Do you consider seriousness at the first time starting a relationship?

I agree with you and Vietnam culture

If they're looking for sex on first date, they're the opposite of serious with you relationship-wise.

The traditional Viet girls will do it the traditional way and the others will not .
Question answered

if youre a westerner you can throw out most of the courtship rules youve learned over the years.   its like going from American football to rugby.

People who think about sex on the first dates are rabbits.  They just like the act, but know little about the pleasures and responsibilities.

There is no Western or Asian  in the case of a serious relationship. People who want a serious relationship know well it takes time and they will wait with patience.
Unfortunately, majority of people who are on a date surely think about 'sex' or being a parasite.
As you know 'nothing is free'. A kind of barter system. Very few with a good family, cultural background only think about serious relationship whether it is Asian or Westerner.

Howie my dear, not coming back or booted out of the country?

@charmavietnam "majority of people who are on a date surely think about "sex" or being a parasite ""

Talk about generalising !

And where may i ask do you get your statistics from ?

Hi everyone,
Please dont take my question the wrong way. I dont mean to criticize people who think about sex or have sex during the time or after several times of meeting.
All I want to know is the cultural difference in dating between Vietnamese and American/Westerner couples. Does having sex show the seriousness (like most Vietnamese people think)? If yes, is it right to think that having sex after several time dating means those couples take it serious, otherwise not serious?

Seems to me that marriage is much more the goal here than in the west.

Something about the áo cưới stores on every block reinforces this impression.

Oh, and people who don't at least think about sex on the first date probably aren't attracted to each other.  Loveless sex isn't the greatest arrangement but I'll take it over sexless love any day

phanbamboo wrote:

Hi everyone,
Please dont take my question the wrong way. I dont mean to criticize people who think about sex or have sex during the time or after several times of meeting.
All I want to know is the cultural difference in dating between Vietnamese and American/Westerner couples. Does having sex show the seriousness (like most Vietnamese people think)? If yes, is it right to think that having sex after several time dating means those couples take it serious, otherwise not serious?

My limited experience. Sex has nothing to do with how serious the relationship is. It is meeting the family that determines you are in a serious relationship.

You know you're getting in deep when you get to the Lễ Vấn Danh.

My personal experience
I was introduced to a girl. We exchanged phone calls/emails which established our relative interests in each other.
Then we met going for coffee, driving her motercycle around the place and eating in restaurants and about 5 months later I went to her home town to meet her family
i am working in HCMCity now for the foreseeable future and going to her family's place for Tet and although we havent talked about it directly we will get married at some point. Maybe Tet will be a good time to broach the subject with her family
Our relationship has grown softly softly and I am very happy that it developed in the way it did
If it had been a European girl we probably would have had sex on the first or second date and missed the opportunity to get to know about one another's cultural backgrounds and value system.
I wouldnt change a single moment of it

Ashard,

I am back in Vietnam already.  I can't be thrown out of Vietnam, bro, [Moderated]!  But, I am getting ready to go to Hawaii, so I am really busy.  What are you up to these days?  Free for lunch, sometime, before I fly out?

I think Vietnamese women actually move faster when it comes to getting into a serious relationship than western women. When it comes to sex Vietnamese women aren't any easier or harder than western women. Western women just tend to be more open about their sexuality while Vietnamese women still want to appear like "good girls."

Parmyd wrote:

I think Vietnamese women actually move faster when it comes to getting into a serious relationship than western women. When it comes to sex Vietnamese women aren't any easier or harder than western women. Western women just tend to be more open about their sexuality while Vietnamese women still want to appear like "good girls."

You're the guy who listed "cheap women" as one of the things you like about VN, are you not?

There aren't many ways to interpret that, and none of them dovetail with what you wrote above,

I think Parmyd's talking about two different kinds of women - the pros, and the amateurs. I agree with him - the pros ARE cheap, compared to other places in the world.

Lol

Wild1, i still have no clue how to use the quote function, good to hear. Sounds good, holler when in Saigon and we shall do lunch!

Wild1, i still have no clue how to use the quote function, good to hear. Sounds good, holler when in Saigon and we shall do lunch!

Ashard Deen wrote:

Wild1, i still have no clue how to use the quote function, good to hear. Sounds good, holler when in Saigon and we shall do lunch!

Ad just push the quote button and tap Enter on your keyboard twice and start typing

Budman1 wrote:

Ad just push the quote button and tap Enter on your keyboard twice and start typing

Ah Thank you! good man Budman1!

In my opinion, sex in the 1st date is bad. If he really loves u, he will respects u and think alot about your thinking. He will be afraid of doing wrong thing and let u down. If he cares about the serious relationship, he will not hurry in having sex, he cares more about your feeling about him, i think. Well,  i'm sure u have already your answer, just confused a little. U r not ready for starting having sex with him, let's talk to him and solve this together. And u'll know more about him. If he agrees with your opinion, he already for starting serious relationships.
Good luck

Ashard Deen wrote:

Budman1 wrote:

Ad just push the quote button and tap Enter on your keyboard twice and start typing

Ah Thank you! good man Budman1!

You can also enter them manually.

This is quoted test

So in my response to you I "interrupted" your post to insert my comment with the second tag and then inserted the first tag to "resume" your original post.

There are too many abortions going on in present day Vietnam. Obviously, there are a lot of  VN people who are considering sex as a step towards a serious relationship. 

the views of premarital sex among the youth is changing even from 5 years ago.   easy access to the net is the major influence is my guess

If the government would invest more into sexual education we would have less abortions. Is it so hard to use birth control? In England we have FREE birth control and they send people to schools to distribute condoms.

When people do the step to be one they should at least care about protections. HIV is only one reason to do so.Come on girls stay away from the guys who say no. We're much more worth than a one night stand or a guy who will def. dump you when ur preggie

What happen to romance? The wine & dine concept ? Sending flower to her " just because ur thinking of her"? In this  world of email, text messages and mobile phone , chivalry is on it death bed. There is a big difference between sex and making LOVE. It all depends on where each party involved believe it us leading to. When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again.....