Marriage scam

@shabimbo91

Continued...

(Also from the beginning of the month in May he'd started working full time at his brothers restaurant in a other town and he was saving diligently for my dowry and for expenses for our intended small wedding)

July - his younger brother in Morocco suddenly one day messaged me trying to establish a relationship after almost 3 months of knowing that I was his brothers fiance but never once reaching out to me and I felt so appreciated (again like an idiot) that by the time he'd finished manipulating me with his kind words he suddenly had a problem that I could help him with. He'd hit and run someone with his dad's car that he was driving without insurance and the police were going to get him soon and he only has €250 euro and he needs 600 to pay them off so would I be able to give the rest? And he would pay me back as soon as he could. Because of my idiotic heart I did it and without consulting his brother either or anyone. I fell for the story but apparently there's no such thing as feeding the police money like this. And I also stupidly said he doesn't need to pay me back because I seriously was under the impression they are extremely poor (they are not!) After that I never heard from him again. Not one damn text. Anyway later that week I had another bad feeling, as I mentioned I'm a devout Muslim and these feelings would always happen straight after I prayed specifically for whether this marriage is good for me or not, and this time I suddenly found myself messaging his cousin who lives in Turkey. I asked her some questions about him and it was almost as if she has been waiting for an opportunity to spill the beans on him, she did not hesitate and told me everythingggg. He drinks alcohol and takes drugs, she asked me does he show you goes to the mosque? I asked yes how do you know? She laughed so hard, she said he's playing you because he knows you are religious. He just shows you on video then he starts harassing people there for money and food etc and takes his drugs. I was at a loss for words. Apparently his parents are no better as well as his younger brother who lives with them. He is also desperately working on a plan to get to Europe. They'd already asked me to search for a girl for him here even if she's my age - bearing in mind I'm 32 and his brother is 24😐 loads of things came to light as well that he's abusive and violent. And he has tried to scam a single parent in France before. Many many things I forget. I confronted immediately and he denied everything other than he used to drink a little alcohol and smoked some weed back in Morocco but never after that. He even got his older brother on the phone to corroborate everything including his parents too. They all elaborately explained to me that this cousin is extremely jealous and toxic and she herself had been drinking and sleeping around and having abortions thats why she ran to turkey to start afresh. At this point I was overwhelmed with shock at all the info coming to me. I decided to believe them because I was so attached to him I couldn't imagine my life without him at this point.

Very sorry to hear that. I hate to generalize it but seems like I have heard about more negative stories of foreigners marrying in Morocco.

Such a messy situation, I am really sorry you are going through this. it sounds shady and if i were you i would take a big step back from him and the whole family and take a break for yourself. He doesnt sound honest and it seems toxic. Change your phone number if he doesnt stop calling you.

Im from Morocco and Im really sorry that the bustard treated you that way and gave a bad image about moroccans .  😔😔😔😔😔

Sister, you sound like a very good sister with a kind heart who is about to get entangled with a very questionable family. It seems like a better idea to have your brother/s talk to a few of the local imams in your area to help find you a husband. I am an American married to a Moroccan woman and living in  Moroccan. I was very fortunate to marry into one of the best family in Morocco. They even volunteered and paid for our wedding because they thought I didn't know much about their culture and didn't want me to incur a lot of expenses. They don't ask me for anything and are very kind to me. My wife's parents are even nicer to me than my very own. My advice is to take your and don't rush into anything because you thing that your biological clock is ticking away. Do ishtikhara on any potential mate and ask Allah Subhana Wa Tahala for help. Peace and blessings for you my sister and be safe.

Every country has its fair share of good and bad people. When it comes to life's important decisions, especially those regarding marriage, it is crucial to approach them with a smart and rational mindset rather than relying solely on emotions. After all, it is a decision that can greatly impact one's life.

Love has a tendency to blind us, often making us overlook important aspects of a person's character. However, it is essential to undertake a practical verification process when considering a potential life partner. While it may be disheartening to acknowledge the pain endured in the past, it is imperative to move forward and find someone who genuinely loves and respects you. Material wealth should not be the sole determining factor; instead, truth, respect, and understanding should be prioritized in any relationship.

In conclusion, it is vital to approach the decision of marriage wisely, taking into account the character and values of a potential partner. By doing so, one can increase the chances of building a strong and fulfilling relationship based on love, respect, and understanding.

good luck and allah bless you…

I think every instinct in you is telling you to stay away and you should really listen to those instincts. Don't fall for this anymore. better to be out 650$ and get out now than stay and lose more. If they harass you, tell them you will call the police. Please be safe. Not all Moroccans are like this but yes there are scams out there, like everywhere else. Listen to your instincts,

So sorry to hear that but please don’t generalize , not everyone is the same. wishing u the best

@Malik 5757 to be honest I am seeing such incidents since several years, there was a time I actively suggesting people DO NOT GET YOURSELF INVOLVED IN THIS CHAOS but sadly this will never end, as i mentioned always Money / Nationality / Visa this is the criteria

@shabimbo91  it's essential to recognize that mixed marriages can indeed bring about unique challenges, it's crucial to avoid making sweeping generalizations about their disadvantages. Love knows no borders, and people may find their life partners from different cultures or backgrounds for various reasons. The argument that people should limit themselves to partners from their own culture and religion oversimplifies the complexities of human relationships. While it is true that cultural and religious differences can pose challenges, they can also enrich a marriage with diversity and new perspectives. It is essential to remember that the success or failure of a marriage depends on many factors beyond cultural or religious backgrounds, such as mutual love, understanding, respect, and shared values. Marriage should always be rooted in genuine love and commitment rather than materialistic or immigration-related motives. Divorce rates are influenced by numerous factors, and attributing them solely to mixed marriages oversimplifies a complex issue. Ultimately, the key to a successful marriage lies in the quality of the connection between two individuals, rather than their cultural or religious backgrounds.

@shabimbo91 I have read and seen numerous cases where foreigners, of either gender, have been betrayed and cheated in relationships. It's disheartening to witness situations where the sole purpose behind building these connections appears to be financial gain or acquiring citizenship, with no genuine emotional investment or love involved. If you will check my profile you will think that i am an Anti Marriage person which is not true but trying to make ppl understand that now days this is a new business with 100% risk

@shabimbo91 One of the victim gave said & I love this phrase ``school in the art of deceiving and charming``

Salam all, my account was pending review in the midst of when I was still writing up more to my story.. that's why it seems 'unfinished' - I really appreciate everyone's responses, it gives me courage because I've developed some kind of trauma bond with him or he's done some kind of sihr on me because I've been finding it difficult to leave.. anyway I hope you bear with me as I send a little more info! Jzk!!

@shabimbo91 It is better to be alone than getting into a toxic relationship , those days have gone when relationship had its values nowadays most of them consider it as an easy business

@shabimbo91  Salaam, I've read your story and was hoping you'd complete it.

@Neagn thank you for your message, I know not everyone is like this but this situation broke my heart and made me scared of some Moroccan men

I'm so sorry again everyone my profile is a mess. Here is the rest of the story..

Present day - since then we've been fighting all the time. He eventually lost his job in August for reasons unknown and all the money he saved (almost €4000) apparently life is expensive there but I can't imagine what an illegal immigrant would need to spend on. He ended up sofa surfing yet again and became a complete bum. I became his sole source of income. Please don't come at me for this, I know I know I was stupid..I provided for him fully. I don't want to go into details it's too humiliating for me. I don't regret it though because I never help anyone with the intention of expecting it back. It's just humiliating to be deceived like this.

A few weeks ago I asked for his password to facebook which he wouldn't give until another couple of weeks later. God knows what he deleted but he didn't delete enough. I went through his old messages (prior to me) and again I'm at a loss for words... For the last 5+ YEARS non-stop and like a crazy person he has been begging women for sex in Morocco, Spain and Belgium. He sent porno videos to them and disgusting voice clips. I remember my whole body went cold and froze up. He painted himself to be religious but he was doing all of this all the way until he started talking to me. The content wasn't just normal horny man stuff, really nasty disgusting awful things. He also begged women for marriage.

Last part:

I've now blocked him and his family. It took a lot of strength because 8 months might not be a lot but I've never been in a relationship before and I got attached to this man, dare I even say I loved him. We talked not only every day but 10-15 times a day without missing a day and without being short of anything to talk about. We had routines and a friendship. We had inside jokes and hopes for the future. I'm crushed.

I wanted to share my story for anyone considering marriage with a Moroccan person in Europe who is paperless or even in Morocco because I saw how desperately his younger brother is trying to get into Europe so how many more are doing the same?

I suppose there's no hope right? Can a person like this change? Could he have initially been deceptive but later truly fell in love? Because he was kind gentle loving and remembered all the small details about me. He couldn't afford even a bus ticket when I visited him but he borrowed money from friends to buy me perfume flowers and chocolates. It felt real. And I might be an idiot for still thinking so but anyone who has ever been in my shoes will know just how painful this is.

Also is there any steps I can take to ensure he doesn't try to scam someone else if he lowkey hasnt been doing so already?

Thank you all for listening.

@KKJjJ thank you so much for your reply, I'm taking everyone's advice now that I'm not in a loved up bubble anymore. I was so naive! I'm so sorry I was locked out of my account so I wasn't able to finish the story. It's now been added if you are interested to read!

@jahfrank jazakhallahu kheyr brother I really appreciate your words and I will definitely apply all the advice given here inshaAllah. As for now I need therapy first before I ever consider marriage again. I also need to work on my feelings against Moroccan people.. I have never been one to generalise but anyone who has ever been deceived by a Moroccan scammer it's not a normal deception.. these people are pure evil. The acting skills and the performance of him and his family is what has traumatised me and I want to work on this hate and prejudice that has filled my heart now. Make dua inshaAllah (and I've added the last part of this whole mess of a story just now if you want to read, as my account locked me out before  I was able to finish writing everything up!)

@Andre Petion w'salam brother I just finished it now! I'm so sorry lol I was blocked out of my account and couldnt get in to finish it. If you scroll up you'll see the two parts inshaAllah 🤲🏽

@Heart Collector I've learnt this in the worst way possible.. I can't believe people do this. I know I will be attacked for being stupid and naive but I don't care, what's the point of love if you aren't willing to be vulnerable? I was genuine and I was real. I will never regret that. And I'm so glad I've been scammed because I've never felt pain on this level before. It feels like a slow torturous death but I hope to harness this pain into a greater good for my life and for other women/men

@notabarista thank you so much for your message and what you said helped me a little.. definitely better to be out of pocket than for my life to be ruined. I've reflected on everyone's advice and comments here and this is why it's important for people who are being abused and manipulated to get these stories out there so we don't feel alone because when you are alone.. the manipulation is likely to continue 😪

@shabimbo91 I have a strong objection in this sentence ``Everyone is not like this``, which means you keep on trying or giving chance to other people , when people say everyone is not like that they should mention the criteria also. Just explore this forum and you will come across that majority (both genders) faced the same issues

@shabimbo91 I have heard this word `Love` , looks familiar ! Those days are gone when relationship had some value nowadays Mostly are the players and we have to be coach

@Heart Collector yeah I know but that's the optimist in me. I've been scammed my whole life when I think about it.. I know it's because I'm easy and I'm forgiving and trusting. I need to learn how to be all these things while being cautious and pragmatic. My heart leads me in my life not my logic lol thanks for your thoughts.. I appreciate hearing all sides of the conversation

@shabimbo91 Salaam sister, to be honest, we all face challenges that help us regain our focus. Your experience, though tough, will strengthen you and better prepare you to handle any potential scammers in the future. Don't feel humiliated; such experiences are common, just in various forms. I hope you and your family are doing well.