Life as a female expat in Mexico

Priscilla wrote:

Hello,

While moving to a new country and discovering new cultures is definitely an exciting adventure, everybody experiences it differently. It can be particularly different for women, in both positive and negative ways.

What are some positive aspects about being a female expat in Mexico?

What are some challenges in Mexico that women face, and what are the ways to overcome them?

How is a woman's role viewed in Mexican's culture and society?

Is it relatively safe for a woman to live in Mexico?

How would a woman go about expanding her social network in a safe way?

Are there any resources available for women to help with their expatriation (e.g. books, articles, support networks, etc.)?

Thank you for sharing your experience,

Priscilla

Being an expat woman in Mexico comes with many of the problems women have in any country. Here the attitudes are generally more respectful than in the U.S

In the culture, the women are pretty powerful in the family unit. It's fairly safe here if you use the normal precautions women need to use. I have had no problems with intimidation or the catcalling which are common in the U.S.

As far as challenges are concerned, people will assume if you are accompanied by a man that he is in charge. Women may like you or may feel you threaten their relationship. I had a neighbor who made a major effort to immediately show up if I spoke to her husband as I passed him on the street. So women can be territorial to the point of almost being rude.

As for expanding your social network, get to know your neighbors. I have seen no books or articles that I thought were useful, but then I have not really researched the topic.

I agree totally with Travellight. As a woman who lived here with a husband for many years, and now as a widow living alone (cats don't count) for six  years, I saw no change in attitude with my change in status. People have been unfailingly polite and respectful, possibly due to my age. This is also possibly due to my own attitude, which has always been respectful and positive.

I live in rural Mexico and sometimes find it challenging. One of the issues that come up is the closed society of women in rural areas.  I have been here 11 years and have found it difficult to make meaningful friendships with the women in my area.  I've formed an online group to help other expat women deal with the isolation of rural Mexico.  My husband is Mexican so you would think that I would have an "in" with his female relatives, but I find it isn't the case with the majority.

As far as safety concerns, I live in an area that is troubled (on the border of Michoacan and Guanajuato) but feel just as safe as I did in the U.S. provided I take normal precautions.

Yes S.M. I have observed this less than welcoming response from some Mexican women.

I would imagine your being married to a Mexican is a factor.

I have a good male Mexican friend who travels with me on occasion.  We are just friends, and yet when we visited Rosarito a few months ago, the wife of his stepbrother targeted me, getting angry when I did not agree with her opinion (One of the meltdowns was over my liking one wine more than another).,
She tried ignoring me, refusing to ride in the same car and finally asking me why I was still in Mexico.  Her possessiveness and aggression related to a man who is not related to her was stunning.

She really does not know my friend, but she immediately assumed possession of him. Her husband, on the other hand, was very gracious and told me I was welcome in his house any time.

So men seem to be part of the attitude.  You might do better with women who are not related to your husband in any way.

One thing I noticed when we lived in Playa del Carmen for a year was that I (a married woman in my 50s, but I take care of my appearance and am fit, etc.) got a lot of attention from my younger men (in their 20s) when I was out walking about by myself.  These same men wouldn't even cast their eyes my way when I was with my husband, but alone, I was fair game.  That said, they were never disrespectful, but would speak to me, smile, and look at me approvingly.  To men of this age in the US, where age-ism and youth-worship are rampant, I am invisible.  I found that difference interesting and not entirely unwelcome.  It is nice to be treated like you are still attractive and not just a senior citizen!

Yes, CaribeGal,

I've had that also. Biological age and chronological age are very different things. Also, 50's is not old or a senior citizen, that is all programming. You can be old at 30 and unfortunately many are.

Sometimes the admiration is flattering, and at other times it is not. I dealt with someone recently who wasn't really accepting "no" very well. You have to be pretty firm about that, no polite ambivalence.

Salud

I plan to move to Mexico in 2019 as a single retired woman.  Having lived in S.America in my 30’s I experienced overtures from men of all ages, many who were married. It became easier to assume they were all married and probably had toddlers at home. It is definitely part of the Latin American culture, just not an endearing aspect.

As long as it is just appreciation or admiration I don't have a problem with it, if it becomes pushy then I bring a rapid stop to it and in over 6 years that has only happened once. As others have noted it is respectful in most cases. It is also not disrespectful and aggressive as it can get in the U.S. I have never felt threatened here, but I definitely did on numerous occasions in the U.S.