Every Man Has a Story

Hung out to dry? Really?

Mark Thornton the host of Every Man Has a Story has passed away.
I'm not much into YouTube bloggers, I watched his YT channel several times. From what I gathered he had a stroke and past away in the hospital.

So it brings me to these thoughts:

Expats are in the last quadrant of their lives, so medical care is important, in the states if he had a stroke maybe he would still be alive today.

I believe he was 40 years older than his wife and they had a toddler together.

I can't understand why old Expats start a new family here, or visit for Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am and leave that Filipina hung out to dry by passing away or going home.

Isn't one family enough? - @Enzyte Bob

Yes, he passed away 2 days ago after being in a coma with a blood clot that led to a stroke. He apparently passed out and never woke up. He was seeing a cardiologist in Dumaguete but tried to take as little medication as possible. The private hospital he went to, ACE Doctors,  is a good one by Dumaguete standards (for whatever that is worth) but I agree, an American hospital could have saved him. So far, for people who have had strokes here that I know about, the hospital track record here is zero %.

Extreme age gap relationships are accepted by most expats but they lead to situations like the young girl naturally wanting a baby even though the breadwinner would have far fewer years ahead than normal. Mark expressed his concern about this in his videos and did make efforts to get his son declared a US citizen and a recipient of social security, maybe $1300 per month which would be an excellent income for a Filipino i.e at 67000 php per month, the salary of a captain in the Philippine army. However, I am not sure he fully completed the process. Hopefully his brother or somebody else can complete that process for them.

One family should be enough but in these relationships, the wife has not created *her* family yet. This points to a major problem with age-gap marriages. Culturally, most women are driven to have children, no matter what.

If she/her son cannot get the social security, then they go back to living in the 3rd world standard of living she came from. Probably, nobody will starve to death but the woman may have to work as a maid at about 8000 php per month. Filipinos in their nipa hut houses can live on that.

Or, perhaps, with this being so visible in the expat community over YouTube, there may be, or, perhaps  likely be, marriage proposals from other (age-gap) passport bro's here or overseas, kind of disgusting in a way because she is so young but in another way, maybe her best life-compromise.

I learnt about his demise yesterday with some sadness not only for him but of course his wife and son. It was my neighbour Julian who told me. Julian was interviewed by Paul last July. Have included a link to that below.

Paul was the first vlogger I watched during covid when he was based in Valencia at a resort the name of which I cannot recall. He introduced me to Old Dog New Tricks.

Hopefully the son will qualify for US social security given the amount of tax Paul contributed to the US Treasury during his working years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdUvXCbxhMQ

@Lotus Eater

Correction: for Paul read Mark.

Was he the grumpy bloke?

Not sure I would blame the Philippines medical system for his demise. If he was seeing a cardiologist but refusing to take medications than that is on him not the doctor.  Also he was overweight. Not sure if he smoked or was a heavy drinker.  If you watched his blog you could see he was out of shape. 

Morgacj200424 said . . . .Not sure I would blame the Philippines medical system for his demise.

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Alteplase or Tenecteplase  can dissolve  a blood clot if given immediately or within a couple of hours.

Hell . . . My pharmacy was out of Terazosin today. In the states at CVS or Walgreens this would never happen.

So in Dumaguete lotsa luck getting Alteplase or Tenecteplase.

Unrealated

In the states, Dialysis is free for everyone. If your diabetic in the Philippines and have renal failure, call the undertaker.

So ok if Mark was stateside he may be alive today. But like many Americans who come to the Philippines he was living an existence rather than a life.

Living in Bacong he was as happy as a sand boy and his enthusiasm for the Filipino lifestyle was infectious. His last few years were fulfilled. Maybe he ruffled a few feathers but none of us are perfect.

Some will say he should never have given his wife a baby but assuming she gets child support from the US government her son will probably have a better upbringing than if she had married a Filipino guy.

Unrealated
In the states, Dialysis is free for everyone. If your diabetic in the Philippines and have renal failure, call the undertaker. - @Enzyte Bob

In Dumaguete, on checking for dialysis centers there are very many. They would not be free but I suspect a reasonable cost like 4-5K, just a guess. But if you have no money to pay, like every other medical condition here, sayonara. You will not even get free treatment at government hospitals like local indigent people get.

Every day in this forum I read something negative about the Philippines from people who retired there or live there. I need to find a new group or maybe a more balanced forum. It's as though the people who participate in this one don't want anyone else to come to the Philippines. If it is so awful why do you still live there?

Every day in this forum I read something negative about the Philippines from people who retired there or live there. I need to find a new group or maybe a more balanced forum. It's as though the people who participate in this one don't want anyone else to come to the Philippines. If it is so awful why do you still live there? - @lakeman23

           People are telling you the negative and positive things about the Philippines.  This forum is very balanced that way.  I am sure you could find a rah rah site, but what would you learn about the Philippines?  Some on here could not afford to return to the USA, so they make the best of it.  For some dying at age 80 in the Philippines is their choice rather than living to age 82 in the USA.  The people who tell you these awful things also give you positives about the Philippines.  You are being given the information you need, plus invited to spend months in the Philippines to see if it is for you.  Good luck.

@lakeman23

If it is so awful why do you still live there?

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

American 60's songwriter

Is it hard for you to face the truth? Most people do not live here because it is Disneyland, they have many other reasons. For some it is affordability, for others it is an escape from a boring life back home, yet others get married here and bring up a family while still others got married back home and retired here so the spouse could be with their family. However, most of us are realistic enough to know that coming here to work for a company will *usually* not get you rich or even get you enough to survive on unless it was a long term assignment from back home, Also, the Philippines is similar to your western countries in terms of immigration and work permits. Some laws are much more severe, such as immediate deportation for illegal employment on a tourist visa or long term overstays. Somebody quoted the statement in the Wizard of Oz "you're not in Kansas anymore" which is very true of the Philippines. So, is it negative to say that to a newbie who comes across seemingly expecting to see unicorns? As with everything an intellectually mature person will do when consuming information online, this forum being no exception, it is incumbent on that person to properly filter the information and make their own determination before deciding whether to visit here, after which point much of what he read here will become irrelevant anyway.

Every day in this forum I read something negative about the Philippines from people who retired there or live there. I need to find a new group or maybe a more balanced forum. It's as though the people who participate in this one don't want anyone else to come to the Philippines. If it is so awful why do you still live there? - @lakeman23

Does this type of thing happen often where locals will take advantage of foreigners?

The above post you made on the 19th of December.

This is going to sound harsh Lakeman but its for your own good. Don't visit. Stick to Disneyland.  You are (and I have said it before on this Forum) what Jim Rockford would call the perfect 'Mark' You state that you are due to visit Cebu next summer. Yup I bet you're gonna be wearing the newbie t-shirt " I'm the new guy in town" It would not surprise me if you've been investing heavily in Filipino dating sites where many Filipina's have offered to meet you at the airport.

Good luck if you stick with your plan. You're going to need it.

Every day in this forum I read something negative about the Philippines from people who retired there or live there. I need to find a new group or maybe a more balanced forum. It's as though the people who participate in this one don't want anyone else to come to the Philippines. If it is so awful why do you still live there? - @lakeman23

@lakeman - Try youtube, you'd find everyone saying the Philippines is all a wonderful place. Contributors in this forum are mostly living in the Philippines. We share experiences based on the question posted. Just like everywhere else, you'd get the good with the bad. It is your choice how/where/when you can live your life here. Once you find a balanced forum, I am sure you'd find the same people as those who are here. It is best you come to the Philippines. Feel it, taste it, smell it and then 'find' your happy place here. This country is not for everyone.

@lakeman23

Welcome to the forum and please remember it's an open forum and some times you need to be thick skinned.

The members are simply relating the reality both pro's and con's of living in the Philippines, are other countries any different?

We see many rock up here with rose colored glasses until the reality sets in. While there are many problems here the joys of living here far outweigh the foibles

I have only been living here for 6 years so a relative newcomer compared to many but I was visiting and working here for 8 years prior and having a Filipino partner for near 14 years made sense to retire here, family etc.

While you may consider many comments cynical they are in fact reality. Best to spend a lot of time here, boots on the ground, taste the culture and flavors. The guys here are simply giving you a heads up.

You will love it but like many hate it. I am fortunate enough to love it, a good partner, a great life and no need to even visit my home country.

Sure pick another forum but you will find the same examples from those with better knowledge.

Good luck with your venture.

Cheers, Steve. 

@Jackson4

Well said.

Cheers, Steve.

Lotus Eater said . . . .

Some will say he should never have given his wife a baby but assuming she gets child support from the US government

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Remember the subliminal meaning of ASSUME ?

Lotus Eater said . . . . So ok if Mark was stateside he may be alive today. But like many Americans who come to the Philippines he was living an existence rather than a life.
Living in Bacong he was as happy as a sand boy and his enthusiasm for the Filipino lifestyle was infectious. His last few years were fulfilled.

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Making the decision to move to the Philippines is a Crap Shoot. He didn't know the future, one thing future Expats should consider is their health & finances. Without one or another the good life is short lived.

lakeman23 said . . . . Every day in this forum I read something negative about the Philippines from people who retired there or live there. I need to find a new group or maybe a more balanced forum. It's as though the people who participate in this one don't want anyone else to come to the Philippines. If it is so awful why do you still live there?

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Forrest Gump:

Stupid is as stupid does.

Life is like a box of chocolate covered Balut.

@Enzyte Bob

Making the decision to move to the Philippines is a Crap Shoot. He didn't know the future, one thing future Expats should consider is their health & finances. Without one or another the good life is short lived.

According to Mark, he came here with just a few hundred dollars, on a one way ticket and a laptop from which to make money teaching English online at $10.00/hr. He was, almost literally, at the end of his "rope" owing to his rather irreverent nickname by his YouTuber detractors i.e. "the rope".  But he was very transparent about what he did, and unashamed, and what he eventually became was a vast improvement to his previous life.

He had some enemies on YouTube.

My wife and I saw him a few times at Ground Zero where we go for coffee (and my favorite blueberry cheesecake). The guy was very tall and everyone working at Ground Zero knew him and politely turned off the music for him during his interviews. Then he got into the fight for which Ground Zero banned him shortly after hosting the US Embassy rep there.

I guess, sometimes after rising again from such depths to his new happy, content stage in life with local celebrity status in Dumaguete, it got to his head. I also understand that in January the person he hit at GZ was about to win a lawsuit which would have cost him a lot of money which would be added to his new car loan and might not be able to afford.

Maybe Jen can receive Rogan's dependent SSA income but from what I read, he was in the process of completing that but probably not finished. Hopefully his brother in the USA can help them complete that if she is still eligible.

Not sure I would blame the Philippines medical system for his demise. If he was seeing a cardiologist but refusing to take medications than that is on him not the doctor. Also he was overweight. Not sure if he smoked or was a heavy drinker. If you watched his blog you could see he was out of shape. - @Morgacj200424

Mark Thornton may have had a longer and happier life in the Philippines than in the US. Being unhappy can actually shorten your life. You medical insurance in the US can only assist you in extending your unhappy life. The Philippine medical system, in general, for sure is not as good as that in the US or other countries. St. Luke's may be one of the better hospitals here but it is in Quezon City (Manila area). In retirement, I will choose better quality of life outside the US over US healthcare system, however, I might return by mid 70s in case I'd be needing plenty of health care. Who knows, I might just stay out and die happy. I hope I'd have the luxury to pass in my sleep like rich people do. 😴

Not sure I would blame the Philippines medical system for his demise. If he was seeing a cardiologist but refusing to take medications than that is on him not the doctor. Also he was overweight. Not sure if he smoked or was a heavy drinker. If you watched his blog you could see he was out of shape.  - @Morgacj200424
Mark Thornton may have had a longer and happier life in the Philippines than in the US. Being unhappy can actually shorten your life. You medical insurance in the US can only assist you in extending your unhappy life. The Philippine medical system, in general, for sure is not as good as that in the US or other countries. St. Luke's may be one of the better hospitals here but it is in Quezon City (Manila area). In retirement, I will choose better quality of life outside the US over US healthcare system, however, I might return by mid 70s in case I'd be needing plenty of health care. Who knows, I might just stay out and die happy. I hope I'd have the luxury to pass in my sleep like rich people do. 😴
- @Jackson4

         We have chosen to live the best of both worlds.  We can take a 16 hour plane ride twice a year, have all my medical work done in the USA except getting my teeth cleaned in the Philippines.  Get live baseball and plenty of free music in the USA, avoid snow and ice.  It took years of savings and working overtime, not retiring until age 68,  but it was all worth it to us.  Hope to keep snow birding for 6 months every year.  One of the ways to ease up on the 16 hour plane rides is this year taking a cruise from Japan to Seattle.  Should be fun.

Stone Wall Jackson4 said . . . .

Your medical insurance in the US can only assist you in extending your unhappy life. The Philippine medical system, in general, for sure is not as good as that in the US or other countries. St. Luke's may be one of the better hospitals here but it is in Quezon City (Manila area). In retirement, I will choose better quality of life outside the US over US healthcare system, however, I might return by mid 70s in case I'd be needing plenty of health care. Who knows, I might just stay out and die happy. I hope I'd have the luxury to pass in my sleep like rich people do. 😴

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Unhappy life? quoted above.

My employer medical insurance at age 62 paid for my Bypass Surgery. Six weeks later I quit my job and moved to Las Vegas and enjoyed a very happy life. Then at 72 years of age my Medicare Advantage plan covered my Stents and I continued my happy life.

Those things extended my "Happy Life".

At the age of 76 I quit my job and with my Filipina wife moved to the Philippines.

Now I'm not as happy when I was 62, but considering my age I should be happy. My main concern now is that I'm in better health than my wife who is 13 years younger. If she should pass before me, which is very possible, Poof there goes my 13A.

Her & I are dependent her two adult children who lives with us. I seldom go out, when I do one of them is with me/us. For me it is one or two trips a month is to Landers or S&R.

When my wife goes to the small market or wet market our housekeeper is always with her. When she returns she is exhausted.

For other things my sons do our banking, make grab arrangements and visits the Pharmacy for our meds.

Health wise I don't know where I stand, the only visit to the Doctors was in the first month for cataract surgery (now have xray vision). Then shortly afterwards a Doctor visit to get prescriptions.

With age comes limitations, I know my capabilities so I never exceed them.

As mentions in other's quotes, the quality of life is important, that quality changes with age, so if everything is right that window is very small and gets smaller each year and that decline is not linear, it's accelerated.

As a passing note:

When I told friends I was moving to Las Vegas many of them saying they waited to long for themselves to follow their dreams. So between all the negative & positive, I can only suggest to future Expats is to follow your dreams if you are capable of doing it.

@Jackson4

In retirement, I will choose better quality of life outside the US over US healthcare system, however, I might return by mid 70s in case I'd be needing plenty of health care.

Another option is be able to get treatment in both countries, ensuring that you keep up your medicare B and medigap plan N or G (I wouldn't bother with medicare C). The expensive long term treatments and surgeries can generally wait until you fly back home (takes one day) and you self-insure for the immediate treatments here, for example heart attacks. Strokes will be expensive only if you end up in ICU for many days but you should try to keep up enough savings for self insurance like $20k in the bank and money for a plane ticket. You don't generally need to stay in the US full time if you can get back home quickly. The problem is when you quit your US medicare payments and do not have some savings or at least a high limit credit card as insurance. You can also pay for Philippine insurance to cover the immediate emergencies before going home (rather than self-insure) but over a certain age they will not insure you anyway.

@Enzyte Bob

So between all the negative & positive, I can only suggest to future Expats is to follow your dreams if you are capable of doing it.

Awesome advice. Most people I know in the USA had no particular dreams except to live as long as possible. To future expats, if you do dream for more than just a longer life, such as the adventure of living in a new culture, THAT IS A GIFT to take advantage of. Yes, follow your dreams.

To the complainers: please no negativity here. If you are not happy with traveling to, or spending time in the Philippines then please go somewhere else. Those of us that like the Philippines don't need negative comments. It may not be perfect for some, but for others it's AOK. Many of us have been around the world and have had plenty of experiences good and perhaps bad ones. We have made up our minds to do and be where we want to be........simple as that. No place is perfect, but you are welcome to try it.

Life is short so try and make the best of things, and as a wise man once said, "follow your dreams."

I wish you a happy holiday season and all the best for the new year.

Yes Dan if you have dreams follow them, make them happen, I simply wanted a happy and content life so if that's a dream then I found mine/ours.

Cheers, Steve.

To the complainers: please no negativity here. If you are not happy with traveling to, or spending time in the Philippines then please go somewhere else. Those of us that like the Philippines don't need negative comments.  - @stuleer

       Maybe you folks who can't handle the truth ought to go elsewhere.  What gives you the right to decide what does or does not get posted here?

I would agree mugtech especially in an unaligned open forum and to stuleer I would question you statement about complainers,,,,, negativity, don't you mean members sharing reality?

Your post answered yourself, "it's not perfect" and the realism offered up by members is for those looking through rose colored glasses expecting a tropical paradise,,,,,, from a third world country full of bureaucracy, scammers, bribery, the list goes on and some need to be made aware of the fallacies as well as the great points of the Philippines.

Most here are happy and are living fantastic lives better than their home countries, I certainly am.

Cheers, Steve.

@stuleer

Well said!

@stuleer

To the complainers: please no negativity here. If you are not happy with traveling to, or spending time in the Philippines then please go somewhere else. Those of us that like the Philippines don't need negative comments

Hmm. Love it or leave it, eh? When I hear controlling statements like that I try to determine which authority told him/her that they had the power to unilaterally set standards telling members how they must behave.

Yet other members who cannot see the unicorns don't go anywhere; in fact, long after people like @stuleer leave the forum, here we remain discussing expat matters, even including our dreams at times.

People like that do not have dreams, they are stuck on fantasies.

12 years ago Ecuador was a popular spot for expats, there was a healthy pouring in of newbies and people there for a few years.  International Living listed it as the top place to go.  One woman on here back then was ready to take a 90 trip to Ecuador to check it out.  Then she found out that most places in Ecuador one cannot flush toilet paper, but must put the used toilet paper in a bag next to the toilet to be disposed of seperately.  She said that changed her mind.  Some liked the fact that the national currency is the US dollar.  The yearly income required for expats was lowered then later tripled.  Then the government closed all the casinos, even made cockfighting illegal.  Word on the street was cockfighting were still available, just had to make the right connections  More recently there have been all kinds of drug wars along the coast.  Terrible riots and slaughters in the prisons.  Some cruise ships stopped going to Manta.  Recently there have been 16 hour a day blackouts because of lack of rain. Lots of sun, little solar power.

               International Living no longer lists Ecuador in its top 10 expat spots.  There were many on here who were grateful that the negativity was spotlighted on here.  Now days Ecuador gets two or three posts per week.  The guy I got to know who used to go to the casino in Bethlehem, PA before moving to Ecuador has since moved to Colambia,says it is safer.

Philippines the land of Kumbaya

What?

They come and go Bob, we see it all the time, a little experience reveals all once the shades are removed. For the critics of offered realities, here are some good points.

A happy partner/relationship, a beachfront home for a tenth of the price compared to my home country, far less expensive to live, nice people, reasonable local cuisine including cheap seafood, a Kg or 2 pounds of oysters for 3 or 4 bucks. Pick well where you live for noise, dogs, roosters and burning rubbish and you have found your nirvana.

Be aware of the realities and frustrations here.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

@Steve - not everyone is as lucky as you are.

Some guys have all the luck

Some guys have all the pain

Some guys get all the breaks

Some guys do nothing but complain

@Jackson4

It's great to communicate with song lyrics once in a while. In this from the old 1973 song by the Persuaders.

They come and go Bob, we see it all the time, a little experience reveals all once the shades are removed. For the critics of offered realities, here are some good points.
A happy partner/relationship, a beachfront home for a tenth of the price compared to my home country, far less expensive to live, nice people, reasonable local cuisine including cheap seafood, a Kg or 2 pounds of oysters for 3 or 4 bucks. Pick well where you live for noise, dogs, roosters and burning rubbish and you have found your nirvana.
Be aware of the realities and frustrations here.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve. - @bigpearl

I came to this forum primarily to understand the negatives!  Kind of like buying a used car...I don't want to know just the good, I also need to know what is wrong in order to make an informed decision! 

I have read and listened and the negative/constructive criticism has saved me a lot of heartburn!  I am still trying to wrap my head around the best banking products and money transfer apps since there is do much conflicting info on the forum, but I can say I am at least moving in the right direction!

Thank you to everyone here for all the positive and negative commentary!  Some of us do appreciate the negative as being helpful.

@Jackson4

No luck involved, hard work and wise decisions. Made my mistakes 30 and 40 years ago and learnt well.

Cheers, Steve.