooked".

    Had an Irish buddy teach me what he said was a very common saying in his neck of the woods. He told me to say it fast whenever I use it, else it might not be understood. "Whale Oil Beef Hooked".
   

    -@Aidan in HCMC

ha ha the old ones are the best

-@OceanBeach92107

OFFS

What do dragons snack on during Vietnam's Tet celebrations? Firecrackers

Seems I've now rung in close to 400 New Years.

No wonder my back is feeling sore.

Your name is Jim Smith, and you've recently transferred with your company to work in Vietnam.  At the end of the first day of work, you're invited by some of your Vietnamese coworkers to go out for a drink.  Question: Will your recently introduced colleagues address you as, a) Jim, or, b) Mr. Smith?  Answer: Mr. Jim

My wife and I were having lunch with a new friend in the Đà Nẵng, An Thượng tourist ghetto the other day, and I told her:

"If we moved back to this area, one good thing would be a lot more people who speak English.

"But the bad thing would be a lot more people who speak English..."

Yep!!!

I'm perfectly happy be a grumpy old git around too many English speakers.

    Yep!!!I'm perfectly happy be a grumpy old git around too many English speakers.         -@MyGuess

A curmudgeon ?

True story:

A friend of mine owns a diner in an Arizona town. They have a sign board out front with moveable letters that has been unchanged for decades reading:

"FINE DINING ELSEWHERE."

@Aidan in HCMC

A gruntled grumpy old git :-)

    My wife and I were having lunch with a new friend in the Đà Nẵng, An Thượng tourist ghetto the other day, and I told her:
"If we moved back to this area, one good thing would be a lot more people who speak English.

"But the bad thing would be a lot more people who speak English..."

-@OceanBeach92107

BUT>........................would they ask the same questions: "How old are you? Is she your wife? How much money do  make?Where you from?"

-@goodolboy

and if all the bovine of the world farted at the same time, and got lit by a match?

    @Aidan in HCMC
A gruntled grumpy old git :-)
   

    -@MyGuess

Present!

@Mac68

Armageddon!

[link under review]