vietnam girlfriend

You can do anything but dont get caught. There are some hotels which are girl friendly.

As for the kissing, etc. I dont know how to help you on this. Maybe she feels insecure about you at the moment or you didnt take the 1st step.

she doesnt want everything goes fast ^^

You could consider both going to Thailand for a week or so??

Or even into Cambodia and pre book a Hotel as a couple>>.

thanhmai296 wrote:

she doesnt want everything goes fast ^^

Fair enough. If she feels comfortable with him then go ahead

The secret depends on the girl you are dating.  Some even after marriage do not kiss in public. I have a friend who has been married for 4 years, no hand holding or kissing in public.

Some avoid being alone with you, always having a friend or family with them on dates. It may change once a wedding is agreed to or not.

Then there are a few that are more liberal where casual sex is ok.

If you are seeking a longterm relationship with her, be honest and tell her what you are looking for. Listen to what she wants and then you can both make a decision.

Then there are a few that will do anything to be with a westerner. Some will view you as an atm, or a stepping stone to where she can trade up.

There are plenty of hotels that for an extra fee will allow you to have guests.

ancientpathos wrote:

There are plenty of hotels that for an extra fee will allow you to have guests.

I've seen hotels AKA love hotels around HCMC. They charge $50,000-$70,000 per hour.

I think you mean 50,000 to 70,000VND per hour.

perry88 wrote:

I think you mean 50,000 to 70,000VND per hour.

Thats right. Forgot to insert VND. My bad...

[moderated: off topic.]

Thank you everyone. I have never used these forums before and blown away with quick helpfull responses. My gf says she would like to " make out" not sure what that actually means. As for taking her on holiday. Good idea but she gets about one night off a month. I watch her sometimes working so hard in the meals joint its amazing. Never tell me Asian people are lazy.

jacksamau wrote:

Thank you everyone. I have never used these forums before and blown away with quick helpfull responses. My gf says she would like to " make out" not sure what that actually means. As for taking her on holiday. Good idea but she gets about one night off a month. I watch her sometimes working so hard in the meals joint its amazing. Never tell me Asian people are lazy.

Take the initiative & see how it progresses. I wont comment about them. Use your feelings.

I believe shes able to get at least 2-3 days off. She just gotta ask her boss nicely or buy him/her a gift or whatnot. That may help.

The "Gift" will usually do the trick

Thanks a lot. Very comprehensive reply. The gf in question lives is Saigon and I spent all my time there. Not actually for her but because I just loved the family atmosphere of where I was drinking and staying. District 1. I mainly live in BKK and this was such a contrast. Love it and the people but find the rules about who you can sleep with and where very restrictive.

jacksamau wrote:

Thanks a lot. Very comprehensive reply. The gf in question lives is Saigon and I spent all my time there. Not actually for her but because I just loved the family atmosphere of where I was drinking and staying. District 1. I mainly live in BKK and this was such a contrast. Love it and the people but find the rules about who you can sleep with and where very restrictive.

Thats socialist for you...

I prefer Vietnam then Bangkok too. It feels like 2nd home to me.

I've never had any bother at all when with my vn ban gai. I've stayed as a long term tenant at hotels and as long as she brings her papers/ID all's fine. The usual problem is when they assume the  guy is paying for the girl as the hotel owners can get big fines from the cops. This usually occurs if

*The girl is a lot younger
*The girl is a lot prettier
*The girl is scantily clad
*The girl has little to no grasp of the language you're speaking.

Yes it's racist, yes it's wrong and we wouldn't accept it in the west, yes this is a country where people get charged 5 times the price because their skin is white but hey VN is still my 2nd home for a reason.

Good luck man, and get making a move or you'll fall into shopping friend category!

*The girl is a lot younger
*The girl is a lot prettier
*The girl is scantily clad
*The girl has little to no grasp of the language you're speaking

That is true. Judging by that guys pic I assume the girl working at food place is much younger and we can safely assume she is much prettier. If they go together to a hotel in HCMC that has rates per hour and they only stay there for an few hours or maybe only 1 night they will assume it is pay for play. Some might allow it,some won't due to fear of getting into trouble - depends on how much they love $$$.

The "good/normal" and serious Vietnamese girl will NOT go into such hotel just to make out for variety of reasons and might see it as in insult. (I didn't say she won't like to make out ,just that going in such hotels, equating them with hookers, is a no no)But if a girl is willing to go into such hotel for any form of love making then this is a nice indication of the lifestyle she leads,especially in the beginning of the relationship and especially when it comes to (older) foreigners.

Good luck man, and get making a move or you'll fall into shopping friend category!

Even if he makes a move he might fall into this category too - even more so. One of the most common mistakes that many expats assume is that this is the first time and they have unbelievable luck to find a good girl who is willing to go into love making hotel or your place with them for some make out session just because she likes it and has lust just like you. I met several expats who go to a discos and "can't believe" their luck that some "sexy but good" girl approached them of all the people when in west they have no such luck lol.. This might be so in west but not in Vietnam (although times are changing). Yes,some might not charge it like a regular prostitute (such girls know the game,they are very clever ) but sooner or later they will get their "fee" in form of different kinds of luxuries.  It is not the first time for such girls, that is for sure,she is most probably hit on by guys like this all the time. Lots of shit is poured over Vietnamese men with their virgin demands and being strict about getting an "untainted" girl but they know how the game works here,they know how far a little $ can go here. Girls know that their youth and bodies are one of their only "weapons", especially in the country where women over 35 are completely undesirable by Vietnamese and foreigners. Everyone here knows the system.

Of course not everyone is looking for a "good" girl so they might not care as long as they have some fun. If the girl in question is not offended by pay-per-hour hotel (aka hooker friendly hotels) suggestion then she might not be the marriage material but maybe that's not what you are looking for anyway. Most of my post was more in general, not about this specific girl.

thanks for the comment re my pic ..but thats fine.
I think your assuming a lot. I have lived in Thailand for a year, so know a little re the games people play. Nevertheless thankyou for very extensive reply. I'm not pissed off but I'm not stupid. I have looked into this person and yes I know that means FUK all.
In any event I don't invest in dud companies. Maybe some of the people on this have been burnt

Pattaya and Saigon are vastly different and I like both places because of it. Pattaya is like a candy store when I crave female companiomship without the hassles of dating. Please bear in mind it is not all about sex, somethings it is nice to have a short time girl for dinner and conversation.  Even though I pay for their time we really have more of a friendship relationship.  It's like I get treated better because sex isn't on the table.  Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex just want the feeling of wanting each other before I engage in sex.  Maybe I am older ....

thanks re info about Pattaya. I understand. My first ever trip to BKK was last November. Knew no one here and didn't have a clue. I spent first day buying a couple of girls drinks then next day took them and a friend of theirs to Pattaya. Booked 2 rooms and did not even intend to have sex. Anyway it was a blast. We just sat on beach and of evenings went to dinner etc. They really looked after me and it was all very relaxed. The whole 2 day gig was still cheap and was fun.
I Saigon thing is different. I just find that to sleep with someone you are actually having a relationship with just all too difficult. Yes I am sure there are ways around it like paying hotel for two rooms etc. That would all seem sleazy to my friend and actually to me as well. As you said it ain't all about sex. In fact I would be planning to just let that side of the equation happen. It just ridiculous. For example, once when we were out on the bike we got caught in a downpour. She had pastic covers on and I got soaked. When we got to my hotel for me to change shower etc. She had to wait on the street.

Sounds like you have the right attitude for finding a good relationship. I enjoy the VN girls overall attitude vs Thai girls. My VN GF and I dated for over a month before we had sex. Then she always had to go home and could not spend the night. I also had to agree to meet her parents at dinner for an introduction. So your statement about them not wanting casual sex is correct. I think you need to question different hotel policies. I always stay at the same hotel in Dist 1 and they allow daytime visitors with no problem. There  is a charge for overnight guests but not to book a separate room.

Thanks for that it sounds far more positive to what I am feeling at present. I think if I had gone to Vietnam first I would of stayed there. I have made friends in BKK and I actually it there. Saigon I can see people would fall in love with. I drink in Bui Vien street at a cafe joint and next to it there is a family with a food business. Just to see the simple life and so many young children and babies about. It makes me jealous in some ways that our lives in the west is so different. We give our kids Ipads and have videos mounted in the rear seats of the SUV to keep them quiet. I wonder why I have so many plasmas at home. These places make you live in the moment. So I ave finished with work and call Asia my new home.

jacksamau wrote:

Thanks for that it sounds far more positive to what I am feeling at present. I think if I had gone to Vietnam first I would of stayed there. I have made friends in BKK and I actually it there. Saigon I can see people would fall in love with. I drink in Bui Vien street at a cafe joint and next to it there is a family with a food business. Just to see the simple life and so many young children and babies about. It makes me jealous in some ways that our lives in the west is so different. We give our kids Ipads and have videos mounted in the rear seats of the SUV to keep them quiet. I wonder why I have so many plasmas at home. These places make you live in the moment. So I ave finished with work and call Asia my new home.

As a matter of fact, kids nowadays play with IPAD, LAN gaming, etc while kids my time plays in the rain, spiders, drains, marbles, getting ourselves all dirty. This is called childhood IMO.

Singapore is long gone having those & me going to VN relive those memories....

Apologies for the off topic

jacksamau

You have a good attitude and outlook on life in general. Take things as they come and don't stress.

I am married with family in Laos. No kissing or displays of effection in public there. Against the law here to have an unmarried lady stay with you. Got fined $300 for it.

It delights and surprises me,to see some on this forum with such a positive atitude to the V N way of life, so much of thier way reminds me of my child hood and how kids in the west are missing out

jacksamau wrote:

Thanks for that it sounds far more positive to what I am feeling at present. I think if I had gone to Vietnam first I would of stayed there. I have made friends in BKK and I actually it there. Saigon I can see people would fall in love with. I drink in Bui Vien street at a cafe joint and next to it there is a family with a food business. Just to see the simple life and so many young children and babies about. It makes me jealous in some ways that our lives in the west is so different. We give our kids Ipads and have videos mounted in the rear seats of the SUV to keep them quiet. I wonder why I have so many plasmas at home. These places make you live in the moment. So I ave finished with work and call Asia my new home.

Coincidentally I was thinking something similar to this while at work. How in my childhood in Canada my family would meet regularly every week for food gathering and singing. The kids like me would regularly play outside. Life was so simple because we had tube tvs, Atari and Commodore 64. Dial-up internet as I was growing up. No cell phone growing up. No texting.

But slowly as technology gets better people get more isolated. It hasn't hit Vietnam fully yet due to economic situation so I guess we can enjoy it while we can.

Oh if the girl wants to make out with you that's usually a sign she's committed to you unlike in the Western countries where girls make out so freely you don't know if it's a short-term or long-term relationship.

Never had problem bringing friends up in the hotel room during the day. If she is staying the night, her passport given to the clerk is OK. Might be true of the past, but nowaday most hotel don't say nothing.

khanh44 wrote:

jacksamau wrote:

Thanks for that it sounds far more positive to what I am feeling at present. I think if I had gone to Vietnam first I would of stayed there. I have made friends in BKK and I actually it there. Saigon I can see people would fall in love with. I drink in Bui Vien street at a cafe joint and next to it there is a family with a food business. Just to see the simple life and so many young children and babies about. It makes me jealous in some ways that our lives in the west is so different. We give our kids Ipads and have videos mounted in the rear seats of the SUV to keep them quiet. I wonder why I have so many plasmas at home. These places make you live in the moment. So I ave finished with work and call Asia my new home.

Coincidentally I was thinking something similar to this while at work. How in my childhood in Canada my family would meet regularly every week for food gathering and singing. The kids like me would regularly play outside. Life was so simple because we had tube tvs, Atari and Commodore 64. Dial-up internet as I was growing up. No cell phone growing up. No texting.

But slowly as technology gets better people get more isolated. It hasn't hit Vietnam fully yet due to economic situation so I guess we can enjoy it while we can.

Oh if the girl wants to make out with you that's usually a sign she's committed to you unlike in the Western countries where girls make out so freely you don't know if it's a short-term or long-term relationship.

ATARI!!!! This is classic, mate. Last time I remember me playing Micro Genius console.

As for your last sentence, VN is going on this path too, where they make out freely. Not all, but miniority.

I never got asked when I was staying with my fiance in the same room in Vung Tau. Though I think if a non-Vietnamese guy was with a Vietnamese girl you'd get question a lot though.

Thanks re advice with hotel. I am back in Saigon in 6 weeks so will just ask the hotel up front. Main thing is I don't want my friend embarrassed. Like a lot of the girls outside of bars etc she is shy and does not speak much English . Again ta for advice

Oh if the girl wants to make out with you that's usually a sign she's committed to you unlike in the Western countries where girls make out so freely you don't know if it's a short-term or long-term relationship

ah dear khanh44 ,you don't know much about SE Asian girls and you could not be more wrong on this one! In SE Asia it doesn't mean anything and it is heavily dependent on who the man is. I have met thousands of expats and I have yet to meet a single one, even those in 80ties, that would not be able to find some form of date (which at some point also includes making out) here. It is absolutely wrong to assume that these girls are committed just because they make out with their partners.  I have seen maaaaaaany more cases of Vietnamese/Thai girls having multiple partners and not being committed to one man (or having short "relationship" after another relationship) than the girls in the west. The western girls have sex with you or make out with you because they like you or she likes to make out. In Vietnam it's not like this ,especially if a man is much older or if the girl wants to have a Vietnamese husband in the future. It's like lostsouls said,it's going there but right now girls like that are in minority.

Just to see the simple life and so many young children and babies about. It makes me jealous in some ways that our lives in the west is so different. We give our kids Ipads and have videos mounted in the rear seats of the SUV to keep them quiet. I wonder why I have so many plasmas at home. These places make you live in the moment.

Believe me that majority of Vietnamese would give their kids the same if they could afford it. Vietnamese teens are constantly glued to their mobile phones and chats. Those not doing this are liek this bev Somehow related story : I remember once telling a Vietnamese girl that I really respect female street sellers, female thrash collectors, female lottery ticket sellers who do these kinds of jobs and not take the easy way of being just some concubine for some (expat) guy and her answer was sobering: ah, they would do it too if they weren't ugly.

The reality you see on streets is not like this because "they  know what is important unlike us westerners", it is like this because they don't really have the other option.

K, I'm lost so I'm wrong but it's in the minority?  Why does everything gets construed as the end all be all. First Asia now this.

Exactly like you said if she wants to make out with you it could be a sign she wants you as her husband. Girls in the country-side are more conservative than the ones in the city.

I'm just saying it's a sign she's ready to committ. It's not easy for some girls to agree to make out before marriage.

Again just take it as one of those silent women signal that she's ready to take the relationship to another level and being an asian girl it's usually a stronger signal.

khanh44,like I said,it depends on the man ,the girl and the situation. Girls ANYWHERE in the world are much more likely to make out with a (hot) guy their age than a wrinkled guy in their grandparents age for lust as opposed to some financial benefit in the short or long term.

A girl in west usually makes out because she likes it or if she wants to take the relationship to another level.

You are right, many girls in SE Asia usually make out if they are really serious about you (virginity is still very important in Vietnamese culture, like it or not) but in a lot of cases she does so because of some form of the financial compensation. She is committed, not for love or lust but financial gain. So a girl making out with you might also be a sign that she is willing to do this for a short time benefit to her. I don't know if you are aware but there are hundreds do thousands of men going to Thailand or Vietnam for short vacation and most of them can find a girl that will travel with them and make out with them in one form or another .That is not a sign of commitment,they know that a guy is going home in days or weeks and they know that these man are not looking for commitment So a girl making out with you in SE Asia doesn't mean she is committed in long term at all.

Ah I misunderstood you. I know about the ones where guys go on vacation to find girls to make out. And those girls will do it for financial reasons.

I was referring to Jack's girlfriend without thinking broadly. I'm assuming because he refers her as his girlfriend they've been together for a while and he's not some in and out of the country sort of guy scanning for some girl to make out with. And his girlfriend likewise.

I was referring to Jack's girlfriend without thinking broadly. I'm assuming because he refers her as his girlfriend they've been together for a while and he's not some in and out of the country sort of guy scanning for some girl to make out with. And his girlfriend likewise.

ah dear khanh44,you are so naive once again about why so many older expats visit Thailand and Vietnam. Maybe NOT in this case specifically (although many signs are there) but in general.

Tito12 wrote:

I was referring to Jack's girlfriend without thinking broadly. I'm assuming because he refers her as his girlfriend they've been together for a while and he's not some in and out of the country sort of guy scanning for some girl to make out with. And his girlfriend likewise.

ah dear khanh44,you are so naive once again about why so many older expats visit Thailand and Vietnam. Maybe NOT in this case specifically (although many signs are there) but in general.

Because I don't think everyone is a pervert without knowing them makes me naive very well than I'm naive. I rather give the benefit of the doubt rather. What he/she makes of it is their business.

We should get together for a beer sometime when I'm in Vietnam. We have such differences of opinions and views it be an interesting conversation to have with you.

Bells bells I am not that  naive . I live in BKK and have been here now 10 months. I am we'll aware of some of the motives. Bottom line is sometimes things can benefit  both sides of the equation. As someone put it a wrinkly old man and much younger woman. Sometimes these men are more genuine and supportive than the younger studs you refer to. Often they have been there done that anyway we have changed the topic. I don't need advice for anyone about pit falls.
I can analayze those for myself.

Its all cool, everybody.

i was in relationships with vn gal, we rent hotel several times, but in some cases they would ask us to show them marriage license, vietnam is a bit restrict compare to other part of asia

It is Vietnam's way to curb prostitution.
A word of caution. It is the locals who pay the penalties. The reception at the front desk AND your Vietnamese girlfriend involved (unless you have  a copy of your marriage certificate!)
I would be more careful to try to outsmart the authorities.