I need honest answers pls,thnks
Last activity 28 February 2014 by mydream
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Am a young lady of 25yrs,a Nigerian currently based in Cairo.I recently met a man of 56years who claims to be in love with me,he is an egyptian man nd divorced with 2 adult children....Am scared of being romantically involved with him for the following reasons 1. i dnt often see blacks marrying Egyptian men 2.I dnt knw if its save for me to marry him bcos of colour factors nd some other reasons dat might be......I rili do need some1 to enlighten me pls....i wait in anticipaton for ur answers,thnks abunch
Kweendior,
you are correct to be wary - spend a long time to get to know this man. Don't part with your heart (or money) quickly.
Thanks to this site I have learnt that Egyptian men look after their women. The true Egyptian gentleman will work hard for you in exchange you keep a neat and tidy house. If he expects you to pay for everything then please, please be careful. Don't rush into something you may regret.
on the whole, Egyptian men are good men - but the few bad men cause havoc.
Good luck, Chuckles. X
Thnk u so very much Chuckle,i realy do appreciate ur comment...i'll be careful
there is no problem for you,just use your intelligent dear.....you are safe
Hello Kweendior,
Don't let the age or racial differences frighten you. If you get to know the man and he seems really sincere in his feelings for you, and you feel the same way about him then just follow your heart.
I will tell you of my own experience. I'm going to soon be 65 years old, I've been married for 7 years to a wonderful (black) Brazilian woman who is 37 years younger than I am. I've never been happier in my whole life and neither has she. We have a beautiful 6 year old son who is my whole world wrapped up in one little person. I also have 4 adult sons and daughters back in Canada. The youngest of whom is the same age as my new wife.
True love doesn't come with a calendar attached so it is not able to tell age. It doesn't wear glasses so it's blind to color. Love is love.
Best wishes to the both of you!
Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team
Hello Queendior,
First off put race and colour out of the equasion, ask yourself if you are feeling love for this man, despite the considerable age gap, and cultural difference.
You really will need to have love and friendship in this relationship if you are to overcome not just the age difference but also the fact that an Egyptian man in his 50's will be light years away from you culturally. while he will want no more than a round of golf or a cup of tea while relaxing to Oum Kalsoum (legendary singer) you might be thinking about what you are missing out on, what's going on in the big world outside, you might want to see a film, go dancing, the normal stuff that girls in their early 20's do.
The fact he has two teenage children is also a concern. Is he seeking a surrogate mum, nanny, housekeeper? Does he have a cleaner or housekeeper, and are you prepared to do the chores since I have yet to meet an Egyptian man who is handy with the hoover and the mop.
You need to think about this seriously, marriage is not something to be taken lightly. If you wish to proceed I would recommend a Muslim marriage they are a lot easier to get out of as there will not be half of the legal entaglement you will have with a civil marriage.
Good Luck!
PS ...think about al of those lonely nights when you are stuck in front of the box while he's out with his mates gossiping in the coffee shop puffing away all night on a shisha pipe, when your pals back home are out dancing at a Beyonce or Prince concert.
WJ Woodward
What beautiful words you write, if only everyone had your heart the world would be a better place. I hope you always stay as happy as you are now.
William James ...what a lovely story ...I wish you more and more happiness for the future ...I agree age is a number and when you fall in love then you are in love ... nothing can change the heart ..
Elimay you are so right I have been married to my Egyptian husband for 7 years now and there is a 24 year age gap between us but we are happy and no matter what the future brings I would not trade even 1 day I have spent with him for all the riches in the world.
Mydream ... I wish you all the happiness in the world ..I have friends who are married to Egyptian men ,and they tell me they are so happy and feel protected by there men ... I have got several Egyptian male friends and I have found them very polite and honest ,yes there are some who just want women for what they can get ,but if a women respect her self they wont get what they want ... im sure you understand what I am saying .... Age . country ..should never become a problem if you truly love some one ... Good Luck for the future ..x
Thank you Elimay for your kind words, it's such a shame there are not more people like you and Mr Woodward. I wish you every happiness in your life too x
Thank you My dream My motto is if you cant say anything nice don't say anything at all .. I was born with my glass half full and I try to stay positive in my life ... however I have had my moments of doom and gloom .... lol ..
I must say I do love Egypt and its people and culture ..... My dream is to live there but ...I am retired now and to go alone would be to big a step for me so I just go over there when ever I can .... I can still dream !
Such a shame about the problems they are facing daily over there ,but they are strong people and will get a better life one day .. Inshallah
Mr Woodward and Ubdu are really nice pleasant honest men ... they have both given me support since I have been on this site ... there are still some nice people around .. x
Elimay's response is so typical of the elderly women who marry egyptian player's and accept and put up with their nonsense. Sure we all wish the original poster luck, but marriage is a huge step, and how happy will she be 10 years from now when her husband is 66 and in his dottage and she is 35 and looks back on the years and what she could have been, could have done.
Egyptian men please themselves, they do not put women first or on a pedestal. I have seen how they treat women. We have a player in our block married to a woman of elimay's age group, he has no respect for is wife, no sooner than she is out of the country than he has women lined up at her apartment.
Now Elimay would most likely blame the women, and not the serial cheating husband. I do not know the women personally, many are Russian but I am sure they have been led up the garden path by this user liar and chancer, I would still not criticize the women though, it takes two to tango and this cretin is cheating on a wife who has given him a business while most likely lying to other women and pretending to be single..
That bigoted thinking that you do not blame the men eveything he does is ok, so long as he stays with her she will accept all the crap he dishes out all of the cheating and lying, women of that age think they can buy a man, but you can never buy true love. That thinking is so outdated, turn the other cheek, is typical of a woman of her age. An age when the little woman kept shut and got on with the housework. Those days are long gone, we live in an age of equality, even though it fails to exist in Egypt. Egyptian men are the most macho self-centred selfish men you could ever meet, and this young woman needs to think long and hard before signing a register for what could be a life of domestic drudgery and boredom.
You are so right Elimay , my dream too is too live in Egypt one day, we did go back late last year with the intention of staying but it was the wrong time to try the move so we came back to the UK. I think one day we will go back Insha Allah. I hope one day you achieve your dream too.
Kayak maybe you should listen to Elimay and practice what she says, if you cannot say something nice don't say anything. Why are you classing all Egyptian men as being "players"...maybe you had a bad relationship but for every bad one there are there are hundreds
Of good ones. My husband is a lovely man and takes the best care of me . Every relationship is different so you cannot class them all as the same. Also if you had read Elimay 's post properly you would see she said she had lots of FRIENDS not that she was married. I personally feel insulted by your remarks and I am so grateful that my mind is not as hateful as yours seems to be.
Karnak may I just point out to you I AM NOT or ever been married to an Egyptian man ...I said I have friends there and I find them nice enough ... you know there are good and bad in every country ..men here having affairs beating up on the wife's and they call this being married !
As for the people you know ...this is none of my business .... As I said we are all different ..
The young lady has to make her own choice in life and I don't agree all men want to be out and leave there young wife at home alone ... yes it happens ! some younger women are more than happy to stay in the home some women like to go clubbing ,,we are all different in are ways ....
all I say is ..love is love ...age is no problem if you love some one ...
You have an opinion and I have mine and I wish every one the same ...Good luck ..
Thanks u all so much for taking time out to comment,sincerely,i am more than enlightened... More answers/comments will also be appreciated
Karnak ... after reading your post time and again ...I am now thinking you may have had a bad experience with an Egyptian man or maybe your listening to other women who have ! ...
You speak of women of a certain age ..I am that certain age group and do you really think I would part with money or whatever to get a man in Egypt or any other country ! its about self respect for yourself I don't need a man to tell me how beautiful I am ,I know I am beautiful inside , I don't need anyone's approval or compliments ....
I totally agree with Mydream ...not all men are players ...
You live in Egypt and have chosen to do this ...and now you have nothing at all nice to say about Egyptians !!! ..enjoy your life over there ,your lucky to have chosen the life ,many would love to go and live there with out making bad points about there host country ...
I wish you a happy life ...
Well said Elimay,
Karnak I am sorry if you have had a bad experience but believe me there are also totally beautiful Egyptian men out there not all are bad only the minority
My dream you should not tell posters what they should or should not say or whom they should 'listen to'. You come across as a very macho controlling Egyptian man.
We are all individuals who have the right to express our opinion. Our opinions are formed by our conditioning education, life experiences and intelligence. We can agree to disagree, that is the beauty of intelligent debate. No one dictates to another what they should or should not say.
Some because of their background and age will have a totally different opinion to mine, they are perfectly within their rights to express it and I respect that. It is a forum and we can all enjoy a debate without dictating to others what their opinion should be.
Hopefully the original poster will make her own mind up on what choices she will make. Love is not always enough to embark on a lifelong union there are always other circumstances to consider, the extended family you are marrying into traditions etc. Ultimately you cannot buy love.
hi there, i am south african black female and married to an egyptian for 11 years, he such a sweet wonderful man. It is not a color that makes marriage not to work, you said he is divorced i believe he did it to an egyptian woman, its all about how you people relate and treat each other, its all about respect and love, if these 2 factors are missing in a relationship, it just wont work, go forth and test the waters
good luck u can contact me via my email at zainab.megahed662@gmail.com
My sister also i want to point out that there is also someone, an egyptian man here on this sitem he is a big liar, he claims to be divorced with 2 children an i think that it is this man, his english is not that good, he once contacted me and when i told him that am married he said its okay we can just have a relationship because he want to have "sex" with a black woman, and i told him that am not a cheap woman, i am committed to my marriage and husband, and he does want younger women, i wish and hope it is not him, please contact me on my email that i gave you previously, i will give you his name and his mobile number, because i did talk to him before, I dont want you to fall in a false relationship. please contact me should it be the same "old man"
Karnak,
Firstly I am not a man or Egyptian, which, had you read my post properly ,you would have known. Nothing in my post was macho. Before you comment on my post, I would ask you to re read your own you are so anti the Egyptian man I can only assume you are one of the women you talk about. Also at no point have I told anyone what to do or who to listen too so, please, do not "put words in my mouth" If you take the time to get to know a person you will know if that person is right for you. I was merely pointing out that not all marriages, where there is an age difference, are.bad marriages. I have many friends who are happily married to Egyptian men where there is an age difference and 99% of them are happy. There are many more good Egyptian men than there are bad ones. I do respect other people's right to express their opinion but I also have the right to object to bigoted views too. KWEENDIOR: get to know this man, talk with him and discuss any worries you may have with him. In the end only you know this man no one else on this forum knows him. If, after a long time of getting to know him, you still have doubts then don't marry him. You will make the right decision if it is what you feel in your heart AND your HEAD. Good luck with whatever decision you make x
Kweendiro,
At the end of the day only you can answer your own question. You know the man, we do not.
We do not know your circumstances in Egypt. Do you work? do you have residency? What does he do? is he a professional? is he retired?.
You say you are unsure about this relationship, that says a lot. There is a saying..'When in doubt' do nowt'.
There is truly ery little love in the world today. Half of the world is seeking to relocate to a better life, escape from poverty, lack of opportunity. following the ArabSpring uprising, and various revolutions in Africa and North Africa and the Middle East there are millions of men and women on the internet dating sites all seeking 'Serious Relationships/Marriage Only'. Not friendship but 'Marriage ONly'. That tells you a lot.
There was an interesting feature on Yahoo yesterday on how 5,000 Brits are victims of internet scams each year, many of them romance or marriage scams. It is widespread.
How did you meet this man? online? Are you still in Nigeria?.
You really need to be answering your own question because you already know the answer
Every day we read more and more about Sham marriages, internet cons and frauds. Fake romances. Our Border Agencies need to wake up and do more to stop these fruadsters from conning and scamming and using vulnerable women and men as a means to a visa and money.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic … -life.html
You have a very shallow view on life Karnak. Maybe one day you will meet someone who changes your mind.
I speak from experience of marriage to an Egyptian man, as do my friends. Every one is different some good and some bad......mainly good in my experience. So judge each man on his own merits, do not class everyone as being the same.
KWEENDIOR you are the only one who knows this man you talk about. If you take the time to get to know him you will know if he is right for you and, if he is a good man, he will respect you and give you that time. I spent lots of time just talking with my husband before we married. He gave me the time with no pressure and we have been married now for 7 years.
I wish you all the best in your life and I can say with.all honesty I would not trade one day I have had with my husband for 1 million days with anyone else. Be happy x
KWEENDIOR.
Again in answer to Karnak 's post she must have forgotten that most Arabs are muslim so a relationship outside of marriage is forbidden. No Muslim man who is good would have a relationship outside of marriage. If the man offers you that or even orfi marriage then walk away.
Here is some great advice from Yahoo, posted yesterday. It reveals the high increase in Marriage scams and Internet cons. with half of the world desperately seeing to relocate more and more and turning to internet sites to deceive con and scam vulnerable people.
Is your 'lover' for real? Picking the wrong online date could cost you your home
Hundreds of people in the UK have lost more than £10,000 to the scam.
A heartbreaking new scam has become highly profitable of for gangs of cybercriminals - who fake love affairs with people on dating sites, showering them with gifts and promises for years, before finally robbing them of thousands.
Hundreds of people in the UK have lost more than £10,000 to the scam, which is becoming far more sophisticated with each passing year.
In Britain,£24.5 millions to such scams
The criminals often live abroad, conducting thousands of online affairs at once until one pays out, criminals often target older single people, in hopes of more profit when they finally defraud their target. Last year, one British woman lost £800,000 to such a scam. The love affairs feel real - the criminals speak good English, often pretending to be ex-pats.
Like real love affairs, they grow over time - the criminals often target thousands of victims at once, messaging each in turn - and the criminals often send gifts or cards, before the scam enters its final phase.
For victims, the loss can be horrific -£8,750 per person on average in tor more, with 49 people reporting to have lost more than £100,000.
Scammers often do this full time - they'll pan for gold among tens of thousands to find a few potential victims. It usually takes a few months to build up to the 'I need money for a kidney operation or I'll die' type scam. People get scammed because they're in love, and really really want to believe its not all B.S.
There's actually a double-scam that can happen when people finally find out that they've been scammed.
The scammer can come back and say,'I am a scammer, but while I was working on scamming you, I really fell in love with you!' If they want you to get off the dating site asap, that's a sign.
"The religiously inclined are targeted, as they're more likely to take a leap of faith. Older women, and they're looking for some sign of gullibility among people who are likely to have some savings. People who are generous, vulnerable, of-faith and fighting poor odds of finding a partner are ideal.
"It is the scammers job to get users off the site asap. They want to get into direct email or Skype or phone contact as soon as possible. That way dating sites detection systems have less chance of picking up on unusual lines of communication.
people don't use the word 'wire' in regular dating communications. That's a red flag and is usually picked up by dating sites' auto-detection systems; the first line of defense. But the scammers know better than to use that word on dating sites now.
Cybercriminalsi conduct conversations with thousands of victims at once.
"You can sometimes pick up phrases that criminals re-use, simply by using Google on their messsges.using patterns of language - such as the word wire for wire transfer Thats the single most obvious sign - being asked to open up your wallet after a few weeks of communication.
If the person has a Facebook profile with 10 friends, well thats a dead giveaway. If youre worried, insist on a Skype call. If the person you see is different from their profile, hang up immediately and sever all ties."
"Scammers will take months to groom a target. They'll send gifts, and make users feel beautiful and cared for, and then hit them with a test. A small request to open up their wallet..
The problem is, most of these scams are international.
"Call your local police department, and ask to speak to their cyber crimes unit. Notify the dating site that you believe that you have fallen victim (dating sites keep a blacklist of known scammers).
You can do some things to get your own back suck up the scammers time and just reel them in the 419eater.com approach some sites identify scammers put them into their own database where they just scam each other.
The Game is Up on Marriage Fraud says a Canadian Minister who will pass legislation to prosecute those found guilty of deception and marriage fraud, and not before time!..
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/department … -10-26.asp
Karnak,
Again you have not read the previous post correctly. I am not going to continue replying to your posts as you quite obviously are blinkered when it comes to listening to other people's views and you quite clearly have no respect for Egyptian men and never will have, buts that's your loss. I am more than happy with my life as are my friends and we are living with Egyptian men and if all you can compare it to is your neighbour then to me there is NO comparison. I hope one day you will meet someone who can change your outlook on life .... It may even be an Egyptian lol.
To you it may seem like bickering but I am speaking in defence of the hundreds of good Egyptian men, how can the negative comments help KWEENDIOR they are not balanced out by positive comments?
Karnak ... You keep referring to ..Women of a certain age ..... I have travelled to many parts of the world .... I have seen it all ..Men of a certain age with very young women ...
We all know or should know about scammers, and as I have said in previous post if You are positive and like yourself no one should need to hear sweet words from anyone ... and who n there right mind would give away money to a near complete stranger !!!
I totally agree with Mydream in every thing she says .I now take the option of being over and out from this topic ... You have your opinion and others have there's ...Have a nice life and be lucky
Everyone shud be patient pls,i can understand u're all just trying to help even with both the negative nd positive comments....U're all adults nd i personally apologise for the comment 'bickering like a 4year old'......Thnks expats #hugs
Karnak: I have never been married - to a European or an Egyptian........at least get your facts right. Thank you. X
Hi everybody,
Can we please talk calmly here??
Do note that the initial subject of this topic is I need honest answers pls,thnks and everyone here is giving his positive and negative opinions and it would be best if each member could respect the each other's opinion.
Also note that fighting will not resolve the issue of Kweendior here !!
P.S Some off topic posts have also been removed from this topic.
Thank you for your understanding
Priscilla
Expat.com team
I agree with you Priscilla, the members have now turned this platform to a fighting zone, please guys lets calm down and not fight, otherwise let us close the subject and discuss something better that will help me and you, things like "democracy in egypt" disadvantages of military rule, service delivery, maybe we can change something and get things going on well, you know what i mean
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