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I'm the neighbor of an expat who just died here in Medellin

Last activity 20 April 2024 by nico peligro

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chiguy66

So I've been here in Medellin 10 years now; 5 months ago I moved to a new apartment in Floresta. I ended up smack next door to an American, for the first time in all my time in Colombia. He was 75 years old, but good lord, was he having fun with the ladies. That was his thing with Colombia. I'm 42 and this guy was flashing young beautiful steady prepago relations in front of me every other day, it was ridiculous. (Well my history with Colombianas is also voluminous and wild, but I'm currently in a calm introverted/save money period, which always seems to happen after about the first 2 years of me arriving in Colombia--this is my second 5 year tour)


Anyway, Februray 4 it all came to an end when he had a stroke. The full story is enormous, but he ended up in hospital, a low quality hospital that was covered by EPS insurance that he had since he on-paper married a 55 year old woman here whom he met on Cupido. They "treated" him with anti coagulants and all that good stuff, kind of, he ended up back home, next door again, with at home nurses paid for by the guy's adult daughter. Then he worsened, ended up back in hospital, and the decline from there was rapid. He stubbornly refused to let anyone, ANYONE help him withdraw money from his account (he couldn't walk), including letting his own daughter back in Texas access his account so as to transfer funds she could use to help him. Thus, his options were severely limited, and while stubbornly refusing to accept help in any way, insisting that he was going to be "back on mah feet soon enough to take care of all mah bills," his coherencce slipped away, there was no money to buy new adult diapers for him there on hospital bed, the hospital ended up stealing his cell phone while he was being bathed one day-- one of the male nurses swiped it, was never reprimanded in the end. Contact between him and me, his loose acquaintance/neighbor, as well as with his own family back in the states, went up in smoke, his bedsores became infecfed horribly, bone showing, and finally, after surgery for his horrific infections from the bedsore, and 5 brutal days of wretchedly gasping for each breath, eyes completely dull, merely a breathing human body stubbornly clinging to life, he passed away. Phew. That's kind of a summation of what happened.


Anyway. He was an avid frequenter of these forums. "I'm always in all of em" he told me. I too am experienced with these forums, in the year leading up to coming here I was like so many people-- starry eyed, in here scouting Colombia, hanging on every word from the grizzled vets, getting far too invested in it, haha. Then within a year of arriving here, I realized I was just learning as I went and sort of outgrew the training wheels, and just lived my life, mostly very happily. Anyway: he was such an insanely secretive and lock-and-key guy that he likely never would have told me what his username in here was, but he was without doubt mixing it up in here for years. His real name was Edward, or Ted, B--, from the Carolinas. He first left the US for Costa Rica, did some years there, got his Costa Rican driver's license I know (since I have his wallet along with all his other eartly possessions, for now), then moved to Poblado, then to Estadio (this is so unique I know, lol)  finally to Floesta. He ltried affiliate marketing for a while, planned on trying out dropshipping. Loved the Almond Brothers fiercely, country and hard rock, was a conservative and all that entails, etc. So if anyone here knew him from private messages, this is, at least, the one explanation as to why he suddenly disppeared, and will never again return. And also, I suppose this quick rundown of the story will be of interest to those higher up in years/people with medical issues. The route he ended up going down, clearly, is to be avoided, however one goes about avoiding that series of tragedies. If anyone knew him or is curious about the medical side of this disaster, feel free to message me

OsageArcher

q.e.p.d., que en paz descanse.  Thanks for the information, I think...


No one really knows when one's time will come, and how.  I hope his behaviors did not cause his death before his time, but we will probably never know definitively.

ChineduOpara

@chiguy66 Wow what a story! It sounds like he enjoyed his last few years, even if the medical system (and his expat circumstances) failed him in the end.


Thanks for sharing, and reminding us all that Life is Fragile, and we should enjoy it (safely) as much as we can. May he rest in peace 🙏🏾✝🥀


On a side note... as someone who is (despite my best attempts to socialize) mostly isolated, with no family, no partner, no legitimate and "real" friends (those don't exist in Colombia)... I do worry about ending up like this in a foreign country. Knock on wood...

nico peligro

@chiguy66


Actually

.sounds like he had a pretty good time..in his own way


Not that  I read your post in detail..Just skinmed over

nico peligro

@chiguy66


dontcworry those types are a dime a dozen..ten just like him arrive every day at Río Negro

nico peligro

R.i.P.

nico peligro

BTW if I think I am gonna die I will tell you guys..

ChineduOpara

@nico peligro The post is worth reading completely, trust me.

chiguy66

Tomorrow I'm going to get the exact name of the hospital. I may as well provide that info here, since they did in fact employ a nurse who stole a dying man's cell phone-- his only contact with friends and family, alone in a foreign land. Not too far off from a death sentence, that crime in itself, given the context. No one was ever terminated due to this, the nurses just played dumb and pointed fingers. That's the most egregious, immediately apparent. wronful conduct by that hospital, here. They also perpetrated several other outrageous lapses in Hippocratic duty, and...thee's just so much. I'll get to one or two other points tomorrow. But yeah, this hospital is one to avoid if there's any. It's in Centro I know off hand, I'll dig through my phone tomorrow to get the full info. And yes, this guy, unfortunately, did not at alllll help his chances in this ordeal, making many many many mistakes that were completely avoidable, and failing to plan ahead for worst-case scenarios, in many ways. I'll get to some of those soon, too

nico peligro

@ChineduOpara read it again in a bit more detail


I have heard similar and  crazuer stories about "dirty"old white guys ( no disrespect or judgement intended..we are alll  " dirty old men" it depends to the degree) from Southern US some I have posted here,others I am not posting

nico peligro

@chiguy66


Thats terrible


He should have kept in contact with his family and had more friends here


So the EPS system  isnt always that great when push comes to shove


And it is gettiing worse

South American Voyager

Boy some gringos really have taken on the Paisa drama personality, like a Colombian Novela on tv, hehehehe..............for gods sake a cell phone lifted in a Medellin hospital.....head down to the Opera in centro Medellin and you can recover it.............we are born, we live our life then we die and onto the beyond wherever that may be.


I have explored everywhere in Colombia since my first long term visit 34 years ago, now living 15 years in Medellin and still constantly travel Colombia which has become "Small to me", and this is the reason why I have zero interest in having/nurturing/searching for gringos as friends here. Enough said.


"Hippocratic duty" by the hospital? What, stay clear of the 2cb, got it.

nico peligro

@chiguy66 problem is , you could have double oro plus medicina prepagada and 100 million pesos in your bank acvount, something happens they take you to the nearest hospital..which could be a dive..


Same in any country


Here to day and gone to Maui

ChineduOpara

@nico peligro "Dirty old white guys" 👈🏾 hey I resent that statement and stereotype! 🙁 Not all dirty old guys are white... some of are chocolate-colored 👉🏾 👴🏾

😂😂😂

chiguy66

OK, so it was the Leon 13 Alma Mater hospital, in centro. Apparently one of the worst in Medellin, as his on-paper wife is telling me. EPS was the insurance he had. And I'd have to say, the most glaring mistake he made, besides the ever so obvious failure to have money saved in case of disaster, was not having a person here whom he was willing/able to trust with sensitive matters, such as accessing his account for him. I personally had one instance in my time here where I was unable to walk and was very sick, back in 2013, and so trusted a paisa buddy of mine to run up to the cajero and pull some cash for me. Didn't have much of a choice, was in a hell of a tough spot, but thankfully, i was right in that he was about 1/3 people I've ever known whom I would trust to do such a thing. This guy was stubborn and paranoid to the grave, unwilling to even let his own daughter help him with a much, much needed bank run.


And haha, good to see the forums are just as I remember them, before I bailed out a decade ago, leaving behind the endless flaming, trolling, "Oh so a dying man got his cell phone stolen by a nurse in a hospital who was then never even disciplined. What else is new. Oh boo hoo you drama queen just popping in because your neighbor died yesterday. Cry about your Starbucks order having been wrong, why don't you, Karen.  Why even talk about this? These forums are meant for actual life and death matters, drama queen. Hey let's fight!!!" LOL. Have fun with all that, the rest of you guys, seemingly all very nice and cool. Back to non-online-forum life I go. Osage, Chinedu and Nico, good chatting! And good luck, lol...

Lpdiver

@nico peligro So, you think it is possible that you will not die???


regards,


elp

Lpdiver

@chiguy66 I have never let myself be in a hospital enviroment without a capable person with me that knows my wishes and fears. This applies especially here in the good old US of A.


elp

nico peligro

@LpdiverI said the opposite..you could have a stroke in El Centro and they take you to.the same God forsaken  sh1t hole..and if you have the best medicare in the world it wont save you

nico peligro

Dontcstart fighting guys ..only the stupid internet

Lpdiver

@nico peligro At some point it comes down to when your number is up; well you know, your number is up.


lpd

nico peligro

@Lpdivern Dont know if I would know..havent been there yet


Might be an aneurism and konk over, might die in my sleep

ChineduOpara

@nico peligro In 2022 My dad passed away at age 96, and his older sister my aunt followed suite at 106 a couple of weeks ago. I exercise heavily, drink lots of water, and eat right... so if my natural genetics hold up, I'll most likely live to see my 90s.


Thing is... (and this might be surprising to read)... I DON'T WANNA 😂


Especially not while single, unloved, family-less, community-less, isolated and lonely most of the time (albeit with tons of busywork, hobbies, and distractions). One of my biggest fears is what the original super-sad story above described... being decrepit, helpless, and basically mistreated, robbed and abandoned in my final hours in a shithole hospital in a foreign country 😨


So, since 2022 I have been laying down the groundwork to make my "Final Exit" with some grace and dignity, so that - aside from a sudden fatal accident - there're no such unpleasant surprises like described in the super-sad story above.


Wish me luck! 😎👍🏾

Lpdiver

@ChineduOpara Men plan, God laughs. Good luck.


elp

OsageArcher

El hombre propone y Dios dispone...

nico peligro

@ChineduOpara in Canada you can get what is called MAID ( Eeuthenasia) when you get near that point .


I was Cat Skiing with an 85 year old guy. He lives in Hawaii and cycles around Mona Loa..climbs 5000 feet and travels 50 km on his bike at least 4 times a week.

Beat his son who us 40 years younger in the last bike race.


Though the son was 50 pounds over wieght at the time. He has since lost the wieght.


Oh there was an 83 year old guy in our group as well.

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