Marrying a Moroccan woman

@Alex Walsh how about don't give her any expenses if you think it's about money that she may be after? Or put it in the contract if there's any funny business you won't give any money. If it's real love it won't be about money.

It depends if the Netherlands has a prenuptial agreement. I know many marriages have it like that in the states but would you also have to think about if she has the capability to pay it back as well or will she even sign it.

There is no chance to get a refund of a woman not owning that much money in case of a marriage failure. But you could make a contract with a good English speaking notary here in Morocco to protect yourself. If the marriage fails because of her behaviour like cheating, you don't have to pay her a cent after the divorce.

But for all this you need proofs.

If you take her to the Netherlands without having an official marriage contract she will gain lots of benefits after a divorce.

That's terrible!  You say you love each other and yet you want a guarantee that she's not marrying you for your money and to top it all you want her to stay with you for  a number of years. 

Ever heard of such a thing called ‘trust'?

What happens if she wants a divorce when she's had enough of your behaviour rather than anything else?   She's going to look after your 2 children, etc, etc!   

Outrageous!

I do trust her but after reading the horror stories here I became a bit concerned. Is there anything I could ask of her that could make me see her true intentions? It doesn't even have to be possible, just the reaction from her should be enough I think

@Alex Walsh

Let's first address the 30k

Let's say you made that contract and she signed it... how would you ensure that 30k gets paid back? She is Moroccan and if she came back to Morocco and said she's a single mum, you would be paying her alot more than you think.

So how can you secure or ensure that 30k?

As for ensuring its not a scam, do you think any amount of money would heal the damage to you and your kids?

I'm a mother of 7 children and divorced from my ex who is British/ moroccan... I can tell you the amount of damage of being with someone who is self conceded and abusive in any shape or form is irreparable.

That being said, I'm a woman and it's different, he didn't scam me.

You can make a prenuptial agreement.

I'd suggest you agree to a spousal wage ( standard in Morocco would be 500 to 1000 dirham per month)

Let her know that covers her costs and you won't increase her in any amount of money.

That you would like to wait a certain amount of years before having kids and only once your in the Netherlands with her and they can't be relocated to Morocco or any other country without your consent and prior approval even in the event of divorce. ( you must include during marriage and in the event of divorce.

You can stipulate, in the event of divorce you would like 20/80 child support or 50/50 etc etc

Of she is a scammer, she wouldn't want to give you 50/50 child custody, no mother really wants to do that, so why is she so worried unless she's looking for a visa and a meal ticket ?

She wouldn't be able to return to Morocco with the kids, which why should she if she's in the Netherlands, but that's a huge thing for a moroccan.

Once she enters Morocco with your children she can register them as moroccan, keep them here against your will and subdue you to the legal system here. Even if they are born in the Netherlands. That is why it's important she signs a contract that she can't remove the children from the Netherlands without your consent. If she did so, you bring that contract here to morocco, submit it to the family court and she will be in troubles, your kids will leave with you... but it would still be a sticky situation as the courts here are slow.

It's important you make this contract with a lawyer and legalise it in Morocco at the town hall, keep a copy, make 5 copies just for the sake of it as you want get another original and even if you submit the legalise version in the townhall they won't ever give you another original.

Then you take that contract, translate it and keep it with the original Arabic version. If ever needed... your covered.

Forget refunding money, think of the trap to end the scam if she is looking for a scam.

If she loves you, she shouldn't ever worry about a life without you!

Simple.

I will say that I'd never want to marry someone if I feared needing to make a contract to protect myself.

So maybe that is a big red flag you shouldn't ignore.

There is another thread on here where we discuss a man wanting to marry a moroccan woman and alot of us have advised about moroccan women as he also has kids and moroccan women are very jealous, immature and have next to no maternal skills.

You can read from others experiences. She's 24 and I'd say 24 year old women in the west would make a better step mother than a 24 year old moroccan woman. In general.

Yes I'm generalising because that's the situation, there is good and bad everywhere blah blah blah.

@Alex Walsh

You can read more here about others advice

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.p … 06#5651435

@Alex Walsh  if you have doubt you can test her know, just keep marriage to minimum you can get married with even 4000 euro plus ur legal expense, don't offer to much mahr or spend lavishly on marriage, as day progress u definitely understand her based on behavior, since you get married in morroco you don't have much to pay off much if divorce happen, eventually there is no point in making lavish marriage as well.

@Alex Walsh

i do t think you should condemn this girl with this “ransom”. What if you guys don't get along? Why would you out her accountable for any mistake ?  You either trust someone or you don't. Unless you married yourself first time with a motive , you wouldn't think this way. My opinion is you are going very wrong !

hi there,

what marriage is that? If you don't trust someone, then don't marry them!

of the mariage wouldn't work out, why would you put her accountable and either stay and suffer or pay ? Did you ever think if someone marries you this way , how would you feel ?

did you marry your first wife with a motive ? Unless you did, you wouldn't think of motives and all this creepy ways of sharing a new life with someone. Leave her or marry but don't keep her in custody!

I was just looking for ways to be sure. When I married the first time it was with a girl from here, the Netherlands. She already had her passport, a good job and an own appartment. This new girl from Morocco doesnt have any of the mentioned things. I didnt used to doubt until a friend told me and I read some posts here about marriages gone very wrong.

Many people who marry their equal have a prenuptial agreement. My mother is a barrister of the supreme Court and I grew up reading these documents and the divorce submissions.

Don't make the man feel bad because he has a legitimate fear, many people fear this if they are the upper end earner in a relationship, have assets etc.

I agree. In today's world, you should always protect yourself. My uncle is a judge in my city and that does' t mean they don't love the person but you shouldn't be leaving a marriage at a loss like I see so many people.

I don't see it as a bad thing.

There is no refunds in marriages. You can have a prenuptial contract that protects the current assets you have before the marriage. Most places any assets acquired during marriage would be considered marital assets and would be split evenly during divorce.   

Now if this lady was scamming you. Your 30k investment would be the least of your worries.

In relationships you always take a risk. The best way is to get to know the person more, see how her family is, and how her friends are. That should give you an indication of the kind of person she is.

Simple : Talk to her about it. Tell her exactly how you feel , tell her what's stressing you and observe her reaction. don't play games.... a functional  couple can communicate with each other and discuss everything. but before you do that reflect a little.  Ask your self the same question , why do you wanna marry her? is it because she is young , she has no kids, she is pretty ? her wit?  You say she has no job and no assets. So think really why do you want to marry her? Think of why do you really love her!  You are not innocent either, you are going into this marriage with an agenda of your own , why are you expecting her to get into this marriage just for love? it's stupid even to get into marriage just for love even life coachs ask you to never do that. besides , you don't even come free, you have two kids and you are 12 years older !! So before expecting too much of her, think of what you have to offer her, apart from a comfortable life in Europe and money??!! Are you a romantic man, are you an intellectual guy who can hold  a great conversation , are you a man with a great sense of humor, are you a man with whom a woman can feel at her best feminine? are you a man who is super good looking ? Think of when she is with you.. Do you feel that she is super happy, lightened and herself?  think of your qualities for which this girl is in love with you? if you can't think of any then don't expect her t be doing this just for love....and remember that  50 % of marriages fail anyways even with couples who have no prior intention of leaving each other ; marriage is a risk always.

@Alex Walsh 13 years ago, I met my French husband in Morocco in Casablanca, we fell madly in love and decided to get married after 6 months of relationship, almost everyone around him discouraged him, supposedly saying that I was going to get the French passport and leave it afterwards, but he had no doubts about my love for him, results 13 years later we are still together and had 2 daughters aged 10 and 5, it is certainly out of love and fear that you will be disappointed that you are told that, but believe in yourself, in your love, if you are not sure of yourself, of his love for you it is not worth it, follow your instinct, it may be the woman of your life! And if ever at worst you leave each other for x reason, it turns out that it is you who will leave her and well, it's not the end of the world, it's that in the end you're not made to live together , but at least you will have tried it, and you will live without regrets!!!

I want to marry a Moroccan woman living in Kenitra. She is 24 and I am a Moroccan guy of 36 with 2 kids living in the Netherlands. I know she loves me and I love her and we plan to marry this summer. However some friends warned me about her motives and said she could leave you after she gets her Dutch passport. I already spoke with her family and they seem geniune and kind. However, I still have these doubts. Is there any way I can protect myself from a possible scam? Like can I create a contract that states that if she decides to leave me withing for example 5 or 10 years, she has to refund me like for example 30k for all the expenses I had for her? Is that possible? Are there any other ways?
-@Alex Walsh

Hi Alex, unfortunately, im sure she will not agree to that, like all countries marriages either work or they don't, Lets not call it a scam but yes some people do have wrong intentions. either way lets say she goes to EU with you, if she was to leave you prior to 5 years she would loose her residency anyways and she would have to leave the country or be illegal. if she leaves you after she obtains the passport then nothing you can do in that situation.

But, in your marriage contract in Morocco you can stipulate that you are giving zero dirham if you both were to split up. As far as reimbursement goes im not sure any marriage in any country has these types of clauses and if they do i do not see anyone signing it as its not a good way to start a marriage in my view as it puts doubt in the parents mind that there is no trust between each other. Im sure no one want to start a marriage in that way. Yes contacts agree but its more about in case of devoice what the partner would get rather than taking 50%. And this contract is also your marriage contract in Morocco where you will specify what you will forwent give in case of devoice. Hence why i say you can say zero dh if her and her family agree.

If you trust her and you believe she trust you then don't listen to the negativity around and no one knows the real fate and outcome of any marriage but we pray hope and try to live happily ever after. wishing you all the best and follow your heart and do you research on her and the family first before making a decision.

@Alex Walsh

Don't marry anyone! You've don't sound stable or mature enough to understand what a relationship is.

As a Muslim and a Somali. I want to say that I find it absolutely disgusting and disappointing to read some threads here saying that it can be a scam or sham marriage if it is with a Moroccan.

It might be the case that someone can have an agenda yes, but they can be from anywhere in the planet and sometimes we might know them first hand and their families. Yet they turn the wheel of their agenda as soon as the marriage takes place to reap benefits from your status.

My personal experience with a Moroccan women and the country as a whole was one of the best experience i have ever had in my life and the fact that they are also Muslim like me was an icing on the cake and I felt donate home due to their hospitality and Deen

I refuse to accept any generalisation of Moroccans as they are after you for something.  You mean to tell me there are no good people at all in the country?

Are we under the impression that all marriages that happen in the west between muslims who have passports and all those other meager material possessions that their marriage is solid, will last forever and its always based on love and divorce does not take place??

We need to get this delusion out of our heads as if everything was so rosy,  we wouldn't have all this drama and divorces here in the west.

Marriage is always a risk and only Allah knows how long it will last.

That said if you find someone you love from Morocco take steps to know the person and their family and if you are happy then go for it and say bidnilah.

If you have so much doubt constantly,  then dont waste the other person's time and move  on

@Ha Gu60 Not true its so common here its unreal its more to do with the law being unfair it does happen everywhere but the visa subject is a big one a UK person would gain nothing regarding better pay ect people cross on boats to get a visa risking their lives so its clear many would do any scam to get it thus a person seeking marriage from the west needs to be very careful on that score.Just as a woman may need to be careful of human trafficking caution is always best as lives only need to be ruined once

@have a nice day You can't compare Morocco with other countries where people are fleeing from… Morocco has all chances to find a good job. Only the lazy ones who want glamour and a luxury life are always on the hunt for someone to "rescue" them.

There are so many hard working people with better incomes than foreigners here and they don't come from rich parents. They just took their chances!

But someone like you with this mind of helping everyone would be the perfect victim for those women…

@have a nice day you can get scam in every country if you're dumb enough to get scammed that's all

@have a nice day I agree.

The risk of this particular scam is very high.

People saying you can be scammed anywhere are those typical ignorant people who are defensive for some reason and missing the point that you said this scam of visas is very common here.

Scams of other sorts more common elsewhere.

Yes scams happen everywhere but also the type of scam can be more or less harmful etc.

Scams are less common in Western countries because the ' need ' or purpose for them isn't there.

People can just be more careless and disrespectful without the need for a scam.

@Alex Walsh

be very careful, just got stung by a Moroccan 23 year old girl from Casablanca, I'm 27 from London, got married in feb 2022, she came uk on march 23, sent her back on April 23, told home office to cancel her visa, she took the next flight back and called police straight away making lies, thankfully I told the police first before she had a chance, she had a secret boyfriend and was acting religious and modest but was actually a promiscuous women with multiple faces.

@A N2021 you make good choice before she got neth resident not because of you. Thanks for still trusting your gut.

@Alex Walsh my brother , many people told me the same thing also, and it affected me and I also mentioned it my Moroccan wife, if she was sincere she would have reassured me, but it's normal for them to marry for a better life in the west, and this women had malicious intent from the day one pretending to be someone to me who she was not.

on the flip side, there are good religious women/ loyal women who have morals and values in Morocco, you just need to do the background checks and have tawakkul. Some brothers advised me not to bring my wife to uk, and to just visit them regularly in Morocco as they also did. This is another way.

there's a lot of horror stories I've heard , but also good stories , all depends on the women, if she's had enough of the relationship and she doesn't have morals and values, she will jump ship and claim domestic abuse

@Alex Walsh run!

@Slebeww she flew back to the country because I announced divorce to her while she was in Morocco for Aid, then she flew back immediately after 5 days and called the police, she will need proof of domestic violence/ abuse to apply of a right to stay. But it doesn't make sense that someone flys in to the country then calls the police after being divorced , why wouldn't she call police or notify someone before while she's here (for 1 month) that she's being abused

Alhamdulillah I was able to find out early on and was saved by the mercy of Allah, she was exposed by the permission of Allah. because there are other cases where children are involved and these women (motivated by visa) will get up and leave with the kids because they are entitled to more state benefits with children, and their number one priority is how they can get a visa for their family members in Morocco.

Alhamdulillah, better late/failed to get genuine one, than you spend many years with wrong one.

@have a nice day ofcourse the visa subject is the big one and maybe even the biggest one.

How can someone be so naive to think that someone in Africa doesn't want to come to the UK.

For most moroccans both men and women want to come to the UK because of the opportunity for a better life this is by default in 99 percent of the people as well as those from other African countries. 

Am under no illusion that the person whom you will marry will not look at you different as compared to a local person if you come from abroad.

So for me this is not a question you just have to know they want this in you and it doesn't matter how religious or westernized she is.

The main thing is how she will treat you, how you will get along, how her family will take responsibility over her. These are the vital things to have as an armour to inshaAllah prevent yourself from being scammed.

As for those evil scammers who completely destroy others and affect their heart. Their day of reckoning will soon come to them.

May Allah protect us all from this

Amin

@A N2021 she quite possibly was a street worker. These women create a new identity as they are never accepted within their own communities. Well done for acting.

@Zig8UP she was actually educated and had studied English, worked as a tiktok content moderator which paid a decent salary in Morocco, I guess it was just greed and straight up crookedness.

@Ha Gu60 yeah definitely agree with you, did see red flags but Allah knows best what got into me. She was from a respectable family, I was also with a trustworthy Moroccan and he affirmed that the family is good, but you can't know the women unless you meet her friends, colleagues, or simply check her DMs.

@A N2021 I dont mean to insult you in any way. They are masters of deception and the more educated the better they are at re writing their story.   Good luck to you in the future. Ameen

@Zig8UP yes indeed they are, she was speaking to me how an old Moroccan women was showing her methods of hypnotisation by words and not sihr, and how people in Morocco practice this by trying to hypnotise people, so they are definitely trained in this evil art.

Two men came from the East and addressed the people who wondered at their eloquent speeches On that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said. Some eloquent speech is as effective as magic.'

There is a gang network of these scammers, also in the western countries where there are Moroccan women who help other women by telling them what to do, what to say to dupe the system, in my case there is a Moroccan women called Sara in uk, who has “immigration” experience and was telling her what lies to say etc. May Allah expose this network of scammers

I hope awareness is raised amongst foreigners looking to marry in Morocco and they put measures and checks in place prior to marrying.

the crafty people will no go far in life, if they do , it won't be for long or it's fake. If Allah allows them to succeed then that is even worse because what awaits them after is greater in punishment. May Allah save us from the punishment of the grave. Ameen

@A N2021 yes and if you read my comments on this forum under my name you will see the extent I was scammed and lied to.   It's horrific. 

@Zig8UP May Allah give you complete cure and peace from any sorrow/ depression

Alhamdulillah I was saved quickly by the mercy of Allah.

@A N2021 I am a woman who fall in love with a Moroccan guy. I also have the feeling that the scammers in Morocco are probably networked. And they learn from each other how to make people fall in love with them and then use those people to get what they want: s**, money or visa. I cherish the hospitality of Moroccan but on the other side I am so disappointed from those scammers, especially romance scammers there.