Filipinas who develop a bad attitude when they marry a foreigner

Sad as I enjoyed her input here.

Cheers, Steve.

@Moon Dog, I'm the one that said finding a girl on a dating site is like hitting the lottery. And it is. I prefer to meet them in person, like many other people. A little face-to-face substance goes a long way. I do agree with your religious statement. I'm agnostic, also, and do not entertain it. I think your statement on online dating is your opinion only. You're welcome to that. That doesn't mean you're right.

Live long and prosper.

Lonely Wolf NYC

@Moon Dog, I'm the one that said finding a girl on a dating site is like hitting the lottery. And it is. I prefer to meet them in person, like many other people. A little face-to-face substance goes a long way. I do agree with your religious statement. I'm agnostic, also, and do not entertain it. I think your statement on online dating is your opinion only. You're welcome to that. That doesn't mean you're right.
Live long and prosper.

Lonely Wolf NYC
-@LoneWolfNY

It is your statement that online dating is like hitting the lottery that is an opinion and a very rude and hateful statement to the thousands who have found what they were looking for on a dating site. It is your opinion since you have no way of backing it up. You know nothing about online dating but you make these totally bogus statements that you pull out of thin air (or a darker place). How can it be my opinion when the dozens of Fil/Am couples we know from Houston all met online and I found my perfect match online and my wife's sister found her husband online?  I’ve read several posts from expats on this forum who met their wife online. If you browse to the Cherry Blossoms dating site you will see a guy named Doug on the front page twice with two different wives he met on that site. It may seem like a scam but I know Doug personally and I knew his first wife who died of cancer. After a mourning period Doug went right back on the dating site and found a beautiful and educated lady and they are very happy. I never said online dating is the best all-around method of meeting, I said it was what worked for me and many others. If you make a statement that you cannot back up with evidence, that is an opinion, that is the very definition of opinion.

Does online dating rub you the wrong way because it is not your preferred method of meeting? Why must it be your way only? I don't care how people meet and I'm not going to make a fool out of myself publicly proclaiming that face to face meetings are dangerous and pretending to be an expert on the matter. Face to face meeting is probably an excellent way to meet a girl and until I have evidence to the contrary my opinion on face to face meetings will be positive and I will not try to belittle those who have met face to face. Online dating only adds one step to the face to face meeting and it is a very important step for me.

@Moon Dog, I'm the one that said finding a girl on a dating site is like hitting the lottery. And it is. I prefer to meet them in person, like many other people. A little face-to-face substance goes a long way. I do agree with your religious statement. I'm agnostic, also, and do not entertain it. I think your statement on online dating is your opinion only. You're welcome to that. That doesn't mean you're right.
Live long and prosper.

Lonely Wolf NYC
-@LoneWolfNY

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Lone Wolf NYC I think you hit a raw nerve in Moon Dog.

Finding a girl on a dating site is easy, I watched an overweight gross guy on Youtube claim he had over 200 responses within minutes. The caveat is finding good one and that the relationship will stand the test of time.

The blistering response you received is from that guy who:

(1) Claimed Love is a bad reason to marry.

(2) Married his wife knowing her 3 or 4 weeks.

(3) While in the states watched and monitored his wife on a camera. (24/7 ?)

(4) He dreamed of taking his first wife for a boat ride to the shipping channel in the Delaware river wrapped in a chain link fence and throwing her overboard because he loved her so much.

(5) His words QUOTE: For the Memory impaired folks he met his wife on Cherry Blossoms.

“CherryBlossoms has a rating of 2.21 stars from 28 reviews, indicating that most customers are generally dissatisfied with their purchases. CherryBlossoms ranks 50th among Asian Dating sites.

Cherry Blossoms is a legit site - it's been around for decades. But fair warning: Be prepared to put in some time weeding out scammers and fake profiles.”

One also wonders how much of an A/hole the searcher is, 2 sides to every story and only from my observation that many complain but don't look in their own back yard, expect a foreign culture to align with one eyed beliefs instead of understanding and embracing the country/culture you/we chose to live in.

Only an observation but western partners are far nastier than Filipinos.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

@FilAmericanMom You have a common landlord problem. I have been a landlord for over 30 years and have run across these types from time to time. Its a universal problem with tenant attitudes. Same in every country. Choose your tenants more carefully and you'll get less problems

    Thank God I'm an atheist so don't ask me to comment about the good Lord.
The difference between Aesop and the Bible was that Aesop was honest calling them fables.
   

    -@Gezzar

Whoa Gezzar....

Wars are fought for money, land and religion.

Your comment is implying negativity on a religion.

    I'm reading that many atheists do not get married. My daughter is an atheist and married to an atheist. They have been together since high school and have a great relationship. My son in law has his own business and does very well. Early on he kept his money in a safe because he didn't trust banks but the safe got to small so he was forced to open a bank account. He paid his own health insurance until premiums got to expensive so they were forced to get married so my daughter could add him to her health insurance. They were married at a JP court.
According to "The Knot" only 22% of marriages were performed in a church in 2017. That is down from 41% in 2009.

"Religious institutions like churches hosted only 22 percent of weddings in 2017, according to The Knot, a major wedding planning website. That’s down almost half from 2009, when 41 percent of weddings were at religious institutions.

In 2017, 15 percent of weddings were at barns, farms, or ranches. Fourteen percent were at historic homes. Seventeen percent were at a banquet hall. Hotels (12 percent) and country clubs (12 percent) were also popular.

“Additional popular nontraditional reception sites include beach houses, wineries, rooftops, museums, and parks,” says The Knot.

And pastors now have competition when it comes to officiating at weddings.

Forty-three percent of couples had a friend or family member officiate at their wedding in 2016, according to a previous study by The Knot. That’s up from 29 percent in 2009."
   

    -@Moon Dog

I heard some couples got married at Walmart and McDonald's.

@Moon Dog     Hateful!  How woke are you  ..    I met my filipina on a dating site and i find no offence at all it that statement.   Why not find a safe space if your feelings are hurt .  What is hateful about stating an opinion that your delicate feelings can't stomache. 

Nice introduction fred46, you will go far.

Cheers, Steve.

@bigpearl  Go far!  you mean you think you have gone far.    Woke is a cancer mate.     I guess by spending  your time making over 2000  posts puts you in the category of 'far').  Far too much time on your hands mate.   

@fred46

As a plebian I see the term "woke" as the cancer, next month it will be "awaken".

BTW welcome to the forum.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

@Jackson4Who cares if there is "negativity" on religion?  To each their own... I don't buy into the religion thing either.

@bigpearl  I was being ironic  Pearly my friend.  Bad attitude on the other side )  I developed one )

@fred46😎🌴👍

Daniel Reed54 said. . . . Who cares if there is "negativity" on religion?  To each their own... I don't buy into the religion thing either.

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They ain't make Jews like Jesus anymore. (Quote seen on FB)

     Woke is a cancer mate.     

Good to have a MD available.

Personality abounds here.

@Peter Clark

I am new here Peter. I agree with you. I actually did a capstone paper on intercontinental marriages. For Americans, tge Filipina marriages are the most successful. I am not young and refused to consider anyone more the 25 years younger than me. Raising a daughter and trying to make a wife if her is asking for disaster.

I have been married to the best women for me from Davao 5 years now. The adjustment for her was tough. Maturity gave me the patience of Jobe...lol. when we lived and traveled together there, I was the problem. I had to adjust to the culture.

I met a group of ex-pats and those that chose wisely were happy. Then there was those that married h a lf their age and the relationships were not the greatest.

I found it is no different than the women here. My father always told me choose wisely. Look at her mother, that is where she gets her training and values. My first marriage lasted 38 years and it was not a wise choice to start. I can't blame her for my not vetting better.

This time my new wonderful wife and I vetted each other thoroughly. We had frank conversations on unacceptable behaviors that would destroy the relationship. Having studied some about the culture helped tremendously. I do not try to change her and support her emotionally to the culture here.

She rarely associates with other Filipina's by choice. She says that her life experience in the philippines and Hong Kong has taught her it rarely works out well. This is her decision not my influence.

She does not tolerate her family or friends asking for money, or their unacceptable behavior in any form.

I find you get what you ask for and must do your do diligence to expect a happy life. 😊 I know there are always horror stories everywhere. I think people have to recognize when they receive the results of bad choices. I worked for the airlines and traveled almost 2 decades. I find there are good and bad all over the world. Very few places will you precious stones laying on the ground,  you have to put on effort to know the signs to know when to dig...lol.

Yes we are the fortunate ones.

Yes Peter and Van, slowly the wheels turn and patience pays off, no complaints after 13 years.

Van my better half turned 33 a couple of days ago while I'm 64, seems to work and only an observation age seems to matter little here in PH. Simply need to vet and find your soul mate.

Many of us are fortunate while others suffer.

Cheers, Steve.

What we all need is a regular meetup with our own "species" and preferably without wives who mess things up. I,ve done it two times and we guys enjoy the chance to chat whilst the lady wives do the same on an adjoining table. Sadly the wives are from different backgrounds and gossip abounds someimes heated arguments occur and that spoils things for the guys. The wives must realise that us expats NEED the therapy of our own sort and stay out of the meeting!

Interesting take Peter and each to their own, personally I steer well clear of expats in a big way as I learnt many years ago that we have nothing in common except big heads that turn into disagreements and the partners are sitting there saying nothing and listening to the bull we generate (the lord only knows what they are thinking) in an expat group, if you need a rub on the back from expatriates then fine, for me I'm happy with the Filipinos and culture with all its ups and downs, if I didn't like I would go back to Australia, Italy perhaps and hear the same crap there. Maybe because I am a bit of a hermit and don't suffer fools lightly and at 64 need no more, we are surrounded by wealthy expats here that constantly invite us to gatherings and parties, most times we decline with the excuse sorry we have guests coming or we are off to a birthday party with Bens family,,,,,, they leave us alone now thank God.

My outlet is here on an expat site, sad maybe but works for us, no complications.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

Steve............well said.

Stu

Stu, as said each to their own and comfort zones over needs/wishes.

Only for me, perhaps others? The locals are far more pleasant to deal with than my own compatriots let alone extra foreign cultures and idealisms.

Happy here and stay we will doing our stuff.

Cheers, Steve.

I find that many of the expats exist under their partners thumb and that's odd since the very existence exists from the expats purse strings, not always the case but almost. I love my wife dealy and respect her wishes and she would not stop me doing anything even if it was against her wishes.  I want a guy to sit with me on my maiden canoe trip over Taal lake and have had 3 refusals so far after they conferred with wife?

Of course making all the decisions means that any mistakes are all yours......

          I would not have to confer with my wife to refuse a canoe trip across Lake Taal.  I liked meeting with other expats from 2017 up until the pandemic.  One guy from Virginia died last year and the Brits and Canadians have not gotten together this year, they told me nothing was planned so far.  We used to meet about once a month for a 3 hour lunch meeting including the mates, was all very peaceful and a good break from the daily Filipino routine.  We first met at a cemetary on 11/1/17, hope to see them again, saw the Virginian"s widow at Sunday Mass in October.  She seems ok.

Like Peter. Golly and gosh I have not ventured across Taal lake for 12/13 years and the donkey ride up to the rim, an interesting time but have my doubts I would do it in a canoe, that was then and when Taal blew its top Ben was flying back into Manila from Australia and watched the sad events unfold through the plane window, he showed me the pics, one of the last flights in.

We all have choices and mentioning under the partners thumb works both ways no matter the country/relationship, finding a middle ground is more palatable for all. Give and take. Some prefer to be dominated but neither of us,

Sharing the decisions together and consensually  is more favorable, arguments and all becomes a shared choice and no one is to blame, a partnership, a loving relationship, I don't dictate to Ben and visa versa.

As per the OP, bad attitudes are not just for Filipinos but all nationalities, simply find the right one.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

@Ponani

I agree with you.  People are the same all over the world in general.  You have good ones and then those that leave something to be desired.

I am a grandfather now here in the USA. I have old school values and we never grew up entitled. My father always told us: "there, but for the grace of God go I". I recognize the challenges people face having traveled with airlines over my many years. Here in the states i've met plenty of people that feel entitled and they don't control their children either, which was mention in an earlier post.

My wife, who is a Filipina to her heart, has worked overseas and does not believe in entitlement. She is still humble even though she has a first class job here. She varies seldom barlow's with filipino people because of the complaints here. She says they tend to be jealous and do not have each other's best interest at heart.

As she is here and disects the traditions of her culture and recognizes the local traditions versus the reality, she has no problem with calling out some of the nonsense. She has told her mother stop spending money that she doesn't have feeling people who cannot help her and never will. She's told her brothers and sisters that they need to get a job before they ask for money for anything. And they need to save for an emergency fund rather than call her. She was fed up with many of the traditions when I met her. I think a lot of this is due to her spending twenty two years working overseas. She was exposed too many different ideas.

I have found that in general people are nice. I trust but verify. I don't waste my time with people who have no future. I now teach people to fish and refuse the fish for them. When we finally retire and move back to the Philippines. It will be a jumping off point for travel and nothing more.

I do not expect it to change because those in power are able to take advantage of things as they are. I look at the damage done by the spanish 300 year occupation with their  social structure and titles. Most european colonies are still backwards and in poverty and in constant flux.

I see the influence of our 40 of occupation. I see the chinese influence. All these things taking into consideration. It will be a long time before it is a first world nation. Education plays a fair roll and that begins at home.

I personally also have first nation heritage here and see the same issues in the first nations. My father said we have to define ourselves through our be. Hate you and we are responsible for educating ourselves by whatever means are available to us.