Hi there, i am writing what am currently facing after living 6 years in saudi, am writing this to share my feelings because i woke up that the world is cruel and only your best friends are there for you more than family.
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I was lucky to find a job the moment i got my university certificate but if i knew that my life going to be the way it is for 6 years i would've stayed home.
Riyadh is wonderful and have everything we need except finding a friend from the opposite sex, between my work and getting home tired and being able to drive freely wherever i don't have a chance, even if i was able to go out there is no chance of making new friend with such shy-social approach, many times i had to be the one who starts talking but people are just shy or scared of religious police.
I always dreamed of meeting different people and having them friends and one of them my soul mate but while am here all my friends got married and this year the last one of my college friends is having a baby which leave me the only one single.
Well what can i do in this situation ? Usually with such country rules, parents are the ones who go for hunt and find someone for their children , but in my case my parents are not helping at all.
each day i wake up depressed knowing that it's going to be the same thing: dealing with annoyed customers and demanding management, 5 years ago i had the energy to keep going for days, but now , the moment i wake up to go to work i wish to go back home and once am home i want to go work. it's an endless loop that can only be broken if i quit my job and came back to my country, but we all know that middle east is not stable and i don't want to die for the war of others, not to mention jobs are impossible there without a political recommendation , so my only hope is my 30 days vacation, but while we are short on staff and very replaceable: all my requests are denied until i pass 12 month after my previous vacation , but where to ? back home is too dangerous , and i tried once to look for someone and ended up with a cheater who wanted to have fun and nothing serious( thank you for wasting my vacation), spending it here is useless and going offboard would require a visa and alot of paper works, Annnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back to the loop.
I tried to focus on my hobbies , it worked for a while but then the empty feeling came back.
few monthes later i got soooo depressed that i spent most of my days working like a zombie and going home taking a sleeping pill to pass the day, then i tried pleasing myself with food and gained 5 kg of weight ( just to show i didn't overdo it) and now am running daily on the treadmill.
At work we don't have time to chitchat and my colleagues have their own plans and can't give their time to each other.
So i thought maybe a new computer and new piano could help me feel better, but each time i look at my room i don't see it as my own , one can't have life stability in saudi ( because only rents are allowed legally).
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In the end life is cruel , i am alive waiting for the salvation to come, i am powerless against my own life but i don't want it to end before having a family and small garden with kittens and flowers, i want to die old in my bed not by street bomb.
Am not depressed i became numb and barely feeling sadness or pleasure.
My advice is " surround yourself with the ones you love and stop caring about money because you could lose it instantly but the loved ones will always stay there for you"
Everything you need to know as an expat woman in Saudi Arabia
Dating in Saudi Arabia
Getting married in Saudi Arabia
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Moving to Saudi Arabia with your pet
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Childcare in Saudi Arabia
