All three agreed to share their stories and answer questions, offering valuable insights for anyone considering a similar path. Their experiences are both intriguing and informative, providing practical advice for those looking to move abroad together.
Introducing Alexia, Noa and Lou
Alexia's journey took her first to Rome and later to Barcelona, where she currently resides. She moved with a friend, and while the experience was initially promising, it ultimately led to challenges that strained and eventually ended their friendship.
Noa and Lou are sisters who were captivated by Mauritius and chose to relocate there to enjoy the island life. Moving abroad with a sibling has its complexities, but they agree that it has been a remarkable journey that strengthened their bond.
Here are their stories.
Deciding to move abroad together and choosing a destination
Choosing to move abroad with someone and selecting a destination are highly personal decisions. Often, the destination is a place that holds a special allure, and the choice to go as a duo can be driven by a mutual appreciation for the location or simply the comfort of not embarking on the journey alone.
For Noa and Lou, the decision was straightforward. They explain: "We were already living together and had fallen in love with Mauritius during a holiday, so deciding to relocate together came naturally. There's a sense of security in moving with family, knowing well who you're with. The island felt like home from our first visit, making it an obvious choice for us. We started our journey on a tourist visa and then transitioned to a Premium visa, preparing thoroughly to navigate the complex process of relocating our belongings."
Alexia's experience differed significantly. She recalls: "I was drawn to Rome as a personal dream, a city I had never visited but felt instinctively drawn to. I shared my plans with a friend who was unemployed at the time, and she decided to join me, viewing it as an opportunity not to start alone. However, I had made it clear from the beginning that my intent was to establish independence upon arrival—securing my own apartment and job. My friend, however, had different expectations, believing we would tackle everything together, from finding housing to settling in. This misalignment of expectations eventually led to challenges in our shared journey."
The evolution of relationships in a foreign country
Embarking on an adventure in a foreign country with someone else, whether it's with a partner, a friend, or a sibling, inherently presents challenges. Relationships can evolve in various ways during this transition. Some may strengthen, while others could face severe strains.
Strengthened sisterly bond
For Noa and Lou, sisters who moved to Mauritius together, their relationship exemplifies how bonds can deepen. "We won't lie; tensions are common between us—we work together, share the same friends, and live together, so conflicts are inevitable. But this move has undoubtedly brought us closer, making our relationship stronger than it was before," they share.
A friendship under strain
Conversely, Alexia's journey with a friend to Rome showcases how differing expectations and paces in organizing the move can strain a relationship. "My friend struggled with the independence I sought from the start, even though I had made my intentions clear," Alexia recounts. This discord was apparent even before their departure and grew after they arrived in Rome. "I made friends quickly and tried to integrate her into these new circles, but she felt abandoned, accusing me of forging my life in Rome without her. After about eight months, our relationship deteriorated significantly, and we eventually lost contact."
These narratives underscore that whether relationships thrive or diminish can depend heavily on communication, expectations, and the personal growth of each individual involved.
Lessons to draw from moving abroad together
Every journey of moving abroad as a pair carries valuable lessons, regardless of whether the experiences are challenging or fulfilling. Those who have taken this path agree on one thing: it's an endeavor worth pursuing.
Reaffirming bonds
Noa and Lou, who relocated together to Mauritius, would not hesitate to make the same decision again. They express a deep satisfaction with their current lives and the strength they've drawn from each other. "Having a sister alongside is like having a permanent team member," they explain. "We complement each other and push further than we could alone. It's comforting to have a reliable companion, especially so far from home. When one of us feels down, the other is there to offer motivation."
Setting boundaries
Alexia's experience with moving abroad with a friend brought its own set of insights. Despite the challenges, she views the experience positively and suggests it can provide reassurance, particularly from a parental perspective, knowing their child is not alone in a new city. "It's a good idea to move with someone, but you must establish clear expectations," she advises. "Not everyone is suited to be your travel partner. It's crucial to clarify each person's aspirations and communicate openly from the start. For instance, stating that you intend to be independent, meet new people, and create your life there while supporting each other without encroaching on personal space. Documenting these aspirations and having open discussions about them is key. That's the major lesson I learned—communication is essential."
These stories highlight the importance of understanding and setting clear mutual expectations when embarking on expatriation with someone else, ensuring that both parties are aligned and can support each other throughout the journey.
Moving abroad as a pair: Expat advice
When moving to a foreign country with a companion, who better to offer advice than those with firsthand experience?
Noa and Lou share their top five tips for a successful expatriation journey:
- Choose a familiar companion: It's crucial to go with someone you know very well or have previously lived with. Discovering that you're incompatible in a foreign country can be challenging and may complicate your living situation, making a potential return difficult.
- Foster independence: While it's comforting to have a companion abroad, it's important not to rely too heavily on them. Each person should aim to build their own life and establish individual routines. For example, even though one sister has a boyfriend and the other might occasionally be alone, she maintains her independence through friendships and personal activities, ensuring she isn't dependent on her sibling.
- Communicate openly: Always be open about your feelings. Whether it's family or a very close friend, it's crucial to express discomfort or dissatisfaction. Keeping lines of communication open can prevent minor issues from escalating into major conflicts.
- Respect each other's choices: If the person you're with decides they want to return home, it's important to let them go without resistance. Holding someone back can lead to resentment. Conversely, if you wish to stay, you should feel free to do so and make the most of your expatriate life.
- Avoid threats in disputes: During disagreements, avoid using the possibility of returning home as leverage. Threats can escalate conflicts and lead to regret once tempers cool down. It's important to resolve disputes without making ultimatums about leaving.
Alexia offers three essential tips based on her own experiences of moving abroad with a friend, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and accepting each other's personal evolution:
- Embrace evolution: Moving abroad offers a unique environment where each individual can grow and change in their own way. It's essential to accept that friendships may evolve differently as people make new acquaintances and experience life changes. These evolutions can strengthen ties, alter them, or even, as in Alexia's case, end them.
- Manage expectations: It's crucial not to idealize the experience of moving abroad with someone. Being realistic about the risks and potential challenges helps in managing expectations. If you over-idealize the situation, disappointment and conflicts can arise, especially if the other person doesn't see things your way.
- Prioritize communication: Regular and open communication about each person's aspirations and desires is key. It's important to discuss what each expects from the move, maintaining unity and support for each other, even when it's challenging.
Now, turning the question to you—would you consider moving abroad with friends, siblings, or even cousins? What factors would influence your decision?
