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Sex with locals, std's and the law

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worried man

Hello there Im a man from the UK living in hcmc. Ive been here about 9 months, when I first arrived I got friendly with this spanish guy and his vietnamese wife, through the wife I met her niece and she seemed nice had a few dates and then we had sex, then the morning after she started asking for money because she came in a taxi to see me and her friends, I thought ok so gave her some then she wanted more as she had lost out on work, i realised maybe she was a hooker, we used a condom once then done it once more without as we ran out.

So a few months later i start seeing a girl, we date for 3-4 months and then my friend said this girl has been known to be a hooker so this made me worried as someone else had seen her sitting with old men. Another friend told me I should get tested, I do and I have fucking syphillis :( I told the girl ive been seeing obviously she has it too so we get to the hospital and get our course of injections so hopefully that is it.

But im working last week before my final injection, go for a coffee and this vietnamese guy starts speaking to me, know how it is a lot of them are very friendly, hes asking where I live what I do, fairly normal conversation and he says will you go see your girlfriend after work, I say no because the week before she said we should just be friends but I cant explain this to him as he has to go.

So after work I go to the hospital for our final injection, meet the girl and im waiting and I swear I thought I saw the same guy, im maybe being paranoid but its funny seeing him outside my work hes asking questions and then I see him again.

As I say im hoping im being paranoid but what if the hospital has told authorities about our problem and the gestapo are tailing me, paranoid I know just I was sure it was the same guy in the hospital. Im trying to rationalise it by thinking if the police wanted me they would porbably easily come and get me but Ive done nothing wrong just been unlucky but I do know technically people arent supposed to have sex without marriage, share rooms etc.

Im just wondering anyone any thoughts or insights into this, am I just being paranoid, maybe it wasnt the same guy, or maybe it was the same guy but just a coincidence or maybe the authorities are tailing me?

laidbackfreak

Just because your paranoid, don't mean they aren't out to get you ;)

Seriously though don't worry about it, as far as police etc. are concerned anyways. Chances are he's her pimp? (No idea I'm really guessing here)
Play for fun yes, but always play safe, no matter how sweet and innocent the girl appears to be.

chinhngo

Yes, you are paranoid, due to i dont think that the police is following you, They dont have free time to do that. You did meet a butterfly girl and you have had the fucking syphillis sick. So please dont make love with any other nice girl, you will kill her.
Pls be a nice man :)

freshair

Just think about it, if she does it with you (unprotected sex), she'd do it with others too.

worried man

Yes thanks for the reassuring information guys really appreciated, it actually happened last night then I couldnt sleep last night so today Ive been working all day and afternoon so suffering from exhaustion so think this has added to my paranoid state.

Of course the police dont have time to be wasting with such trivial matters that was crazy thinking really, if they wanted me they would come get me im sure! Soon as I found out I told the girl I was with and we got it sorted out not like im out infecting people, just someone had mentioned to me that there are western guys in jail here for infecting girls with std's, though he is known for talking shit and peddling fear, still I put 2+2 together and got 16.

When I read your first sentence laidback freak I got worried hahaha feel better now just need some sleep and some tlc, actually wait im off the tlc LOL

freshair

If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
Also chill, you're not in nazi Germany (,:

Teacher Mark

laidbackfreak wrote:

Just because your paranoid, don't mean they aren't out to get you.


Rocky, is that you?

jason1975

Wear a condom goodness , no matter how the situation is. It's impossible to tell from her outlook . Hey , how's your prick now ?

freshair

No no, I just thought it was a catchy phrase, ofc always wear protection, kids!

ancientpathos

It is a catchy phrase...

Pandagao

Oh,  HPV can spread even with condom... a Doctor told me before.

freshair

It only affects women, and same goes for chlamydia.

Flo-vn

worried man wrote:

(...)someone had mentioned to me that there are western guys in jail here for infecting girls with std's, though he is known for talking shit and peddling fear, still I put 2+2 together and got 16.


You shouldn't give too much credit to what expats tell you in bars, a beer in the hand, while you didn't ask anything. Bars are full of people who approach you, saying "I've done Vietnam" and who imagine themselves living in a dangerous country, full of spies, bad cops, corrupted communist stufs, diseases, drug dealers, wild animals, robbers, ladyboys, etc... Usually they don't know much about life in their own country and pretend to teach you about a country they have just been for a few months, chating only with english speaker barflies.

Wherever it is, one should not have sex without condom before both partners got a blood&urine test. Basic sense of responsibility.

Good luck with your treatment.

Flo-vn

bohemian_rhapsody wrote:

It only affects women, and same goes for chlamydia.


Where did you learn that HPV and chlamydia only affect women?

freshair

Chlamydia only presents symptoms in women, and while it can lead to infertility, it doesn't affect men. HPV hardly affects men at all. My ma made me get an HPV shot a while ago and that's what my doctor told me.

Flo-vn

From what I've learned, both can affect men also.

jjk.nguyen

Dont be so worry, I think u can overcome this problem. Next time, live better and love seriously, it is also good way to protect your safe and your partner.

saigonmonkey

bohemian_rhapsody wrote:

Chlamydia only presents symptoms in women, and while it can lead to infertility, it doesn't affect men.


Wrong. There is a very small percentage of men who may have chlamydia without showing symptoms. In most men, the symptoms will be very similar to those of gonorrhea - a burning sensation with milky discharge at all times. Symptoms usually appear after about 2 weeks after exposure and infection. Antibiotics such as azithromycin can be used for cure.

bohemian_rhapsody wrote:

HPV hardly affects men at all.


Wrong again. HPV causes genital warts. Men can get the warts all over their private parts, and they look like small skin tags. Some are so small they are barely visible. But a qualified doctor can see them. There is no medicine which cures HPV, but the warts can be removed (usually burned off) and there will be no recurrence if all are found and removed.

This information is readily available on reputable websites, which may be found using our friend, Google. Please don't post irresponsible information on this forum.

JulesVn

The HPV info is sort of right - in that HPV causes cervical cancer and that is quite difficult for a man to get.

The chlamydia info is the wrong way round. It is very common for women to have a subclinical infection with no immediate symptoms, although it can lead to pelvic pain and infertility later. Men tend to get burning on passing urine and a nasty discharge. The scarring can also close off the urethra which is no picnic either.

worried man

Hey guys thanks for the responses yes I know exactly the kind of people you mean Flo-Vn. As someone pointed out syphallis can be spread by oral, body contact and even kissing, so codoms dont always protect against this one, it depends where and how the disease entered the person who has it, though the drs were unable to tell me how, or how long I had it, its difficult with the language barrier. Also as others have mentioned men do indeed get chlamydia. A friend of mines told me vietnamese clinics dont test for this???? I got the drugs needed to kill it just incase.

Ava phan

Hope you overcome this hard time. Sex is fun do not quit ..lol
.Do not forget to wear a condom next time

worried man

Yes I know its too good to give up but will be more cautious int he future, but this can be spread even when using condoms apparantly so be careful. Ive had my three injections that kill the diesease but get checked in 3 months to make sure its completely dissapeared, they seemed confident that it will but just to be sure.

anhthang1712

Excellent reponse, Flo. You are a good friend of us and a responsible expat as well.

Hay lắm anh Flo. Anh trả lời thật hay.
Lâu rồi không gặp anh, anh khỏe khỏe không? Anh còn tham gia nhóm meetup của Bechum nữa không? Em chả nghe tin gì từ lâu. Nếu có lần meetup nào gần nhất, anh cho em biết nhé. Cám ơn anh Flo.

Christine

@anhthang1712 > you should please write in English in this English speaking forum. Thank you.

anhthang1712

Dear Christine, notice with thanks. In fact, I did write in English. I in purpose wrote some Vietnamese sentences to prompt my old friend Flo that I know him well. Btw, he is a French.

nguyen.tien

Sorry to say but many expats come here. Then, met "wrong girls", next, they think all vnese woman is bad. That's suck!!!

dainguyenhoang

Well, i think sex is a kind of worldly pleasure cause it is irresistable. There is nothing to do with bad or good sex but with purposes.
Hope you get well soon.

Caldc01

I'm planning on having whichever pretty lady tested for everything. Blood and Urine. Whatever the cost. Not gonna do anything with her til at least the test comes back all negative. Only issue will be her having to stay with me 24/7 an not let her out of my sight so I know she hasn't shlumped some other dude in the mean time. Thinkin maybe safer to just go out of the big cities an into the country. Find a decent village or two. I wonder how many ladies I will have to go through before I find one that is STD free??

NinaVamp

Caldc01 wrote:

I'm planning on having whichever pretty lady tested for everything. Blood and Urine. Whatever the cost. Not gonna do anything with her til at least the test comes back all negative. Only issue will be her having to stay with me 24/7 an not let her out of my sight so I know she hasn't shlumped some other dude in the mean time. Thinkin maybe safer to just go out of the big cities an into the country. Find a decent village or two. I wonder how many ladies I will have to go through before I find one that is STD free??


Stay classy, Expat.com...

perry88

This blog needs a sarcasm font.

NinaVamp

perry88 wrote:

This blog needs a sarcasm font.


If his reply was sarcasm then it was a little too good since a nice chunk of expats are that way here. :)

perry88

I was talking about your reply, NinaVamp.

NinaVamp

perry88 wrote:

I was talking about your reply, NinaVamp.


I had three hours of sleep, I need to stay off the internet. LOL

perry88

I actually thought it was a funny comment telling people to "stay classy" about discussing STDs.

freshair

Yeah, I read it as being sarcastic

jimbream

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/626044/thumbs/r-CONDOMS-PROM-large570.jpg

freshair

Is that a new style of candy.

jimbream

colinoscapee wrote:

Is that a new style of candy.


Actually Colin,
they are coloured latex mobile phone covers to protect from the rain.
At least that's what I heard was their only use in HCM.

freshair

Oh great, do they come in various sizes,like very large for those old big black phones.

jimbream

colinoscapee wrote:

Oh great, do they come in various sizes,like very large for those old big black phones.


Ah the brick.
http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/59/590x/03f23mobilethen-388974.jpg

Martin Cooper,the father of the cell phone.
The phone he has is 30 years old.

Oh,I'm off topic.
Be safe people,use protection and cover up your phones when it rains.

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