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Long distance relationship

Last activity 27 April 2015 by Rashmi1

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Rashmi1

Hi I m in online relationship with a Turkish who asked me to marry him however he is carrying two names with completely different last name and he is shy in using his nick name in public, he gets angry with me if I do. Does Turkish people have two identities?
Also he is muslim and I am Hindu and he says religion will not be a concern rather he can convert to Hindu. Can a Muslim convert into Hindu in turkey? Also can hindu Muslim marry in turkey without any hassels? He cuts off from me after we date and appears again. Is this normal in Turkish man to ignore? I am unhappy in marriage and have kids and he is a bachelor.

JengoIST

Answers to your questions;

1- Is it normal to have 2 identities in Turkey?
    I don't know if you're asking this seriously, but identity is something you identify yourself. How can a person have 2 identities at the same time? This is a fraud everywhere. He is clearly married to someone else.
2- He can change his religion if he wants to for sure, there's no law against that.
3- He can marry to anyone he likes.
4- Is it normal in Turkish man to ignore? What kind of a question is this? It's like asking ”Is it normal for Hindu men rape in India?”. Inappropriate...

I don't know who are you talking about and I don't know you. It seems like he's already married and you're way too ingenuous to have a distant relationship. You're already unhappily married, literally cheating on your husband, and asking these nonsense questions.

Do not send money, or change your life plans for him until you meet him in person in your own habitat for a while.

Cheers

Rashmi1

Thanks brother, when I asked does Turkish man ignores I meant to ask culturally are men reserved, anyways I  not cheating on my husband he clearly knows I Am Unhappy......you just need to answer the question not to abuse anyone here.

Thanks for reply.

Rashmi1

I am still puzzled why would he tell me his another name if this is fraud. If he has been married he should hide his name but I can see all his family and friends, I don't see anyone mentioning anything about his marriage, however he does not like me writing his other name on his profile. Sure I am not going to trust but he looks very genuine but hesitant.

Is it possible to have nick name or given name with different last name in turkey? How can I find out if he was married with his one name and he changed his name then, is there anyway?

irene366

Strange...red flag...in any culture...not normal...be careful

James

Hello Rashmi1,

First of all, how do you know ANY of the names he's given you are his real identity? That's the real danger of internet relationships; a person can be anything or anybody they want to be. There are so many fakers out there that it's almost impossible to separate the frauds from the real thing.

The mere fact that he has two different identities (may have even more that you aren't aware of yet) is a big red flag waving right under your nose. This is not common and not "acceptable" in any society. The fact that he gets angry if you publicly mention ANY of those identities is a very strong signal that he has others and doesn't want any of his other "targets" to know what those identities are. Clearly that is exactly what you are here... a TARGET and nothing else.

Given the dangers of the internet, how in the world can you take seriously anyone willing to propose marriage to someone, via internet, that they've never laid eyes on before? Does that really sound reasonable? Of course it doesn't!

If you've got doubts now, even before you've actually met, just imagine how many more you're going to have over time.

ADVICE:  Turn and run in the opposite direction, as quickly as you can, and don't look back!!! You'll thank yourself for having done so later.

Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team

Rashmi1

Thankyou so much everyone I ll be alert and I had been very careful And I think he has a clue of my doubts so he is himself hiding behind the bushes. Good for me 😊

Primadonna

Rashmi1 wrote:

Thanks brother, when I asked does Turkish man ignores I meant to ask culturally are men reserved, anyways I  not cheating on my husband he clearly knows I Am Unhappy......you just need to answer the question not to abuse anyone here.

Thanks for reply.


Maybe you should first clear this out before  you are looking for someone else. Just saying...

Rashmi1

I asked him straight that is his other name fake but he doesn't replies n I have seen his other name has 10 more contacts on skype.

But his public name is real and he is carrying good image in public. Also he came with a marriage proposal to me and my background can be clearly seen online. I refused because I don't know him and he still wants to marry me disregard of the fact that I am Hindu and he is muslim rather he said he can change his religion for me. I find him so sweet only thing that scares me is fact that he should not be married with his other name like I read men gets divorced and change their names. I can see his mother sisters etc online everything is transparent except truth about his other name that he says is his nick name.how can a nick name have last name? That too different?? I feel that he is dating many online with that other name including me making fake promises about marriage etc. I am heartbroken really why men spoils their image like.......I feel like talking to his mom now and let her know what her son is upto.

James

Rashmi1,

There is not even any guarantee that the person you would be (or maybe even have been) talking to would really even be his mother. It is starting to sound more and more like all this is just a scam and he's not in it alone. I think you're right on the point, when you say that you believe he's got online relationships going with several people and making fake proposals of marriage.

I find it extremely unlikely that a Muslim would even consider changing religion in order to have someone of a different faith accept a marriage proposal. They would immediately be shunned by their entire family for doing so. This in itself is a big red flag screaming "VISA SCAM", and "FAKE MARRIAGE".

Turn and run as fast as you can, don't look back.... this guy is just bad news. Don't waste anymore of your life on him than you already have.

Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team

stumpy

@Rashmi 1 

I agree with James.

It is a scam so do not bother with him anymore and have nothing more do do with him.

Rashmi1

no I don't think his family can be fake and his real name is also not fake just his nick name made me so curious as I don't think two identities are possible anywhere, I have talked to a Turkish and confirmed that he can have two names in turkey in Islam but probably if he is hiding one then it could be that he is hiding his Islamic marriage as in turkey Islamic marriage is not recognized only laic marriage is recognized. So any Muslim in turkey who is Islamic married will be considered as single!? Wow!

Also in turkey a Muslim can leave his religion or marry anyone out of his religion they don't care. But if he is a believer in Islam he will never convert.

I don't think its a visa scam as Indian citizenship is not a big deal. Looks more like a hidden marriage case to me which I will find out soon. Even if he is genuine it's not fair behavior to stay quite when it comes to clarifications and that makes him look more fake.

Rashmi1

And may be that he is using his nick name in dating sites so he doesn't want anyone to know. Secondly i suddenly have seen same name in different site with 10-15 yrs older than me?!! I am doubting that too. He is also having Pakistani connections which could be due to his profession but that makes me more alert. I don't understand why every time something new comes up about him looks like he knows I will restrain so he is not disclosing everything at once. Frankly I am really disappointed with him.

James

Rashmi1,

I'm sorry but from where I sit it seems that your desparation is showing. What is it that makes you so needy and attracts you to this charlatan?

The deeper you get yourself into this mess, the harder it is going to be to get yourself out. This is exactly what he's counting on right now and you keep coming back for more. Time is on his side and the longer he can draw out the "hunt" (and make no mistake that's exactly what it is to him) the less chances you're just going to up and leave. That's why he doesn't scare you off by telling you everything. If you keep accepting the little lies, and his explanations for each of them then you end up accepting the overall lie, which is a very big one.

Do you really think that anything is going to change? Lose this character as fast as you can and go on to someone decent. You'll thank yourself later for having done so. You deserve much better than this fraudster.

Cheers,
James       Expat-blog Experts Team

Rashmi1

Thanks Brother, to correct you the word is 'curious' (simply as he is trying to make me more curious as you said) and thanks for your advice.really appreciate your time to guide. Regards.

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