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From France to the UK: This expat mum has lived in countries

expat mum
Written byNelly Jacqueson 22 July 2022

Nathalie had never thought that one day she would move abroad, and yet she has already lived in more than 5 different countries. Today, she lives in England with her family and tells us about their expat journey.

What was your life like before moving abroad?

I lived in a small village south of Corsica until I graduated. I never thought that I would live abroad one day. Quite the contrary, I used to feel sorry for my friends whose parents were gendarmes and who moved every three years. 

After my baccalaureate, I studied Spanish in Nice and passed my master's degree in Valencia, Spain, thanks to the Erasmus program. This is how my expat adventure began.

I completed my studies in Nice and Paris, then moved with my husband to Poitiers. My travel life began at that time. I had my first two children in Poitiers, where we lived for a little over two years. 

With two small children and no job, it was hard for me to socialize because most people had known each other since high school. 

Therefore, it was a very difficult period for me. Even though I was still in France, it wasn't easy for me to deal with the distance from my family and the isolation.

Then my husband got an assignment in Reunion Island. He went up to work at his company's head office to prepare the site. That trip was supposed to last about four months, so we decided to go back to Corsica at my parents' house, but it took nine months, and my children found it hard to bear the distance. This is how we ended up moving to Reunion Island.

Tell us about this move to Reunion Island.

My husband was transferred to work on the New Coastal Road project. I was very apprehensive at first since I was jobless. Above all, I feared the absence of social life as in Poitiers. But life was very different, and I think it was the best experience I've had so far.

In the beginning, things were a little complicated, especially in terms of my children's adaptation, but it wasn't long before I found a job in a ready-to-wear store near my home. It allowed me to meet people. I then made some replacements in different schools on the island. Being Corsican helped me a lot with the students. We had a lot of exchanges.

Life there was very pleasant. On the weekends, we used to go on hikes, picnics in the mountains, or on the beach, depending on the season. Also, there is a significant Latino community there, so I was able to meet nice people with whom I am still in contact.

What I enjoyed the most were the quiet way of life and the climate. I felt at home, even though I was on the other side of the world. I had the chance to meet incredibly nice people who invited us to eat at their place. This helped us discover new cultures.

You then moved to Cairo. What was the reason behind that move?

Once again, we moved due to my husband's job. It all happened very quickly. Between the time we found out we were leaving and the day we left, barely 3 months went by.

As a result, we returned to Corsica in June 2017. My husband left the following week for Cairo. I joined him with my children at the beginning of the school year. Life was, indeed, very different from Reunion Island! We went from lush vegetation to desert and dust, to heavy traffic, and most importantly, there was the language barrier. Although the Creole language is very present on Reunion Island, I was able to grasp it very quickly. But learning Arabic was a different story. 

I found a job as a Spanish teacher in one of the 7 French high schools approved by the AEFE.

The first year we lived in the Maadi district, where most expatriates live. But our workplaces were far away, and the traffic in Cairo was crazy. So, we spent a lot of time on the road. 

In the second year, we decided to move closer to our workplaces and enrolled our children in the school where I worked. 

We lived in a calm and quiet compound surrounded by lush nature, and we joined one of the private clubs there. We were able to enjoy the swimming pool in summer, the gardens in winter, and the sports sessions. Cairo is a huge city, but the world is ultimately small even there. Everyone knew someone who knew someone.

As a woman, it was sometimes more difficult to assert my choices. Sometimes I had to say that it was my husband's will if I wanted to voice out something. But I've never had any issue regarding insecurity or disrespect.

Life in Cairo was both intense and peaceful. The language barrier was significant, though. It wasn't always easy, but depending on where you went, there were people who spoke some English. 

I got to know the Egyptians more personally thanks to my teaching position. The parent-teacher or student-teacher relationships are not the same as in France. I created such strong bonds with my students that I'm still in touch with them. My job helped me understand their way of living, thinking, and being.

Why did you return to France after that?

Returning to France was not planned, but life events decided otherwise. A recruitment agency contacted my husband. We thought it was the right time to return because we had just discovered that my eldest daughter had vitiligo and, at the time, we didn't know if it was severe or not. We thought that going back to France was a good option in terms of health care.

When we came back, I was the happiest person in the world. We bought our first house. I thought that I would finally live again without having to adapt to anything, that the language would no longer be a barrier, and above all, that I would finally be able to settle down and be closer to my family. I had a feeling of security—no more fear of the unknown. 

By chance, a childhood friend was my neighbor, and our daughters were in the same class. So I quickly got to know people, but ultimately, my whole family had to adapt to this new life. 

When my children explained to their classmates that they had lived 500 meters from the pyramids or slept in the desert, they thought they were lying. 

Gradually, the fact that we were going to stay without moving regularly, and having a normal life, started to scare us a little. Even though I had returned to my country, I felt a gap in certain discussions that I could have.

What was your life like in France when you returned and what made you leave again?

We bought a house in the South of France to be close to family. I was pregnant with my third child, and the idea was to not move around, even across the country. We wanted stability for our children. Professionally, I wanted to go back to teaching as a substitute teacher in secondary school. But my husband had a new career opportunity in the company where he used to work in England. We hesitated a lot, but I saw the excitement that I had not seen in my husband's eyes since our return to France, and this convinced me that I wanted to go on a new adventure too. So we decided to take this next step, and my husband signed his new contract. I gave birth to my child in March 2020, on the eve of the first lockdown, and my husband left in October for England.

Was it difficult to plan your move with three children?

The Covid pandemic did not help, but I was lucky to get help from both my mother and mother-in-law whenever they could. It was indeed challenging, especially since my youngest daughter got sick as soon as my husband left. I had to take care of the house, deal with the doctor's appointments, go through a hospital stay, my baby's surgery, sleepless nights for months, and the daily routine. 

Initially, my children and I thought we would stay in France, with my husband going back and forth on weekends. Finally, they were missing their dad, so we eventually decided to join him there. Leaving our friends was obviously difficult, but this time we knew we would see them every time we returned to France. 

So, we went through this moving abroad process all over again, from looking for accommodation before our arrival to looking for a nursery for our baby, etc. And this time, we enrolled the children in an English school.

How was your arrival in England? Did you find it hard to adapt there?

We arrived in England with my husband at the end of August 2021 in a house with only furniture in the rooms. Unfortunately, between Covid and Brexit, the delivery of all our furniture was delayed between September and January. 

In the beginning, I was scared to drive on the left side of the road, but in the end, I got used to it. I didn't have a choice anyway; I had to do the shopping, drop the kids off at school, etc.

I was very apprehensive about my children's integration because they did not speak the language at all, and they were going to join not only a new school with everything that this implies but also a different school system.

My son integrated very quickly, which took a load off my mind. It was a little more complicated for my first daughter, but everything has gone much better since December. They now have friends and communicate very well in English.

We live the same way as in France. The only difference is that each time we go somewhere, it's a discovery. 

What is your life like today? 

Everything is going very well so far. Life here is very calm. We live in a small town, in a quiet area. My two older children go to an English school where they are thriving every day. And my youngest daughter is in daycare three days a week. 

Our integration is going well too. There is a small French community here that we meet regularly. But our children are often invited by their English friends. So I think it is important not to stay only among French people. As for me, I learned to expect less and not have an ideal. Every country is different, and so is the way of life.

The English people are very nice. When I wait for my children at school, I often have the opportunity to exchange a few words with other moms. Some of the teachers sometimes come and ask me how we are and if we like it there. 

But we haven't had the opportunity to be invited over to their homes for tea yet. That said, it's not really their habit. Instead, they tend to meet in pubs.

What about your career in England?

When my husband left for England, I quit my job to be able to take care of my children full time. But I really missed teaching. So I decided to start my own business and created a space where which I provide online courses in the Spanish language for adult expats and people who are planning to move abroad.  

I realized that it's quite difficult to adapt to a country when we don't know the language. This still applies to me and affects me at various moments, such as having to check the children's homework, asking for directions, getting information in a store, expressing our health issues at a medical consultation, etc.

But this is not only a communication barrier. Speaking the language of the country where we live helps us build our social circle and create new bonds, better understand the country's culture, and, therefore, facilitates integration.

I am currently working on an online training project with personalized support for people moving to Spanish-speaking countries. I have also recently created a blog to help people progress in Spanish. The idea is to share my experience as an expat and my expertise through tips, recipes, and experiences.

What are your thoughts on life in England: the living environment, the culture, etc. Are you planning to live there for a long time?

I have not been in England for very long, but moving there after living in Cairo made it easier for me to settle in. Even if I don't fully master the language, I can get by, and daily life is not so different from France. 

If I had to give a negative point, it would be the long winter nights. It can sometimes be very dark at 2:30 pm on a rainy day. I need more sun and light. On the other hand, spring days are much longer and more pleasant!

I think I wouldn't mind spending several years here as long as I can go back to my island from time to time.

Everyday life
About

Nelly is a French national who has lived in the US and is now settled in Barcelona. She's content writer for Expat.com but also writes tourist guides, organizes tourist tours in the US and is a travel and lifestyle blogger.

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