Depression, Homesickness and Loneliness, How did you deal with it?

That's a tough one, given the circumstances. 

The first thing she needs to do is spend a little time each day working for something better.  That is; looking for a new job.  I know that jobs for Filipinas can come in many different guises.  Some have more freedom than others.  She should spend (minimum) 5 minutes per day searching, enquiring and/or networking to see what else she can find.  This will let her worry bug rest a little, since she's doing "something" to improve her situation. 

Secondly, she MUST get some sunshine every day - even if it means just sitting outside her room on the grounds and soaking in 10 minutes of the sun rays.  It's hot in Dammam and all that, but lack of sunlight on the skin DOES indeed add to, bring on and exacerbate depression.

Thirdly, she might consider some yoga, running in place or any other type of exercise.  To fight off feelings of being miserable there really is no better (direct) thing you can do than get active!  Even if it's only for 10 mins at first.  That's better than nothing. 

Next, she's in a very daunting position right now, so it's extremely important that she watches what she eats.  Some comfort foods here and there are necessary, but sidling up with a huge bag of doritos and a 2L of coke will NOT make her feel better in the long run.  Go for LOTS of dark green, leafy vegetables, some low sugar fruits, lean meats, eggs, nuts and seeds.  Try to take it easy on whole dairy, sugar, additives, carbohydrates and preservatives.  All of that quick-heat freezer food might feel good going down, but it WILL add to the feelings of misery.

FInally, tell her to VISUALIZE better things.  Life never stops changing.  She won't be in this spot forever.  Think about and FEEL better times.  Take time with this step.  Start with times in the past that she's already experienced and move on to future plans, ideas, thoughts, wishes and dreams.

There's plenty of info. out there on the net regarding how you can fight these negative feelings.  Read about them - read about other's struggles and how they overcame them.  Remind yourself that it isn't really so bad - and could be much worse.  It certainly IS worse for many around the world. 

Finally, stay in close touch with family and friends.  Chin up and be responsible for creating your own happiness.  No one else will. 

Good luck to her and you   

Those are great advises. You're right about the sunshine but it isn't possible since they aren't allowed to go out.
All the rest, I could tell her to do..

But what do you think could I say to her to actually cheer her up? I'm not a good conversationalist and I feel like I'm making her more sad and the talk just ends up being awkward. (I'm a clinically diagnosed introvert, I suck at small talk and talking to people)

Thank you so much for all of your help. You have been most helpful.

iaminriyadh wrote:

You're right about the sunshine but it isn't possible since they aren't allowed to go out.

Not possible to step outside her door?  She really needs to be creative.  There is nowhere inside her enclosure where she can soak in a little sun (without actually leaving out the front gate)?

I'm sorry.  There's not a whole lot anyone can say or do.  She's going to have to take responsibility for this situation she has gotten herself into and do something about it (or at least TRY).  Trying always leads to something.  Or don't, and languish further.  Sorry, that's the reality.  If she's truly depressed than everyone's words will sounds like a weak cliche.'

You could, however... -reiterate some of these ideas, repeat them a bit to her, send her SMS / email reminders to check on her progress, LISTEN to her and research other ways, stories, ideas from other people and send her links.

Just be there.

On a clinical note, if she's having any disturbing or self-destructive thoughts she MUST SEE a doctor ASAP!  Psychiatry may have some shortcomings here in the Kingdom, but it is NOT unheard of and there are some reputable shrinks around.

Barring that, it won't be easy to do all of these things if she is depressed as hopelessness and extreme fatigue are both common traits.

She needs to get her selenium levels up.

The following foods are generally considered good sources of selenium:

Brazil Nuts     
Sunflower Seeds
Fish (tuna, halibut, sardines, flounder, salmon)
Shellfish (oysters, mussels, shrimp, clams, scallops)
Meat (Beef, liver, lamb, pork)
Poultry (chicken, turkey)
Eggs
Mushrooms (button, crimini, shiitake)
Grains (wheat germ, barley, brown rice, oats)
Onions

http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/ … enium.html

ReLLeK wrote:

On a clinical note, if she's having any disturbing or self-destructive thoughts she MUST SEE a doctor ASAP! l

I don't think she has suicidal tendencies. Oh God, I hope not.

If it is not because of my family i would just stay in Philippines, but because of them i had been able to over come home sickness.and loneliness.

noyp wrote:

If it is not because of my family i would just stay in Philippines, but because of them i had been able to over come home sickness.and loneliness.

That's so sweet. Do you talk to your family often?

She has to stay in her room which doesn't have any windows?? That sounds like a very bad prison cell, especially if the a/c isn't very good.

Sadly.

I actually experiencing the same as your friend, so I bought a new laptop and internet connection as well so I can do a lot of things in the internet such as movies, games and the most valuable is being connected to your love ones in the Philippines via skype or any other apps that can make video calls. but still I feel empty so I bought a play station 4 to make myself more busy when I'm at home.

My advice is try to make your self busy.
God  bless

iaminriyadh wrote:

noyp wrote:

If it is not because of my family i would just stay in Philippines, but because of them i had been able to over come home sickness.and loneliness.

That's so sweet. Do you talk to your family often?

Yes I do...

It sounds maybe strange to others, but for me it was the Qor'aan! Listening/reading the Qor'aan really ' fixed'  the tightness that I felt in my heart. Especially the chapter of Prophet Youssef (Joseph). If you see what he has experienced, then all the stress and depressing feelings that you have will fade away. Good luck!

This verse from the Qor'aan really struck me:

"And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life."

It sounds horrible! 😯

Get the Pinoy channels on TV and watch a lot....

Dear ?,

I know a Filipino friend who works in of Riyadh large hospitals. She is a member of some sports clubs of Filipinos community. She is very happy and enjoying her time as well as the rest of her colleagues.

I would suggest to your friend, to find or form some sort of activity club or group in order to have internal/external activities to keep them busy with the punch of most liked activities. I don't think the management of the hospital she works with will mind or object on this idea. But they must be smart while selling their idea to the hospital management.

Good luck!

I have read all the above lots of them has great advices, I think having social life is the most important thing, she can take a vacation and go to Bahrain with her friends from time to time it's a two days she can do some shopping have fun and return back its nearly a 2-3 hrs journey from Dammam, also Philipene women i see them most of time moving together.

She just need good friends and more social life in order to overcome these life

Thanks,

Well, if she needs more friends specialty those who live in KSA, please let her contact me.

Thanks.

I worked in Riyadh for 18months as a Civil Engineer with Aramco at KAPSARC in 2012....I had my freedom as a man but I was not happy.
I went back for another contract based in Dammam this March...back home in the UK now.
If I was a women Nurse...stay away from the KSA.
***

I've been to the Phillipines...beautiful Islands & freedom 😎

the problem with KSA is that they treat expat like slaves.  I thought we go there looking for job and they want our skill.  Why refusing people to go outside and socialise with friends?  Do they not understand Maslow Hierarchy of needs?
My advice is to hook up with as many people as possible, attend party.

Mothopo01 wrote:

the problem with KSA is that they treat expat like slaves.  I thought we go there looking for job and they want our skill.  Why refusing people to go outside and socialise with friends?  Do they not understand Maslow Hierarchy of needs?
My advice is to hook up with as many people as possible, attend party

All your advices made sense.