Looking for advice or opinions about a girlfriend.

robert_jpop · 2014-08-13T12:51:29+02:00

Hello everyone, I met a Vietnamese girl through an online dating website. I live in the US and I am 32 years old. She is 20. We started writing to each other towards the end of January of this year. After three weeks we lost touch with each other, because she lost her phone. We started chatting again after a few months. Two months later she told me I love you. I was happy when she said that. A week later she told me her feelings have changed. She jokingly asked me if I thought it was good or bad. I said it was probably good and she replied no, it's bad. Then she said just kidding. She told me she loves me more. She trusts me more and she doesn't feel afraid. We have plans to meet this year in December. A week later she asked me if she had ever told me about her past and that she had sex before. I told her no. She asked me how I felt and would I still like to meet her. I said I would still like to meet. She wanted to be honest with me about her past. She doesn't want to have another relationship that breaks up, because it hurts and it takes time to get over it. One day when we were chatting she said she had a problem. She had been talking with another guy before we started chatting again. He told her he loved her, but she told him she needed time to be able to think clearly and she would send him a message later. She had forgotten about sending him a message. He contacted her and she told him she has someone she loves and needs and apologized for not telling him sooner. She told me she did not have any feelings for him. Our conversations now start out with her giving me one word answers like yes, no, ok. When I answer back like she does she then gets upset and says our conversation feels weird. Later on our conversations go back to normal. Sometimes it feels like I am talking with a completely different person. She felt happy about our relationship and told her sister about us over the weekend. Her sister then told her about an email from a guy she used to chat with before, but had stopped before we originally started contacting each other. She mentioned her sister was in her old email account and read an email from a guy offering to bring her family over to the US and letting her study over here if she would marry him. She told me she hasn't talked with him for a long time. She hasnt used that email in a long time. He also told her he would be in Vietnam this week and they should meet if she is interested in his offer. I asked her how she felt about it and she doesn't understand how someone could make an offer when they dont really know each other. She said she wasnt even considering it. Later during our conversation she tells me he sent another email. It sounds to me like she had responded and was waiting for his reply, but I am not sure. She said he offered to pay for her ticket, passport, and visa and to let him know. I do find it odd her sister knew how to get into her old email account. The next day we talked again she was answering with her one word answers. Later on she asked me how I would feel if we lost contact again for a few months like before. I asked her why and she said never mind you don't have to answer. She said she just wanted to know how I would feel. I told her we would find some way to keep in contact with each other if we really wanted to. She agreed with me. She told me not to think too much about it. Nothing has changed between us. I am just a little confused by her behavior. On one hand I feel like I am being tested and on the other hand I feel like it is a head game. Shes very nice and she has never asked me for anything. Well, she did ask me to bring her chocolates when I come in December. So I feel a little confused. Sorry for writing such a long-winded post. I would appreciate any advice or opinions. Thank you.

Last activity 29 September 2014 by DanFromSF

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majorkalsiActive member25 September 2014 07:12:27

#241

Hi Ngatt glad to receive your reply well for now am satisfy with my own choices and i got opportunity for foreign company to work for them as part time employee hope in future when i get full time opportunity from them i will move to vietnam atleast that time i dont need to find job i can work online for that company. By the way hows life now in HCMC.

ngatttSerial expat25 September 2014 15:39:33

#242

922

@Majorkalsi: These days I am little busy because I start teaching in my university from this week. Nice to hear some good news from you.
When my friends or my students need my thought about their problems, I always try to analysis everything might happen. And they can image some difficulties they will face with. I like the way you are trying to live near your girlfriend. We are all young, so, some difficulties are not our big problems . It's just challenges in our life.

1stewartActive member26 September 2014 02:54:56

#243

All women are very smart and and they know how to get what they want...You know your insight is correct. She is testing you to see how far she can go. She is figuring which is the best offer. Her words must compliment her behavior... You see it! Trust your instincts...

ngatttSerial expat26 September 2014 05:35:58

#244

922

1stewart wrote:
All women are very smart and and they know how to get what they want...

Hmmm, what happened to you?
I hope all Vietnamese women are smart like you said. When I knew some women, I didnt understand why they lived like that. And I wish they were stronger, and smatter, then their life would be happier...

DanFromSFSerial expat26 September 2014 05:40:33

#245

615

ngattt wrote:
Hmmm, what happened to you?

Don't get sucked-in, Nga. Nothing good will come of it.

ngatttSerial expat26 September 2014 05:46:12

#246

922

DanFromSF wrote:
Don't get sucked-in, Nga. Nothing good will come of it.

Yeah, thanks Dan. Just curious about someone, why they have much time to complain women always! Hmmmm!

cvcoMalaysia expert26 September 2014 11:15:44

#247

1219

He wasnt complaining and anyway its true

Ngattt Stewart is talking about cleverness and resourcefulness, not necessarily book smarts. Yes i do think women can be very clever about getting something or someone they want. But its not a complaint, just some characteristics, no big deal.

DanFromSFSerial expat26 September 2014 11:32:46

#248

615

cvco wrote:
Yes i do think ~~women~~ people can be very clever about getting something or someone they want.

Fixed it for you.

cvcoMalaysia expert26 September 2014 12:21:50

#249

1219

Dan, if I meant people I would have said people but go on and feel free to change my words in your own mind if it floats your boat better.

ngatttSerial expat26 September 2014 14:02:49

#250

922

@Cvco: I am not a sexy and beautiful woman. I want to have a big house with big garden and big swimming pool in District 2, and a morden car, with at least 5 billions VND in the bank. That's all things I wish, I really really want to have. But I don't know how I can get all . Poor me!

majorkalsiActive member26 September 2014 14:17:47

#251

hahahaha Ngattt you change the whole topic but best of luck to you for your wishes

Jinny.NguyenNew member26 September 2014 14:56:08

#252

I think she feel confused. cause his offer sound really great "bring her family over to the US and letting her study ". . Some Vietnamese girl think move to live in foreign countries can change their life .Everything's like a dream .
but I think she's not really wanna lie u . Cause she told to u about him . she's just need certain time to think clever and make a choice. you're 32 ,you absolutely can know who really love u ,and who doesn't .

DanFromSFSerial expat26 September 2014 15:30:21

#253

615

cvco wrote:
Dan, if I meant people I would have said people but go on and feel free to change my words in ~~your own mind~~ my sexist forum posts if it ~~floats your boat better~~ makes it less offensive to half the population.

Okay.

1stewartActive member28 September 2014 03:55:51

#254

Ngatt, because of your post I have decided to trust my girlfriend. You made me realize that in life you must take a chance sometimes.I take care of my girlfriend! I provide her with money to make her life better. There are people that would laugh and say i was a fool! But all people do things that they think they have to do. I love beautiful women! One thing I just learned when you have money you can be in a woman's shoes and have your pick, But the bottom line is one woman and one man! I feel I can change my girlfriends life for the better and that is why she should be with me...Thank you for helping me to accept things if I do Not win my love. And speaking of love, I want to post what love really is next time... I want you to teach YOUR girls WELL!
Stewart

1stewartActive member28 September 2014 18:15:54

#255

THAT IS A OUTSTANDING POINT OF VIEW. THANK YOU FOR THE INSIGHT ON HUMANITY AND TRANSACTIONS IN LOVE...
RICHARD

cvcoMalaysia expert29 September 2014 13:28:44

#256

1219

DanFromSF wrote:
cvco wrote:
Dan, if I meant people I would have said people but go on and feel free to change my words in ~~your own mind~~ my sexist forum posts if it ~~floats your boat better~~ makes it less offensive to half the population.

Okay.

lol THAT is too funny! You got me laughing here. I have no clue at all where thats supposed to be going but go ahead and have some fun, write the rest of it.

DanFromSFSerial expat29 September 2014 13:53:14

#257

615

I think it stands on its own, bro.

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