Planning/Thinking Ahead

    Cherryanne: Your g/f being an OFW is a good thing. She's capable of working for an income.If you decide to pursue a deeper & stronger relationship with her, many would say keep your purse strings tight. I would agree. Adding retirement in the mix, I found an advice over the internet to NOT create dependencies. There's a likelihood her family would be asking for money, presents, shoes and corned beef. I am sure you'd be capable of saying 'No' or 'Hell No'. But say 'no' from the get go.I am hoping the best for you.        -@Jackson4

Thank you very much for your contribution but to tell you the truth, I am thinking of ending the relationship. I know from past experience that once she gets back to the Philippines things will be much better but the way things are right now, I very much doubt that I can hold on much longer. I will see in a few days.

I think some of Big Pearl's wisdom may be rubbing off on me because when my g/f started questioning me about my ex and daughter, the first thought that came into my head was not that she may fear for my safety or that I may have problems with the authorities if somebody decided to spill the beans , it was that she may be thinking that I will need to make child support payments, so less money for her and her family should we end up together after my retirement.

Cherryann01 said . . . . I am thinking of ending the relationship. I know from past experience that once she gets back to the Philippines things will be much better but the way things are right now, I very much doubt that I can hold on much longer. I will see in a few days.

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Think twice about that, think of all the Hot Water (shower) you have invested, all going down the drain.

@Cherryann01

I am thinking of ending the relationship

So it's back to base camp again?

    @Cherryann01
I am thinking of ending the relationship


So it's back to base camp again? -@Lotus Eater

I will PM you with the answer to this one.

The OP is "planning/thinking ahead"

This is relative to all people no matter race and not just Filipinos. Thinking ahead with the right head is the operative.

We all make mistakes from time to time and most learn and don't repeat the past.

I hope you sort out your issues Cherry and which ever way it goes learn and move forward and prosper.

Cheers, Steve.

Great people, nice life with the right one. When I first started looking for a relationship I ran into those that were supporting their family and those that asked for small amounts due to problems. Sounded like my recently divorced wife. I had one Filipina warn me about those. Supporting family, always broke, and it will never end.

My new wonderful Filipina wife worked in Hong Kong and got tired of all that nonsense back home. She would cut them off from communication and let them solve their own problems. This is what I would recommend looking for, someone that recognizes personal financial responsibility. Before we got married here in the USA I went to live there with her for 4 months. I met quite a few expats, the ones that lived around their significant others family were constantly supporting them in some fashion. Opening a business and hiring them, or some sort of investment. It was always financial disaster. The ones that were not married left the Filipina and moved on. My wife would tell me how they were throwing money away and had no business sense.

After 7 years of marriage we send money or gifts a Xmas, but she will not solve their life problems and will not send here hard earned money. She tells them "Do you think I am picking money up off the ground?"

We are all different, so you have to do what you think is right. Me personally, I would just move on. My wife's mother is now and I have no problem with that as she is 76. We support her expenses here, but my wife tells her that we will not redeem the farm that is pawned for her brothers and sisters issues. We will not bother with their problems and she can go home if that does not suit her. We explain they got the money they pay the bill.

There are so many Filipinas out there, you can find one that is financially responsible. IN my life I have learned you cannot fix people and look at the big picture. After 38years of marriage to the first wife I will never settle again. I think of all the lessons I learned and will look for the red flags and avoid them at all costs. My current wife explains the culture to me and all the bad things as well. She will not participate in anything that does not bring a return on her hard earned money. She does not repeat mistakes and make very few. She has tons of friends and some family that are OFWs and always tells them to stop sending money home you will never solve their problems.

She also warns of the one's that scam foreigners and are hitting 2 birds with one stone. You can fond one that does not have money issues. Especially if you look at OFWs as they can make enough money to invest at home like my wife who saved and built houses in the Philippines with cash and has long term investments. My final thought is don't accept behavior you would not accept at home as it is unlikely to change. Stay away from the family as many here have suggested.

Amen mikevan!

@Cherryann01

sorry to hear that. you obviously thought very highly of her. all the best

@Brojeslov thank you, but it is not for myself, but a friend couple living near. I just try to help specially the kid 14 years old that have depression....