Quality woman for a quality guy

Going to a new country with the intention of finding a "traditional" woman is a great way of getting an expensive divorce, getting ripped off in epic style, or just ending up disappointed.

@Fred I am interested to know why you say that? I am definitely not a chump and was planning on taking my time. I have plenty of experience with an expensive divorce 😂

Define "Traditional"

Complains less than the average American woman. Appreciative, loyal, not afraid to play a different role than a man. I think the things that in some cases have been diluted from a life of excess in the US.

@Slowdown23

Ryan your post has the potential to open up a pandoras box of replies many of which will bring you down to earth with a severe reality check which Fred has just succeeded in doing.

I would scale back your expectations as two weeks is a very short period of time to find a genuine Filipina. Many scammers will find you though and will entice and ensnare you with their bedroom eyes and wily ways. You won’t even know whats happened and when you do its too late - you’re caught in the web.

Dumaguete is a charming city and well worth visiting but there are many foreigners there already many of whom I would advise to steer clear of. Its walkable too with an elegant sweeping Boulevard.

November is a good month to visit the Philippines in general (typhoon season is coming towards its end) especially if you are based in the colder north eastern seabord area when you will be leaving the start of winter behind.

@Lotus Eater thanks for responding. I may have said it wrong. I’m not saying I am going over there for two weeks and then falling in love because she plays the part. I am open to trusting people but am also a prison guard and a therapist 😂 So that trust is limited. I was planning on focusing on the provinces and see if any good fits come my way. And then seeing how it plays out over the long term. I would think a strategic method would be to get a handful of numbers to stay in touch with and if someone fits the bill pursue it. I am very happy to find the site because I know that YouTube/ websites can try and glorify what is out there for clicks. I would definitely want to hear more from everyone.

Sounds like a reasonable plan, however two weeks is not a lot of time. I would stick to the Cebu area because of time restraints or maybe one more destination max.

@Slowdown23

First off ignore idiots that may have had a bad experience.  I am sure for whatever reasons he has that there is more to it than just a Filipino woman taking you to the cleaners.   Here is the truth from only being with 2 women long term  and one short term  and a couple dates in between. 

First learn their culture. This is a must   And learn some Tagalog. The reason I say this is because most expats think they know the culture and in reality they think knowingly or unknowingly that Filipino show learn and live western culture.  WE ARE THE GUESTS.   And if her English is not perfect  be polite not embarrassingly correct her when friends are around. They are very emotional, and remember most Filipinos know 4 dialects of Tagalog and English.  . And when an argument occurs do not yell. Filipinos think differently about yelling than westerners

I PREFER A GIRL THAT WORKS.  My first girlfriend/fiancé of 4 years was a teacher.  She got stage 4 breast cancer at 39 and died    We we’re together 5 years.  Then I met a girl that had a nursing degree yet let her move m and sister send her money and wouldn’t work   What a waste   And the one now is VP of large global corporation. We have been together 7 years.  It doesn’t matter if she works part time and makes very little   It gives you time away  and she feels she has worth. 

    Now as far as the type of woman.  Well if you want  a good woman stay away from bars.  Ask them if you see someone you are attracted to.   Coffee shops. Tent music (except  Makati)   A restaurant where you may see someone or a waitress.  I have found that if you look for a faithful affectionate loving Filipino you know in your gut if she is into you or see’s you as ATM potential.  I have trusted all 3 I was with. And none asked for money.  Most expats create a monster by acting like they have deep pockets then once the monster is created they blame her.   Good luck and trust me. You look at the looks and body for sure but remember communication and her heart is just as important

Complains less than the average American woman. Appreciative, loyal, not afraid to play a different role than a man. I think the things that in some cases have been diluted from a life of excess in the US.
-@Slowdown23

As expected.

It's a lovely dream (for a man), but it's more likely to end up as a nightmare.

I suggest you get Facebook messenger, if you don’t already have it. Big here, and much easier and cheaper to stay in touch with people you meet. I applaud your decision to try out the provinces, because the big cities are where the gold diggers tend to operate, although you can of course get scammed anywhere in the world.

Thats why I wonder about your choice of starting in Cebu, unless you’re skipping Cebu City, it’s the largest metro outside of Manila. Maybe try Buhol, Mindoro, some of the provinces of Luzon, with smaller cities, like Batangas, maybe Bulacan province, off the beaten path. You will have a much larger pool of more traditional pinays. Avoid the big tourist destinations, use agoda or some other travel site to book your lodging a day or two in advance. Take a bus, if you’re really adventurous, do plenty of walking around.

If you want to meet local people, go where they are at, travel like they do. Jump on a jeepney, explore. Check out the little shops, you’ll meet a lot of nice working class girls that way.

No, you don’t need to plan out your whole schedule. Make sure you pick up a cheap phone here, you can get a decent Vivo phone for around 4000 pesos, get a Philippine sim card, buy a load, and go. Globe has a data load called Go90, 8 gb data for a week, Smart has the same thing for 99 pesos. Be friendly, smile a lot.

Good luck to you.

I would think a strategic method would be to get a handful of numbers to stay in touch with and if someone fits the bill pursueit.
-@Slowdown23

Perhaps you could explain how you are going to collect the numbers, your screening process, and why you're such a great catch loads of the most traditional women will line up to grab you.

I see an epic fail in your future

@Fred I am not sure where the negativity comes from brother. I would assume get a whats app or the recent advice of Facebook messenger. I would just plan on going up and saying hi. Making a girl laugh has been where I get most of my success in america. Probably end up talking for about 6 months and see if she’s worth factoring into my next trip. As far as screening, I think I am a decent read and just would trust my gut. Maybe meet the family see if they perk up during certain topics that flag red. Why am I a decent catch? Loyal, dependable, patient, not going to play the game where I kiss a girls ass. Great comedian Patrice O’Neal (Rip) talks a lot about never loving a woman more than she loves you. Even though I take pride in being a good partner.

@Slowdown23 I would love to be in your situation and have so many options available to me. You seem interested in the provinces and I found the provinces to be more to my liking than the big cities. I didn't care much for the US cities either.

I've been visiting the Philippines since 2006 and I moved here permanently about 20 months ago. We live in Biliran province in the barangay of my wife's many relatives. It is considered the province and connected to Leyte by a single bridge. You can explore the provinces of Cebu and later take a SuperCat or OceanJet boat ride to Ormoc and explore Leyte if you like. You could rent cars and travel about but you should probably use public transportation until you feel comfortable driving. Your US license is good for 90 days.

My wife is a traditional Filipina if there ever was one. She is honest to a fault, very sociable, talks a lot, loves to joke and have fun with her friends, but has a fiery temper is she is wronged. She loves birthday parties and Christmas, likes to cook. She is very clean, neat and organized and expects the same of others. She doesn't drink alcohol but at parties we attended in the US you would swear they were all drunk the way they acted up. Oh yeah, she loves to sing karaoke, she was once featured on a local TV station in rural Georgia where we lived. Also be aware that Filipinas traditionally want children, it is their social security.

You could also join an online dating site and meet some girls then you would have a destination in mind. You can select the Visayas as the region if you are starting out in Cebu. I met my wife online and she was waiting at the tiny Daniel Z. Romualdez airport in Tacloban when my plane landed in 2006.

Define "Traditional"
-@Fred

Traditional. . . . .Walking, Talking ATM Machine

@moondog and @sheepjuno thank you for the information. I have learned more from this thread alone than I have in about 200 hours of research. I am writing all this down so for those that want to keep it coming! 🙏

Slowdown23 . . . .

(1) You should follow the advice of your name.

(2) You are 37 what's the hurry?

(3) Do the math 37+23 is 60

(4) You are looking and not rushing?

(5) Maybe rushing and not looking.

(6) You have plenty of experience after an expensive divorce?

(7) Alimony & Child Support are expensive after a divorce.

(8) In 13 years your kids enter college?

(9) You are financial secure? College is expensive Bro.

(10) How can you retire in 13 years when your kids enter college?

(11) You said you would definitely want to hear more from everyone. Simple: Read past postings on this forum.

I saw the welcome message and it said newcomers are welcome to post and get to know the community. Financially I have things lined up. I have been very fortunate. I would imagine it is wise to visit a girl and do a distance relationship for at least a few years. Thanks for your input.

Slowdown, there are a lot of negative posters on this forum, whose only joy seems to be trying to make others as miserable as they seem to be themselves. My advice would be to just ignore them, look for the good advice givers.

Define "Traditional"
-@Fred
Traditional. . . . .Walking, Talking ATM Machine
-@Enzyte Bob

Our esteemed OP hasn't got that worked out yet.

@Fred I am not sure where the negativity comes from brother.
-@Slowdown23

Too many utter failures by guys hunting for traditional Asian girls.

I started watching these tragedies years ago when mates in the UK went out and did exactly what you say you want to try.

All ended up badly because trying leads to failure.

Not trying is far more successful.

Hello everyone,

Please note that the OP had posted a similar post on the New Members thread and got a response there. Response that i moved to this thread : Post # 9  https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.p … 94#5623802

have a nice day,

Bhavna

@Slowdown23 Blacksheepjuno offers some very good advice. There was a recent poster who I believed was going to be an asset to the forum. His parents were born in the Philippines so it would have been interesting to see how his journey back to the land of his parents birth turned out. He was pounced on and driven from the forum in short order. Otherwise this is a very good forum.

Ryan the one thing Moon Dog omitted to tell you was that he met his other half on Cherry Blossoms. Story completed. Plug over.

@Slowdown23 Blacksheepjuno offers some very good advice. There was a recent poster who I believed was going to be an asset to the forum. His parents were born in the Philippines so it would have been interesting to see how his journey back to the land of his parents birth turned out. He was pounced on and driven from the forum in short order. Otherwise this is a very good forum.
-@Moon Dog

And the guy was a God fearing christian too..

And the guy was a God fearing christian too..
-@Lotus Eater

I didn't hold that against him.

@Slowdown23 hello

Here we go

LOL Fred, see your point.

Aside, back to the OP A quality woman/person for a quality guy. Is that like owning a Rolls Royce and letting Marty Feldman be in charge? Or was that a Mini Minor with Mr. Bean and a padlock?

Asking an expat sites members a question like that? As others say, plenty of mixed responses for and against.

With 13 years before an intended retirement I would only suggest to visit and taste the flavours, get ones hands dirty and flee or hang around. The Philippines is an acquired taste, love it or hate it like most countries and quality women can be found in all countries,,,,,,, suppose it depends on ones expectations of quality, a silk purse or a sows ear?

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

Here we go
-@Fred

And he hasn't even arrived yet!

With 13 years before an intended retirement I would only suggest to visit and taste the flavours, get ones hands dirty and flee or hang around. The Philippines is an acquired taste, love it or hate it like most countries and quality women can be found in all countries,
-@bigpearl

Yep.

The above is good advice as it's the trying for a wife that will get the OP into bother. My first expedition into Asia saw me interested in being a very naughty boy, not a very responsible one.

I found what the OP will likely find - Fun but not a single woman I had the slightest interest in a serious relationship with. My second trip over produced the latter by accident. However, much as that didn't end up working out, it was never a cash thing, and the divorce was inexpensive.

I managed to find another woman silly enough to marry me, but I met her over 10 years ago so that was a slow burner.

Looking for marriage is a great way to find an expensive divorce - whichever country you look for it in.

Hi Ryan

You said that you have time to make sure you met the right person and that you will go to the Philippines for 2 weeks.

My suggestion. Offer your services as a teacher to universities. Can be Cebu or Dumaguete or any other place. As a teacher you will meet many young candidates as well as other teachers who could also be good candidates and you will have time to weigh them and analyse opportunities.

1/ Check what kind of interesting topics you could propose to universities.

2/ Get appointments for your 2 weeks visit with HR managers in a few universities to convince them to select you. Eventually offer them to do the job for a ridiculous amount or even for free. The advantage of doing it for free is that you don't need to claim for a specific visa allowing you to work in the Philippines. Maybe they could pay a few extra expenses for you to be defined.

3/ once in the place take your time. You're looking for someone to share the rest of your life with. Do it is worth taking it easy. Also keep in mind that in Asia time doesn't count the way it does in our countries.

Good luck

@Slowdown23 hello
-@As S Ej

Hello As S Ej,

Do you have any advice to share with Slowdown23?

Yoginee

Expat.com team

Hi Ryan
You said that you have time to make sure you met the right person and that you will go to the Philippines for 2 weeks.
My suggestion. Offer your services as a teacher to universities. Can be Cebu or Dumaguete or any other place. As a teacher you will meet many young candidates as well as other teachers who could also be good candidates and you will have time to weigh them and analyse opportunities.
1/ Check what kind of interesting topics you could propose to universities.
2/ Get appointments for your 2 weeks visit with HR managers in a few universities to convince them to select you. Eventually offer them to do the job for a ridiculous amount or even for free. The advantage of doing it for free is that you don't need to claim for a specific visa allowing you to work in the Philippines. Maybe they could pay a few extra expenses for you to be defined.
3/ once in the place take your time. You're looking for someone to share the rest of your life with. Do it is worth taking it easy. Also keep in mind that in Asia time doesn't count the way it does in our countries.

Good luck
-@Georges Laborie

***********************************************

Ryan have a glass or two, maybe three of Lambanog with Georges, aged for 48 hours.

Maybe as a health teacher in the Philippines you can teach the students how to put a condom a cucumber.

@Slowdown23 hello
-@As S Ej
Hello As S Ej,

Do you have any advice to share with Slowdown23?

Yoginee
Expat.com team
-@Yoginee

No. But I’m sure she has plenty to offer.

Hi Ryan
You said that you have time to make sure you met the right person and that you will go to the Philippines for 2 weeks.
My suggestion. Offer your services as a teacher to universities. Can be Cebu or Dumaguete or any other place. As a teacher you will meet many young candidates as well as other teachers who could also be good candidates and you will have time to weigh them and analyse opportunities.
1/ Check what kind of interesting topics you could propose to universities.
2/ Get appointments for your 2 weeks visit with HR managers in a few universities to convince them to select you. Eventually offer them to do the job for a ridiculous amount or even for free. The advantage of doing it for free is that you don't need to claim for a specific visa allowing you to work in the Philippines. Maybe they could pay a few extra expenses for you to be defined.
3/ once in the place take your time. You're looking for someone to share the rest of your life with. Do it is worth taking it easy. Also keep in mind that in Asia time doesn't count the way it does in our countries.

Good luck
-@Georges Laborie
***********************************************

Ryan have a glass or two, maybe three of Lambanog with Georges, aged for 48 hours.

Maybe as a health teacher in the Philippines you can teach the students how to put a condom a cucumber.
-@Enzyte Bob

🤣

i have red all the comments ,and here is my 5 cents on it .

ya gonna come for 2 weeks ,ok, do not look to find a life partner, just let this be the first of manny vacations you spend here ,lern to know the country and the ppl and how they tick .

once you get some knolidge and you meet some one that catches your interest lurn to know her before you get past the bedroom door ! do not forget once you get a better picture of her to get to know the familie !

tel her everything abouth your selve but give her the truth ,no lies .in my case i gave her the fb of my ex in my country and let them chat without me beeing involved so she here it from the horses mouth .but hey we divorced with mutual agreement with out fighting ,my ex and i are stil on frendly basis . just so ya know this detail. not manny can say that .i know .

if and wen you get all these requirements done and neether she or you fall on there face start to get to the next level and see were it takes the both of you .

i cant be bothered by giving negative comments (i must be in a good mood today hahaha) just how i see it .

greets Dirk

Thank you. I should have really clarified. I am planning on going down there to see what the woman are like and if their cultural differences from western woman are as good as they say. I was more looking for suggestions on where I should probably start and how to proceed. I was told flying into Cebu would be wise for a day or two and then venture off. I took note of the provinces from some of the members above. This is the first time I have heard about booking lodging on the fly versus in advance.

@Slowdown23 in stead of going Cebu or Dumageti were there are a lot of westerners why not go more provincial like Mati city in Davao Oriental and go blue bles beach resort ,we lived in Mati for 6 yrs and it a very nice provincial town and blue bles is a very nice resort just go there and you will get to see "unspoiled " filipinos ,were there are manny westerners you will not find these so abunded as a lot of them see how these expats live and they want that to ,so les chance of finding wath you seems to be looking for .

just my opinion and i can be wrong (but i dont think so)

greets Dirk

If you are a member of any church which has places of worship in the Philippines, then that would be a good place to start. Guessing you not gonna search bars for companionship. Good thing you are not in a hurry, for 2 weeks will only scratch the surface.  It might be better to plan on 4 weeks each visit max out the tourist visa.