Looking for advice or opinions about a girlfriend.

DanFromSF wrote:

.  Addressing a woman as "em oi!" is not polite after she has addressed you by your name, and you know hers!

Hmm not really.. Im woman and im fine with it. 

QuynnTr wrote:

Hmm not really.. Im woman and im fine with it. 

I'm happy for you, but not all women agree with you and it takes almost zero effort to avoid the issue.

I wonder if Charma would appreciate being called "em oi!".  If not, he should ask himself why.

carefull, don't become a victim in love
Before a love, should be a friend and you will understand them clearly, some girls here, they just need money and guide you around...around...around...around...around...hehehehe

cool down forum!

You could settle the disagreement once and for all, Dejavu.dot.

DanFromSF wrote:

You could settle the disagreement once and for all, Dejavu.dot.

I see he talked about AK 47 in another forum  afraid.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I see he talked about AK 47 in another forum  afraid.

LOL.  I guess you disagree with him then.  Or else there's nothing to be afraid of.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

DanFromSF wrote:

You could settle the disagreement once and for all, Dejavu.dot.

I see he talked about AK 47 in another forum  afraid.

  he just create the topic for people donate blood and ask another to lend AK 47

) jkd

Dan, I'm not a moderator, but you guys are off topic.  And I'll settle it by saying I have many VN female friends who are fine with being called "em oi" by me because I know them well.  Furthermore, because I'm a westerner, others who I've addressed that way aren't offended - they just laugh at me. :-)  So chill, and let's get back on topic.

DanFromSF wrote:

Regardless of whether you know their sex or their age, you know their names.  Why do you choose not to use it?  It is demeaning to refer to a woman as em oi! when you know her name and she addresses you with your name.  Why do you not see this?
Whether it is a forum rule or not is a strawman argument;  this is a matter politeness.  Addressing a woman as em oi! is not polite after she has addressed you by your name, and you know hers!

" Your honor! I appear for Dejavu.dot", is that true Dan? 
If I call by their real name, may be it's bit difficult to them Dan 
Calling younger people "Em Oi" is not an impolite phrase, in my belief and experience instead it shows some intimacy. Who don't like intimacy?    Till now people whom I addressed "Em oi" are very happy with me. If they have some difficult with this, I will accept and change then. Are you happy now Dan? 

I see Viet men usually call Viet women "em" but it is still very strange for me cos I have just lived with Vietnamese for some years. I dont use " anh oi" either.
But I prefer being called Princess!

The topic were start in San Jose and now we are in Mars   

charmavietnam wrote:

" Your honor! I appear for Dejavu.dot", is that true Dan? 
If I call by their real name, may be it's bit difficult to them Dan 
Calling younger people "Em Oi" is not an impolite phrase, in my belief and experience instead it shows some intimacy. Who don't like intimacy?    Till now people whom I addressed "Em oi" are very happy with me. If they have some difficult with this, I will accept and change then. Are you happy now Dan? 

I would not be so sure that all people you address as "em oi!" are very happy with you.  They may have not said anything about it, but that doesn't mean they are happy.

As for me:  Yes, Charma, I am happy.  As long as you call me Dan.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

But I prefer being called Princess!

No problem, Princess.

Anh oi!
Surely you can call me em oi   
I have no problem because I know well that you are senior than me 
And it make more intimacy!

DanFromSF wrote:

I wonder if Charma would appreciate being called em oi! If not, he should ask himself why.

Charma anh!
Dont use "Em ơi"  many times, the first time I felt interesting.
But for men, I think call as name is ok.
My English teachers (foreigners) always call "Thanh Nga, hello Thanh Nga". I like that , because I think my name is very beautiful .

It's rainning hard now . I think we must stop to discuss this, before mod come here .

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

But I prefer being called Princess!

No problem, Princess.

Thanks dan.

charmavietnam wrote:

Anh oi!
Surely you can call me em oi   
I have no problem because I know well that you are senior than me 
And it make more intimacy!

DanFromSF wrote:

I wonder if Charma would appreciate being called em oi! If not, he should ask himself why.

Yes, just that. A happy ending Dan and charma@ Both of you are special men in this forum!

charmavietnam wrote:

Anh oi!
Surely you can call me em oi   
I have no problem because I know well that you are senior than me 
And it make more intimacy!

Do you know the idiom "putting the cart before the horse"?  Because that's what you're doing here.

Using "em oi!" does not make more intimacy.  You use the phrase after you HAVE intimacy.  See the difference?

saigonmonkey wrote:

Mr. Two-post needs to come over to Vietnam and spend several months here, getting to know the ladies. Note I said ladies - not just one - many. Anyone who has never been to Vietnam and never had any experience with the women here will get eaten alive by them.  I'm dead serious - especially if they're between 20 and 30 years old. No need to elaborate more. Just listen to what I'm saying. Don't even think about an "online relationship" with a VN girl, and be very careful with an "In-person relationship".  My apologies to the VN ladies posting on this forum. I think you know what I'm talking about anyway.

I dont know how many Vietnamese women did you know. But if you can understand Vietnamse, go to Webtretho (WTT) forum, you will see millions women there. They spend much time to learn how to cook well, how to save money, how to take care and teach their children... I learned from them so many things to make my family happy. And I had a happy family in many years...

Many Vietnamese women:

Agree with Saigonmonkey 
Of course we are going off topic.
Let me conclude a last post in this thread:
@ngattt:
Don't underestimate expats who living here more than 5 years. You only know some dating sites, cooking sites other than your university gate. If you want to know real picture, just take some day off, go out and watch everything with your wide open eyes. Don't say something childish and post some picture to waste the page. If you have lot of free time now ( yeah, I think you are free from everything now) just write some useful topics to help others.
I agree that some Vietnamese woman work very hard for their family. But I don't think that you have the right to say that.
Hope you understand.
@ Dan:
Yes Dan, I was sleeping when the teacher explain about that idiom 
I hope I learn better when you come and settle here!
Now you are in the US and I don't think you are not familiar about to explain all topics about Vietnamese girls, culture, etc. I will agree your comments 2 year after you settle here    In that case Saigonmonkey has enough knowledge.

@ Dejavu;
You won't afraid of Avtomat Kalashnikova  but he will 

Wake up, she doesn't love u. She left u and then came back and then planed to left u again.This girl doesn't trust u that why she is confusing about which one to choose you or the other guy, she doesn't want to lose any until she is sure which one is the best benefit for her future.
This is just my opinion man... U control you own heart, you own mind. I know u have a real feeling for her so do what ever you think is right and GOOD LUCK!!!!

ngattt wrote:

I dont know how many Vietnamese women did you know. But if you can understand Vietnamse, go to Webtretho (WTT) forum, you will see millions women there. They spend much time to learn how to cook well, how to save money, how to take care and teach their children... I learned from them so many things to make my family happy. And I had a happy family in many years...

In my personal experience, it seems to me that Vietnamese women are far more capable of taking care of the household than men.  In fact, they seem to want to do everything, so their man is incapable of taking care of himself (!).  (I'm only half-joking).  This has been a problem for me personally, since I don't want a woman who takes care of me, as it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I recognize that it's maybe a cultural difference that I need to get used to.





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First, one line dating can be fun, you think you get to know people, but it is very easy for people looking for money. May not even be a viet girl but some dude from russia. Western meaning of love is just an illusion here in Vietnam.  My advice, and it has been the same for 2 years, just hire a housekeeper/cook/travel companion. For 4 million a month you can get some very nice treatment, does not need to be sexual. See if something develops. Why is love an illusion here? Viet woman are very practical. They all think about romantic love, but they would really like a guy with money that loves them. If they have the option of marriage with a poor guy that loves them and a rich one that loves them, regardless of their feeling they will marry the rich one. Severe poverty causes this. The OP needs to get off the internet and visit paradise.

DanFromSF wrote:

ngattt wrote:

I dont know how many Vietnamese women did you know. But if you can understand Vietnamse, go to Webtretho (WTT) forum, you will see millions women there. They spend much time to learn how to cook well, how to save money, how to take care and teach their children... I learned from them so many things to make my family happy. And I had a happy family in many years...

In my personal experience, it seems to me that Vietnamese women are far more capable of taking care of the household than men.  In fact, they seem to want to do everything, so their man is incapable of taking care of himself (!).  (I'm only half-joking).  This has been a problem for me personally, since I don't want a woman who takes care of me, as it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I recognize that it's maybe a cultural difference that I need to get used to.

No, Dan! They dont want to do everything, but they dont have any choices. MANY (not all) Viet men, they cant do anything for themself or they are so lazy. They were not taught to take care family, even themself. When they were child, they have their mother to take care them. When they get married, they have second mother (it is named WIFE). In Vietnam, if they get divorced, women will face many difficulties, because the law doent protect them like in your country; example, they have no money (from ex) for taking care children.

After working, women must go home to take care their family. But men, they go to restaurant to drink beer with their friends. So, who will take care children? Women MUST do! In Vietnam, our salary is very low, so many women must work very hard to earn money. Especially women are in the North.

If you dont want your girlfriend spend much time to take care you, talk to her! Teach her everything you want, with LOVE! Always remember, you must do everything with love, she will understand!

With everything you've shown in your posts I think you had/will have a educated, intelligent woman! Intelligent women will know how to make their life and their husband happy! No need to worry !




.

ngattt wrote:

With everything you've shown in your posts I think you had/will have a educated, intelligent woman! Intelligent women will know how to make their life and their husband happy! No need to worry !

Ewww, no way!  A wife leads to kids, and who wants those?  Not me!  I like ancientpathos' idea about hiring a cook/housekeeper.  That way I can relax without having to worry about making babies!

Well said Ancientpathos!

ngattt wrote:

I dont know how many Vietnamese women did you know. But if you can understand Vietnamse, go to Webtretho (WTT) forum, you will see millions women there. They spend much time to learn how to cook well, how to save money, how to take care and teach their children... I learned from them so many things to make my family happy. And I had a happy family in many years...

Ngattt:  Here's the problem with your post - As I'm sure you are a good person and a good VN lady, you probably also surround yourself with friends who are basically the same as you. So that's where you come from in the conversation, but it's not the reality of what's going on with many women in Vietnam.  As a western man, I stand by my original post and it serves as a warning to other men (foreign western in particular) to watch out for themselves and really get to know many women in VN before entering a relationship with one.  And I dare say, I may possibly know more VN women than you. 

DanFromSF wrote:

Ewww, no way!  A wife leads to kids, and who wants those?  Not me!  I like ancientpathos' idea about hiring a cook/housekeeper.  That way I can relax without having to worry about making babies!

Yes, it depends on what you want, Dan!
If you want a happy family, find a well-educated, intelligent woman!
If you need something (blah blah blah), find a housekeeper!
You know this than me, I'm sure .

saigonmonkey wrote:

As a western man, I stand by my original post and it serves as a warning to other men (foreign western in particular) to watch out for themselves and really get to know many women in VN before entering a relationship with one.  And I dare say, I may possibly know more VN women than you. 

Ok, man, I'm sure that I dont have many experiences with bad women than you ! Because I'm a busy woman, I only chose some nice women to make friend . If they are bad people, and I get a lesson, then, I never make friend with that kind of people again!

But, please, dont give some comments about all Vietnamese women, as if you knew all of them ! You can give a warning to foreigners, its ok. I really want, too! Because I know many foreigners are good (maybe ), when you guys come here, you dont have any experience about Vietnamse women, but some bad women always try to seduce you... And you got some lessons. Its not strange at all . Kakakaka.

I have some foreigner friends. They talked something like you . The first time, it made me shock, hic hic! And I always tried to prove to them, there are many good women in Vietnamse that some foreigners dont have enough time to find them. Now, I come here, and do the same things, omg, poor me .





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charmavietnam wrote:

@ngattt:
Don't underestimate expats who living here more than 5 years. You only know some dating sites, cooking sites other than your university gate.
Hope you understand.

Charma!
I didnt understand at all. Really! Because I didnt spend much time to read all your post! Just 2 sentences, and I decided, I shouldnt read and try to understand you more . Sorry, man! If this is your house, I never come back!
But I will delete some pictures, because they made this page slow (many posts in a page).

Adhome01 wrote:

I really don't understand these people who "meet" someone online and think you know the person.  I guess it's just loneliness or desperation that leads people to believing they've found their soul mate after a few months of chatting. Never mind never actually meeting the person or having any idea of their culture or language.

I didn't realize I was desperate. Thank you for pointing it out. Now I feel worse.

LOL.  Okay, Mr. 3-posts, what's the status of the gold-digger?  Did you cut her loose?

@saigonmonkey - Thank you. I understand what you mean. I can gain a better understanding of the way things work by getting to know more than one lady. It's been a learning experience for me. I do understand not all women fall into this category.

@ancientpathos - Thank you. I can understand things better. Now I can try to picture things from the girls perspective and it makes more sense. You offered some really great suggestions. I need to make plans to visit Vietnam.

I had an opportunity to visit Vietnam in 1997. I was 15 years old at the time. My best friend's mother is Vietnamese married to an American. She was going to visit family in Da Nang and spoke with my parents about letting me go along with her and my best friend.

This would be my first vacation without my family. I was really excited. It really wasn't tourist friendly at that time. There were very few foreigners at the time. I visited Ho Chi Minh city, Da Nang, and Hue.

One of my fondest memories was in Ho Chi Minh city. I was trying to cross the street and having a hard time figuring out how to avoid all of the traffic. Suddenly two girls came up beside me and helped me to cross the street. I felt embarrassed. I thanked them in my poor Vietnamese.

I had always wanted to return there, but never did. So I only know Vietnam from one experience. I am sure many things have changed now.

Take care!

DanFromSF wrote:

LOL.  Okay, Mr. 3-posts, what's the status of the gold-digger?  Did you cut her loose?

Hi Dan,

My name is now Mr. 5-post.  I cut her loose. I think her other male friend would be better for her. I don't think badly of her. It's just not for me.

Take care!

robert_jpop wrote:

Hi Dan,

My name is now Mr. 5-post.  I cut her loose. I think her other male friend would be better for her. I don't think badly of her. It's just not for me.

Take care!

Good for you.  Sorry to give you a hard time earlier, but threads like yours come up often, and it seems like more times than not, the dude posting doesn't take anybody's advice and continues in the dysfunctional relationship.  It's good to see somebody get out without wasting any more time.

@Robert_jpop

1997 has changed a lot indeed. You are still very young so you have plenty of time to explore. If you can afford to make visits to Vietnam then do so, because it will give you a better perspective of what to expect " when " and " if " you decide to make that big leap. The grass is not always greener on the other side. You can't always rely on other people's experiences, it's different for everybody (VN, VK or expat).  Vietnam is a beautiful country but not without its challenges (employment, lifestyle, relationships, legalities, healthcare, etc.) Whatever decision you make, let it be logical and from your own unique experiences and not from impulses or emotions.


Best regards,

Lan

MIA2013. Long time no hear.
Still Missing In Action?
I just realised that the OP posting lesbian dating information.
please correct if I'm wrong. She's 34? And her 'friend' is 20. And her friend says she loves her and wants to receive gifts?

jimbream wrote:

I just realised that the OP posting lesbian dating information.
please correct if I'm wrong. She's 34? And her 'friend' is 20. And her friend says she loves her and wants to receive gifts?

You made me curious
He is 32 years old, same my age.
I tried to read again but didn't realize anything, hic hic. Only this sentence:

I think her other male friend
would be better for her. I don't think badly of her

Hi Robert,
Why are you looking for pretty young Asian girls on the Internet.?? 

I'm sure there are plenty of nice women in the US of A.  Well educated, probably have good jobs, maybe some assets and money.  Only trouble is they have an opinion and are educated and maybe too smart for you. Correct. ?

SO.....you come to the" last card in the pack " SE Asian dating sites.  Ha ha ha ha..... Love you guys. Another lamb to the slaughter.

I've been in VN a few years and guys like you are just what they are looking for. Your thinking with your Ego and your Balls.   They love guys like you.  I know several woman here that have bought businesses, houses, paid off family debts etc etc , all from the pockets of gullible foreigners.  And those guys have been kicked to the curb and a new sucker steps off the next plane to " play it again Sam".   These woman actually think we are stupid..why wouldn't they??  Given the dumb ass losers that come here and splash the cash ,then get made redundant for a new sugar daddy.  Ha ha ha ,can't blame them. In my next life I want to come back as a pretty VN woman. Knowing what I know now I'd make a fortune.

STOp PRESS...you've given her flick I see. Good work Robert. Another soul saved. 

I see your only 34.  I'm 55. 

Guess what Robert, young guys here are viewed with suspicion by women.  They'll think you have no money and only here for the party.  They much prefer gullible , lonely OLD men.  I see it all the time.  A group of young guys in a Bar are ignored by local girls in favour of the older weaker "prey"
They know the cash will come easily out of the pockets of lonely old men. I know several young guys here that say it's hard to meet girls.???  I've been to lots of weddings here, nearly always a 30 + year age gap.  A Vietnamese woman will think a younger guy will "trade" them in on a younger wife in the future. Rich VN men do that a lot as well.  They see the older "prey" as a safer bet.

Don't come here thinking about marriage. Live her for a few years , then assess your situation.

Yogi007 wrote:

Hi Robert,
Why are you looking for pretty young Asian girls on the Internet.?? 

I'm sure there are plenty of nice women in the US of A.  Well educated, probably have good jobs, maybe some assets and money.  Only trouble is they have an opinion and are educated and maybe too smart for you. Correct. ?

SO.....you come to the" last card in the pack " SE Asian dating sites.  Ha ha ha ha..... Love you guys. Another lamb to the slaughter.

I've been in VN a few years and guys like you are just what they are looking for. Your thinking with your Ego and your Balls.   They love guys like you.  I know several woman here that have bought businesses, houses, paid off family debts etc etc , all from the pockets of gullible foreigners.  And those guys have been kicked to the curb and a new sucker steps off the next plane to " play it again Sam".   These woman actually think we are stupid..why wouldn't they??  Given the dumb ass losers that come here and splash the cash ,then get made redundant for a new sugar daddy.  Ha ha ha ,can't blame them. In my next life I want to come back as a pretty VN woman. Knowing what I know now I'd make a fortune.

STOp PRESS...you've given her flick I see. Good work Robert. Another soul saved. 

I see your only 34.  I'm 55. 

Guess what Robert, young guys here are viewed with suspicion by women.  They'll think you have no money and only here for the party.  They much prefer gullible , lonely OLD men.  I see it all the time.  A group of young guys in a Bar are ignored by local girls in favour of the older weaker "prey"
They know the cash will come easily out of the pockets of lonely old men. I know several young guys here that say it's hard to meet girls.???  I've been to lots of weddings here, nearly always a 30 + year age gap.  A Vietnamese woman will think a younger guy will "trade" them in on a younger wife in the future. Rich VN men do that a lot as well.  They see the older "prey" as a safer bet.

Don't come here thinking about marriage. Live her for a few years , then assess your situation.

Amen! The problem is no one listens. They always believe they've found the one honest girl in VN, that just happens to love men 2 and 3 times her age. I can't count how many Viet girls I've known who have made a fortune conning foreigners. I can't blame the girls, it's easy money and plenty of suckers out there.

That's life these days.  I don't blame Vietnamese women at all for taking advantage of gullible guys . It's a two way street. If  the guy wants to polish his Ego with a young "trophy wife" he had better PAY the price for that. The girl shacks up with someone she probably doesn't even like, she pays with loss of happiness.   

BUT, the kudos she gets from her family for providing for them thru HIS wallet is worth more to her than her happiness.  She has done well for her family and that's what matters here.  The guy will eventually get flicked and the family lives happily for ever after.

A woman here that I know very well told me that she can make more money out of one stupid foreign man , than she can working for a lifetime in her job.  That woman now has 3 businesses and a home , all courtesy of foreign men .  They know how men think.  They know what buttons to push . A lot of guys see the cute smile, the puppy dog eyes, the nice ass etc etc.  and lose the plot.

Everything that glitters isn't necessarily gold.