Social adjustment moving to the USA

Gay peeps in the USA are pretty wild and spirited and frisky. You'll find a pretty hedonistic, no limits lifestyle if you sign on to social media platforms like Grindr or Scruff and commune with the types on there. Making lasting friendships might take a bit more work, but there are social outlets and venues for doing that at least in the more liberal leaning US cities (certain places in the Heartland and Bible Belt - good luck). Most everything is discovered and discoverable via Internet these days (e.g. community gardening clubs, social justice events, LGBT get togethers) like on Facebook or Meetup. But on the whole, I think you'll find American gays to be an accepting, progressive, and active bunch with which to congregate.

I think you are right, it can be hard to figure out how welcoming a community will be. The stereotype is that Americans are pretty friendly - the issue tends to be a frustration with follow through. Everyone will invite you out to coffee, but it's unclear how many will follow through. This has been challenging for many people I know in large and small cities in the US coming from overseas.

Smaller cities you may actually find a tighter knit community, albeit potentially harder to break into. For larger cities, there will be a lot of networking events, and meetups - these are good venues to begin finding people and if you follow through with one on one meetings it's unlikely that folks won't reciprocate.

Best of luck!

Good morning,

Americans will more than likely be accepting of your being a gay couple; but I will ask, why do you want to move here?  Personally, I would stay where you are and maybe change cities if you need a change.  People are always thinking that the life is grand here in the US; but honestly, life is very hard as our government has made it almost impossible to live without assistance or a degree.  Yes, they assist with food, etc; but the healthcare here is not affordable for the "normal" person or even a minimum wage individual.  The coverage is horrible and one still pays extremely high prices even if having insurance.  If one attends college to make his/her life better, the cost of that education is so expensive and the student loans will bring a person to the poor house.  I don't mean to be negative; but it's totally realistic thinking.  Good luck to you.

I have been living in the US for 26 years, in two states, in big city, medium size city and now small town. Moved from Europe as well. I agree with the other posts: meeting people is easy, making long-lasting close friends is near impossible. It is not part of the cultural fabric. You get invited at Xmas parties every year by the same people but do not see these people in between each Holidays. Having a chat at the store is easy, and superficial conversations at dinners as well.

Do not expect much intellectual conversations, or even lengthy casual conversations as in Europe. It happens but it is rare. I find all places where I have been to be very accepting of gay married couples, even in small towns. Not a problem - maybe an issue in the South? I don't know.

Yes, as previously mentioned, you need to be aware of the catastrophic American health care system - or rather disease care system. It is bad, really bad, and VERY costly. And if it is of any importance to you, the food scene here is pretty bad as well. This said, I would not go back to Europe. I went back to France, UK and Italy recently and I was in a state of shock most of the time. I was SO HAPPY to come back to the US where I feel safe, where the economy is booming and everyone has work, where the police is present and feared by bad elements (contrary to what I saw in Europe) and where I have the right to bear arms and defend myself. Here I do not have to deal with large groups of unintegrated and threatening immigrants as I experienced in Europe. It was scary. And no police in sight to protect you. Nothing like this here.
Good luck!

montagnehuit wrote:

I have been living in the US for 26 years, in two states, in big city, medium size city and now small town. Moved from Europe as well. I agree with the other posts: meeting people is easy, making long-lasting close friends is near impossible. It is not part of the cultural fabric. You get invited at Xmas parties every year by the same people but do not see these people in between each Holidays. Having a chat at the store is easy, and superficial conversations at dinners as well.

Do not expect much intellectual conversations, or even lengthy casual conversations as in Europe. It happens but it is rare. I find all places where I have been to be very accepting of gay married couples, even in small towns. Not a problem - maybe an issue in the South? I don't know.

Yes, as previously mentioned, you need to be aware of the catastrophic American health care system - or rather disease care system. It is bad, really bad, and VERY costly. And if it is of any importance to you, the food scene here is pretty bad as well. This said, I would not go back to Europe. I went back to France, UK and Italy recently and I was in a state of shock most of the time. I was SO HAPPY to come back to the US where I feel safe, where the economy is booming and everyone has work, where the police is present and feared by bad elements (contrary to what I saw in Europe) and where I have the right to bear arms and defend myself. Here I do not have to deal with large groups of unintegrated and threatening immigrants as I experienced in Europe. It was scary. And no police in sight to protect you. Nothing like this here.
Good luck!

Pretty slanted view here! The economy in the US is nearly on the brink of collapse due to Trump exploding the National Debt. Although employment figures look a bit better in the States what good does it do to have a job or even 2 if you aren’t paid enough to live? Tens of millions work like crazy and can’t afford a proper roof over their head or to have food on the table.  Underemployment and income inequality rather than unemployment is the major problem in the States and it dwarfs any economic problems in most of Europe.

And the quips about safety and guns are just delusional. Germany has taken in over a million refugees over the last 4 years and I have never seen a problem or felt unsafe because of them. There are a large number of Roma people (Gypsies) who have come into Western Europe since Romania and Bulgaria were admitted to the EU. They are almost always the ones one sees begging and/or trying to pick pockets and snatch bags.  Such problems are usually concentrated around a central train or bus station or pedestrian area. It’s annoying and one needs to take care but it is not like they are everywhere and it is unusual that they try violent methods like robbing someone with a weapon.

America is much more dangerous with violent crimes and guns only make it worse. The number of people who die by guns in the US is around 10 times the rate in Germany. While a handful of neighborhoods in some of Europe’s largest cities are a bit dangerous, they are less so than virtually any poor neighborhood in America. One doesn’t need a gun for safety in Europe. I lived in a mid-sized city in the States growing up and was attacked and threatened with guns and knives a number of times. Been even longer in Europe and never had a single problem.

Just another slanted (and very leftist) view

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