How to make friends in Hungary

Oh, I guess that (again) depends on where you are at.
I know for one thing that Expats in Budapest now do regular meetings once a month, feel free to contact me if you would like to know more about it.

Suggestions in meeting locals? Go to the next Bar and just "talk" with a few people. They are usually friendly and open enough and will communicate with you no matter what language you speak.
Most Hungarians talk to me now in Hungarian, even if they know I don't understand many words, but we always manage to sort of understand each other

Major tip, just be open. If you look around you, I'm sure you will see enough people that like to get in touch with you and get to know you, no matter if Expat or Local.

nice to know this

i like to start from online frienship

If you have a hobby, it's a good way to meet people.

I met many nice Hungarian ladies at a gym.

My son met Hungarian friends at a English language club years ago.

nice to know this
i like to start from online frienship
-@jajjay

Do you live in Hungary?

nice to know this
i like to start from online frienship
-@jajjay

Hello jajjay,

Welcome to expat.com!

Are you already in Hungary?

Cheers,

Yoginee

Expat.com team

nice to know this
i like to start from online frienship
-@jajjay

Sometimes people are different in person then their online personalities.

Example:

About a decade ago when we felt we had energy for such things I befriended a teenage girl online.

She was born in the US but her grandparents lived outside of Budapest on a farm and she was on holiday staying with them.

She was bored outta her mind.

She had a bus pass to come into the city but didn't know where to go or what to see.

Her Hungarian was limited as well and her grandparents only spoke Hungarian.

Strange situation for her, think she was 17?

I talked it over with my husband and we didn't see any problem escorting her around the city when something was going on. There used to be many free music events and such throughout the summer months.

She seemed like a very smart and colorful young lady who was open to going with us to different places.

We made arragements to meet her and her grandfather at a public place so they could see us and know we weren't like human trafficers or something too very strange.

Wanted them to feel safe with us and know as we were active seniors seeing things through younger eyes might of been fun for us too. Well, the girl was nice but not at all like her online personality. She came off as super needy.

She was very extremely shy and awakward. Made us uncomfotable to be around her actually.

We invited them both to our apt. to see where we lived etc. just in case we ever did escort her anywhere at a later date. I tried to cut her some slack about being so shy and inwards.

Next thing I know she is asking to come to our apt. at her convienience to use our wifi etc. and just hangout.

That's not what we had in mind when we invisioned her going to activities with us in the city.

We in no way wanted to just have a teenager hanging in our apt. eating, using our internet and getting in the way.

In the end I just cut if off and told her to make friends her own age...

So much for being foster friends.

@Marilyn Tassy

Agree.

When the goal is to have in person contact I prefer to move onto that quickly.

Off course just in case when we are in close proximity, so have no plans to travel into Japan for example in the near future - but inside BP yes sure.

As a matter of fact I more prefer the old ways VS the modern: just online - follow my profile/ etc BS. Mainly young females tend to be online only - like IG, FB... 

It's sort of sad how people are on social media all the time and not out and about being open to new people by striking up a conversation.

I know I met some interesting people by just chatting to a radom stranger out in public.

My son met his current wife online but he also took 3 trips to Japan to met her in person before comminttting himself.

He also had her visit the US 2 times before getting married.

IDK how young people meet each other these days.

Having your nose stuck in a cell phone is not exactly attractive or exciting.

What happened to eye contact and a smile?

It's sort of sad how people are on social media all the time and not out and about being open to new people by striking up a conversation.
I know I met some interesting people by just chatting to a radom stranger out in public.
My son met his current wife online but he also took 3 trips to Japan to met her in person before comminttting himself.
He also had her visit the US 2 times before getting married.
IDK how young people meet each other these days.
Having your nose stuck in a cell phone is not exactly attractive or exciting.
What happened to eye contact and a smile?
-@Marilyn Tassy

The usual place to meet someone is at work or when in university or some other organised place.   One can form an opinion of someone from being in closer contact than from a distance in the street.

I think generally many people are compatible with each other.  Waiting for that special person with love at first sight is just dreamland.  Getting into someone takes time and shared experience.  And it takes work to be compatible.

There's a thing that in an audience in a theatre the chances of two people having the same birthday is extremely high.  Something like odds of 1 in 26 - I didn't look it up.   

Maybe there's a parallel with that with finding someone sympatico at those sorts of odds in any group of people.  Possibly even better odds, maybe 1 in 12.   

We know of quite a few people in the age ranges 30 - 50 who are not with anyone.  Either were stuck in a non-working relationship now ended, set goals that were unobtainable or just didn't get the breaks.

It's far worse if in one's 50s.  Even less opportunity to meet someone than finding someone in your 30s. Time is against the chances.

It's sort of sad how people are on social media all the time and not out and about being open to new people by striking up a conversation.
I know I met some interesting people by just chatting to a radom stranger out in public.
My son met his current wife online but he also took 3 trips to Japan to met her in person before comminttting himself.
He also had her visit the US 2 times before getting married.
IDK how young people meet each other these days.
Having your nose stuck in a cell phone is not exactly attractive or exciting.
What happened to eye contact and a smile?
-@Marilyn Tassy

The usual place to meet someone is at work or when in university or some other organised place.  One can form an opinion of someone from being in closer contact than from a distance in the street.

I think generally many people are compatible with each other. Waiting for that special person with love at first sight is just dreamland. Getting into someone takes time and shared experience. And it takes work to be compatible.

There's a thing that in an audience in a theatre the chances of two people having the same birthday is extremely high. Something like odds of 1 in 26 - I didn't look it up. 

Maybe there's a parallel with that with finding someone sympatico at those sorts of odds in any group of people. Possibly even better odds, maybe 1 in 12. 

We know of quite a few people in the age ranges 30 - 50 who are not with anyone. Either were stuck in a non-working relationship now ended, set goals that were unobtainable or just didn't get the breaks.

It's far worse if in one's 50s. Even less opportunity to meet someone than finding someone in your 30s. Time is against the chances.
-@fluffy2560

IDK about how hard it is to meet a partner when one gets older.

My husband is always teasing me about replacing him the day after he kicks it.

Not funny, he thinks it's hysterical. Hungarian humor or one of his left handed compliments?

Some people are not replaceable no matter what.

I once cut a young womens' hair and she told me she lived in Alaska

I joked with her and said I heard it was easy to find a man up there.

She laughed and said," The odds are good but the goods are odd"!

I supose the pickings are slimmer when one is older and has certain expectations?

Hard to get emotionally involved with someone who is in bad health or has too much baggage from their past.

IDK, my friends old, chubby ,Polish granny in the 1970's had a BF.

She came in for me to fix her hair once a week for her date night.

My other friends mother moved to a senior care home in her late 70's and found a BF. They  dated for years. In fact when he passed away my friend took his ashes and spread them in the desert.

My own mother had cancer, one breast, 6 children and found herslef a 3rd husband after she became a widow. She was in her late 50's at the time.

It's personality that attracts someone not youth so much. Some people are just too warm and carring to ever be lonley or alone.

They call it social media but it seems very lonely to me, chatting to perfect strangers and never really experiencing sharing or life outside a fantasy world.

My eldest sister was married 4 times... She finally gave up looking for her hero and became her own .

I don't know how she likes being a lone senior citizen but she is always way too busy to be on the prowl for another husband.

IDK about how hard it is to meet a partner when one gets older. My husband is always teasing me about replacing him the day after he kicks it. Not funny, he thinks it's hysterical. Hungarian humor or one of his left handed compliments? Some people are not replaceable no matter what. I once cut a young womens' hair and she told me she lived in Alaska. I joked with her and said I heard it was easy to find a man up there. She laughed and said," The odds are good but the goods are odd"! I suppose the pickings are slimmer when one is older and has certain expectations? Hard to get emotionally involved with someone who is in bad health or has too much baggage from their past. IDK, my friends old, chubby ,Polish granny in the 1970's had a BF. She came in for me to fix her hair once a week for her date night. My other friends mother moved to a senior care home in her late 70's and found a BF. They dated for years. In fact when he passed away my friend took his ashes and spread them in the desert.  My own mother had cancer, one breast, 6 children and found herslef a 3rd husband after she became a widow. She was in her late 50's at the time.  It's personality that attracts someone not youth so much. Some people are just too warm and caring to ever be lonely or alone. They call it social media but it seems very lonely to me, chatting to perfect strangers and never really experiencing sharing or life outside a fantasy world. My eldest sister was married 4 times... She finally gave up looking for her hero and became her own .I don't know how she likes being a lone senior citizen but she is always way too busy to be on the prowl for another husband. -@Marilyn Tassy

The formatting went all wrong.

I'm watching a reality TV show called Life Below Zero. It's all in Alaska. The main characters are all oddballs living right out in the sticks using a subsistence lifestyle - hunting, shooting, fishing. chopping down trees for firewood, running dog teams, washing in rivers and lakes, shooting bears etc. They could be living 15-60 miles from the nearest civilisation. It's 9 months of winter and darkness. Quite dangerous living but I find it relatively attractive to be out in the bush but I'm just a TV voyeur.

Some of the Alaska TV show people aren't particularly likeable. There's one there who ended up divorcing and I could tell immediately that was going to happen because of the way they interacted with each other. Another ended up in jail after lying to State Troopers. And another one seems to have some kind of isolation need - could be a personality issue or maybe autism or Aspberger's syndrome. All of them seem like they might be running away from something or rejecting life with others.

If I found myself alone, I don't think I'd care to do anything about it myself.   If Mrs F was the one left, then I think she should find some company.  The kids won't be around 24x7 like they mostly are now.  Our eldest is likely to go to Uni next year so be interesting to see if student life is anchored here at Fluffy Towers or downtown in student digs. I guess either way,  the little birds will have fledged and flown the nest eventually.  I guess the dog or cat will be the last one to leave Fluffy HQ.

@Marilyn Tassy

Homo smartphonus:

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/L-D2V9lnLZw/maxresdefault.jpg

Sadly not just the young ones.

About expectations/ delusions/ modern "mate searching":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYzhdk-z_RA

https://i.redd.it/4fnsce32pvn21.jpg

Alias:

Why it is no wonder that smart people search for "passport" brides (eg non infected ones from "third world" countries).

@Marilyn Tassy
Homo smartphonus:
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/L-D2V9lnLZw/maxresdefault.jpg

Sadly not just the young ones.

About expectations/ delusions/ modern "mate searching":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYzhdk-z_RA

https://i.redd.it/4fnsce32pvn21.jpg

Alias:
Why it is no wonder that smart people search for "passport" brides (eg non infected ones from "third world" countries).
-@sjbabilon5

My son was married to a Hungarian lady when he was in his early 20's. He had a misguided loyalty to Hungary and thought he had to keep up the Hungarian DNA by marrying and having HU children.

Sorry, no country is worth the BS she put him thorugh. Thankfully they had no children because she would of used them as a weapon.

He is rather smart, at least that's what we've been told over the years since he was 5. All the trouble he got into in school by being a rebel etc.

Used his smarts to make trouble and go against the system, hmm, wonder where he got that attidude from?

Long story short, before he got serious about meeting any other ladies he did his own reashearch on them. He studied their zodica signs, hobbies, family just about everything under the sun. Narrowed his list down to about 6 ladies in Japan went there and took them all out to meet them in person.

I swear, he had photos of each lady inside Disneyland Tokoyo.

He didn't wish to be, "fooled again". So far his wife of more then a decade is loyal hard working and there for him. Sounds like he was getting a pet not a wife but seriously she is alright.

My only regret is before he went to japan he actually had a sweet, smart, loyal Japanese GF. We even lived together a few times for 6 months at a time.

She might of been too westernized for him, not sure.

She had their lives all planned out year by year and even had her mother and sister come meet us in the US.

IDK, I think he could of saved allot of trouble and time if he had not been so aggressive in trying to find someone,"perfect" There is no such person.

Well actually Hungarian females on average no better than anyone else west from here - eg. most of them can be exported as biological weapon. Sure exceptions exist as in anywhere else but they are the exceptions from the rule.

Japan is quite tricky, many are just the descendants of Etas, but sure there still exist some ultraconservative lady with good heritage who is still raised in a way to wait her husband patiently siting near the door on a tatami and do not touch the dinner untill not the whole family is home, also btw if in the meantime an intruder turns up that get chopped into pieces as traditional upbringing includes that skill as well.

Well actually Hungarian females on average no better than anyone else west from here - eg. most of them can be exported as biological weapon. Sure exceptions exist as in anywhere else but they are the exceptions from the rule.
Japan is quite tricky, many are just the descendants of Etas, but sure there still exist some ultraconservative lady with good heritage who is still raised in a way to wait her husband patiently siting near the door on a tatami and do not touch the dinner untill not the whole family is home, also btw if in the meantime an intruder turns up that get chopped into pieces as traditional upbringing includes that skill as well.
-@sjbabilon5

So I am running the risk of upsetting people but my Hungarian husband always quotes some crazy old saying about HU wives.

He says, "You give them your hand and they take your arm".

I know for a fact in my son's sad case it was more then true, she wanted everything under the sun.

It's strange of him to say that as I know his mother and granny hold a special saintly place in his heart and they were Hungarians.

I glanced at the u-tube video about Delusional women, I think that attitude is very prevalent these days. Man, if I were a male, I'd run for the hills if these women on that panel were your average girl next door type. They be scary!!!

Modern people are different though.

So I am running the risk of upsetting people but my Hungarian husband always quotes some crazy old saying about HU wives.
He says, "You give them your hand and they take your arm".
I know for a fact in my son's sad case it was more then true, she wanted everything under the sun.
It's strange of him to say that as I know his mother and granny hold a special saintly place in his heart and they were Hungarians.
I glanced at the u-tube video about Delusional women, I think that attitude is very prevalent these days. Man, if I were a male, I'd run for the hills if these women on that panel were your average girl next door type. They be scary!!!
Modern people are different though.
-@Marilyn Tassy

I gave Mrs F my arm quite willingly.  We're like salt and pepper, we're different but we go together.   What's not to like?

Don't start me up on HU mothers (not you Marilyn) and their HU raised sons.    I reckon there's something very wrong in the way that many are brought up here.   It's some kind of attitude hanging around like a reservoir of disease, it seems chauvinism and misogyny lives on here big time bubbling away in the background.   We can see it in the behaviour of other people's (boy) children.

No, I admit I am sum what quilty of raising and egocentric son.

Tried super hard not to do so but it is what is is...

He also had a few health issues growing up which would make anyone with a heart bend and spoil him.

Only child, crossed eyed, bad arm which is deformed a bit and being a red headed child. Of course any mother's heart would bend...

It's not easy to raise a human without proper instructions.

No, I admit I am sum what quilty of raising and egocentric son.
Tried super hard not to do so but it is what is is...
He also had a few health issues growing up which would make anyone with a heart bend and spoil him.
Only child, crossed eyed, bad arm which is deformed a bit and being a red headed child. Of course any mother's heart would bend...
It's not easy to raise a human without proper instructions.
-@Marilyn Tassy

One's own progeny of course get top billing by any parent.

We've always massively praised our children of either gender. I have to admit, each has different capabilities and interests.  They cannot all be hyper overachievers. Parents need to be adaptable too. I'm grateful they are healthy and I hope can make their own way in the world.

Kids don't come with instruction books. We all have to wing it and adlib. But having had multiple kids, they are pretty similar until about 7 or 8 when personality really takes over.

It's quite strange adopting parents have to jump through hoops to prove they are worthy but parents having and raising their own children get no inspection at all!

Sometimes I see people and think, those parents don't deserve to have those kids.

Yes, some parents are too kind to their children and others are too demanding on them.

My mother basically raised us, our father was too busy with himself.

A real narcissit person.

Had a great fun personality but like my sister used to say, "He makes a great uncle but a crappy father".

All our cousins loved my father and always ran to him when they visited. In fact we, his own children sometimes were jealous of our male cousins because they got all his attention.

To this day my then 74 year old male first cousin in Vegas was going down memory land and saying how fun my father was.

My mother never mentioned if she had a favorite child or not but for sure my wild older sister got her BP up all the time.

With 6 children she adapted to them , she spoiled the heck out f her last babies but she was in her latr years when they were born and had more time to indulge them.

They never walked to school or had to help clean house. They never had to babysit their younger siblings etc.

Now I see they are sort of flakes and one can't count on them much to take responsiblity with anything.

Hard to compare people since I only had one child, he was enough at the time but now I sort of wish we had one more, a normal one!

Yes, some parents are too kind to their children and others are too demanding on them.
My mother basically raised us, our father was too busy with himself.
A real narcissit person.
Had a great fun personality but like my sister used to say, "He makes a great uncle but a crappy father".
All our cousins loved my father and always ran to him when they visited. In fact we, his own children sometimes were jealous of our male cousins because they got all his attention.
To this day my then 74 year old male first cousin in Vegas was going down memory land and saying how fun my father was.
My mother never mentioned if she had a favorite child or not but for sure my wild older sister got her BP up all the time.
With 6 children she adapted to them , she spoiled the heck out f her last babies but she was in her latr years when they were born and had more time to indulge them.
They never walked to school or had to help clean house. They never had to babysit their younger siblings etc.
Now I see they are sort of flakes and one can't count on them much to take responsiblity with anything.
Hard to compare people since I only had one child, he was enough at the time but now I sort of wish we had one more, a normal one!
-@Marilyn Tassy

I could list the faults my parents have/had but the time for talking about that has long passed. All too late and now, we're having to be the adults in the room.   We're in control of our own lives and we're in control of our remaining parent too.

I loved your sister's quote. She was clearly able to see the wood for the trees.

I think I can honestly say I don't have a favourite amongst my gaggle. Every one of them is different. Every one of them is charming in their own way. And equally every one of them can be really annoying in their own way too!

I am conservative, I have only ine or or perhaps two friends, a friend will do everything for you, bringing and staying at hospital, help you financially. I have many acquintances, very friendly, but I do not trust them as being friends.

In Hungary I was VERY happy with the acquitances, do they like me for personality (likely not), do they like me that I have money to spend (likely yes), they also liked me because I can play chess quite well (but honestly I have Alzheimer or Dementia, people will forget quite shortly)

Being a friend is a serious topic.

I am conservative, I have only ine or or perhaps two friends, a friend will do everything for you, bringing and staying at hospital, help you financially. I have many acquintances, very friendly, but I do not trust them as being friends.
In Hungary I was VERY happy with the acquitances, do they like me for personality (likely not), do they like me that I have money to spend (likely yes), they also liked me because I can play chess quite well (but honestly I have Alzheimer or Dementia, people will forget quite shortly)
Being a friend is a serious topic.
-@cdw057

How do you know you have Alzheimer's and/or Dementia?

What kind of dementia?

@fluffy2560 I do not know and I did not go for an assesment, what I see is that my brain is not as good in the past and sometimes I forget things, chess is a very good indication that my brain is not as good, whereas in the past I was strong, now I just try to keep my level (which is difficult)

Just playing with my routine.

@fluffy2560 I do not know and I did not go for an assesment, what I see is that my brain is not as good in the past and sometimes I forget things, chess is a very good indication that my brain is not as good, whereas in the past I was strong, now I just try to keep my level (which is difficult)
Just playing with my routine.
-@cdw057

It could be just old age

@fluffy2560 I do not know and I did not go for an assesment, what I see is that my brain is not as good in the past and sometimes I forget things, chess is a very good indication that my brain is not as good, whereas in the past I was strong, now I just try to keep my level (which is difficult)
Just playing with my routine.
-@cdw057

It's probably more like normal aging. Happens to us all.  I wouldn't worry about it. I'm 62 and I've got terrible memory now. I had a fantastic memory when I was younger and I was probably a "super recogniser" - I could remember people's faces from many years ago, even if I only saw them once or twice. Not able to do that so much now. I used to be really into details but now much less so (it might be I cannot be bothered).

Various members of my HU in-laws have dementia.  In particular my MIL has varying symptoms and also had a stroke a couple of years ago which seems to have affected her vision and cognition.  She's probably got vascular dementia or it could just be brain damage from the stroke. Nothing can be done for her. 

If you are getting lost (even in your own garden, 10m from your own house), talking about people long dead as though they are alive, loss of short term memory, forgetting how to even operate a phone or TV remote control or read a clock, problems with times and dates, having hallucinations, not recognising your relatives, then yes, you've probably got dementia.

Not playing chess as well as before isn't one of them!

It's an old joke and a little bit bad taste but in line with the topic theme, having dementia means meeting new friends every day.

I am conservative, I have only ine or or perhaps two friends, a friend will do everything for you, bringing and staying at hospital, help you financially. I have many acquintances, very friendly, but I do not trust them as being friends.
In Hungary I was VERY happy with the acquitances, do they like me for personality (likely not), do they like me that I have money to spend (likely yes), they also liked me because I can play chess quite well (but honestly I have Alzheimer or Dementia, people will forget quite shortly)
Being a friend is a serious topic.
-@cdw057

Nice to see you back online.

Thought you had enough of us over here and called it quits.

I had/have friends from years gone by.

I mean from age 11 to age 14. Still have 3 kickin' it.

It's strange to have friends that knew you when you had to be home before dark till present day.

Several have passed in the last few years and that is sometimes heartbreaking.

My husband's friendships to me all seemed more like acquitances then real friendships.

Of course I should not say that, what do I know about the relationships between men?

Plus he was riased in a different social culture then I was.

I know he was close to one guy here in Hungary but he passed.

One of his acquitances came through for him in his time of need like a real brother would do.

I suppose when at the time everyone you know around you is almost in as bad a situation as you are, everyone pulls together and is there for each other.

At the time all his Hungarian crew were in the same boat, all refugees.

If someone needed something they would trade each other go with each other, laon money without ever expecting it paid back etc.

One HU guy who has lived in the Netherlands for many decades helped my husband in a big way when my husband broke his arm and it would heal.

He was in Italy and in a village hospital that really was not equipped to perform major surgery like a bone graph.

His acquitance from the refugee camp was in Sweden and heard about my husbands issue. ( Heard it through the grapevine)

This guy just packed it up, smuggled himself on a train to Italy to see what was going on with his own eyes.

He was not impressed and was worried.

He gave my husband his passport and got him to Sweden.

OK , they broke the law but sometimes survival comes first.

How many people in ones life would not think about themselves and go that far for another?

Makes for a good story to break a few rules sometimes as well.

Abught 7 years ago the guy came to Hungary for a visit and we all met up.

They guy was still nice and all but they had drifted apart over the decades.

In Ca. a few years later, my husband reinjured the same arm. I was terrible. A bunch of Hungarian guys all lived together in Hollywood. We rented out apt. in the same building but we didn't have a car,We had just arrived from NYC and hadn't time yet to purchase one.

My husband was sent to a hospital for a few eeks in donwtown LA. A nightmare to drive to and a real nightmare to take a bus to.

I wasn't feelling my best at teh time either, a few months pregnant and just no right.

One acquitance had a beat up old car that seemed like it culd break down any day. He was so super nice though. Everyday for weeks he would ask me if I wanted to visit my husband because he was happy t drive me.

I mean howsweet was that?

My own sister lived nearby and was too busy to take me even one time.

Sometimes people are in you life only for a short time and some peple are there all your life.

Lessons learned from everyone you meet. IDK if some acquitances are really angles or just people passing through?

My mother had what she thought was a close friend when I was a child. The married women got pregnant from my father.

I guess everyone's meaning of friendhsip is different?

Friends for a season. Friends for a reason. One has to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince or princess. I guess some places in the world are easier for making friends and some are harder, but overall I wouldn't know. Most friends we have are those that we have for a long time and that can deal with physical distance. Only very few can deal with the latter.

I lived in Hannover, Germany for 6 years and I had a few acquaintances there, but no friendships are left from this time. I met an Australian girl in Vienna and we spent a weekend together. We are still friends after over 30 years.

We (or better the wife) have still friends in Hungary, but these are all from the days when my wife lived there full time. Family are the friends one cannot chose, but with a little luck they are there when you need them.