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Gordon Barlow

My wife and I began as Australian expats and ended up as British expats when the UK gave citizenship to all its colonials in 2003. She and I met in 1964 at a hostel in Greece, travelled together for eight months, married in Canada in '67, shifted around the world for the next 11 years, and lived in this Caribbean island for the next 42 years.

She died last August, having composed and typed her own obituary, which I reproduced in the program of her Memorial Service. I think it was an excellent idea, and am currently trying to write my own obit. It's heavy going, so I'm starting this thread as a discussion platform. What should I put in, or leave out? There are lots of short posts in the personal blog I wrote between 2010 and 2016 - many of them reminiscences of our Australian childhoods and our travels in the Middle East and the Soviet bloc, others just personal opinions on this, that, and the other. It's tempting to refer my friends to those posts, and let them sort the wheat from the chaff.

What do you reckon? All advice gratefully received!

guestposter15352

Since it seems that you are a man who has done and had gone through many many different things in your life, much more than an average person from any part of the world, the summary of the obit should make people think what really is the purpose of life.

abthree

Gordon,

My sympathy on the loss of your wife, and congratulations for the wonderful partnership that you seem to have enjoyed.

Obituaries are like resumés:  most people who read them, skim them once with a feeling of obligation, then forget them.  A few, though - some family members, some close friends, perhaps  - will keep them and read them over, for comfort, memories, and perhaps a little guidance.   They're your real audience, so write to them.  What will they want to know?

Critical dates, certainly:  you're writing family history.   But mostly a farewell look at someone that they loved, and probably admired.  A brief summary of a life well lived, and what made it so.

Good luck!

Shawn_Chang

In case you're still looking for direction on this, spend some quiet time with yourself and ask yourself, what kind of a legacy you intend to leave behind when you passed on? Did you accomplish it or was it something you had done that might inspire others to continue the activity on your behalf regardless of who they are?

Given that you have traveled not only yourself and also with your wife, if you are open to sharing,what form of inspiration you may provide for people who decide to journey on to your foot steps?

Hope these be of help, cheers!

Gordon Barlow

Three lines of thought so far: purpose of life (finnbo), family history (abthree) and legacy (Shawn). Thanks fellas. All excellent themes. How many words would you each go for?

Shawn_Chang

That's a good question, Gordon. It is subjective though, if you require some guidelines, perhaps the sample in this site could be of good assistance for you:

https://www.funeralbasics.org/write-great-obituary/

Gordon Barlow

Shawn_Chang wrote:

It is subjective though, if you require some guidelines, perhaps the sample in this site could be of good assistance for you:


Thanks, Shawn. I must say I like the idea of a self-written one, though! And if I can get my act together in time, I will indeed write my own. In one's long life, though, it's going to be a lot more difficult deciding what to leave out than deciding what to put in.

stumpy

My late father, with the help of a good friend's daughter, wrote his WW2 experiences, complete with photos, and it was put onto a CD. She also narrated on the CD.
This was played at his funeral service at our local Returned Services club.

Shawn_Chang

Gordon Barlow wrote:
Shawn_Chang wrote:

It is subjective though, if you require some guidelines, perhaps the sample in this site could be of good assistance for you:


Thanks, Shawn. I must say I like the idea of a self-written one, though! And if I can get my act together in time, I will indeed write my own. In one's long life, though, it's going to be a lot more difficult deciding what to leave out than deciding what to put in.


Gordon, if you don't mind, we can find a time for a video call and see if I can be of any assistance to you in deciding what you planned on and wishes to convey of your thoughts. I've visited your blog and you have some great stories that can be covered. I will leave this in your decision if one of these days you feel like chatting up with on this topic again.

I understand that you would have lot of things in mind that requires processing right now. Above all, trust your gut feeling.
Cheers.

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