Extended Business Trip

I am not an expat, but I am what they called it extended business trip, I’ve been here long enough to know the rule of the game. There is no rule actually, yes we have this company policy that arrange everything that you need during your assignment but the rule that I am talking about here is more to personal effect, yes of course you got a compensation of this but is it worth it? They have a name for this “premium hardship” 10% to be exact, but you can get more of this when you assign to exotic country with your life at stake of course, this will be fun and if you like a little bit or much adventure to your life it will be perfect. But not for me I loved my life.

It is not about the money you know, first of course this will be your consideration but after a while you would think differently, you leave your home country, leave all the routine, leave your family, by the way I am happily married man with 2 boys. For the first time is great you know to be able to get away from the routine, boring life, your family, but it won’t last, for my case it took 2 week to be home sick, I don’t know about you guys but some friends of mine last longer a few week more or even a month. I used to be a weekend dad and husband before, in my previous job as consultant required me to go to work to other country every Monday morning and go back Friday evening to your family. This sound like a great life right, I am kind of staying in different hotel every time, went to a nice restaurant every evening but still you miss the routine, a little thing that matter like after a long day at work you go home to empty room instead of to your wife and kids, saying good bye to your wife after eating a nice breakfast that she might prepare instead of eating the oriental breakfast in the hotel with the waitress that trying to be friendly all the time, just not the same. I did this weekend dad for a full year and had enough of this.

Go back to the extended business trip, what to eat tonight? Where to eat? With whom? This is always a question, I stay in services apartment room which come with a kitchen, but who want to cook anyway and eat alone, I try this, I like to cook but sometime I just like to cook only but not eating them, so is a waste of money also, I am better of go to a nice restaurant, order something and eat but the feeling of eating alone, is not the taste, most of this fancy restaurant that I went to offer really a good choice of food, but still is not the same if you have dinner at home, okay the food might not taste good because you wife kind of experiment thing from the internet or something but at least you have this life conversation that you miss so much, like what your boys did today, what happen with the neighbors, what is the hottest gossip today, what I did at work, what my jerk boss did today, just a routine stuff that you exchange with your spouse.

What about your sex life, did it change? Yes of course, we’ve been married for good 7 year now we don’t have really everyday sex or really active sex but we do have a routine sex, maybe twice a week, once a week who’s counting anyway but when we need it, is there, so no more question okay. Of course this cannot be substitute, Okay I can pleased my self with a help of my porn collection dvd, hidden deep inside my laptop but duh still not the same. So you mostly will find something to substitute this, some guys went to the gym, some guys went to the bar, and me I am the bar kind of guys, so yes alcohol helps. So if you lucky and you being assign to a place where a beer is cheaper than a mineral water (like where I come from), you should be thankful but in my case to be drank everyday is not cheap.
The point is you need company, somebody to substitute your relationship back home and what are the options: first, most guys just go straight to the prostitution, you can afford it (not everyday though), no feeling attached, just a guilty feeling that you can easily wash away with the alcohol. Second option, find yourself a temporary girl friend; easy to find girl friend that interest only on your money and expensive stuff that you willing to buy them, just went to a club and flash you dollar bills and just be a foreigner, this type of girl will surely find the way to your table. It will cost you, yes. Did this premium hardship will cover this, I don’t think so. Another type of girl is you attract them or they attract you by chance, but they are married and they looking for an affair, great, but this type of relationship tend to end badly, I think most of you watch the fatal attraction film right? So you got to play it well to get away with this. The other type of girl is when you met them incidentally like in the airport, or bumping into each other at the mall or in the restaurant, they are single looking for a the love of their life, you just suddenly click with each other and thing will step up to the next level and at the end they will ask for the commitment, yeah sure you can talk your way out of it just to stale time and keep the romance going but it really depend on you, when you also fall for them then you really in the deep shit man, remember you married with kid waiting for you at home.

Anyway, this is just a lonely guys talking, is not easy to be apart from your family, let alone for 3 month, because the policy said that the company will paid your trip back home every 3 month. In my case I did fall in a love with a girl, I love her so much, I am willing to give up everything that I have for her, but she just a nice and thoughtful person,   she end the relationship by saying she did not want to be a bitch who destroy a married man family. I am hurt of course because she kind of choosing a bad timing to end this relationship, I still have another 2 month to go.

So, what is your story?