Where in the world to go...

Last activity 24 March 2019 by VANNROX

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joewest1802Member24 March 2019 01:42:16

I need advice, badly. I dont even know where to begin, literally. I can't settle anywhere I go in the world. I've tried moving to a fair few places, and it just hasn't worked. It's the same tale every time, I encounter almost nothing but unfriendliness and ignorance. I've wound up back in the UK and am once again desperate to get away from it, I find life completely vacant and pointless here.

The problem is, I've totally ran out of places to go in the world. Honestly, I spend my nights scouring Google earth like a Martian, in search of where to land next, and I draw a blank every time. The only places I even vaguely think might be good for me, I don't meet the visa requirements for. I've even considered moving to them illegally and working but it's probably a bad idea. The USA - They basically don't let people emigrate there unless they are highly skilled etc. Canada - I'm two years above the working holiday visa requirement of being 30 years old or younger. China - it's a legal requirement to have a degree to get the J1 visa, which I don't have. Melbourne - I've heard great things about it but my fear of spiders would make me a bag of nerves in Australia.

I know there are so many places in this world where happiness can be found, but I'm just at a loss of ideas, not to mention inspiration. I'm 32, British, Caucasian, male. I've worked at sea, lived in party destinations such as Ibiza, lived in Dublin, plus other places briefly. I've thought about teaching English in Asia, but I'd want it to be in a big city. I crave involvement and social success, wherever I end up going. I'm sure I'll be advised to try and make life good without having to relocate, but believe me I've tried everything I can to integrate and occupy myself in general.

I probably sound like I'm not a nice person, considering I've never really been accepted anywhere, but honestly, that's not the case, I believe I have so much potential, but have just been remarkably unlucky in the people I've met so far. I'm just running out of time, isolation is getting the better of me. I don't even know wether to post this on a travel forum or a mental health forum....

FredIndonesia Expert24 March 2019 05:21:55

28218

You shouldn't go anywhere until you find yourself - The one thing that is the same all over the world is you.

Master that little gem first, then look at possibilities

VANNROXChina expert24 March 2019 10:25:40

632

I do have to agree with @Fred.

There is something missing in your life, and you are trying to find that missing piece by looking elsewhere. I must counter that it is not associated with a place. It is associated with something else.

I don't know what that missing thing is. And, I think that you don't know either.

There was a time in my life that I felt lost. I was terribly uncomfortable and I had experienced a lot of stressors and a series of really bad events. I started to question my life, and all that I held dear and what I was working towards. I turned to my wife, and while she was sympathetic, she couldn't help me. I felt like no one understood.

The closest thing that i found that described my situation was this little tiny book that I got out of the checkout line in the grocery store. It was all about Men's midlife crisis.

It's a REAL thing. It's not some kind of "old wives tale".

Eventually, I saw a counselor that enabled me to talk about it, my feelings and my thoughts. The counselor did not "cure" me. They just provided me with a "safe" area where I could vent, talk and not risk any lashing negativity from my friends or family. The counselor helped me a lot.

Do not ridicule this advice. All men need someone to counsel them. If you have a favorite uncle that would be just great. Otherwise, find an educated and accredited expert. You need to talk and vent to figure things out. I found that talking to female counselors was very helpful.

Please consider my advice. I think that you would greatly benefit from following it. I sincerely wish you the best.

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