Expat life is often idealized, especially on Instagram, where you can see amazing exploration photos. This lifestyle can indeed make people envious, yet there is a setback that expats do not always publish on social media. Living abroad also involves dealing with loneliness, poor well-being, or even culture shock. Expats talk to Expat.com about how their dream turned into a nightmare.
Living abroad is not holidays
Adèle, originally from France, has lived in Australia for two years: “Leaving France has definitely helped me rediscover myself. I didn't expect to be so shaken up. I hadn't signed up for a big 8, at least not consciously. You have to keep your head on your shoulders. Living abroad is not easy and rosy as you are made to believe. There's a misconception that we backpackers live our best lives sipping goon all day, earning thousands and hundred. This is totally untrue. Expat life is hard, sometimes even harder due to a lot of self-questioning, tears, fears, uncertainties and troubles. I tend to wonder whether I have been a little selfish by going away from my family. Expat life also means discovering different ways of life. I literally stay with other people all the time since I live in shared accommodation and work on farms. What upsets me a lot is that I have to think about everyone while doing my introspection, and it isn't easy. Regardless of all my planning, nothing was going the way I wanted. Despite all that, I learned a lot and grew. I look at things differently today, and I am proud of what I have become, thanks to this experience. »
Dream vs Reality
The only thing Estelle wanted was to live in Paris. Alex, for this part, dreamed of leaving his home country to live in New Zealand and explore its endemic fauna. For Estelle, Paris was elegant and romantic; for Alex, New Zealand was paradise on earth for nature lovers. However, both were extremely disappointed by their very different experience from what they expected. "I'm from New Caledonia, and I've always admired Paris. So I seized the opportunity to pursue my graduate studies in France. But I felt lonely very soon. The people I met were individualistic, and I had a really hard time making friends. There is very little support, especially in the street where people don't bother to look at you when you ask them a question. So I decided to go to London. This city suited me more on the social aspect".
Alex and his girlfriend landed in Christchurch in October 2019: "It was a cold shower. Today, you shouldn't expect to find a kiwi or a kea crossing your garden. You can only find them in small and scattered spaces. New Zealand looks like a gigantic pasture for the sheep and beef industry. On the road, you will discover meadows lined with barbed wire fences and not large, lush green spaces as you would expect. We were only able to see endemic animals in captivity for conservation reasons". The young couple was also surprised to see that many people enjoyed revving their engines on the wild beaches.
Living conditions
Alex and his girlfriend had difficulty finding work and decent housing in New Zealand. Alex related that he had been turned down several times by different employers. "After many negative experiences, we applied for a job in a resort on the South Island. After two telephone interviews, we finally received a positive response. We were supposed to join the team in January. That was great news! We bought a car, gave notice to our landlord regarding our departure, etc. I resigned from my current job and my girlfriend too. Time passes, but no news from them. So we sent an email, then a second, and after that, we called the reception, but in vain. We never got any response from them. When we finally got a job, then the problem was the state of the accommodation. For example, we found a job in Opotiki, an incredible city, but the accommodation was simply a horror. If the encyclopedia was looking for an illustration to define filth, a photo of the interior would do. The cupboard and drawer handles were sticky; the dishes hadn't been done for well over a week, the bathroom was covered in limescale and toothpaste. The room we got was dusty, and there were abandoned packets of half-eaten biscuits in the cupboard. We obviously declined the job offer and went back to looking for a new job".
