08/01/24 @jeedmond32. Thank you for sharing your story. This is important information, and especially because I'm sure that it wasn't easy to relate, I particularly appreciate it. Any foreigner considering residency based on family unification, and in particular considering it on the basis of "união estável" rather than marriage, should read it carefully and take it to heart.
A number of points stand out for me, and I want to highlight them as cautions to others in the future:
-- If you were absent from Brazil for more than two years that is probably what was definitive in turning the decision against you, especially with the written statement that your ex filed. I understand why you think that it's "unfair", but it's black-letter law and in this situation, would probably been impossible to get around. Your attorneys should ALL have been aware of that and warned you;
-- a couple embarking on this situation should get married if it makes any sense at all in the context of their relationship, because a marriage in a cartório can't be terminated on one person's say-so. If marriage really is not a good idea, at least register the união estável at a cartório. Without your união estável registered, I'm surprised that you were approved in the first place: most PF offices would have insisted on at least the registration;
-- the advice you received from your lawyers, if that's the whole story, was simply unconscionable. I'm not a lawyer, but I've been studying Brazilian laws for over fifty years, and the biggest red flag that jumped out at me the very first time that I read the 2017 Law of Migration, the current immigration law, was "they're really getting SERIOUS about this!" Contrary to most expats' perceptions, foreign spouses have NEVER had a personal right to live in Brazil, the right went in the other direction: Brazilians had and have a right to bring their spouses to Brazil to live with them in Brazil, if they want. The power was always with the Brazilian spouse: the current law is much clearer on that than the old one was. That was one of the messages in replacing all the old "permanent" visas with "temporary" ones: if the relationship ends, the foreigner's residency can easily follow. So even if "nunca voltam" used to be what was expected (and even pre-2017, that was an exaggeration, especially if there was a denunciation), it isn't anymore. Your lawyers should have known that, or their research should have told them that.
-- Given the power of the Brazilian spouse in this situation, it is vital to do everything possible to prevent a break up, and if that's not possible to keep the breakup amicable. If the Brazilian spouse files a complaint and there's a subsequent reconciliation, the couple must hunt that complaint down and get it canceled everywhere it has gone. This is a top priority and should not be left alone, because it can and will come back to bite you.
-- Immigration law is not a popular specialty in Brazil, so it will always be difficult to find an expert. The best you can hope for is to find someone with a good reputation who's a good listener, seems energetic, and is willing to work to get up to speed. In the absence of a genuine immigration expert, I always suggest finding a young, generalist attorney who enjoys research. This isn't ageist, it's a recognition that the 2017 law is still relatively new. In November 2017 the world changed in Brazil with respect to immigration and a status quo of at least fifty years was upended: the knowledge base of anyone who's only dealt with the old law is hopelessly outdated, unless they're recent graduates, or have been working to keep themselves current.
I'm very sorry for the situation in which you find yourself. Thanks again for sharing: I'm confident that it will help others.