My Love Story: my 'good' family vs her 'bad' family in Poland

Hello Jaky.

In Poland families has strong bond so it may be difficult to convince your girl that her family is bad.
If you really love he, try to understand why they are as they are. Maybe they are not bad, just shocking for you. What does it mean "bad" in the end. Somebody who murder other people is bad. Stripper....her body.

Secondly, you would marry her, not her family. Although the bonds are usually strong, maybe she sees the shortcomings and disagree with them anyway. Did you ask?

Third, if you say that your family will force you to break with girl only because somebody (not her) in her family doesn't match their expectations, I am not sure, that your family is really good. And listen to yourself: you do not like her bond with the family, but your family would have massive influence on you and you do not question that...

I agree with Marzenna completely... you're going to marry the girl, not her family. She may well be completely different than the rest of the family is, so you'd be missing the chance at a wonderful life together if you simply write her off because of her disfunctional family. You can't blame her for her family, you can only hold her responsible for HERSELF and her own actions.

Don't rush into marriage, take your time to find out everything you can about her, become a good observer and make your decisions base on what you see as her qualities and defects. Then decide what your next steps would be. If things work out and you wind up getting married, that's great. If things don't work out so well and you ultimately decide she's not your soulmate and future bride material, that's ok too, you've had the benefit of an enjoyable relationship while it lasted.

As far as the famly goes, just keep your distance and avoid any confrontation or unpleasant situations with them. They may be a bunch of losers, but who knows?  Perhaps she's that previously undiscovered diamond in the rough that will make you the richest man on earth.

Cheers,
James        Expat-blog Experts Team

Have nothing to add, I agree with the posts above.

Hallo Jaky007,
kommt deine Familie nicht vielleicht aus Oberschlesien?
In my opinion, you should TALK to your girlfriend about the doubts that you have. If my sister-in-law was a stripper or a prostitute, I would not be very happy, but would it influence my relationship with my girlfriend/wife? Well, it depends on whether the "bad" sister lived next door, invited her customers to our apartment or gossip about us in the city. I think you should explain the situation, namely ask your GF if her sister's job and her family will have a strong influence over you in the future. For example, will you financially depend on them? If so, you might be in trouble.

Second, how old are you? How can your family force you to end your relationship??? Do your parents choose a girlfriend for you? After all, you are an adult and you can choose your spouse yourself. Unless, of course, you financially depend on your parents.

Alles Gute!
Matthias

That was not a problem solving.. and as you seek opinion publicly,I can say that,you're not marrying the Family, only the Girl that beats your heart.,in one year you knew her so well,what her sister doing to earn for a living or messing her own life is her decision...and not connected to your gf,it doesn't mean that if your siblings you're same in  attitude ... Goodluck to you...only you can decides about it,one thing I can say is,marriage is not a piece of food that if you put into your mouth and its hot,you can easily vomit it...and if you relly love her,you will take all the risk to  show her your honesty and respect...God bless !!

Don't get me wrong, but why are you so judgmental about your fiancees sister? A lot of girls end up in this "business" without having a choice really - being "forced" in some way or other.

There are many sad stories like this. I don't think there are many women around who would willingly choose the mentioned profession because it's their "dream job" or so.

Apart from that, agree with previous members.

You marry the girl you love. Not her family/sister.

If your family doesn't agree, I can imagine it creates a lot of pressure for you. However, chosing to marry, means to be a man and to stand for your choice and your way in life with the woman you wanna be with. If your family can't respect this, it's their problem. My 2 cents.