Sad....

drink something is ok hihi

Yup it seems alright for a mood not well.

Oh Dear , here we go again !!

How many ways/solutions to against sadness and tears....?

Become a Nun

Happy8888 wrote:

Become a Nun

Thank you

u will forget anything when u drunk but after that ....

Hi jjk,

First of all it is important to know that NOBODY can make us happy, sad, angry, worried or anything else at all UNLESS WE OURSELVES LET THEM. We are in control of and responsible for our own emotions. We feel those emotions because we choose to and not because we simply have to.

If you're feeling sad, and chances are that is a sign of situational depression, then you should look inside yourself and ask, "Why am I letting myself feel this way?"

So let's talk about depression, specifically situational depression. What is it? Simply put, it is a chemical imbalance in the body brought about by some situation/event that has happened. It doesn't even have to be a bad event. Strangely enough even things that we consider good can be enough of a stressor to bring on situational depression.

Now you have to understand that depression is a physical problem, not any kind of mental problem. It is just the body's way of reacting to some physical stress. It can be cured quite easily and treated in a number of ways. Of course this depends on you recognizing the signs of depression and then seeking medical treatment for it. Chances are without intervention it's not going to go away by itself.

Since you're a female I'd suspect that either you've got some simple hormonal imbalance or that you've recently gone through some situation like a break up with someone, difficulty adjusting to a new place or the like that has stressed you and cause you to feel depressed. You isolate yourself and continue to focus on the problem, which only makes it that much worse.

Go out, do things that you enjoy. Do things you maybe didn't have time for before or didn't take time for. Do things that don't remind you of the stressing situation or the person it relates to (if it's a break up). That will go a long way to helping resolve the problem. The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself.

Go see your doctor and discuss the problem with him/her. Likely you will be prescribed a mild anti-depressant and that will soon put you back up on top. You may have to experiment with a few different medications, because they don't all work for all patients, nor do they all have the same effect on all patients. So, don't get frustrated and think your doctor doesn't know what he/she is doing. The experimentation process is part of the cure that everyone must go throught unless their doctor gets lucky and picks the right medication first time around. Don't be an impatient patient! LOL

There is another thing that you should know about these stressors, they generally bring on a loss of self image and self worth. This can be reduced greatly by what is called "positive self-talk".

We all find it easy to see our faults and defects. We never see ourselves as others see us because when we look into the mirror that image is distorted by all our faults and defects, essentially we're using a warped mirror. Others see us quite differently because they aren't looking at those defects and faults (unless they're really obvious). So, we have to find that "perfect mirror" to see ourselves through. One way to do that is so simple it sounds crazy, but it really works.

Start today, make a list of 5 things you like about yourself and then repeat it out loud. Don't just read it, say it like you feel it deep down inside your skin. (not too hard)

Tomorrow, take that list and add 5 more things (must be different) and repeat the whole list out loud. (getting harder)

The following day add 5 new things you like about yourself and say it out loud. (getting harder still)

Every passing day you need to add 5 new and different things to the list and repeat the whole list out loud. (now you see each day gets even more difficult)

But, do you know what? In very short order doing this will boost your self image, self esteem and you'll find that you're no longer feeling sad and depressed. Try it, it really works and in a matter of a couple of weeks you'll be surprised to find that when you look into the mirror there is going to be someone completely different than the one you expected to be looking back at you.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

Oh, and stop drinking alcohol...... it's a depressant and will only make your problems even worse. In fact the alcohol and drinking too much could even be the source of all your perceived problems.

Please don't confuse CNS depressants (such as alcohol or Valium) with depressive disorders (Central Nervous System depression vs psychological depression). Although the terms come from the same source, they are unrelated.

In many cases, if depressive disorders also include anxiety or panic attacks (which can be common), CNS depressants can help calm the afflicted. Those who suffer from anxiety disorders may self-medicate with alcohol, and although alcohol comes with its own set of problems, the most recent research seems to indicate that alcohol neither causes nor cures depression.

I hope, Matthias, that you're aware that the vast majority of the medical community disagrees with you completely.

The use of alcohol is never acceptable for any depressive disorders. Just ask any medical professional, they'll all tell you exactly the same thing. Don't drink

If you read the post we're not saying the depression is caused by drinking, it's saying that if you're depressed drinking alcohol will only exacerbate the problems.

Hellooooooooooo!!!

MatthiasB wrote:

In many cases, if depressive disorders also include anxiety or panic attacks (which can be common), CNS depressants can help calm the afflicted. Those who suffer from anxiety disorders may self-medicate with alcohol, and although alcohol comes with its own set of problems, the most recent research seems to indicate that alcohol neither causes nor cures depression.

First of all, one should NEVER self-medicate with alcohol or any other substance for that matter. You shouldn't embark upon any course of treatment without first consulting a medical doctor. To do (or to advise someone else to do so) could have disasterous results.

Furthermore, taking alcohol in combination with any other drugs could prove fatal.

Regarding this "recent research", I'd take it with a huge grain of salt since the studies have for the most part been commissioned by distillers and breweries and not conducted independently by medical schools and the like.

Sounds to me like you're employed by some marketing firm associated with one of them!

If you're not going to offer concrete solutions for the OP's problem, then please don't suggest to her that it's OK to keep on drinking. If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem." Like the old saying goes.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

Ever see anyone whose life was improved by drinking?  Neither have I.  Maybe a glass of beer helps some people loosen up but it doesn't sound like you're talking about a glass of beer.

You think you're depressed now?  Wait till you lose your close relationships and your job and your house to your drinking.  You ain't seen nothing yet. 

Find a gym.  Get someone to help you work up an exercise routine.  Go work out 4-6 days a week, NOT "monday wednesday friday."  You'll feel vastly better in a month, I guarantee it. 

Alcohol just exacerbates emotional problems, when it doesn create them ex nihilo.

CanThoCurmudgeon,

All I can add to your spot on comment is a hearty.............. AMEN!!!

Thank for your advices a lot.

No thanks are necessary sweetheart, just follow the advice I've given you and you'll be feeling much different soon, I guarantee it!

That will be all the thanks I ever need.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

wjwoodward wrote:

No thanks are necessary sweetheart, just follow the advice I've given you and you'll be feeling much different soon, I guarantee it!

That will be all the thanks I ever need.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

I felt so bad and wrote something here without expecting if there would be someone cared such my mood. But it's lucky and surprised for me coz of all advices of you and everyone here.
This also supported me a little bit!
I'll try!

wjwoodward wrote:

Sounds to me like you're employed by some marketing firm associated with one of them!

The first and desperate claim if you wish your opinion to be unchallenged. To you, I say, "Go forth in your ignorance".

To others, I suggest you read up on it a little more. Although (as I said before) alcohol has its own set of problems, depression IS NOT ONE OF THEM. The theory that alcohol causes depression stems from the oppressive american religious organisation known as AA. Alcoholics Anonymous has a very high recidivism rate for this very reason - they are attempting to cure an addiction to alcohol, when they should be examining why individuals are self-medicating.

And despite what mr dismissive says, there is a lot of research - not funded by the alcohol industry - which indicates there is no CAUSAL link between alcohol and depression, either positive or negative. Don't take my word for it - do the research yourself.

I will quite happily encourage people to drink - not only does it help in the short term for depression (situational or organic), but it is fun. Have a good time, maybe talk garbage to people, and often you will feel better for it. Just don't make a habit of it, as alcoholism can make things worse, as CanThoCurmudgeon pointed out.

Matthias,

You're entitled to your opinion, whatever that may be. I respect that.

I too have the same right and nobody is forced to accept the opinion of anyone else. However, I will point out one thing as a representative of Expat-blog, that any kind of counselling or advice that could bring harm (physical or otherwise) to another member is a violation of Expat-blog Terms and Conditions of Use. If you're at all suggesting that it's OK for the original poster to continue drinking if she is already depressed I'd seriously re-evaluate my concepts if I were you. Your comments are not at all related to the OP's posting or her problem, but rather an expression of your own viewpoint on alcohol comsumption and therefore extremely OFF TOPIC. Again, if you're not going to offer to help or give moral support to the OP I would seriously question your motives for posting here at all, other than possibly just to stir the pot! You're entitled to your own opinion, that doesn't mean any of us need to accept it and you can express it without digressing into personal attacks. I would recommend that you read the Vietnam Forum Code of Conduct, with special attention to the clause regarding opinions.

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=190521

Again, unless you have the details of these so-called recent studies that you can link to the conversation so we can all read them and make informed decisions I'd be extremely careful about the kind of information (or misinformation) that you post on the forum boards. And your medical degree or other qualifications would be....????

Cheers,
William James Woodward, Expat-blog Experts Team

MatthiasB wrote:

I will quite happily encourage people to drink - not only does it help in the short term for depression (situational or organic), but it is fun. Have a good time, maybe talk garbage to people, and often you will feel better for it. Just don't make a habit of it, as alcoholism can make things worse, as CanThoCurmudgeon pointed out.

I wasn't going to respond to this but since wjwoodward already did I want to add a few things. 

First, this is a deeply irresponsible advocacy.  It's not "okay" for someone who has already confided emotional problems to be encouraged to palliate them with alcohol.  That's really bad advice.  The potential for relief is a drop in the ocean of the potential for harm.  Come on, man.  She's at high risk. 

Second, I already admitted the utility of alcohol in moderation as a social lubricant; for some people, just enough will loosen inhibition and lead someone who might otherwise be tongue-tied with shyness to become briefly more extroverted.  I concede this.  But at the very best this should be like training wheels on a bicycle, enabling an inborne sense of equilibrium, not a permanent and ongoing dependency!  Develop some social skills, and be able to loosen up without beer.  Training wheels are temporary.

Third is the use of alcohol as a pretext for having friends at all.  People who need to sell themselves as drinking partners are as much as saying "I have nothing to offer as a person, so accept me as a fellow in cups."  This is pretty sad stuff.  We all have lives, experiences, depths, individual observations, and anyone who feels he needs to bribe his way to companionship probably needs some help, maybe even intervention, because the subtext is "I am inauthentic."  People should be able to meet and get to know each other without a pretext.  Without an excuse.

Fourth, and I will not go deep into this, while yes, the anxiety and stress relief of alcohol in great moderation can admittedly overbalance its toxicity, it is a toxin and people who "meet to drink" are not likely to adhere to moderation and are going to be filling themselves with a substance that causes grievious deaths from auto accidents (lots of painted outlines in Vietnamese roads) but from even from direct poisoning.  Someone using alcohol to palliate depression is especially likely to go too far and end up tangled in a motorbike under a van.  I see it here all the time.  Someone weaving and bobbing through traffic, and five minutes later you drive by his corpse. 

I'm not a crusader on this.  Almost all my friends drink in moderation and I don't give them lectures.  I'd feel better if they didn't.  I do know people who like alcohol too much and I worry about them. 

MatthiasB wrote:

the most recent research seems to indicate that alcohol neither causes nor cures depression.

Alcohol may not cause depression by direct neural action, though I bet I could show that it indeed does, however the deterioration of a life increasingly centered on alcohol certainly is a rich and powerful way to become deeply depressed.

The following from webMD seems to directly contradict the irresponsible position taken by MatthiasB.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/alcohol-and-depresssion

Hi jjk.nguyen,

you'll find a little support here, but you should definitely consult a skilled specialist.

Please do.

As this is I guess the best advice we could give you, I guess we should just close this thread.

I'll just repeat myself : talk to a specialist

Whilst there is some mention of god in the AA mantra , it is not an OPPRESSIVE AMERICAN RELIGIOUS ORGANISATION  , it is a support group for hundreds of thousands of people who without AA would otherwise be lost , or dead. To summarily dismiss a body who's sole aim is to assist people in their struggle with Alcohol, is disgraceful

Hi all,

As everything has been said, we close the thread.

Thanks
Armand
Expat.com Team