Blending your own culture with the Arab...how far can you go?

I originally posted this in the other topic...

peacelovelight wrote:

So my question to all of you is...
should I ever explain to my ungrateful niece my intention and the difference between their traditional "give money only" as a gift and the American way, give unconditionally? Or should I just let it go? She probably doesn't even understand how much she hurt my feelings, but I would like to tell her that talking badly about somoeone when they were giving is just RUDE!
Thanks! And, not sure if I start a new topic here, but it is related...I am a very adventurous, active woman. I brought over my bike and was told women don't ride bikes. I am really getting out of shape. I now dream of riding my bike through the village...in a way to prove that women can do anything!! And that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this...however, I was told everyone would talk. So what am I supposed to do? Be locked up in the house like the other women, or be myself and show them that women are strong and riding a bike is completely normal?
Again, thanks for any input anyone has on this...

Allow me to answer With regard to your niece... It seems that you already know what will happen beforehand. So why to bring up and worsen the case (as this will probably happen)? Why don't you try to think of her as an acquaintance instead of (close) family, just to distantiate from her as you said, just like in the real world. Some people are worth your attention, others not. We all gossip to some degree, but making fun of someone is something totally different. I think that she must have understood quite well how you felt by the time your husband brought her the money. I think that they even might have talked about you for not daring to bring the money yourself. You've learned from this and now you have to act in the future. Maybe your husband will listen to you when it frustrates you again?

With regard to your other question... To us it is normal that women can do anything, but to them it's a totally different story. I probably would do the same as you lol. Isn't there a gym in the neighbourhood, or isn't there a nice mountain you can hike on? Jordan has a beautiful nature, it's a shame if you cant enjoy that. Or, is it possible to buy a treadmill for inside?

I myself have lived in Jordan since birth, and have hated most of the traditions. A few days ago, my father said that I have to go with him to my cousin's Tulbeh (the event in which her fiancé goes with his parents to her parents house, and officially asks for her hand AGAIN if front of other people) which I think is just plain showing off, and what will I get from this? Will I be standing there thinking: "Wow, I am so excited. What can she possibly tell him?" They are already engaged. It is absolutely ridiculous.

What is funny about this that I never myself knew that you had to give money for graduation around here.

And women DO ride bikes. I go every weekend with a organization called Cycling Jordan, located in Amman to the Dead Sea, where we pick up some bikes from the owner's house, and ride our bikes between the farms, and later on the road leading to the hotels area. Believe me, about 70-80% of the people who ride the bikes are women. Some are even covered up (only hair). I know there are other similar organizations here in Amman, and I see people riding bikes around here now and then. (Of course all of this is West Amman)

I myself have never even been in Irbid, or in any villages around Jordan. It really depends on where you live around here. In our family for example traditions are not that important, compared to others. My cousins seem always happy to see us, and I don't feel like all of them are just 'family', I consider some as my friends.

Telling her would be...Pointless! Mentality won't change, and even if you try to tell her that in private, she will go and tell the rest of them later, so they can all have a good laugh about you. Better leave things how they are now, than make it even worse, believe me. You can't change how people think easily, and certainly not when it comes to those touchy subjects such as tradition. They just receive it as it is, not questioning it in any way, and thinking that it is the way thing SHOULD be. I always say it is the thought that counts. And 20 JayDees is barely enough to go to the supermarket.

Jordan as a whole used to be even worse before, but things are getting better as time passes, especially here in Amman (West). I also was not aware of the only wearing gold thing. I never really saw my cousins wearing gold to be honest. And all of my cousins seem to speak English fluently, and even my uncles and aunts, though with a hell of an accent!

Seriously. Not worth saying anything. She won't understand.

Hi!! Wow!! So women ride bikes!! This is great! You mentioned that you go to a house a pick up bikes to ride. Are they professional bicycles? The light-framed kind, or are they regular bikes? I have two beach cruisers with gears, but the frames are really heavy. I'd like to come ride with you all. Please let me know when the next ride is...after 10-10-10 as my husband will be out of the country and I will be able to attend...I hope.
Is there a park where kids can ride their bikes...you know, one with cement trails? My kids have a bike and two scooters, they really miss the park...is everything in Amman?
Does anyone know of a park in Irbid?
Thanks!!

There are rides every Friday. In the summer, they change the trips to Madaba, because the heat would be unimaginable in the Dead Sea, as so we ride through the countryside. There seems to be Americans/Canadians, or foreigners riding almost every time, but most ride in the winter, when the weather calms down. I remember wearing a jacket in Amman, and then riding in my shorts, and t-shirt when we arrive at the Dead Sea. There are early morning rides, at about...8 O'clock, and there are noon rides as well, but I usually like to pick the morning ones. Sometimes after we get to the Hotels area in the Dead Sea, they would take us hiking through a narrow canyon, and go all the end where there is  a pretty nice waterfall, and all would sit down, and have a light snack, but they change routes every week so you have to be sure to ask about what are the plans for that week. Sometimes in the summer as well, they would take us to ride in the mountains around Dibeen, and Zay. It was beautiful, then the grass was still green.

The bikes are all pretty good, not the cheap type no. Mountain bikes, I think. Taiwanese, or Polish, I do not really remember to be honest.  You can of course bring your own if you want. The ride as a whole is about 15 JayDees per person, but if you bring your own bike it is 10, and if you ride your own car (they take us using a school bus) it is 5 I think, so you just end up paying for the food, and for the guides.

And yes, unfortunately all rides are from Amman. The meeting place is at the work shop which is located here:
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&um=1& … CBQQnwIwAA

You have got to call them in order to reserve a place. All people speak English. Their official website is:
http://cycling-jordan.com/

They also have a Facebook group, through which they can notify you about any upcoming rides through the Events application:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2376813356&ref=ts

I have always enjoyed their rides, and I always meet plenty of people there. People who are younger than 16 do not usually come, but once in a while I do see some.

There is a park in Amman where I sometimes ask my mother to drive me to, to ride our bikes, but it is kind of hilly, but good enough. It is still quite new so the trees are not really big yet, but the roads are in excellent condition, and it is located in a good area:
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=Amm … 26157&z=16

There is a also a Royal Automobile museum there, featuring the royal cars. It was the late kings' hobby. There is also a Child Museum, that seems pretty fun, though I have never visited it.

There is also Sport City here, which has swimming pools, and tennis courts. There is also plenty of room to ride your bikes. It is all planted with pine trees, and cars won't bother you:
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=Amm … 26157&z=16

I apologize that I could not have been of more help. I really do not know anything about Irbid.

Well, that is a lot of info!!! Thank you so much for providing links to all as well. I look forward to participating when the weather cools. I have a hard time handling the heat all dressed up in winter clothes...used to tank tops and shorts, but wouldn't be comfortable wearing that attire here. Hopefully we'll meet up one day!
Again, thanks A LOT!!

there are really no parks in irbid... i have expirence. but one suggestion is to go to the sport center... the big stadium across from safeway and run around there. i took my son there all the time to ride his bike. there are no playgrounds but at least there is somewhere to take them and get some exercise. also there is a swimming pol there for adults and kids..men and women seperate of course and there are sport lessons for kids i.e. tennis, swimming, soccer, track and field. we had my son (3) signed up for minni tennis. so there are some things to do there. good luck