Retired philippine expat with a much younger partner = ATM machine

It is everywhere same in whole world. If you are 60 and she is 30 be ready to pay for it. In the Philippines there is many couples like that so it is more noticeable.

That was my problem too, although we are the same age.  His family and the whole community view me as their answer to their problem. I slowly build boundaries to what is and what is not acceptable to me. I tried to reject their request with a sprinkle of empathy to it. " Pansensya ka na. Wala sa budget nako na ron, wala koy extra kwarta ron, Suway-i ang uban, basig maka tabangang nimo". I offer advice and tools and often work. And if I do have some extra funds, I offer it to the ones who needed it the most.

gabuya01 wrote:

That was my problem too, although we are the same age.  His family and the whole community view me as their answer to their problem. I slowly build boundaries to what is and what is not acceptable to me. I tried to reject their request with a sprinkle of empathy to it. " Pansensya ka na. Wala sa budget nako na ron, wala koy extra kwarta ron, Suway-i ang uban, basig maka tabangang nimo". I offer advice and tools and often work. And if I do have some extra funds, I offer it to the ones who needed it the most.

Good point : "Wala sa budget" has been used by me many a time & Yes knowing the local language (in my case bisaya) does help somewhat.
But I also think that any personal expensive stuff just needs to be kept out of view/reach where possible.
Also the part you mentioned..."his family and the whole community view me as their answer to their problem" happens a lot here...I too now only provide the tools/advice on how to solve their problems & only give cash handouts to those in dire need.
Sad part is that many an interest free personal loan that I had given out to help family members has never been paid back or even acknowleged & when confronted its like they turn against you...which is indeed sad.

Some (many?) do the same misstake as a friend of mine. He did spend very much in the beginning, which made them believe he had unlimited amount of money by including hotels and travels he did spend 3 - 4 millions in a bit over a year!   It became hard to reduce to realistic amounts after that even with the rather good assets he has and rathet good retirement pay he get...

A - not friend    - fooled the Filipino family to agree to let him marry the very young Filipina by spending money. When they had married, he was broke...   

I do kind of opposite     I'm used to live simple, did spend litle back when I earned as most too. This people get happily suprised when I give something extra. E g yesterday I gave a cake, which they got happy for. They are hard working very good people   I concentrate at spending money at trying to add some work in that very poor region, so they get chance to earn themselves.
((After searching for possible problem solutions, slow because of officials, this week we finaly found out how it can be solved. We are checking if there is a "shortcut" start for a section of the business, or if we have to wait for the main permit approval, but we are buying the real estate now anyway to have the business at to be sure we get it.))

i always say to the new comer in the philippines,,,,no need to buy the cow for a glass of milk

mikebrant1973 wrote:

i always say to the new comer in the philippines,,,,no need to buy the cow for a glass of milk

I noticed you drink a lot of milk,

Any other advice?

Enzyte Bob wrote:

mikebrant1973 wrote:

i always say to the new comer in the philippines,,,,no need to buy the cow for a glass of milk

I noticed you drink a lot of milk,

Any other advice?

I have the advice to do opposite to what Mikebrant do   
or stay away from not prostitutes, because concerning relations with men the Philippines are as Europe and North America was 70 years ago  =Good women want to get married...

Omho....not all 'x' prostitutes turn out to be bad partners...neither do all deligent church going ladies turn out to be a good partners....I guess it all depends on the possibility of change & the idea of securing a better/brighter future for them as well as their families. Btw that applies to us too.

mikebrant1973 wrote:

i always say to the new comer in the philippines,,,,no need to buy the cow for a glass of milk

Another person wanting a glass of milk besides Mike, just go to Jobs listing on this forum to read.

Beautiful and Friendly Housemaid For Single Guy posted two days ago.

Read his requirements, sounds like things men are searching for on Filipino Cupid.

May look tempting initialy but no thanks ...as I just ain't no Arnold Schwarzenegger (one of my heroes) & I just can't afford any further high maintenance right now.

manwonder wrote:

Omho....not all 'x' prostitutes turn out to be bad partners...neither do all deligent church going ladies turn out to be a good partners....I guess it all depends on the possibility of change & the idea of securing a better/brighter future for them as well as their families. Btw that applies to us too. 

My post was ment against Mikebrant's attitude, not against the prostitutes 
I mean he can have that use and throw away attitude towards prostitutes, because they don't expect any better, but stay away from the good Filipinas specialy if making them believe he will marry them.

An other bad example type.  Many Filipinas wanting serious relationship are frustrated at a big part of men at datingsites contacting Filipinas or Thai womem - and soon ask for nude at webcam!!!
Even worse - A guy from British Islands somewhere talked serious with a woman, who is cassiere in a bank and is the only one who can support her parents.  This had been more or less hours daily during long time and the woman counted them as bf-gf.  After over a year she asked him:
-When will you come and meet me?
-When you send me money to the ticket.
!!!   

Such men damage foreigners' reputation     
But on the other hand womem find me fantastic by the comparing with such guys   
A rather big part of "My news service" about different parts of Phils are women, who I have told
- Sorry our personalities can't suit to each other living together.
And I have never send them any money (except once when a 3yo boy got very ill - I saw photos - then I paid the urgent needed antibiotics so they could finnish the cure so he survived. ) But I assist them e g with some research when they have only free data so they can't do it themselves, some free business consulting... They want to communicate with me anyway by how I act...

Enzyte Bob wrote:

Beautiful and Friendly Housemaid For Single Guy posted two days ago.

I don't know what the add said but my Grandfather was 40+ bachelor when my grandmother left Finnland to try to find a husband, because Finnland were very short of men by they had extra war by they had a civil war after WW I and the freedom war against Russia.
Grandmother left a work as secretary and went to Sweden with just two suitcases and some money and became housekeeper for my grandfather. BUT they ended up married...   

coach53 wrote:

Enzyte Bob wrote:

Beautiful and Friendly Housemaid For Single Guy posted two days ago.

I don't know what the add said but my Grandfather was 40+ bachelor when my grandmother left Finnland to try to find a husband, because Finnland were very short of men by they had extra war by they had a civil war after WW I and the freedom war against Russia.
Grandmother left a work as secretary and went to Sweden with just two suitcases and some money and became housekeeper for my grandfather. BUT they ended up married...   

Do you think your Grandmother would except this job if this was your Grandfather?

Beautiful and friendly housemaid for a single guy (ad posted by employer)
* Wear a sexy uniform
* Bathing and massages.
* Don't apply unless you're beautiful
* Fulfill requirements without complaining.

(1) As you didn't read the ad . . . . Click on jobs
(2) Scroll down to the fifth ad posted two days ago.

Any combination of couples run the risk of one being perceived as an ATM. The persons seeking charity can come from either side of the marriage too. The majority of readers on this thread are male expats married to a Filipina. So the view on this topic may be lopsided.
Anyway, we are able get past this problem by supporting education rather than sending money for food/shoes/parties/grandma is sick/gift$. If they are not trying to finish school and not interested in getting a job, I give the Schwarzenegger: "Hasta la vista, baby."
.
Well, it is really hard to get past "grandma is sick". 😁

They just test you. What they have to lose? They only got something to lose if they don't try. All you got to do is say no. Some people not strong enough to do that and once you show that you weak it's like blood in the water. No different from people anywhere else. Mooch is everywhere.

Jesse777 wrote:

They just test you. What they have to lose? They only got something to lose if they don't try. All you got to do is say no. Some people not strong enough to do that and once you show that you weak it's like blood in the water. No different from people anywhere else. Mooch is everywhere.

I think it's funny that you're using the term ATM as when I got here they tried that with me until I told them that the bank was closed

Looks like common sense, you won't marry a much younger partner in your country because they are not in need of money, you can just marry someone with something in common, that you understand each other like in any healthy relationship.

You can ask yourself why you don't want to marry a much older woman and get the answer easily.

BTW, married to same age partner, same degree of education, no issues at all.

My favorite moments in when i am at immigration, and i see these 80 year old men with 20 year old filipinas,  with a baby, and 500 dollar handbags.  My asawa and i are 2 years apart, and we just laugh.

Jackson4 wrote:

Anyway, we are able get past this problem by supporting education rather than sending money for food/shoes/parties/grandma is sick/gift$. If they are not trying to finish school and not interested in getting a job, I give the Schwarzenegger: "Hasta la vista, baby."
.
Well, it is really hard to get past "grandma is sick". 😁

Hard what to do when grandmother REALY is serious ill  (I don't send anything at distance so I could be there to see)
but I DON'T go for education, because high educated poor have problem to get good work in Phils too by nepotism,
I go for adding work in business I start or Help-to-self-help projects for family, which I will try to keep living at distance      so they don't come at suprise visits often.

Jesse777 wrote:

They just test you. What they have to lose? They only got something to lose if they don't try.

Well. If they do it before marriage, then they can lose the chance to marriage   
E g a friend of mine had promised the family to hius gf he will make a house much closer to airport, one storey for the family and one storey for him and wife when they are in Phils.  His last visit before the marriage, the family had ordered TEN pigs to a party even without asking him at all, expecting him to pay a big party. That made him so angry so he skiped that woman and family...

Jesse777 wrote:

All you got to do is say no. Some people not strong enough to do that and once you show that you weak it's like blood in the water. .

Many foreigners do the misstake to give to much in startup, making it much harder to reduce later.   A Canadian even spend so much so he was broke when he had fooled the Filipino family to let him marry a very young Filipina 

DalamarSan wrote:

Looks like common sense, you won't marry a much younger partner in your country because they are not in need of money, you can just marry someone with something in common, that you understand each other like in any healthy relationship.
BTW, married to same age partner, same degree of education, no issues at all.

Well. No big queue in Sweden since I passed 55yo     and got a small stroke, which knocked me out a while and added 10+ years to my look. Still looking a bit younger than I am, but before that the common guess was 15-20 years younger than I were.
Close before that I got offers from as young as 22yo Swedish women, and when I were 40-45 even teenagers were after me, some so young so it was embarrassing.  I even said "No thank" to a teenager looking as Dolly Parton as young - the look of the head   
Can't have depended of money, because "Dolly Parton" came from a family with much more money than I and an other teenager was daugher to a governor.  Can't have depended of my handsomness neither because I don't have any        but humour and charisma when I put that on.
One of my grandfather's was much older than grandmother but stayed much younget than his age both by look and by attitude. He counted himself as young still at 85   
Before I moved I exchanged most of my friends when they passed 30, because most of them became to boooring        A funny thing was the teenagers I were youth leader of kun of counted me as one of them although I were 40!    They were a close 4 group, but when one of them were missing they phoned me instead of phoning one of the other club members in their age!   Although for them not knowing my age it didn't look odd by when I were 35 people still thought I were teenager by look, but thought 50+ since I started my business at age 24 when at phone   

Bukidnonkane wrote:

My favorite moments in when i am at immigration, and i see these 80 year old men with 20 year old filipinas,  with a baby, and 500 dollar handbags.  My asawa and i are 2 years apart, and we just laugh.

maybe baby not from him

liubov2011 wrote:

Bukidnonkane wrote:

My favorite moments in when i am at immigration, and i see these 80 year old men with 20 year old filipinas,  with a baby, and 500 dollar handbags.  My asawa and i are 2 years apart, and we just laugh.

maybe baby not from him

An interesting observation after reading libov2011 reaction, not apparent the first time reading it.

First reading: An Old Expat living out his fantasy.

Second reading: How does an 80 year old have a high enough sperm count to impregnate anyone? Also it's not uncommon for many Filipino women to had children out of wedlock.  Many children are a result of Fun & Run.

So why not latch on to an 80 year old ATM who has one foot in the grave?

liubov2011 wrote:

Bukidnonkane wrote:

My favorite moments in when i am at immigration, and i see these 80 year old men with 20 year old filipinas,  with a baby, and 500 dollar handbags.  My asawa and i are 2 years apart, and we just laugh.

maybe baby not from him

And maybe he has lots of bullets, stud? I see in Manila when living there 8 years ago that the age difference with foreigners and Pinays to be 0 to 30 years and not 60 years, even here where I live now the age difference is 0 to 20 years, I am the odd man out as we have 30 years and both happy, 9 years on.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

bigpearl wrote:

liubov2011 wrote:

Bukidnonkane wrote:

My favorite moments in when i am at immigration, and i see these 80 year old men with 20 year old filipinas,  with a baby, and 500 dollar handbags.  My asawa and i are 2 years apart, and we just laugh.

maybe baby not from him

And maybe he has lots of bullets, stud? I see in Manila when living there 8 years ago that the age difference with foreigners and Pinays to be 0 to 30 years and not 60 years, even here where I live now the age difference is 0 to 20 years, I am the odd man out as we have 30 years and both happy, 9 years on.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

Well an 80 year old man might have run out of bullets or the bullets are duds. It's not only bullets but that worn out cannon that refuses to cooperate.

That 80 year old husband sees his young wife bending over in the garden and notices her behind  is as big as their BBQ grill and tells her so.

A few nights later he is in the mood and lets her know. She replies "you want me to fire up my big BBQ grill for one little weenie?"

Well young fellow,,,,, I assume. Us older men can have as much potency with wisdom included sharing that with our progeny, shooting blanks or erectile disfunction affects all differently. At 61 I'm firing blanks, vasectomy aged 38 after our last young one,,,, that was enough. The working part won't impregnate my better half and if a failure would make history, my Husband is pregnant. It still works and to date very well with no complaints.

My better half is 30 years younger and while for me too young and rejection on my part in the very early days,,,,,,,,, 9 years on and here we are now living a simple life in PH. listening to the waves break, mid day bedroom with the A/C.

You know what? So many thing's to say to the OP but another time.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

bigpearl wrote:

Us older men ? 

At 61

It still works and to date very well with no complaints.

My better half is 30 years younger, Cheers, Steve.

With the liberty of snips, not the kind of snip you have, I'll comment on the jist of your post.

As referring to age, 61, that is still young. A 61 can to do (vigor) what a 50 year old man can do. So moving on in time, from personal experience a 65 year can do what he has done at 61.

Moving more on, a 70 year old man can do what a 65 year old man does. Now when you reach 75 with a better half 30 years younger makes a very good Stimulant, better than any Prescribed Medicine, Antler Horns, Reindeer Gonads, Rhino Nose, Tiger Penis Soup and the even the lowly Balut.

So time keeps moving on and looking at the past, you may be surprised what you accomplished. Maybe you may believe the following years will bring it all to the end.

It Doesn't

Enzyte Bob wrote:

It Doesn't

Well. I'm close to 70 and still function without pills, although not as good as when I were 20    :   

Having a young sexy gf/wife can "replace" viagra         It's even proven by science at monkeys. An old male got back his function when they send in a young sexy female.
An ex* Filipina gf found some years ago, three times per day (which I managed some days back then with rest in between) was to much     Assisted by she is very sexy even when she don't try to. When Lazada changed to depots, the driver went on fetching at her place  anyway to look at her 


(( *Perhaps ex.  She messed up some legal things for hesef to much by not thinking, but I told her if I don't have any other gf, it's possible she can get a new chance if she show she has change to allways think enough before acting.))

coach53 wrote:

Enzyte Bob wrote:

It Doesn't

Well. I'm close to 70 and still function without pills, although not as good as when I were 20    :   

Having a young sexy gf/wife can "replace" viagra         It's even proven by science at monkeys. An old male got back his function when they send in a young sexy female.
An ex* Filipina gf found some years ago, three times per day (which I managed some days back then with rest in between) was to much     Assisted by she is very sexy even when she don't try to. When Lazada changed to depots, the driver went on fetching at her place  anyway to look at her 


(( *Perhaps ex.  She messed up some legal things for hesef to much by not thinking, but I told her if I don't have any other gf, it's possible she can get a new chance if she show she has change to allways think enough before acting.))

Yup...ATM manufacturers recommend that a vault be attached to the floor to prevent theft (so yes its best to be grounded    ) ,though there is a record of a theft conducted by tunnelling into an ATM floor (so try to avoid that light headed/tingling feeling one may get    )...so best don't let your guard down & have limits set on any cash withdrawal if you want to remain a respected & reliable ATM.

manwonder wrote:

coach53 wrote:

Enzyte Bob wrote:

It Doesn't

Well. I'm close to 70 and still function without pills, although not as good as when I were 20    :   

Having a young sexy gf/wife can "replace" viagra         It's even proven by science at monkeys. An old male got back his function when they send in a young sexy female.

Yup...ATM manufacturers recommend that a vault be attached to the floor to prevent theft (so yes its best to be grounded    ) ,though there is a record of a theft conducted by tunnelling into an ATM floor (so try to avoid that light headed/tingling feeling one may get    )...so best don't let your guard down & have limits set on any cash withdrawal if you want to remain a respected & reliable ATM.

Well. I don't plan to become an ATM     
I haven't send any money (except once when I paid an extra strong urgent needed antibiotic finnishing part of cure for a 3yo when he was close to dead when the family didn't have anyone else left to ask, but I didn't pay their not urgent hospital bill.)
I spend very litle at myself and prefer to dress relaxed as a poor farmer,  hoping that reduce their expectations   
I'm not married, but plan is to try to make agreement with future wife, she get a steady amount which she can use as she want at hersellf and her family or save. OR I will perhaps finance some Help-to-self-help earning for the family IF I believe they have skill to handle such and then I expect they will manage themselves.
But it can be hard to follow if nice lolo get REALYY serious ill and tthe family can't finance the treatment.
Plus I plan to finance ONE  party per year.

Or perhaps I will find a suiting wife among "cousins" to my new business partner  Then they will get extra income allready by their share of our business.
We haven't discussed any such other than when I mensioned  I aim at geting an around 30yo wife, he comented "To old" 

manwonder wrote:

Omho....not all 'x' prostitutes turn out to be bad partners...neither do all deligent church going ladies turn out to be a good partners....I guess it all depends on the possibility of change & the idea of securing a better/brighter future for them as well as their families. Btw that applies to us too.

"Not all 'x' prostitutes turn out to be bad partners" I know it's a tired cliché but as many an expat will tell you 'you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl..'

Suddenly my paycheck-to-paycheck subsistence becomes an asset.   ATM always open girls, sadly not much withdrawals available.

Buyer beware!

Richard Guerre-Pretty woman?

Every time I mention the Philippines, others look at me with a all-knowing eye, especially women who are threatened by Asian women.

I don't have a problem finding dates in Australia, but prefer younger (35-45) Asian women. There are some nice tight women in the 50-60 yo range, but they have too much baggage and are interested in my vehicles and property. The worst is the sycophant girlfriends.

Can't wait to see the smiling faces of the Philippines. I'll be in CDO for a couple of months May-July.

My friend just be careful Pinays can make a good wife. Just look out for the signs like some one is.sick ,my mother is.in the hospital..and when u marry a pinay u marry the whole famiy. Dod u know that in the Philippines if your wife dies before u .u lose every thing if u dont have children. So be wise.about your plans.

@fgarthon "Dod u know that in the Philippines if your wife dies before u .u lose every thing if u dont have children. So be wise.about your plans."

Hmmm you don't lose everything, you lose the land, not the house. As for losing the land, the attorney who drew up our will said that if the husband is left holding the land, he (I) would still be the beneficial owner meaning that he could sell it or give it away to a friendly family member; the government does not confiscate it and unfriendly family members could not just claim it until the surviving husband made his disposition on the land first. Some might even give it to the church with understanding that you remain on the property until death.

Thanks do u also know if u lose your visa 13A

Thanks do u also know if u lose your visa 13A

Yes, you lose your 13A. Back to extended tourist visas or SRRV if you qualify. But in that unthinkable event I would just sell out for quick sale and go back to the US.