i fell in love...now we need to be together

hello! i know how it feels i wish u d best luck, well i have had some family members in same situation and what my american in law did was he applied for a fiancee visa for my cousin, that allows u to go to us to get married and then from there is easy, you get a green card and you can work an all....if u r not thinkin bout getting married, d tourist visa is d option but that u have to get it by yourself....nd about getting a sponsor to go work in us, is possible but rite now d economic situation in d country is going from bad to worst so i think that can be a problem.....my best wishes!!

Hello Jessica Rabbit,

Been there and am doing that right now. I know how it is to fall in love with someone living halfway across the world. And how daunting it must be to give up your life in SA to go join him. But trust me, a little risk in life and love will reap many rewards. I started a blog from being bored and jobless in Portugal and you can check it out here: diaryofaccidentalhousegf.blogspot.com. Maybe you could do one as well? Chronicle your travels.

Best of luck with everything! XOXO

I agree it is gonna be daunting.  First of all you have to have a lot of trust on your boyfriend as it will really be harder on your part in the end when things don't go as you expect. 
I'd like to know about his suggestion/s or what does he think of doing to help you come to the US especially that he is aware of you willing to leave your comfort zone just to be with him. 
He should be the one to brainstorm on what to do; well, I think.

In my opinion, yes, you should follow your heart especially if  your intuition is positively pointing to it.

I was in a similar situation - honestly, the best advice I can give you is to check out [no ads in your very first message, thanks] where you will be able to get really great advice on what your best options are.  It was a godsend!

Good luck!

Well Im sitting here as an Aussie in my husbands house situated on the East Coast of the USA.  We met and fell in love back in 88. It was the most agonizing time of my life to live without him without any contact for over 17 years but finally he called me back in July last year 09.  I flew over to see him....and we were engadged pretty much immediatly.  Now if we hadnt had our past, or wernt so much in love I would have bailed on the fiance visa...which allows you to enter the usa to marry within 3 mths of landing here....during that period you cannot leave the country...you cant even go into Canada...and you cant work.  Once married you then pay just over a grand to change your status from K1 visa (fiance) to perm residence....this process takes approx 3 mths before the immigration get back to you and in that wait time  - u cant work.

Prior to getting your K1 visa to enter usa make sure you have the big bucks cos you need police reports, full medicals, birth certs etc etc etc...and the cost is way too much.  Your fiance needs to apply for it...400 bucks, then you need to start your process once his request is approved...about 5 mths....when you start your process doctors cert etc is about 400 bucks, 450 for the visa, then police reports and fingerprints is another 150...then you need to attend an interview at the usa embasssy - thats expensive cos you will possibly need to travel get a motel...etc...

If I had my time again...and assuming you do plan to marry (i dont think you will be legal resident unless you do get married - well you can get a student visa or a work visa but good luck)  I would just arrive in the states on visitor visa....say nothing about getting married....then do a vegas out of the blue wedding...then adjust your status once married...and yes I was told that you can do that while living here...but its gotta be done before your visitor visa runs out....apparently....

Good Luck....and I wish you well....

hey guys...

just to update you (thanx for all the advice btw)... i did eventually opt for the visitor's visa. i got here at the end of july with no real plan except to maybe find a sponsor for a job which proved impossible. i gave up when time started running out. i'm now on the last month of my stay and have to head home at the end of jan. was freaking out about having to go home because as i understand it u have to wait a hell of a long time before u can come back to the states.

at dinner on new yr's eve i was discussing my trepidation for the future with my boyfriend and he just assured me that we were meant to be together and these things have a way of working themselves out. so we took a little walk in the city to watch the countdown somewhere and while we were freezing in the park talking about new year's resolutions he proposed ...

so i guess things do have a way of working themselves out. lol. he'd been planning it since november. the one secret he could successfully keep from me.

soooo now we're gonna have to discuss with an immigration lawyer what next steps are available to us... i believe i still have to leave at the end of jan but the stay at home may not be as long as previously expected and if it is at least i know where my future is going so, if u guys have any opinions on this matter then that'll be awesome.

thank you so much for reading and giving advice and everything. eeek!

People will disagree with me on this but I would just plan a wedding....and organise a change of status from the USA after you get married.....dont let immigration know what you are doing or planning....just keeep it to yourself.

the alternative is the right way....your fiance can apply for a fiance visa....the aproval takes about 3 to 5 mths to come through and then you need to visit your usa consulate in your country for an interview...then you can go to the usa for 3 mths only and you need to marry within them three months....then you apply for adjustment of status....by filling out a million forms and sending off $1080....mind you the fiance visa has already cost you and your fiance apprx 3 thousand already.....

can you get married in a registry office here before you go back and then plan a decent wedding in your own time?  I know its not too romantic to do it that way but in the eyes of immigration your married and they are just looking for a piece of paper....your ceremony can be planned around yours and his family when alls legal and good....I migrated the right way and the only person on my side of the family who could attend was my brother...the whole rush and date thing that immigration put the migrating spous through is really bad

Good luck with it all and keep me posted on what you end up doing

Quick advice get married before you go and file before your visa runs out. Its cheaper and easier that way. If you file out of status you could get booted out so make sure that you get everything to them before the visa runs out. Get an I485, I765, I130, and a I131. Dont forget your medical and sponsor. Even if you leave some things out just get the paper work started and send it. They will send a request for more info so start working on anything you left out as soon as you send the others off. The forms are for change of status based on marriage, pettion of alien relative, work auth and re-entry so you can go home for a visit and beable to return without problems. With a medical it will cost about $1300 US for all this. Heaps cheaper and easier to do from the states then from RSA.

Hi my name is marty.I been thru a similar experience!
#1 Go SLOW- The grass always looks greener on the other side-
make sure of what u are getting into.Talk to mature family members and listen to what they say!
#2 Then let him get a reputable immagration Atty to show he is sincere.If it's love it will last if not patience will keek you safer long run.
Good luck.