Is there a love between a foreign older man and a vietnamese girl

Hey many of you here might be interested in watching this excellent doc that came recently "Seeking Asian Female." Right on the alley here old white guy and young asian girl. love vs. marriage, or maybe it's love != marriage.

trailer here http://vimeo.com/38080781

"If you deceive me one time, I will cut off a finger; if you deceive me two times, I will cut off a toe; if you deceive me a third time, I will take out your eye.
-Sounds funny"

You cant be serious!
The gangster line is on another thread 

Hi wind1989,
How he will start a business, if he doesn't have money even to pay for an air-ticket? Dear, if I were you, I will never marry him not because he is some years older than you but because he doesn't seem stable enough to stand by own foots. You know in our Asian culture, guy must be more stable than the girl.  We have the  'male dominated family' and we love it. Making plans can be done by anyone. But can he achieve them at the right time? My advice is; Please don't waste your young days. We have one life, one youth!

mal wrote:

Hi wind1989,
How he will start a business, if he doesn't have money even to pay for an air-ticket? Dear, if I were you, I will never marry him not because he is some years older than you but because he doesn't seem stable enough to stand by own foots. You know in our Asian culture, guy must be more stable than the girl.  We have the  'male dominated family' and we love it. Making plans can be done by anyone. But can he achieve them at the right time? My advice is; Please don't waste your young days. We have one life, one youth!

Mal has good advice.  Remember money can not buy love but it can buy ice cream!  I love ice cream....

Dear all,

Sorry to say, but frankly speaking, IMO, this girl is not looking for advice nor help from us. She told us clearly that she only interested in money for the sake of her parents but she keeps dragging this issue while she has already knew the facts that he's not rich and make only £500 a month. She should know what to do since she's an educated person (graduated). Go get a rich man, girl! As simple as that.
I think she was just looking for our attention and it works, she got alot! Lol.

Anyway, it is sad to know that such an educated person still have that kind of mindset. I know we are Asian and our family values are very different to western culture. But there are better ways to help your parents. You should stand up for yourself, develop your career, be independent, make your parents and family proud of you because you financially independent and give them a better life without sacrificing your own happiness.

YOLO!!! (You Only Live Once)

Happy Sunday everyone!
-icha-

I don't understand why women like her always want to marry an old guy who can't speak her language, rather than a younger Viet Kieu for example, someone who lives abroad, but can also speak Vietnamese.

If she marries a Viet Kieu, even if she only interest in getting a green card, at least there's some chance she can develop a relationship and have a future with him.  At least by marrying a younger Viet Kieu, he won't be close to death when she hits her 50s.

I know this girl who married an American for a green card, but after they arrived, she realized that she really loved him for real, and she actually stayed with him , going on 4 years now, and they even have a baby together.

Mikeymyke,

She can't hook up with a Viet Kieu.  Unlike with foreign men, the Viet Kieus speak the language and know the culture.  They can ID her type from miles away. 

Even if the Viet Kieu is too westernized, he still has his Vietnamese families and friends.  Dude, those are just too many people to fool...

From what I know, her type tends to prey on older western men.  They don't even want to tango with younger western guys.  Just too much questions and, my favorite, "want too much."

What puzzles me is she is targeting a poor old guy?  The economy, or something, must be really bad?

they target older men because the older men usually have financial security,they can be easier to fool and are also very  satisfied with what they got (a young girl to have sex with and someone who will take care of them at old age) in the last stage of their life. A younger boy needs much more than this. Someone very old has pension and so on. Also, like Wild_1 said, the younger ones will ask some questions and will not tolerate everything. Older guys are simply easier to fool and satisfy.Also another thing:

What puzzles me is she is targeting a poor old guy?

Let's also not forget him and why is he choosing her despite most probably knowing about her intentions.He is far from the only one being fooled here. This is what happens when a man thinks with his lower head. Like that saying goes, there is only enough blood for one of mans heads at a time.Some can't think clearly and delude themselves that such girls love them and some men really don't care if she is a gold digger as long as they get someone and if this someone is so much younger even better. The questions like "Why can't such women try with someone her age,maybe even Viet Kieu or expat?" go both ways. Why cant such old man try it with woman his age,from his county or maybe even Vietnamese? In such cases it is really clear: she wants financial gain and he wants young p***y. Everything else is secondary and they are both willing to sacrifice lots of things to get it. You can see this daily in Vietnam too - just go around and check how many older expats have Vietnamese wives their age? Close to zero (unless she is Viet Kieu and they got married in USA long time ago). Why do they put so much importance on the youth of a girl? Why not someone closer their age and on their intellectual level,just like everywhere in the world? Not hard to guess.. I always crack up when an old guy with much younger girl tries to defend the age gap with the "age is not important in relationship,it's just a number!". What a load of bull,maybe not for the girl but it is the most important factor for those men,that is why they are with such a girl,not with someone closer their age.


I've read some other threads and you have cases like 70year old guy with 27year old girl with kids and how over time she found love for him and blah blah. She is there as long as she and her family is financially taken care of and because the money isn't running out she stays.  If they both don't care for this then so be it. I don't have any respect for women like this though, especially the ones who willingly condemn their kids to being fatherless before they hit teens.Why spend only 10 years of together life with someone you love and get widowed young when you can spend 40? (inheritance maybe? ) Same with those men of course. . It is extremely shortsighted mentality. One more time - prostitution can be much more than just bar girl sitting in some shady bar. You have these kind of prostitutes, then you have GFE's and you have longer term prostitutes who marry for money...
There is another possibility though and it is that some women might just have very low standards and very shitty taste in men (less so in SE Asia where such cases are usually of financial nature).

One more thing: there are a lot of Viet Kieu and Vietnamese girls living and being born in USA or abroad and vast majority of them date men their age,just like any other western girl.The race is the same, the difference is they have different mentality and they a looking for someone who will love them ,not take care of them (and their family). Once you eliminate the financial aspect out of equation the benefit of going with the old guy completely evaporates.

I've been busy for the past several days, so haven't had time to weigh in on this. For the most part, I agree with posts I've read by Wild_1 and Tito12. The one thing neither of you guys have mentioned, however (pardon me if you have, but I missed it), is a quantification of the age difference. How much or little do you deem acceptable? 5 years, 10 years, 15 years? The criteria I used in my own personal situation is, what age difference would my immediate family accept? First of all, regardless of my age, my grown children wouldn't accept my having a girlfriend younger than either of them. My wife is 11 years older than my oldest son, and I'm 13 years older than my wife. Wild_1 says there's indeed no love between the older man / younger woman, but he doesn't define it. Given that he knows both me and my wife, either he thinks we don't love each other, or he thinks our age difference is "acceptable". (What's it gonna be Howie? ) Other than this, my take is the same as many others have posted: The young girl is looking for the money, and the old guy is looking for the young piece. Both are getting what they want, so both are happy, regardless of whether there is love or not. Lastly, I'll say that if money had anything to do with my relationship with my wife, there would be no relationship, because I sure ain't got that much!

The general sentiment expressed here, for good or bad reasons, is why my bf and I get so many cringe worthy moments when we are together, mostly here in Vietnam, but sometimes even in the US. I'm 12 years younger, and also look way young for my age. (am constantly asked by Vietnamese if I'm in college yet). Here for a while, we were playing the game of gold  digger or tour guide or both whenever someone gave us the stink eye. And in the US, sometimes I was tempted to play the fresh off the plane broken English Asian girl part, especially at grocery stores.

I always crack up when an old guy with much younger girl tries to defend the age gap with the "age is not important in relationship,it's just a number!". What a load of bull,maybe not for the girl but it is the most important factor for those men,that is why they are with such a girl,not with someone closer their age.


Agree with most of what Tito says except this part. Lets say a guy is 55, there are not a lot of women around the 45 year old mark that are looking for a date or marriage. Most are sitting at home with mum or the kids and have given up on a relationship.If the woman is widowed, there is a good chance she wont take a new husband as its an old asian tradition. VN has a very young population. so its inevitable that you may meet someone younger. My lady is 17 years younger then me, she is 35 years old and I find that to be no problem at all. Now if you are talking 65 year old with a 23 year old, then that is a totally different situation. At the end of the day, what business is it of ours, we cant go around and tell people what they should be doing. After all, its just our opinion and opinions are like bums, everyone has got one.

colinoscapee,you will hardly find a man with much younger wife that would agree that the age gap is too large. For you 17 is completely normal, for a guy with 25 years younger wife 25 years is normal and so on. There are several men on this forum in the mid-early thirties(which is not so young anymore) and 17 year old gap would mean the girl would be minor which would label these men you-know-what. Then there are men that would be offended if you told them that their 40 years younger girlfriend doesn't really love them and that age gap is too large.

Sure,there are less single women over 40 but there are plenty of divorced ones. Widows can find a new husband after 3 years if I remember correctly,according to tradition. Also lots of men don't marry their girlfriends so no need to marry. In west there are less single women over 35 and 40 too but we still don't see most men over 35/40 running after jailbait instead. There are still plenty of men able to find a soul mate in their age group in west so I am sure it is very doable in SE Asia too. So it's not that there are no older women, it's why choose older when you can have younger?

You are mistaken in that middle aged Vietnamese women (divorced,single,widowed) have given up on relationships or are not interested in finding a partner - I know several women who would be happy if someone would be interested in them.I'm sure there are thousands and thousands of them,not less than in west.  Alas, no one cares about them because in SE Asia there is simply no incentive for a man of any age to date them when women half their age are available on basically every corner. Why date a 40 year old when you can date 20? In a way women themselves dig their own hole in SE Asia by being so easily available for older men because it means that they become completely undesirable once they hit 40ties. So it's not that they don't want relationship, it's they can't find anyone interested. Yes, it's the opposite like you say: it's not that middle aged women are not interested in middle aged/older men, it is that these men are not interested in these women.

Oh,just to be clear, I'm not against it at all but there is no need to have respect for everything that you do not agree with - it is just that we differ on where we draw the line. Yep, dirty harry was right about the opinions

Maybe having kids is one factor for marrying younger. I always dream of having a big family but my fiance is 36 when we get married. My friends laugh when I tell them her age because it's well known men go to Asia to marry younger girls than themselves. Oh well I love her very much and would not have it any other way.

Different strokes for different folks. 

The age gap, if too big, can be a problem.

My young wife and I have 3 lovely children and have the usual ups and downs of marriage, but all in all our relationship is sound.

I know quite a few VN men who also are married to young women, it seems to be not just foreign men doing that

Why all the hue and cry over this issue ?  Haven't we heard frequently of old geezers marrying young chicks. But of course, these are Ve ry very rich businessmen, film directors and the targets are fabulously beautiful famed actresses, models  no less!! So, is that also for love, or some other motive? We also witness many divorces thereafter...

Hugh Marston Hefner       Crystal Harris
April 9, 1926 (age 87)    April 29, 1986 (age 27)

how I wish... when I am 80+ and have all parts working...

ok, Crystal Harris is not Vietnamese. Just to show smart girls are everywhere.

Love is blind. So, sometimes we love a person and see her young though she is actually not. Due to work, I have met a lot of old men, and for me,  an old man is interesting and attractive in his  own ways as he understands life and sees all the differences with tolerance; he knows limitations that he should not exceed and is not easily tempted by new things…(of  course not all are so). Sad but true that I feel myself old when I talk to the guys who are at my age.

Good points Kiku, I have asked some of my friends why they like older men and usually its because they have had life experience. Many say the young guys are very immature and I have to agree. Again this is just generalising, but its what I have found true from so many of my friends and my ladies friends.At the end of the day, people should be with who they want and if its for the wrong reasons, then some day that will rear its ugly head.Lets not forget what the two most common reasons are for divorce the world over, sex and money. So it seems that even in marriages that are built on love, these two come into play.

just what I said in the beginning, what happens to this girl if she popps 1 or 2 out and he takes off who looks after her then and the kids too???? of course it is important!!!

kiku_hana,try talking to foreigners your age then although I do not agree that most young boys are immature,especially the ones who are maybe few years older than you and educated. Boys immaturity is a common complaint of all women around the world but you don't see then dating much older men instead. Also, the older females also have more life experience, understand life,know their limitations etc but the men coming to Vietnam will still go for much younger less-mature more-trouble making and demanding girl - you make a guess why Western girls meet these men too and while they can appreciate their work and personality qualities they don't date them. Have you ever wondered why?

You are way wrong about maturity, limitations and trying new things, if we mean the same things. Yes,in west the older males are more mature but not the type of older men that come to SE Asia. If you haven't lived abroad for years you cant really know this. Go into any bar in PNL and you will see that most immature are the older expats. Cheating, behaving like an boys, changing partners, how they see women in Vietnam etc.. You have no idea what these "mature,experienced,knowing-their-limitations,not trying new things" men that you meet during the day do when they are not at work.I've noticed that a lot of Vietnamese are very naive when it comes to foreigners. I've seen and met all kinds (I am generalizing of course). Sadly I've seen older mixed couples going here together who have been married for 30,40 years only to be divorced few years later because man exchanged wives maturity,tolerance,wisdom for a young piece of ass. SE Asia is known for a reason to be the paradise for such men and they are faaaar from being mature. (Yes,I am also generalizing)

colinoscapee wrote:

Good points Kiku, I have asked some of my friends why they like older men and usually its because they have had life experience. Many say the young guys are very immature and I have to agree.

Interesting how only girls in SE Asia use this kind of reasoning and not girls in other countries. Even Vietnamese girls abroad will not care about this when men is much older. When someone around their age asks girls in Vietnam this question though the answers are much different than the one they tell if older man asks them - it is usually that older men are already financially much more secure than someone who just is young. I've also heard that they are less likely that they fool around but if they only knew...

I agree,everyone can and should live their life according to their wishes (sadly lots of Vietnamese parents will disagree for the wrong reasons).

Tito12, not all are the same. My last word.

Everyone enters a relationship for a reason. Who cares what the factors are be it age, money or sex. Just as long they understand what they are getting into and what the other side expects in the relationship. In the end if both are happy that's all that matters.

kiku_hana wrote:

Tito12, not all are the same. My last word.

true,the same can be said to your immature younger (foreign or Vietnamese) boys comment. We are all generalizing.

khanh44,I agree, this is a forum though and the idea of forum is for people with different opinions to have discussions,especially when someone asks that kind of questions

I am 62 now and have always dated younger women. Younger women have there challenges of course. However, younger women are not yet jaded compared to most older women. They have not experienced a list of failures and disappointments that come with life. Consequently there personalities are fresh, open minded and full of excitement. They also laugh much more easily and more often. They are not set in there ways and can be more open minded. Face it older women are just the opposite except for the occasional few which by the way are probably in a committed relationship. Yes at this point you can compare older women to older men however that is not the topic. Close to this point is the fact that many older women would in fact embrace a younger man if plausible. Also for clarification love is defined as a commitment so yes there can be love between an older man and a younger women. Lust is defined as sex of which many many Western relationships are based on and subsequently fail. So in retrospect an older man can have love and lust with a younger women!!

Winston Churchill once told the story of a man who asked a beautiful educated influenced debutant if she would have sex with him for $20,000 USD. She thought for a second and then she said "yes". The man then asked her if she would give him oral sex for $50 USD of which she replied "What do you think I am!". The man then promptly responded "We have already established what you are my dear and we are now negotiating price!!"

wind1989 wrote:

I am 25 years old... met an older man 55 years old in UK.
I also do not want to marry an foreigner man who used to divorce his wife, he is older 30 years old than me, he is living with his welfare in your country. What can I do now? Please give me the advice.

Coming back to your question...
you have already answered that you DO NOT want to marry him.
Wait for the next man who fits your requirements,
1 Age (won't accept 30years older. Will you accept 20 years older?     How about 50 years older if he is Warren Buffet? Winston Churchil?)
2 Single (NO divorcees! How about widow?)
Good Luck in your search.

I think this topic has been discussed quite for long and there is not much to say so I thought I'll end participating but this solo1 post is just way too tempting to not to respond. solo1 is a perfect example of what I'm talking about.What's more he described how things work nicely by himself in another post and is now serving us just the usual BS reasons so many older men in SE Asia serve. 63 with a gf that is 24 (she was a minor when he was  approaching 60,how creepy is this?),he is probably seen as creep even by those with 15,20 years of age gap here on forum. Personally I can't have any respect for girl (and her parents if they know) like that, in my eyes she is just a long term prostitute (which in a way he admits when he talks about setting allowance limits in the beginning,how his sacrifice is money and his Churchill joke. I mentioned already that it bothers me that such men see women in this way but this is not only their fault - it is due to the easy availability of girls. But girls here will still blabber about how older men are more respectful and other crap.Go figure.). Actually I have more respect for (bar and street) prostitutes because at least they let you know in advance that it is a transaction and they do not pretend it's anything else. Like we see, he (and many of his friends) is seasoned punter in SE Asia with "many relationships" in Thailand.

kiku_hana, I'm guessing this is all this maturity and understanding life and seeing all the differences with tolerance,knowing his limitations that he should not exceed and is not easily tempted by new things that you talk about? I bet if you met solo1 at work he would leave a nice impression on you (he's probably a friendly guy too) but just like I told you,you have way too idealistic idea about the type of older men coming to third world countries. Prostitutes know exactly what men like solo1 want in SE Asia but so many normal girls, like kiku_hana, can be so naive that it is really funny.. Heck,I already got 2 private messages from 2 Vietnamese girls much younger than me wanting to become friends with me yet they have no idea who I am,how old I am,what I do,if I am some predator or nice guy or who knows who.Now how can any man,especially older or the ones who cant find a date in west stay apathetic when young women are practically throwing themselves at us?Why in the world would anyone date women their age,especially if they are as solo1 describes them to be (hint:they aren't,he is just too spoiled by SE Asia). Only in SE Asia. This is how naive girls here can be (or they have other intentions and this is how easy for a man of any age here can be.

What takes zero effort to get also takes very little incentive to keep and fight for. For this reason I stopped dating Vietnamese girls pretty quickly and am now very happy with western girl. (hint for Vietnamese: sarcasm follows)I pity my girl who stays with immature and non-experienced guy when she could date a 60 year old experienced,mature guy just like that 24year old gf of solo1 but hey,it's her loss I guess.Who knows what is wrong with majority of western girls that choose worse than all those SE Asian girls,who are somehow able to see the true qualities that a retired man can bring. The fact that the majority of relationship with large age gap happens to be in poor SE Asian countries is course just a coincidence. (just like it is coincidence that most guys in west with much younger girls are rich and just like it is a coincidence that all those young boys in Africa love all those middle aged overweight white women going there for ..uh..vacation)

I'd like to say again that I am really not against this kind of arrangements,I am even in favor of prostitution,whatever you prefer..It's just I can't just listen to all those BS reasons and excuses we usually get that we all know are a total BS, no matter if it comes from girls or men.

Anyway, here is solo1 telling us what I have been telling all along.I guess by "older man can offer experience and wisdom" he meant he can offer her advises on how to bargain with prostitutes like her so he does not end up paying too much (last paragraph).

I lived in Thailand for 4 years and had many relationships as did my Expat friends. I also have frequented about 25 countries around the world. I found the Thai women to be the most experienced and proficient at absconding money from men.

Now I have been living in Vietnam for 6 months and have a VN girlfriend for about 4 months. I am 62 and she is 24. Older men and younger women both pay "price" for being together. The man's sacrifice happens to be money. The girl gives up the respect of some of her friends and her families neighbors. She also is limited to her activities with her older man in public verses a lover of her own age. I won't belabor the subject as different girls have different attitudes concerning their relationship. Her benefits vary but include a higher standard of living, education, security, peace of mind, a much better future etc.

So what can an older man offer? Experience, wisdom and MONEY. Yes, it is a fact that he must contribute to her financial status or else why would she be with him?  If she wanted to not have all the above mentioned attributes then she would simply find a young VN boyfriend and live on a very meager income with no luxuries at all. How much he gives should be agreed upon from the beginning. There will still be misunderstandings because Expats are considered wealthy no matter what they say or do. Compared to Asian incomes Expats are wealthy and she and her family will automatically ask for more. If you give more they will still ask for more. That's human nature isn't it? So it is up to the man to set the limit and stick to it. Start slow and give more ONLY when you are sure she is serious about you.

I guess I really struck a nerve for you eh? Did it take you long to find my previous post? Guess I flipped your switch even back then!  Ever notice when someone is losing the debate they attack the opponent personally? Point in case you call my current relationship "creepy" and your are so bold as to speak for others on the this forum that I personally am a "creep". Congratulations on your rise to notoriety and stardom. You further state that you have no respect for my gf or her parents and further classify her as a long term prostitute. Driving your point further by having more respect for street prostitutes. I would be angry but not for the absurd presuppositions that you harbor. Your issues run far deeper than your hyperbole judgmental false conclusions concerning me and my lifestyle.

solo1,I never heard of you before,I just clicked on your profile,it takes 5 seconds.

You are a creep and a pervert not only subjectively but also objectively. You are because you can be,I guess you can be happy that SE Asia exists.  There is no way around it,your "girlfriend" is in your granddaughters age.You were forty before she was even born.  Why should I have respect for such girl? Some don't respect prostitutes, some don't respect gold diggers,we all draw line somewhere.  If I was her father and a guy like you would sleaze around her I would smash his nose in,just like EVERY responsible western father would do. If her parents are allowing this then why should I have respect for them? Respect is earned, not given and we all "earn" it with our actions.

You yourself are labeling girls here prostitutes with your own post,I only used a little harsher words and spelled it out. Just reread your post,you describe the transaction/relationship perfectly,you even give some good advices on how to handle those greedy girls and their parents. "The man's sacrifice happens to be money. Yes, it is a fact that he must contribute to her financial status or else why would she be with him?". Exactly, you have just described the classical transaction-based relationship,in other words prostitution.

You have not countered me with arguments.

Yes I know that you are looking for an argument because that is what you feed on. You have NO LIFE and hence use this forum to add validity to your existence. Your accusations are mindless coming from an empty soul. People like you are cowards hiding behind the code name in cyberspace. You have me so frightened with your threats oh dear! oh dear! My comments and viewpoints are honest, straightforward, true and non delusional for all to see and not coming from a hidden agenda like yours.

Solo1 wrote:

Yes I know that you are looking for an argument because that is what you feed on. You have NO LIFE and hence use this forum to add validity to your existence. Your accusations are mindless coming from an empty soul. People like you are cowards hiding behind the code name in cyberspace. You have me so frightened with your threats oh dear! oh dear! My comments and viewpoints are honest, straightforward, true and non delusional for all to see and not coming from a hidden agenda like yours.

Ah,no arguments again,just personal attacks and absurd presuppositions. What did you just say in your previous post? 

Ever notice when someone is losing the debate they attack the opponent personally?

My comments and viewpoints are honest, straightforward, true and non delusional

yep, the one I copied was but the one where you make some stereotypical accusation about older females wasn't,it was the usual BS that older men staying too long in SE Asia serve and that was the only reason I responded. Other than that I have no hidden agenda and I am not interested in what your girlfriend and her sugar-grandaddy do.

I would love to banter with you but perhaps at a later date. My Young Sexy Beautiful GF has prepared dinner for me now. Of course after a time of relaxation we will succumb to the bedroom for an hour of love making. Bye! Bye!

Solo1 wrote:

I would love to banter with you but perhaps at a later date. My Young Sexy Beautiful GF has prepared dinner for me now. Of course after a time of relaxation we will succumb to the bedroom for an hour of love making. Bye! Bye!

Not sure if this is supposed to make me jealous? How can it,in best case I have a meaningful loving life with my western girlfriend and in worst case I end up in my 60ties just like you,chasing some jailbait in SE Asia. I'm a man and men have nothing to fear in SE Asia,not when we are 20,40,60 or 85. There is always some young girl in SE Asia ,who thinks we are much more mature,experienced and faithful because we are older. Little do they know but who cares, right? In the end all you/we have to give out is some printed paper while they,as you put and demonstrated it, have to sacrifice their integrity,respect,the only youth they will ever have and their young bodies.Three cheers for such SE Asian girls as yours

I have no doubt she enjoys sweet lovemaking with a wrinkled guy in his 60ties,her peers must be jealous and her parents must be proud of the life goals their daughter set for herself. Cheers mate and hopefully she doesn't extract too much money out of you just like those bad Thai girls you mentioned!

i think you should not think more about that man.. dont see the present.. just forcast the future.. can he live with u whole life?? love is not only about like someone.. it have many things.. surely u will be in trouble if u will carry this relation..

I have to agree with "Tito12". If you even think about marrying this man, then I would have to say, "Are you out of your mind"? You should not feel obligated in any way just because he helped you learn or improve your English. Do you not have a mind and will of your own? You need to put yourself first. You owe no one, you owe it to yourself to do the right thing. You are 25 years old with your whole life ahead of you!

Listen to your instincts. The fact that you have to ask this question is proof that you don't feel right about it! This guy is a pervert. What the heck! I am sorry if I sound blunt but that is how I roll. I disagree with people when they say age is not important. Oh yes it is! The age difference between you and him is too great. I  could give you several cases where this would not be good for you based on people that I know! There are exceptions but those are few, and are you willing to make that leap into the unknown?

There are too many men not to mention Vietnamese men in Vietnam. Unless you are really set on marrying a foreigner? Set a standard for yourself. Go to school and get educated if you haven't already. Believe in yourself that you are worth so much more.

Just a note, I have a 19 soon to be 20 year old beautiful daughter who is graduating from a university with a B.S.A. next year and is heading for her MBA. She is an awesome independent young woman!

MIA2013 I wonder what you will be, if your folks and you did not take that boat trip years ago, and you grew up in Vietnam like wind1989.
I don't suppose you agree with Crystal Harris.

Miss Saigonmonkey ,

If I had thought of you as someone of lesser courage and character, I would not have allowed you the opportunity to meet me the second time, let alone partying with my Vietnamese clan.  You and your wife are above and beyond the old geezer and gold digger stereotypes.  Well...  That is unless you don't really want to be.  So, what's it gonna be, man?