Traditionally, the term "trailing spouse" has often referred to women accompanying their partners on international work assignments. However, this can be limiting. For these spouses, navigating a new career landscape abroad can be challenging, especially when faced with societal stereotypes. The image of a "stay-at-home spouse" often overshadows their professional aspirations. But the reality is far more nuanced. How do women, and men, approach their careers when following their spouse abroad? What factors should they consider when pursuing professional opportunities abroad?
International relocation: A shared experience
While precise statistics are difficult to obtain, experts agree that an increasing number of women are expatriates in their own right. A 2018 Forbes survey focused on several thousand female expatriates, primarily young women between 20 and 30, who embarked on their careers abroad independently. By 2023, the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs reported a more balanced distribution, with 50% female and 50% male expatriates. Unlike the Forbes study, their data encompasses all registered French nationals abroad, regardless of their marital status.
Despite this progress, preconceived notions about international relocation persist. The stereotypical image often depicts a male expat with a stay-at-home spouse. This portrayal can create an additional burden for these partners, regardless of their choice to manage the household. Even when this role is chosen, it's an active and demanding one, even if unpaid. Recognition for this work, however, remains elusive, particularly when it's primarily associated with women.
The situation becomes even more complex when these spouses are professionals in their own right. A 2022 Manila Bulletin article highlighted the experiences of expatriate women who are journalists, doctors, or lawyers. Their careers are often overshadowed by their diplomat spouses' professions. Their work is sometimes mistakenly seen as a hobby, and they're presumed to have a comfortable life solely due to their partners' positions. These women face a pervasive undercurrent of disregard that can make their daily lives difficult. They refuse to be relegated to the "shadows" and are actively seeking career fulfillment and recognition abroad.
Charting your career as a trailing spouse
Planning a career move abroad requires careful consideration, especially when accompanying a partner on an international assignment. Expatriation may not always be a preordained path for couples. Sometimes, the impetus comes from the partner's career plan, with an offer for an expatriate contract or relocation (employers seem less likely to offer such opportunities to women). Alternatively, the partner might find a job abroad independently. In these scenarios, what options are available to the spouse? What happens if they need to resign from their current position? How can they explore career opportunities in the host country?
Pre-departure considerations for expat spouses
Regardless of the reason for moving abroad, it's crucial for couples to approach the move collaboratively. Thorough preparation is vital, including asking yourselves the following questions:
- Was the chosen country a joint decision, or was it primarily the partner's choice?
- How does the host country view women in the workplace?
- What is the country's stance on women's rights?
- What limitations or opportunities does your dependent visa impose?
- Can your previous job be adapted or transferred to the new location?
- What is the job market like in the host country? Is finding work easy?
- How likely are career advancement opportunities in the new environment?
- Would you consider retraining if finding employment proves difficult?
- Which industries are the most active recruiters in the host country?
- Are you interested in starting your own business? Does your visa allow it?
- Do you have connections with female professionals or entrepreneurs in the host country?
- Are there established networks for expatriate women in your new location?
Finding work abroad
The process of preparing for expatriation can be overwhelming, with tasks like visa applications and securing accommodation taking priority. If your partner is on a pre-arranged work assignment, they may be able to shoulder more of the logistical burden, freeing you to focus on your job search. This doesn't mean they shouldn't be involved in your career exploration; on the contrary, their support is invaluable. If they have contacts within foreign companies that might be a good fit for your skills, encourage them to leverage their network. Some companies offer expatriate packages that cover all or part of the job search costs for the "trailing spouse." However, negotiating such generous packages is becoming less common, and expecting a "golden package" is unrealistic.
A similar logic applies if you and your partner are both looking for work abroad and your partner got hired first. Ideally, dedicate as much time as possible to your job search before departure. Securing a position beforehand can alleviate stress and allow you to focus on settling in once you arrive. Otherwise, the job hunt will continue in the host country. Your partner's support is crucial during this time. They can help manage administrative tasks (even though, in practice, the "trailing spouse" often handles most paperwork initially) and provide emotional support.
Utilize your existing professional network and actively build new connections. While online resources are valuable, don't underestimate the power of in-person interactions. Participate in conferences or events related to your field or even broader cultural events like festivals or musical gatherings. Most importantly, prioritize learning the local language. Job hunting itself is a demanding endeavor.
Pursuing your career abroad: Adapting and advancing
If you're committed to continuing your chosen career path abroad, it's essential to research the business landscape of your new country. The same job title can have different meanings and requirements depending on the location. Identify potential employers in your field, and don't limit yourself solely to multinational companies. Explore local firms as well, which is why language proficiency becomes crucial.
Be patient. Moving abroad is a period of adjustment. You'll need to rebuild your professional network and understand company culture, hierarchy, and expectations for advancement. You may not secure the exact same job or salary you had previously. The fight for equal pay for men and women is still ongoing, although some countries like Belgium and Luxembourg are making strides toward parity (with variations depending on the specific industry).
Initially, focus on integrating yourself into the business culture. Observe, learn, and actively apply your skills. This approach is far more effective than being overly eager or assertive. Maintain your professional network, demonstrate your enthusiasm, and adapt to your new environment. Once you've integrated, if you seek a promotion, follow the established procedures within the company culture for requesting advancement.
Retraining abroad: Exploring new possibilities
Are you struggling to find a suitable position in your field? Consider retraining, starting a business related to your existing skills, or exploring a new area entirely. Remember, retraining is an option to consider from the outset of your expatriation journey. A new environment can inspire a career shift.
To choose a retraining path, delve into your interests. What professional direction excites you? Do you envision yourself as an employee or an entrepreneur? Be realistic about the costs involved. Retraining, like pursuing a career abroad, requires investment in language courses or specific training programs. Ensure you have the necessary qualifications or are prepared to undertake the required training. If entrepreneurship interests you, verify if your chosen country allows expatriates to own businesses.
For salaried employment, research the job market in the host country. Which sectors are hiring? Do they align with your interests? For entrepreneurs, conduct thorough market research. Does your business idea already exist in your field or target market? Are you aiming for a local, regional, or national market? Develop a business plan, considering factors like the potential need for a physical location, loans (and eligibility to acquire one in the host country), a projected launch date, and anticipated sales. Don't forget to determine the appropriate legal structure for your company based on the regulations of your host country.
Essential tips for choosing or redefining your career as an expat spouse
Maintain a positive outlook
Job hunting can be a lengthy process, even more so for expat spouses who may face additional challenges due to their dependent status. As the search drags on, motivation can dwindle, and self-doubt may creep in. Many expat spouses, despite their strong qualifications, feel overlooked or undervalued. This can create a vicious cycle that negatively impacts morale, relationships, and the overall expatriate experience. Support groups exist to help navigate these challenges. Don't isolate yourself; connect with others and share your experiences. Build friendships with locals and other expatriates.
Create space for balance
Don't dedicate all your energy to job hunting or career advancement. Take a sport, pursue a creative outlet, or explore your new surroundings. These breaks are essential for relaxation and establishing new routines. Find your favorite cafe, explore local walking paths, or discover a favorite grocery store. Engaging with the local community can also help you build your network and make new connections. Informal interactions can sometimes lead to unexpected professional opportunities.
