Rejection From Filipina

I met my wife online and we sorta clicked right from the first day so I don't know much about screening and working at it. She left her computer on so I could monitor her if I wanted, even when she slept, which I've been criticized for on this forum. I left my laptop on also when I wasn't using it for work and set it to automatically answer her calls. I went to meet her after 3 weeks of chatting and returned a year later to bring her home. We had a wedding in the back yard of our Houston home before the 90 day return period expired. I've known her for 17 years now and wouldn't change a thing.

It is very important to be honest. I let her know right from the start that I was recently divorced and I had a vasectomy. Bearing children is a high priority for most Filipinas so we had to sort that out. I told her there are ways such as reversals and in vitro fertilization which we looked into but ended up adopting her 8 month old nephew so it's all good now. She wanted someone to take care of her in her old age. Children are a form of Social Security in the provinces.

I would have been OK with one or two young children and I said so in my Cherry Blossom profile but I ended up with a pure Visayan princess who is strong willed, set in her ways and dedicated to her husband as I am to her. All my friends and family members absolutely love her and have never met anyone else quite like her.

My main advice is do not fall in love. Love is not a good reason to base a relationship on. If everything is good, love will happen but having a teenage crush on a prospective mate can affect sound decision making.

@Moon Dog I don't always agree with you, however, there's some very sound advice in your message. I also appreciate you sharing the details of your relationship. 👍

I met my future wife in 1992 as a pen pal after joining Pearls of the Orient, a pen pal club run out of Colorado by an American and his Filipina wife from Cebu.  He encouraged US members to avoid the passport hunters from Manila, sold Cebu City and province as a purer area.  Plus he had agents on Cebu, could do cheap background checks to weed out the liars.  Over three months I started writing to 30 girls, received answers from 21, had one call me collect.  I refused the call.  After a year I had my future mate selected, serenaded her with Moody Blues and Neal Young ("I'd cross the ocean for a heart of gold").  Flew to Manila in November of 1994, got married, returned to USA in December, and a year later she arrived in the USA on a spousal visa.  Retired in 2017 and started spending October to April in the Philippines and April to October in Bethlehem, PA until the 2020 Covid mess.  Will be back on schedule this October. We were 45 and 40 when we married, have no children but 32 nieces and nephews.  My wife had worked 10 years as a domestic helper in Hong Kong, we love to travel the world, mostly via cruise ships.   Both very happy all 28 years of our marriage, looking forward to more cruises.

The biggest problem is infatuation is not love. The feeling are the same, many times infatuation is stronger than love, leaving one to make poor decisions.

I expected to hear success stories as posted. But, when it comes to failure, those stories more than likely will not be posted. Now that leaves Cherrtann01, a man with enough courage to come forth.

Also on dating sites most people put their best foot forward for the best results. Both parties in some cases exaggerate what they are selling.

I left my reclusive hovel for four days with a vacation in the city Roxas (more on that later), I first hand viewed Expats with May December relationships. I said what the ****, these Filipinas will settle for anything as long as it improves their life.

It's just the opposite of a trophy wife, an old, bald, ugly and obese Expat can be a trophy partner.

CA writes, "Some of you may know that so far I have been unlucky in love but I am just curious to know if anybody on this forum has been rejected by a potential partner .. I would also like to know if anybody who found a suitable partner online has had to really work at the relationship .. had to work hard to gain the trust of a person they really like and want to start a relationship .. I wonder if anybody out there really had to work online, and work hard, to convince a perspective partner to give a relationship a chance and meet up. Many Thanks, Alan -@Cherryann01

`

Alan, everyone here will understand that you are a sensitive and caring soul, always respectful towards everyone.

For any such sensitive person, finding a soul-mate (one whom shares your fine human understanding and care), only through the world's internet machinery will not be easy.

You seek a deeper and more mature level of human relationships than can currently be achieved through internet communication devices.

So it seems to me my friend that you might be asking the impossible. Finding and keeping true-love, over the net.

Women are down-to-earth. In relationships, all they really want is a man to hug them, and to make them know they are, and will always be, safe and care-free with you for all their lifetime. And for that, you need to be there.

So, to have and keep a long term relationship, what do they need?

One, they need to chat to you, just really to discover your existence, and feel that you will find them attractive.

Then mate, they need to spend time with you. In person, and with you, just goofing around, getting to know you.

You can NOT expect anyone to enter into a lifetime of deep love, friendship and devotion over the net / phone.

If anyone will not give you time to get to know them via the internet, move on.

There are a millions of lovely women all just hoping to meet-up with you, and your sensitive soul.

If they play hard-to-get, that's what you can expect forever from them. And who wants a relationship where-in you must always appear grateful for their company? Haha, please don't wish that on yourself .. never ever!

Mate, faint heart never won a fair lady.

You can chat all you like on over the wires, but if you seek a Philippine lifetime partner, you must do it in person.

And, that's what just about every Phils lady wants.

No matter how hard-to-get she might pretend to be.

Your choice, step up, and put yourself into her place :-)

Make a choice. Visit, get to know her. Hope to love her!

`

@Cherryann01 There's nothing wrong with trying to get to know someone online to see if they're intellectually, sexually and emotionally compatible before meeting in person. Ultimately you have to spend time in person as it's not an easy task to choose the right person as we have to have the same values, have to have the same worldview, have to share the same vision. We can't just exist in the realm of feelings but also have to be in the realm of beliefs. Have to have the same views about connection versus seperateness, views about emotional expressiveness, views about power. What makes a thriving relationship is not only feelings but also actions, beliefs and physical touches. A beautiful love story can be just about feelings, we can love many more people than we can make a life with. That doesn't mean we make a life with someone we don't love,  it means there's a whole other set of ingredients that enter into the making of a life and ideally we find someone who we not only love but can also make a life with and that takes time and effort

Cherryann I think you need to step back and reappraise your modus operandi in your search for a soulmate in the Philippines. You have mentioned before that you have dated 4 Filipina’s without success. We all know that number 4 had a hidden agenda from the word go and you cannot take the rap for that one.

Your previous 3 relationships naturally I can’t comment on as I don’t know the facts and anyway its none of my business.

As I recall all 4 relationships (forgive me if I’m wrong) were initiated online. Online dating has changed considerably over the last 20 years, at least in Phils. The internet is a wonderful tool but it lends itself to abuse, specifically online dating scams. Most sites from the stories I’ve read are now infested with gold diggers. Yes there are good ones as fellow members have related. Many of them will have had horrendous experiences but unlike you (copy Bob) are too embarrassed to fess up.

As I understand it hitherto you have been travelling to the Philippines with a pre arranged online date(s) and spent 4-6 weeks in the country each time.

My question to you is this: what would happen if online dating was outlawed tomorrow? What would you do? Is it the end of the world? Suddenly everyone would have to figure out new ways of meeting the opposite sex. I have said this on countless occasions on this Forum - there is life beyond the internet (although generation Z might have an argument with that lol). You can meet women in everyday life in the Philippines but you have to come out of your comfort zone. Go to Malls sit in coffee shops, chat to women at store counters. This approach allows you to see women in their natural habitat, the way they dress and carry themselves, those little what I call ‘idiosyncrasies’ that might be alluring or indeed a turn off.

The Philippines is ‘DIFFERENT’ to UK PLC. Remember the discos you used to visit with your mates as a teenager? You saw a girl you liked on the dance floor. After 3 pints you summoned up the courage to approach her and ask her for a dance. She would refuse and you felt a 100 pairs of eyes looking at you? Join the club. I soon figured out that frankly the kind of women you get in Disco’s I would not wish to date anyway and moved onto wine bars - sorry I digress.

Filipina’s are much more welcoming in everyday life particularly when approached by a foreigner. It is not in their nature to be rude. Many will never have been approached before by a sexy foreigner with light skin and a pointed nose. YOU have the same allure as the John Travolta lookalike on the UK dancefloor ( but maybe not all the moves to go with it )

You are in a foreign country where none of your friends, business colleagues or family, can be witness to girls who politely (because they already have a BF or for any other reason) defer your advances. More significantly many of these women will never have used online dating. Possibly, like many other Filipinas, they are too shy. Even better for you. They are the ones who on the whole will not abuse your trust. Some will agree to meet you for coffee and bring along 3 of their friends, one of whom may be an even better match..

Never fear rejection. Dating is a numbers game. When I was in Dumaguete I had dinner with a charming good looking Russian vlogger, Alex Kosh, whose devastingly attractive GF had left him: he was gutted but was moving on and now has another GF. He is a glass half full guy and only 33 years old. He will go far.

Another example is our friend Paul (Old Dog New Tricks) also based in Dumaguete. He was single for 6 months before he even started dating. Like you he had many false online starts until he met his GF Baby Mae of 4 years through friends of friends. I think we all agree she is indeed a pearl.

Rome was not built in a day. I think you really need to go to the Philippines and stay for say 3 months. Keep away from Dumaguete; its too small and gossipy. Iloilo would be a much better bet. Not too big not too small, fewer expats and I hear, lots of nice coffee shops

Lotus Eater. . . .Another example is our friend Paul (Old Dog New Tricks) also based in Dumaguete. He was single for 6 months before he even started dating. Like you he had many false online starts until he met his GF Baby Mae of 4 years through friends of friends. I think we all agree she is indeed a pearl.
****************************************************************

Paul on his latest posting has announced his marriage to Baby Mae.

Oh my God! Hot off the press! Tks for that update Bob. Do you think we will be invited to the wedding?

I met my wife on an internet dating site, we have known each other for 17 years and will be celebrating our 16th anniversary this year. The whole process we went though are the best memories of my life.

If you go to one of the more popular dating sites you will see Doug at the bottom of the home page under "Testimonials", Doug is on there twice. There is Doug and Lolit and Doug and Jheng. This is not fake, Doug and I are friends. Doug and Lolit had a great relationship until death did they part, Lolit died of cancer. After a rather short mourning period (I don't judge) Doug went back to the same dating site and found Jheng who is another amazing person. I actually took a screen shot and was going to post it but I didn't want to break any rules.

I was living in Houston when I met and married my wife. There are more than a few Fil/Am couples in Houston and after a year or two we had met a bunch of them. I would say 9 out of 10 of the men met their wives online. I say that to be safe but sitting here I honestly can't think of any that met any other way. I only know of two that didn't work out and it was no fault of the wife.

I'm not advocating for online dating sites, I have no dog in that fight, but for those who systematically condemn all online dating sites I have one request, please enlighten us to the preferred method?

Thank you to all who have responded above, some very wise words of advise from you all and I will certainly take on board what you have said.

Some may think I started the topic because of the failure of my past relationships which is true to a point but was not the main reason for me asking. At this moment I am not fully prepared to divulge the reason for my post and questions but maybe in time.

However past is past and I have no wish to rekindle any of my previous relationships although with my last that is hard to forget. Not because I cannot but because she keeps emailing me and I keep getting messages on Facebook from her family. The thought did cross my mind that she was the one putting her family up to messaging me but a strange thing happened yesterday. I received a friend request from the man whom my ex had been living with for all these years, married to in fact. I knew who he was straight away even though he had changed his name and opened a new account. I saw pictures of him and the girl who I thought was my daughter on his old account. Anyway, I did message him back and we had a long chat in which he was very honest and open. Turns out that he works for a logging company and spends time away from home when he is working. He also told me the excuses my ex (his wife) gave to him when I was there. Also he told me they had 3 boys and my ex had told me there were only 2. Turns out that the extent of her debt and money borrowed and stolen exceeds 2 million pesos and he is working hard to repay all the money she borrowed and scammed from family and friends. Only then will he try to bring his wife (my ex) back home to face the music, when he has repaid all the money. He estimates that this will take him two or three years, said his job was well paid for Philippines standards. I told him when I was there and it turns out we both had sexual intercourse with her in the Month of May so who knows who is Alyannah's biological Father. I do know though that he loves Alyannah and is taking good care of her and the boys and that is a great comfort to me. She was raised to believe that he is her Dad and knowing he loves her and is taking good care of her is good to hear. I will not interfere further and I wished him the best of luck. He said that my ex had developed a habit (addiction) for playing bingo online. He wants the children to know just what there mother has done and how much suffering she has caused for all but I am not sure that is such a great idea. I did suggest to him that if he can locate his wife that it might be in his and everybody's best interests if he brought her home sooner rather than later. She may still be running up debts where she is now after all. Funny thing is I think if I had met this guy under different circumstance we would have got along well.

Moon Dog, Mugteck - Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories and I am so glad you both found your soul mates and are happy and contented.

Enzyte Bob - So true about infatuation and you make good points.

Palawan 1 - Thank you, I am a sensitive guy and I think you are also. So glad you have found the woman of your dreams. Also so true about goofing around and needing hugs and yes I do agree that meeting in person rather on line would be preferable, although not always practical.

Parvaze - You also make some very good points and for some of us the online option is a more practical solution, maybe because of time restraints or other commitments we just do not have time to go over to the Philippines for extended periods. Your reply is very much appreciated and I wish you all the best with your search for your ideal partner.

Lotus Eater - Well what can I say, yes I remember the disco days very well and standing there getting up the courage to approach a woman that takes your fancy. 3 PINTS though, mine was more like 6 at the time haha. But to answer your question about what I would do if online dating was outlawed and it is a good question. I think most of us on this site are attracted to Asian Women so maybe I would have to take the plunge and take your advise and make time, go over to the Philippines or other countries in the area and look for my soul mate in person. Some parts of the old Soviet Block and Eastern Europe could also yield good results. Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania and Hungary for example but before trying any of these I may decide to look closer to home, here in the good old UK. However that is where the cost of living comes into play. My attraction with the Philippines is mainly the women and the cheaper cost of living, throw in nature and a few waterfalls and that is about it. The beaches I can live without along with the food.

Parvaze - I have sent you a contact request which I hope you will accept, seems like you and I are in the same boat, so to speak.

Thank you to all for your advise, for sharing your own personal stories and for being so understanding.

Alan

@Moon Dog

I'm not advocating for online dating sites, I have no dog in that fight, but for those who systematically condemn all online dating sites I have one request, please enlighten us to the preferred method?

I think I just did.

I think some people love being in love, some even think they're missing something by not being in the love. When looking for love it makes you susceptible to making a lifelong bad decision.

It was 25 years for me between marriages, I was not searching for love, if anything I loved being single. It's nice being responsible for only yourself. If you don't feel like taking the garbage out, you don't. If you feel like throwing the paper on the floor after reading it, you do. If you feel like falling a sleep with the TV on, who cares. If you don't feel like doing the laundry, you don't. If you feel like watching football on Sundays, you do. It's nice to have your freedom to do what you want, stay up late or go to bed early. Instead of having to do something you really don't want to do.

Now I wasn't a hermit, I was able to pursue my hobbies, enjoy dinners with lady friends, go to the dog track and eat dinner in the club house. I think the women who dated me enjoyed the spontaneity of having a good time.

Then with early SS I moved to Las Vegas sure beats paying airfares and hotel rooms. My lifestyle even got better, woman were no problem, I dated Thai's, Filipinas, Married women and others, never searching, they all just walked or fell into my life without fanfare. I certainly didn't need the internet to find women, hell half the people on earth are women.

On my second marriage at age 65 my wife and I rented a jet ski and when her niece came to live with us I was 70 plus and rented a jet ski again. My wife asked what would happen if I had a mishap and I smiled and said I would just drown.

Now that I'm older past the national average lifespan I'm not capable of doing those things when I was 65 or 70.

When it comes to love, the grass is always greener on the other guys grave.

@Cherryann01 Received and accepted

Lotus Eater. . . .Another example is our friend Paul (Old Dog New Tricks) also based in Dumaguete. He was single for 6 months before he even started dating. Like you he had many false online starts until he met his GF Baby Mae of 4 years through friends of friends. I think we all agree she is indeed a pearl.
****************************************************************Paul on his latest posting has announced his marriage to Baby Mae.
-@Enzyte Bob

I didn't see that coming.

She might be a pearl.

Does that makes Paul an oyster?

@Moon Dog

I'm not advocating for online dating sites, I have no dog in that fight, but for those who systematically condemn all online dating sites I have one request, please enlighten us to the preferred method?


I think I just did.
-@Lotus Eater

Hanging out in malls and coffee shops? Should he carry a sign?

My advice is to stay away from the big city girls. Exclude Manila and Cebu from your search because that is where the majority of the scammers are lurking. Davao is not as bad, I've met a lot of good girls who hail from that area, but take that one off the list also.

If you follow my advice you won't be roaming malls and coffee shops because they don't exist in the areas I suggest. You could stroll around the open air markets of the province barangays and come to think of it, that would probably work.

If you're looking to hook up with a Filipina you want the least Americanized girl you can find and they are hard to find in the cities, and getting harder to find in the provinces thanks to cheap smart phones.

The clock is ticking, you pays your money and takes your chance.

I've heard that some expats will enroll in college classes in order to meet many eligible women. I wouldn't do that as I suspect most of these women would be far too young for me but it's a thought 😁

@Moon Dog

absolutely correct on love

I've heard that some expats will enroll in college classes in order to meet many eligible women. I wouldn't do that as I suspect most of these women would be far too young for me but it's a thought 😁
-@Parvaze

An excellent example Parvaze. We Brits call it 'thinking outside the box' There are so many opportunities. Just getting on a Jeepney on a round tour of the city. In one hour think of the number of beauties who will sit next to you - in close proximity because everybody has to 'shuffle' up The one line openers are 'gagging' to be used ' where do I get off?' ' This is my first time on a Jeepney'etc etc. When I was in Baguio I met a teacher from Manila at the jeepney stop on the road up from my hotel, the Elizabeth. She turned out to be very mischievous..

I met my first Filipina GF on a goddamned Zebra crossing on Ayala Avenue in Makati outside my hotel The Peninsula - the next day she flew down to Dumaguete with me. Very bright and intelligent from a good family background with a university education.

If you 'push the boat out' and make it happen it will.

Yeah, like shooting fish in a barrel, eh.. well something like that..

I know a few who met their future mates in church, got involved in church related activities.

@mugteck

The best place to meet a woman of good virtues, morals, and integrity. the only other better scenario is through family friends (for example,: I met my ex through her cousin, someone that i collaborated on nearly a dozen website projects with for clients for a couple of years prior).

Of course, it all depends on what one is looking for. a single night of romance? well that's easy enough for a couple of thousand pesos. and i am sure you all know where you'll be more than successful enough to make that happen.

For something a little more worthwhile that requires a little more time and effort? there are dating sites. find one to chat to but have another in your back ocket incase things don't go well with her. interact with her for 2 weeks (though it's very likely or realistic that they will be wanting to meet you in as little as 2-3 days). Invite them for a night of beers and dinner, and....BOOM! they will be eating out of your hands for whatever you want. I am not even joking how easy it can be.

maybe they will have the optimism to believe it will go somewhere, but can also be very indifferent if it does not. Either way, it's a win/win for both. but more so for you.

I hate to say it, but it's true: girls truly are a dime a dozen here,

if you lose the prospect of one, 2 others appear in her place for you to try your luck again.

the challenge is finding a worthwhile girl that does well to stimulate your mind, and keep your zipper up too.

brains, beauty, integrity, and intelligence are hard to find in one.

@kristopherryanwatson I'm sending you a request to connect. I'm toying with an idea re SM marketing & want to chat with you about it

@Moon Dog

My advice is to stay away from the big city girls. Exclude Manila and Cebu from your search because that is where the majority of the scammers are lurking. Davao is not as bad, I've met a lot of good girls who hail from that area, but take that one off the list also.

Moon Dog with the greatest respect your assumptive prose above is frankly a load of tosh. Assumptive because my guess is that you have spent a minimal amount of time in the capital. You are guessing with no experience to back up your claim. You state you met your wife online and you are now living in Leyte. Be honest how many days have you actually spent in Manila?

I have been coming to Manila on business trips since 2001 as a single guy and although I'm not an expert on the city life I know my way around and have met many Filipina's that are not scammers. Are there more scammers in Manila than say Dumaguete or Ormoc, your nearest sizeable city? You bet - It is a very populous city.

Large numbers of genuine single provincial Filipina's have to go to work in the capital to feed their families back home. Many will be lonely and more open to forming a relationship and possess less inhibitions because they are away from the watchful eyes of the parents and siblings. As I stated earlier in this thread its a numbers game. You have to learn how to separate the wheat from the chaff. Sooner or later you have to meet your online dates in person. Even if they are not scammers often the chemistry is absent. All that emotional effort down the swaney.

Anyone coming to London, New York, Madrid will have a much greater chance of meeting their match than elswhere in those respective countries.

About one in six Filipinos now live in Metro Manila. Do the maths.

@Lotus Eater

I've spent a couple weeks in Manila but I wasn't there with the purpose of meeting girls. I had already met my girl and was there to get her papers in order. You are talking about initially meeting face to face in Manila. If you read my comment you will learn that I was talking about online dating. How many hours have you spent chatting with girls online for the purpose of finding a mate? It's apples and oranges. From my own personal experience the scammers I met were in Manila and Cebu. I was about half way through my one year Cherry Blossom subscription when I met the one I was looking for.

Ever hear the old song "I Want a Girl (Just Like the Girl That Married Dear Old Dad)"? I was born on a small farm in West Virginia. My father was a coal miner and tilled the farm with a team of horses in his spare time. We had no indoor plumbing and my mom washed our clothes by hand in spring water. After I met my future wife on the dating site we switched to something like Skype. I could watch her washing clothes by hand, cooking on a wood fire and I noticed the little shack out back. She didn't have many things but what she had was spotless. She actually did not know how to lie so to this day I'm careful what I ask her. In my experience the big city girls can't compare to the province girls in the ways that matter to me.

I may be painting with a broad brush when I say stay away from the big city girls but it is a personal insult to me when I read comments about how bad all the dating sites are when I and many others have found exactly what we were looking for on the dating sites. The internet is a tool and dating sites are where you meet like minded people. You have to be careful because there are plenty of scams. If you are the type that falls in love with the first girl you chat with, stay away from dating sites. The preacher's son I mentioned in another post lost all his money to a scam, around $25K. It started with a message that his girl was kidnapped by the MILF, in Manila, and they needed $2K ransom money. Only an idiot would fall for that! I told him it was a scam, but they had set the hook and reeled him in. When his money was gone, so was his honey. If the girl asks for money she is probably a scammer, just move on, simple as that. They are not going to reach out of the monitor and grab your wallet, you have to send the money to them, so just don't do it!

@Parvaze

I received your DM and accepted your Contact request.  I replied to you just a short time ago already.

Thanks.

Cherryann and a valued member here with your sensible contributions, Filipinas? Russians? Aussies or numbats, when it comes to relationships it matters little the country but the interest and work both parties put into a meaningful  relationship. 12 years ago my now better half that is 31 years younger pushed and pushed the bubble, age nor sex was not the issue but cultural differences that we both saw were meaningless in the end and here we are like most here.

You will find your soul mate, relax and let cupid take aim but not too close to the heart.

Love and friends have no boundaries, your turn will come. Patience is a virtue.

Cheers, Steve.

@kristopherryanwatson Responded

@Lotus Eater Sound advice. Like anything it's a numbers game. But the more desperate you appeal the less likely of success. Enjoy the experiences and discount 90% of what you are told

@Lotus Eater

Paul “old dog “recently got married to Baby Mae. I subscribe to they’re blogs. I believe they will have a lasting relationship! He was very careful.

@Moon Dog. Sorry couldn’t disagree more. Met my wife of 18 years in Cebu and couldn’t be happier.  I live in Argao PI and Anchorage AK. Split my time between the cities  I know many successful FilAm marriages from Cebu and Duma.  There are scammers everywhere but nothing specific to these cities. I would stop generalizing as it is not fair to the women of those cities. 

@Cherryann01 Alan you're going about it with the wrong mindset.  It's supposed to be easy.  All the things you've described in your post are items that would be considered red flags or undesirable traits in a relationship.  First you want someone that wants you.  Someone that's excited to talk to you and wants to see you and get together.  What you've described in your post is damaged goods.  Surely there's got to be something better for you?  Open you eyes and look around.  You will see someone is looking at you that you've been overlooking as you've been stuck on the problem child that you describe as wanting to have a relationship.  Of course that may be what you're attracting because that's what you want.  It's up to you.

thedfords - You may be correct about somebody I have been overlooking.

@Cherryann01

  My suggestion is to find someone reasonably mature. I did and things have worked out well. I have found from talking and meeting many Filipinas the ones from outside the actual city are more willing to accept a true loving relationship. Many of the younger ones seem to be less likely to settle down unless there is a good financial stability.

  Now of course there are many who can and will prove this statement wrong. However I am only speaking from my own general knowledge. I would suggest meeting a Filipina in person . Get to know other expats in whichever area you wish to be at. Having spent several years in the Philippines I learned and saw a lot . Also I suggest is do not rush. Think it over in your heart and mind. If so I find a person rarely goes wrong

I met my Filipina wife in New York City in person, and she couldn't stand me. Maybe it was the arrogant, smug look of someone who had just completed his tour in the military and gone back into civilian life. She arrived on a work visa to the US to work in a hospital, and my first job was that of a security guard at the front desk. Anyway, 30 years later, we're married. However, to answer your question, I am in the Philippines now. Retired with her.  Walking around the mall or the supermarket, I get stared at as a potential suitor. Beautiful women, I might add. If I were to meet my wife online, I would have been "Blocked" and lost out on 30 years of happiness. Cherryann01 comes to the Philippines and meet them in person or attend a singles meeting conference.  Online dating only works for very lucky people. It's like playing the lottery.

Lonely Wolf NYC

Online dating only works for very lucky people. It's like playing the lottery.
Lonely Wolf NYC
-@LoneWolfNY

I'm curious how anyone can become such an expert on online dating that they can make this kind of statement?

@LoneWolfNY - I met my wife online. Twelve years later, we're still happily married.

LoneWolfNY said. . . Walking around the mall or the supermarket, I get stared at as a potential suitor. Beautiful women, I might add.

**********************************

A good number of years ago my brother-in-law bought a new Camaro convertible, it was garage kept, he seldom drove it as it was a his fantasy.

Driving down the road a car pulled up at a red light with two attractive young girls who were smiling at us, we both smiled back.

Later that day I mentioned it to my daughter, she said they weren't smiling at us but laughing at us because they saw two old geezers.

@alwish1 Congratulations, we are approaching 17 years of happy marriage after meeting online. It matters more who you meet than how you meet.