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Courting a philipina of a wealthy family

Last activity 13 May 2014 by Peter Clark

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rey0123

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boriloco

If shes sincere you are a lucky man.Take your time and make them proud.Learn of their way of thinking and adjust,only time will tell.Good luck.

dhnindc

If from an established family (many generations of wealth), likely means to be seen with her at all family events, including going to Church (weddings, christenings) birthday parties, etc.  Sponsor a dinner or party for her family in a nice setting. You need to be shown to her circle of family (including uncles and aunties) and friends for them to consider whether you are suitable match.  You would not need to support parents, but demonstrate that you can support her and your future children in the lifestyle she is accustomed to.

rey0123

thanks for the info. Sounds like an expensive endeavor.

FilAmericanMom

Courting or "panliligaw" is a Filipino tradition. It's done to please the parents. And parents have different expectations as to how a suitor is to court their daughter.  The best thing to do is to ask the girl you're dating what you need to do.

I think what the parents want to see is that you and their daughter take things slow.  Think dating in high school.  If she still lives with her parents, pick her up from her house during day time.  Tell the parents where you two are going.  And bring her back when the parents are still awake, maybe around 7pm. Be respectful.  You will then be dating "steady", and you will eventually find yourself easing into the family by attending parties and gatherings with them. Get to know the family. Remember names.

Don't be pretentious.  Don't spend money on lavish parties or outings that you cannot afford.  When they see you, they will probably be thrilled at the thought of having "mestizo" grandchildren..

They would not expect you to provide for the parents, because, duh, they're wealthy.  They might even give you funding if you want to start a business.  Consider yourself lucky if you marry into a wealthy family.

For now, just relax. Don't over think things.

rey0123

Thanks FilAmericanMom that cleared response cleared up things for me.

FilAmericanMom

By the way, a female with Philippine nationality is a "Filipina", not "Philipina".

mugtech

rey0123 wrote:

thanks for the info. Sounds like an expensive endeavor.


It would be more expensive in the long run if she came from a poor family, for once you became part of the family you would be expected to share.  As was previously mentioned, no one is impressed with lavish spending, but rather with your sincerity and willingness to be part of a very large extended family.  If you spend too much you could be viewed as trying to purchase her love.

James Mitchel

If she is from a wealthy family.  I find it unusual she would date you at all. So if as you say is true. She must like you a lot or love you very much. I have only ever met 1 American that married into such a family. So no help with the rules there. But if she likes you that well. I would ask for her help in such.

coreya

LOL You are so funny. What you think Filipina are of an Alien race. For the most part (except a very few countries)  Its the same all over the World when it comes to courtship. The Philippines is a Christian Country and you will court this woman like you would in the States or any other Western Country. You date, flowers, chocolates. The same ol thing. Trust me I know.On the other hand, you better have some money in your pocket or be on a career path to success.

kickintheass

I've been there. Happily married now with kids.
What I did was I befriended her dad. Had some man to man chats. Make him aware that you are a gentleman and will make his daughter happy and him proud.

-JohnnyBravo-

Hahahahaha....an alien race! That's funny! I'm going to call my girl an alien and see what she says!  hahaha   I'll have to show her this.

Peter Clark

I find that the wealthy families expect to have the lower classes do all the menial work round the house, drive the car and hang a picture on the wall.  Its great to have these jobs done by others but not all expats want that situation and prefer to do this things that would be an expense in there own country,..... suppose its a habit that they are use to.
I pay family members to do maid and caretaker duties but I prefer to climb around the house with DIY tools and do whats necessary.
The number of times we are asked, who's your gardener, or landscaper, ...tell your driver to go this way etc. A weird situation for the expat who does all the stuff for himself in his home country. A rich family will have a cook also......
So the life style is very different. that's one issue with most expats that marry younger ladies from impoverished backgrounds and find it difficult to mix with neighbors living in a similar high standard property but who don't want to offer friendship with some one who is on the same level of their maid or driver?
The class situation has to be experienced to be appreciated.
We have a Uk friend in similar circumstances with a wife who cannot cook at age 45.
So there we are, try out your princess with your own personal likes and dislikes and see how she takes it because her expectations will be most likely be different to yours.

rp1147

Before thinking or marriage, have a good talk with the girl. Don't marry someone you can't ask about these things. She should be able to tell you what is expected of you, or find out.

Peter Clark

There are people you can love and there are people who you can live with.........not always the same.
When the initial admiration wears off you must be able to stay together harmoniously and share what life throws at you.
Some guys married 4 times will say now that they just enjoy the chase or challenge.....

A life time partner is not always the person you fall in love with.

My divorced mother of 65  found another man of similar age said her knees trembled on first meeting...ohohlala

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