Dining etiquette around the world 

How should you behave at the dining table? What should be avoided? Beyond the main principles, there is, of course, a lot of common sense, but in the end, wherever you may be, it all boils down to sharing a good meal in good company. Let's see how to do that.

Dining etiquette is an art 

We don't always think about table etiquette, but we instinctively attach much importance to our good manners when we are invited. Dining is indeed a very special occasion, especially when shared with others. Some will compare it to a dance, others to a choreography, to a concert or an opera. Some will even claim that guests bring authentic flavor to a dish. When cultures mix, the ensemble is even more enriching. Respecting the dining etiquette, in short, a crash course in human values.

The dining etiquette differs from one country to another. In Italy, for example, anyone who eats spaghetti with a spoon should expect a stern look from the locals. In Germany, on the other hand, this practice is totally acceptable. In Norway, no one will be offended if you reach for the saltshaker, but in the Republic of Congo, it is better not to. In Turkey and Senegal, drinking tea is an art, and in Senegal, you can even enjoy your drink noisily. Did you know that in Sweden, they prefer to serve milk rather than wine at the table? Another thing to remember is that while in Brazil, real-time is late, in Canada, you must be on time.

Each country has its own dining etiquette. You will discover and learn them as you get along with the locals and get to know your host country's culture better. But, in any case, don't worry. Many of these rules are just common sense. They are the same in all countries and are generally the most obvious ones: 

• Do not blow, scratch or pick your nose at the table. 
• Do not talk with your mouth full. 
• Do not start eating before the host. 
• Do not fill your plate as if you were the only one eating. 
• Be polite and courteous. 

One of the easiest ways to catch on with the local rules is to watch how others do and if you are confused during the meal, ask for help. No one will blame you if you don't know!

Now that we know about these generalities, let's skip on to a few countries where dining etiquette is crucial. Here's what to do and not to do when dining in the United States, South Korea, Morocco or France, amongst others.

United States

Just like in France, Germany, Japan or Canada, punctuality in the United States is a more than appreciated convention. You can even show up a few minutes early to make a better impression. Forget about the French "quart d'heure de politesse" which is normally a fifteen-minute grace period allotted for your host in France to get ready for the occasion. In the United States, you will just be considered a boor. Stand back and let your host lead you. Chew with your mouth closed. And if you don't know what to do with your hands, put them on your lap. Remember to tip if you've been invited to a restaurant. Waiters rely on it, not to make ends meet, but to get their salary. Rather than blaming the waiter for a dish that came a little late or a little lukewarm for your taste, show compassion and generosity, especially in these times of crisis.

South Korea

In South Korea, elders have priority. They are the ones who announce the beginning of the meal. They have the best seats (farthest from the door, to avoid the breeze). Wait for them to start eating. Say "Jal mog ke sseub ni da" (I'm going to eat well! equivalent of "enjoy your meal") and follow their lead. Refill their glass when you see it's empty. If an elder is serving you a drink, be respectful: hold your glass with both hands and turn to the side to drink. Eat in silence, including soup (no sucking noises). In a traditional meal, the bowl of soup is placed on the right and the bowl of rice on the left, and the other dishes are in the center of the table. You can eat the rice with chopsticks or a spoon, but never lift your bowl as is the custom in Japan or China. Use your chopsticks like ordinary cutlery: with bonhomie and logic (don't point with the chopsticks, don't stick them in the food). Finish your meal at the same time as the elders. At the end of the meal, say "Jal mogeossubnida" (I enjoyed the meal).

Senegal

Have you been invited to eat a traditional dish in Senegal? Well, that could be an extraordinary experience. The meal can be served seated at a table or on a mat on the ground. In the second case, you should take off your shoes. You will be seated either on a small stool or on the mat, where all the guests form a circle around the large main dish.

Wait for the host to call the start of the meal before eating. As in South Korea, respect for elders is very important in Senegal; so keep that in mind! Remember to eat with your right hand. Whether the meal is eaten off a large platter or on individual plates, your host will always present you with the best pieces of meat or fish. They will want to make sure that you enjoy your meal. In Senegal, hospitality extends to the plate, and by eating with appetite, you will honor your host.

Canada

Here you are, at your host's door with your friends. What are the rules to follow? Well, men and women are equal at dinner time also. There's no need for gallantry, just common sense: whoever is closest to the door goes in first! But do not forget to bring something like a dessert, a bottle of wine or juice, a small decorative gift to show your appreciation for the invitation. This is a basic rule of etiquette in Canada. Be on time! No apologetic text message will excuse your rudeness. At the table, wait for your host to start eating before grabbing your fork. If you are attending a banquet, you can start eating as soon as several guests are seated. 

Whether you're a gourmet or not, stay reasonable. Don't be heavy-handed when serving yourself, but don't go the other way, either. Be balanced. If you fancy a dish at the other end of the table, the rule of thumb says that dishes should be passed counterclockwise. 

Ban your phone, your eyeglasses, and any other personal objects from the table. Ideally, you should turn off your cell phone or put it on silent mode. When you need to make an urgent call or send a text message, excuse yourself before leaving the table. And if you are a non-alcoholic guest, put aside your wine glass to indicate that you're not drinking.

Germany

At a German dinner, there is no such thing as an appetizer-main course-dessert, but only one principal meal. First, wash your hands. Then go to the table and wait for the host's cue to help yourself. This rule applies to meals with friends as well as with colleagues or acquaintances (and is even more important for the latter). If you love bread, it's good to know that bread is not a side bonus in Germany. It is served at the table only if it is needed for the dish. So don't bother looking for it or ask your host if it's not on the table. 

For a drink, have some sparkling water (wasser) or still water (stilles wasser). Germans mostly drink wasser. If the meal is good, you shall convey your appreciation silently. Don't chew with your mouth open. Avoid putting your elbows on the table. This practice is being lost among the younger generations but is still common among the older ones. When dining with an elder, be sure to observe good manners.

Morocco

In Morocco, the guest is honored. A shared meal is an important feature in Moroccan culture, so your host will always ensure you are comfortable and at ease. In return, show your joy and gratitude by complimenting the food. 

Dishes are usually placed in the center of the table. The meal is eaten by hand, with the khobz (round bread) that forms the place setting. Take a piece of khobz and use it as a spoon to trap the sauce and food. Traditionally, Moroccans eat with their right hand, but as a guest, you can handle your khobz pieces with both hands. Wait for the host to call the start of the meal. You will often be served huge portions, to the sound of lots of "koul, koul" (eat, eat). In Morocco, hospitality is very important. Honor your host and eat with an appetite.

Japan

In Japan, people rarely invite guests to their homes. If you are lucky enough to be invited to a Japanese house, be on time and bring a small present. But also make sure to respect the dining etiquette.

A good presentation is appreciated

Most importantly, make sure to wear socks that do not have holes in them, as you will be required to take off your shoes when stepping into your host's home. Get rid of your coat as well (your host will know what to do with it). Humbly present your gift while saying: "Tsumaranai mono desu ga, douzo.", which literally means: “This is a worthless, boring thing, but it's for you!”. Don't forget that in Japan, the container is almost as important as the content. So, be mindful of your gift wrap. Lean forward slightly when presenting it. Let your host lead you, and don't be loud. 

How to sit

Pay attention to the seating plan. Chances are that you'll be sitting at the table. But if your friend invites you to their little studio, you might find yourself installed on a cushion at the table. If the meal takes place in a traditional atmosphere (or in a traditional restaurant), you could even be sitting on a cushion on the floor. Thankfully, the seiza position, which can be uncomfortable even for hardy Japanese people, is no more mandatory. The rule is that men can sit with legs crossed and women can sit with their legs to the side. But no one will blame you if you are a woman sitting cross-legged. The host will do everything to make you feel comfortable.

Eating well

Once you're comfortably seated, it's time to say “Itadakimasu!” Contrary to popular belief, the word does not mean "enjoy your meal", but rather "thank you for this dish; I receive it with gratitude". In Japan, meals consist of several small dishes, and they are all placed in the center of the table. To toast, say "kanpai". Do not help yourself when it comes to drinks; serve others instead. They will return the favor. This rule applies especially to alcohol. 

Hold your rice bowl with one hand and your chopsticks with the other. Do not sauce your rice. You will have trouble catching rice grains. Sushi is one of the few foods that can be eaten by hand. Watch the other guests or your host and be delicate. The ramen plates are obviously delicious; you can tell by the slurping sounds around you.

Chopsticks are cutlery. Follow the rules of common sense: Don't point them at someone or something, and don't poke your chopsticks in the dishes. When you're full, and if someone wants to serve you again, don't say “Iie” (no), but “Daijôbu desu” (I'm fine, thanks). At the end of the meal, say "gochisou sama deshita" (that was very good, thank you).

France

To end our world tour, let's have a look at France, the country of gastronomy, with very fine dining etiquette. For now, let's forget about the cutlery and its different sets for fish, meat, cheese, dessert, and so on. Unless you are attending a very formal meal, you are unlikely to come across all this paraphernalia. But if you do, just sneak up on your neighbor and do as they do while hoping that they are used to French dining.

Respecting the timing

First of all, make sure to arrive on time. Even if the legendary French "quart d'heure de politesse" (a fifteen-minute grace period allotted for your host in France to get ready for the occasion) speaks for itself, avoid the big half-hour delay. Follow your host and go wash your hands (ask if needed). Next comes the seating plan! Even if there is none, try not to throw yourself on a seat. 

Now that you are comfortable, "bon appétit"! This is a widely used phrase in informal settings, but one should avoid saying it at a more formal meal. The best practice is to say nothing and to answer only if the host says the famous "bon appétit". Here again, feel the atmosphere and follow your table neighbors.

Self-control at the table

Usually, the left hand holds the fork, the right hand holds the knife. But no one will take you to court for reversing the cutlery. However, there are other rules to follow: 

• Don't make noise while eating.
• Don't clack your teeth, let alone slurp. 
• Drink and chew discretely. 
• Don't poke your head towards the plate as a wolf would dive on its prey.

Sit up straight with your forearms on the table (but not your elbows!). If your hands are not in use, don't hide them under the table; just rest them on the table. When seated in a chair with armrests, don't rest your forearms on the armrests while eating. Bear the weight of your arms with dignity and sit up straight (or at least try to). Back in the old days, guests were so tightly squeezed that they couldn't allow their elbows to be on the table without the risk of bumping into their neighbors'. Today, even if there is more room at the table, the practice remains. It's a matter of respect and good manners.

Banning personal devices

As a rule of thumb, your host's table is not yours. Don't lay your eyeglasses (with or without a box), your pack of tissues, or, worse, your cell phone on the table. At a time when the smartphone seems to be grafted to the hand, it may be hard to resist. But remember that personal objects can be bacteria carriers, which are not welcome at your host's table. 

Need some salt or pepper? Avoid pulling your arm across your neighbor's plate; just ask for it. And don't forget always to ask permission before you leave the table.

Gallantry or chivalry...

Should you let women go first? Here's our take on so-called gallantry. 

It is indeed worth knowing that, basically, there is nothing gallant about this practice. Originally introduced during the rule of Henry IV (1555-1610), it was only intended to ensure that the premises were safe. At the time, when assassinations and other bloody violence were part of everyday life, women were allowed first for the sake of so-to-say security. They were sent in as bait or shield for the men, which makes it very odd, far from the chivalry protocol that it carries today. So don't worry about letting women in before or after you. Just hold the door behind you; you will already be very kind.