The journey of an expat is often filled with excitement, adventure, and opportunities for personal growth. However, amidst the allure of new experiences, there is an unspoken challenge that many expats face - the sense of not belonging. As they embark on this global odyssey, expats must grapple with a complex array of emotions and challenges, which include adapting to new cultures, languages, and social norms.
In this article, we will try to examine the factors that contribute to the sense of not belonging for expats and offer insights on how to navigate this emotional terrain.
Why expats may feel like they don't belong
Expats often experience a sense of not belonging due to various factors that can make adjusting to a new environment challenging. Some of the key factors that contribute to this feeling are:
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Culture shock: Moving to a new country can be a disorienting experience due to significant cultural differences. Expats often find themselves grappling with unfamiliar customs, social norms, and values that can make them feel out of place and disconnected from their new surroundings.
In her blog and story on expat uprooting, Gabriela Encina, expat psychologist, explains what made her feel out of place in her new destination in detail: "My first expat uprooting was within my home country, Chile. I went from a relatively large city, the port of Valparaíso, to the capital of more than 8 million inhabitants, Santiago. And it was very, very difficult. I didn't know all the “codes” of the people of Santiago; everyone already had their friends from school, from university, from work. The madness of buses, the subway, and people looked like they were on their way to the slaughterhouse with few smiles. I also arrived loaded with prejudices: the capital is dangerous, public transport is a catastrophe, and the pollution is unbearable."
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Language barriers: Communication is essential for building relationships and understanding one's environment. When expats face language barriers, they may struggle to express themselves effectively, leading to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation.
The language barrier can be quite debilitating for expats, and NomadCapitalist even has an article on the 15 expat-friendly countries that speak English.
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Homesickness: Expats can experience homesickness as they miss familiar faces, places, and routines from their home country. This longing for the familiar can exacerbate feelings of not belonging in their new environment.
In her blog LaurenonLocation, Lauren, a serial expat and traveler, talks about the feeling of homesickness as one of the key contributors to repatriation: "Even still, intense feelings of homesickness as an expat can come as an unwanted surprise and make the road to settling into a new place much more difficult. For many expats I've worked with, missing home is even thought to be a deciding factor in their choice to move back home or “repatriate.”
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Lack of social support: Building a social network in a new country can be challenging, especially when existing connections are limited. Expats may struggle to find like-minded individuals or groups with whom they can share common interests, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
This is often why social media comes to plan an essential role in expats' lives after they relocate.
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Identity struggles: Living in a foreign environment can lead expats to question their own identity and sense of self. They may feel a loss of their cultural identity or struggle to find a balance between their home and host cultures.
In her blog called Dabbling in Jet Lag, Jen, a seasoned expat, writes about how navigating new cultural barriers can lead to struggling with self-identification. "In the beginning, the excitement of moving abroad overshadows everything else. But, once this initial feeling disappears, it's easy to become disorientated. You begin to feel like the ‘eternal outsider', and you long for the life you once had. And, as you attempt to navigate the cultural barriers, you find yourself exploring different versions of your identity. The more you experiment, the more you question which version of yourself you can accept. You become caught between exploring and committing, and it's this state of limbo that leads to an identity crisis.”
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Discrimination or prejudice: Expats may face discrimination or prejudice in their host country due to their nationality, ethnicity, or other factors. This can make it difficult for them to feel accepted and integrated into the local community.
This article by Conde Nast Traveller explores the problems of racism and prejudice that black expats face in certain regions. The article quotes expat Nathalie Calderon who worked in South Korea as an ESL teacher for five years: “Don't expect traveling abroad or moving abroad to be your one-way solution to avoiding racism, [Discrimination] is ingrained in many cultures whether it's based on racism or colorism, so that's something you're going to deal with.”
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Work-life balance: Expats may experience high levels of stress due to work demands or difficulties adjusting to different work cultures. This can leave little time for social activities and personal growth, contributing to feelings of not belonging.
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Unrealistic expectations: Some expats may have idealized expectations of life in their host country, leading to disappointment when reality does not match their preconceived notions. This can further contribute to a sense of not belonging.
Claudia Brision, a former French neuroscientist and expat in Denmark, describes this phenomenon as "expectancy violation". "The good news is that it is possible to change one's expectations. Even better, if you prepare yourself before moving abroad and seek information about the country you are moving to in advance, your expectations are more likely to be set at a more realistic level.”
Understanding these factors can help expats develop coping strategies to better adapt to their new environments and overcome the challenges associated with a sense of not belonging.
How can expats overcome a sense of not belonging?
Feeling like you don't belong is a common experience for many expats. Here are some tips that may help you overcome this sense of not belonging:
Join expat groups: One way to connect with people who share similar experiences is by joining expat groups. These groups may be found online or through local organizations. Being part of a community of people who are going through the same transition as you can be incredibly helpful in overcoming the sense of not belonging.
Connect with locals: Meeting and interacting with locals can help you feel more integrated into the local community. Try attending local events, volunteering, or taking classes to connect with locals with similar interests.
Learn the language: Learning the local language can help you communicate better with locals and feel more comfortable in your new environment. It also shows a willingness to adapt and integrate into the local culture.
Explore your surroundings: Knowing your new surroundings can help you feel more connected to the area. Take walks, go on hikes, or explore the local attractions to become more familiar with your new home.
Practice self-care: Moving to a new country can be overwhelming, so it's important to take care of yourself. Make time for activities you enjoy, eat healthy foods, exercise, and get enough rest.
Seek professional help: If you are struggling with feelings of not belonging, speaking with a mental health professional who can provide you with additional support and guidance may be helpful.
Remember, adjusting to a new environment takes time and patience. By taking steps to connect with others and care for yourself, you can overcome the sense of not belonging and build a new home away from home.
