The Philippines- Views from a woman's standpoint?

Well it is good that you are open-minded and love the rural areas. I would give Mindanao a shot, if I were you.

As VetR stated, it is pre-dominantly Catholic, but it still has the muslim faction.

It is cleaner that other places in the Philippines, the people are quite friendly, you have the lovely sea ways, as well as the provincial areas and the food is fresh and inexpensive.

I would have stayed there, if not for my significant other's parents giving me bad advice and the fact that I can became obligated to many different projects in the area that I reside now.

I will return to the U.S. to visit my family, after residing here for 11-years and other places for 5-7yrs. I am due to spend physical time with them, but will probably return to the Philippines and then it will be time for new beginnings...most likely Mindanao.

Whatever your decision, I hope you will enjoy your retirement years of life.

Hello, pleased to hear back from you, and of your valuable comments and advice.
Prior to coming onto Blog, I had while back done some intermittent research on other sites. There were a number of mentions re: Mindanao, and Area of 'Cagayan de Oro City', and giving a glowing testimonial, and aso, that it was outside of the usual typhoon belt.
Any comments on this?

Many thanks, Vee

Hello kimimela

I liked your opening comments. Im a very new member, and it was your blog that drew me to start. From a womens standpoint. As everywhere Ive been on-line has been very much as you are suggesting, is mainly male orientated. So, in my view your starting Thread i think it is refered to (excuse my ignorance, yet am very new to the terminology). A good catalyst
Take care, Vee

Hi Vee - welcome and great post!

Since my last post 2 years ago, I've actually had an opportunity to go back to the Philippines and stay approx. 3 months in Manila and happy to say that it validated my desire to retire there.  A few thoughts about my experience / lessons learned while I was there:

* Manila isn't as bad as I thought.....very crowded, yes, and still not my idea of a 'retirement destination', but like most places, people are nice if you're nice to them; cosmopolitan so of course, higher ratio of educated / financially independent / cosmopolitan (and less traditional) women
* This Philippines offers excellent health care options at very reasonable prices (compared to the US that is, not sure about the UK)
* Filipinos don't expect the same thing from foreigners as they do the locals (even though I look like one) -- they understand that I was raised differently and didn't expect me to fall into a 'typical' track...it was ok for me to be a part-time catholic; it was ok for me to wear shorter shorts; it was ok for me to speak to doctors as my equals (despite the fact that traditionally, my family members didn't feel comfortable asking questions, worried about offending the doctors!)
* There are a lot of beautiful places in the Philippines!

Like you, we don't exactly know where the 'perfect' place will be, but the nice thing about the Philippines is that $500 a month can get you a very nice place to live (view of the ocean in most places).     So...our plan when we retire (2 years from now and counting!) will be to rent a house for 3 - 6 months at different parts of the country, live like the locals to truly get a feel of the place; use it as our 'home base' to travel to other parts of Asia (flights from Cebu are cheap by the way!) until we find a place to build our future home (my mom is now a builder in Manila, so need to take advantage of that at some point!) ;-)

Not sure if you've visited the Philippines.....certainly would recommend you pick your top 3 or 4 locations to visit as part of your research  -- lots of beautiful places like Palawan (El Nido) to experience first hand, but also to experience things that you might not like as much (barking dogs in some neighborhoods are non-stop, weather, etc)....

Hi Bearkeley

Thank you for your welcomed response.

As I mentioned of and before I came onto the blog I'd already purchased books and viewed comments from other websites, and other sources, yet I needed some further input, and hoping from other females with the same interests of retiring to the philippines. There is very much a mixed bag of views and experiences.
Having researched sismic and weather trend throughout the philippines/that part of the globe, my searches has steered me to consider Palawan, yet appears from what I can see so far, is predominantly tourist orientated, and guess is main source of income of the island. Sooo ... picking up on one of your questions! That yes, Weather would play an important part for me ..... and .... another valid question you ask! Yes barking/yappy dogs aye .... don't get me started on that subject ;-( ... Drives me <<nuts>> ... So yes, this had, and is a factor already set in my mind to bare in mind, yet thank you for the heads up.

I'm learning, that Manila presents to be the main transport Hub of the Phillipines, as is Cebu I guess by what you have mentioned about cheap flights. What Im thinking is, if/when making decision to travel to PH, then fly in to Manila first, and hopefully find somewhere reasonably priced to stay for a bit, so can familiarise myself, which I fear woulnt be for long! As by nature & heart, I am a rural/country girl. Yes obviously cities and town have their advantages, yet Im not comfortable with the hustle and bussle, errrh, not for too long that is. I would wish for a provincial location, preferably near the coast.
Although by nature I am a bit of a loner, yet I know this will have to change for a bit! Well, this might sound a bit of a contradiction in what Ive just said, yet once I do get chatting, I can talk for England ... and ... possibly the world ;-)
I strongly believe, that it doesnt take much to be polite; and as my late mother drummed into me as a child; "Politeness doesnt cost you anything. Whereas impoliteness can soon come back to bite you". And also, one of the same, "To treat folk how you would prefer to be treated" ... Im sure you will agree, that for the most part, this philosophy works. Did me & my late partner well when travelling throughout the America's in the late 1980's. One of the things we did learn is: To be humble, yet also assertive when necessary.
Oh ... by the way!  I note that you are from Washington. I guess you mean the State, and not the city?  We spent some time at the rain forest peninsular after coming down from Vancouver, to Seattle. Absolutely loved it. However on hindsight and reflection and listening to ones ageing body, then my many failed attempts to emigrate to Canada wouldnt have been such a good move. Yet I guess we all change mentally as we age as well.
Ive got to that stage with my career, that the sheer volume of change / reinventing of the Social Services due to government austerity measures of cut back after cut backs, the lack of employee welfare, frozen year after year salary, The Errotion of our occupational pension scheme errrh well ... This gale just canny take anymore and have been on sick leave for some time, and, it is time to act upon what is and has been the route of the problem. Tat being, it is work stress that is the cause of illness. Sooo ... have looked at the pension figures, and have come to the conclusion, that although I wont be rich, yet with combined State & Occupational Pensions, then I could survive reasonably well. To then crack on with getting my mortgage paid off, and then get the property ship-shape, to either rent out, or sell on. However, what with the property crash from about 2008, then in my county, prices still havent balance out back to where they were. Dare I say for me, still in negative equity; sooo ... maybe renting is the option. Big decisions yeah.
Anyways, Im going to close for today, its late, and getting tired.
Would be good to keep in touch.
Take care, Vee</nuts>

This is from a standpoint of a working mom in the Philippines:

I'm a Filipina, turning 45 this year. I was born in the Philippines and moved to America in late 1990's.  I got a US citizenship in 2001 and later on married an American who is younger than I am by 4 years, 3 months. Back in 2007, I was laid off when I was around 5 months pregnant. We felt we were going nowhere financially, and our dream of owning our own home would not materialize. We decided to move to the Philippines with the plan that I would re-open my family's successful contracting business, which would be our main source of income. I, my husband, and our then 1-year old son moved to the Philippines just before the crash of 2008.

We have been living here for close to 6 years. It took us at least a year to fully adjust to a new lifestyle and culture.  We now have a daughter, a luxury we would not have been able to afford in America. My husband works at a call center, a job he likes. (I'm hoping that he leaves that job since I earn enough from the family business to support all of us, and then some, so he can take care of the kids.  But I don't think that's gonna happen.) Our house, for which we did not need a loan to finance its construction, is soon to be finished. 

I think the main reason why we find it welcoming when we first moved here was because we had help from my parents, who offered that we live with them to help us save for a house and who also are great with the kids. We continue surviving and thriving here because we have a good source of income, and we are careful with our spending. Also I have experienced living here and know how to deal with the locals and businesses.

I work 10 hrs a day 6 days a week to run a business.  I have to, if we want to keep the kids in good schools.  I don't feel guilty at all for having maids do the chores (There are no good quality dryers here. You hang out clothes to dry.  Someone has to be at home to bring in the clothes in case there's rain.), so I can have time to do the tougher chores, like making the kids stay put and focused while they do their homework, and still have energy to do the more enjoyable chores, like reading bedtime stories and putting them to bed.

I guess I could say that I'm the one wearing the trousers in the family.  My husband is perfectly fine with that.  But it's tough to be the main decision maker. I wish that my husband would help more in decision making.

We are most probably staying in the Philippines for the rest of our lives.  We already have a place in mind (somewhere in southern Luzon) of where to retire. I spent part of my childhood there. It has the charm of an old small town, where neighbors know each other.  At the town proper, there's a beautiful old church. Ancestral buildings. At our property, there's clean air.  A clean brook nearby. A glimpse of a monitor lizard once in a while. Fresh produce.  There's noise pollution though: cicadas singing in unison, crickets that sound like walkie talkies, tokay geckos, chirping birds, creaking bamboo, falling fruit, croaking toads that sound like honking geese.

I have a high quality stackable Whirlpool washer/dryer I got from Robinsons Appliances for 44k...ask for 15% discount..that is what I got...the washer and dryer or both front loaders and are excellent..

Hello FilAmericanMom

Now this is a blog that I was wishing to read, and relate with. How compelling and interesting.
I am very new to the website, and finding my way around, along with some snippets of advice from members via the blog and 'Personal Message'. So much more to learn.
I would like to tay in touch, if that okay with you and your family.

Thanks, Vee52

Hello Vee52,

I received your personal message.  I would be happy to help you out. I think this is the most important advice, and most expats would agree about moving here:  Stay here for at least 2 months before deciding to pack up everything and move here for the long term.  See if it suits you and if you can adjust your lifestyle without breaking your budget.  Keep in touch.

FilAmMom

Hi FilAmericanMom

Thank you so much for your offer of help. This is encouraging news.

At the moment I am exploring and gathering info/help, as Im not sure as to when I will start my visit to the philippines, as there is so much restructuring about to be roled out re: My employment. .... and .... as to when I actually say, enough is enough of change, change, change, and finally make that decision to retire. Ive been working for over 50 yrs in total, which includes the early years from age of 10 supporting my family household. Im very very tired of dedicating my life to the job and clients with the social service profession, and there is very little compassion left in my tank to give the job/clients. This angers me, because I am by nature and at heart a compassionate/empathetic gale; yet feel in truth that my Local Government Employers have taken advantage of this over many years; and a smidgen of a Pension to show for it. Oh well, I need to make that necessary move, and give notice to my line manager once I have seen my Doctor (its a long story) and gone back over the figures. I guess on the positive side, at least I will have an occupational pension to top up the tiny State Pension. Must try and stay positive through such tough times, as I know after making the break, that progressively my general health will improve ... 

Many thanks to you, Looking forward to speaking again.

Take care, Vee52 / Vanessa

Its all  about what you are looking for, what your expectations are.  I would suggest that anywhere you go in the third-world you keep a very open mind and do not indulge in self-righteous judgments (I am not suggesting that you would) towards the natives or expats either.  Come with a live-and-let live attitude.  Recognize that all have a right to pursue happiness and you should be as welcome as anybody else.  Finding paradise is relative. We all have different needs and in the Philippines many of the people have simple needs, and people are happiest when they are spending time with their families.  Pinoys in general are a wonderful people, very embracing of outsiders who show an interest in their culture.  Other than that, its up to you, up to what your needs are. 

I have found that living in the Philippines  taught me a great deal, especially to lose my prior thought that Western society and life was superior.  I learned from these people about values that were lost to us Westerners over the course of the last few generations.  The simple things in life are the best: beauty, familiar companionship, a loving partner, and a minimum emphasis on materialism.  I have a beautiful wife 24 years my junior. We have been married for 11 years and I thank her for introducing me to the wonderful life that can be had in the Philippines.

Well, there are depraved people all over the world. You don't have to go to the Philippines to see them, but I an tell from reading your post that you are not an open-minded person and, whether you want to realize it or not, you do engage in forming self-righteous judgmental opinions.  Generalizations formed upon a half-dozen comments from women whose motives you don't really have a handle on is not a good practice.  Yes, men love women to the extent that they will never stop loving them or pursuing them no matter how old they themselves are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as they are not hurting anybody.  Most older women who travel in the world and see older men with younger women get upset at the sight, but it really is due to the fact that these women are filled with resentment because they feel they are missing out on something, that men should not be able to have young women to  glorify their lives and women can't, in most cases, enjoy that.  It seems that back in the West, when celebrities have young wives nobody bothers to criticize or be sanctimonious towards them: I guess they feel that brilliance or talent transcends "morality".  What difference does it make in the universe?  In this world? Or should it in your world?  Life is short....People have a right to pursue happiness....If you want to find happiness in the Philippines,  or any other place outside the West,  you will go a long way by first freeing yourself of your male resentment.  Also, there is no need for sanctimony in a modern world where there are no absolutes!  You should feel ashamed for branding all older men who are with younger women- many of these men are married to them!- as "dirty old men".  There are such a thing as dirty old women, too.  They are the ones who hold the same  baseless and bitter opinions that you have.

What is now terrifying  is that the Philippines signed an agreement with the US and there will be bases set up or expanded around the Philippines.  One of the sites is on the sanctuary island of Palawan.  Already, local fishermen near the designated naval base have been told they can no longer fish in local waters, waters they have been fishing for generations.  This is most likely the beginning of the contamination of magnificent nature, the kind of contamination that you mention in your comments.  It is sad and disturbing.  Wherever the US goes it spreads destruction. Philippinos need to stand up to this and renew its rejection of a US presence there.  The vulgarity of its culture will only make life worse in the Philippines, especially in the areas where its bases are set up.

All best of luck to you and your family.  The simple life is best.  As long as the basics are taken care of and you have family, you have a lot.  God bless.

Hello Ate1

I can relate with a lot of what you have taken the time to write of.
I am by nature a person of compassion, and of an open mind.  And yes, I too do not like the ways in which the modern western world is heading. Hence as to why I need to look elsewhere, where one is appreciated.

Take care, Vee

As with many aspects of life - if you believe everything you read in the press you are going to have a very biased picture of things. Having lived in the UK, Malaysia, Thailand and the Philippines for several years now, my opinion is that you have good/bad everywhere. Muslims in Malaysia are generally very respectful, friendly and charming - until they get behind the wheel of a car that is! Some of the most aggressive driving I have ever experienced has been in Malaysia. Thailand has easy access to wonderful, cheap around the clock food, healthcare and infrastructure, but trust a Thai? Never! Buddhist culture is all well and good, but the country isn't filled with Dali Lamas. The general populous has become overweight, greedy and the beaches massively over developed. What hit's you in the face about the Philippines is that although generally poorer than Thailand, they have a much better respect for the ocean and are generally quite ecologically aware. Marine life is far more abundant, and the development of coastal areas is relatively well restricted. It is, however, more expensive to rent/buy/live in the Philippines than it is in Thailand. Electricity is extremely expensive, as is internet, TV and other basic services.

Your Basic State Pension is likely to be indexed-linked in Thailand soon too (due to much Pension reform) but if you are recently retired with "a good few years left" then indeed moving to a country where it is index linked now is prudent.

I am 'only' 45 but semi retired and have found more contented expat people in the Philippines than in Thailand. It is easy to bring a Westernised opinion of relationships to Asia. In Europe the age difference between couples is minimal, with many career women leaving childbirth to the very last minute whereas in Asia if you were a woman of 30 and childless they would think you were very strange? Women have children as per the body clock Mother Nature gave them, period. They also look for stability from older men who can yes, in many instances help them and their family get out of poverty. Do working class girls in the UK marry high society men? No. It is the same in Asia Vee, although with more and more Asians becoming successful due to economic 'boom times' the 'White Man' is no longer King.

In retirement you still have to think longer term about your general health and even possibly assisted care. General medication/drugs are cheaper in Thailand but care is far more expensive. You may not need it now, but should you ever need some help - Philippines wins hands down. You will not find a more caring bunch of people anywhere in the world. As for crime? You are far more likely to be robbed in the UK than in Asia. Much of the crime in Asia is from drink, drugs and gambling - a part of society you are not likely to be involved with.

The beaches in the Philippines are mind blowing, with more sailing and less motorised noise than anywhere else in this part of the world. You can still find plenty of unspoilt beaches that are unlikely to be developed too much in our lifetime. Davao always ranks highly and is even referred to by many as "mini Singapore". Perhaps that is a little over optimistic, but the provinces there have good Governance and less corruption than other areas. Others here have mentioned Subic and Clark Freeport Zones which are old US airforce/marine campuses - but I really do not understand why? I live 5 minutes from Clark FPZ and it is like a time warp in there! Subic FPZ has a but more character but the beaches are all poor by Philippine standards.

We are currently doing a lot of research on our next place to live and have schools to consider, but thus far Davao and the coastal regions of Batangas look promising. We have traveled quite a bit around the Philippines and although Palawan and Borocay are 'nice' they really dont have much cultural heritage compared to the 'mainland' islands. OK for tourism but the novelties soon wear off after a while.

I am sure you wouldn't classify yourself as a 'beach bum' looking to ride the next big wave and I suspect you would ideally like a balance between beaches, culture, infrastructure and amenities. Davao seems to have a bit of everything. A well governed area, and close to the shore where you can experience whale watching, turtle sanctuaries, fishing, and abundant marine activities - with the convenience of being able to pop into a city and buy a few good books too!

As I mentioned earlier, I have not seen as many generally happy and contented expats anywhere else in Asia, so the Philippines must be doing something right. You will be very safe as a woman here and it will be much easier to speak to locals and build friendships due to English being widely spoken/understood. You might consider yourself a bit cavalier living somewhere where there are not so many foreign women living [yet] but that is changing quite rapidly.

There will always be an element of older US/European men with younger wife's here, but that is no different to the thousands of divorced European women I have seen in Turkey chasing young men as playthings! If you embrace Buddhism culture (as you do) then give some thought to Buddhist marriages in the provinces of Thailand where they can have a "Buddha wedding" at the age of 13 - legally!!!!! You wont see THAT in the Philippines )

Don't think to much more about it. Come, wander and you will soon find a wonderful place to call home. And the locals will make you wonder why you didn't do it sooner. They are lovely and in many respects, the poorer they are, the more God fearing. Compared to the narcissism of Western culture (very prevalent in Thailand now) - the Philippines remains a place yet to be overwhelmed and ruined by dumb-ass rich people who think they know best!. See you in a hammock soon. Andrew.x

Ate1 wrote:

What is now terrifying  is that the Philippines signed an agreement with the US and there will be bases set up or expanded around the Philippines.  One of the sites is on the sanctuary island of Palawan.  Already, local fishermen near the designated naval base have been told they can no longer fish in local waters, waters they have been fishing for generations.  This is most likely the beginning of the contamination of magnificent nature, the kind of contamination that you mention in your comments.  It is sad and disturbing.  Wherever the US goes it spreads destruction. Philippinos need to stand up to this and renew its rejection of a US presence there.  The vulgarity of its culture will only make life worse in the Philippines, especially in the areas where its bases are set up.

I find it hard to believe you are a US citizen after reading this garbage...When the US was previously in the Philippines, the country was considered a 2nd world nation...When we left it quickly turned to a 3rd world nation...Talk about pollution and poisoning the waters and land...After we left...Baguio park and many surrounding areas have become trash sites...It hasn't the beauty it once had...In all the major cities throughout the Philippines especially the water ways and rivers are contaminated with sewage, trash, chemical dumping with a stench that even the squatters who live on them can barely stand...Everywhere you go there is trash piled up on street corners being a breeding ground for rats and disease...Manila Bay is almost a dead of life as is many of the rivers in the cities and any fish which do live are contaminated and deformed with cancerous tumors....The US Army Corps of engineers are the ones who initially built the toll roads from Batangas up to Clark Air base...The US poured millions into their economy...Personally I think the US is making a big mistake going back in because it is just going to cost you and other US taxpayers billions to rebuild what they the Filipinos have managed to allow to deteriorate over the past 20 years...And the government there will only exploit us even further...You need to get yourself abreast to what is more detrimental to the Philippines and it definitely isn't the USA...

First of all, if you think that the Philippines is so mismanaged, why do you live there?  Maybe it is time for you to go. My criticism of the American governments presence in the Philippines is with the presence of the American military, which is a degenerate culture.  I was in the US military(army) for six years and can attest to what American military culture introduces to the surrounding areas of its bases.  Do some reading about Guam and Okinawa!  Angeles City is a by-product that fed off the presence of the US military.  Don't be so jingo-istic about the US.  National self-criticism is a part of free-speech; its part of the American system of values.  Just because you are American does not think you should be defending or sugar-coating your government or its institutions.  Philippinos are very sensitive about keeping their distance from the US.  The fact that the Philippino government has allowed US bases to be set up there is a very controversial decision, one which many,many Philippinos are not comfortable with.  Who better than an American can comment on the degraded culture of his own country?  Don't let your over-sensitivity get the better of your ability to see objectively!   Yes, the US has done much more good in the Philippines than the previous colonial masters- the Spanish- but if they were so wonderful for Philippino welfare, the Philippinos would  not have been so ardent to get rid of them and worked to keep the US at a distance.  The best the US can do is stay back at home and stay out of the business of other nations' lives!  The US as we know it is a dying nation, and will most likely evolve into something with much less  stature than it once had.  If you ask me, it is for the best for the world.  Contemporary American culture is a disease that needs to be contained.  I do love my country but I also am not blind as to what has been happening to it for these past 60 years.  This should give cause as to why so many nurture the dream to escape it, to search for some paradise they think exists in the world.  The last thing the Philippines needs is for a US institution such as the military to be there contaminating its culture and society.

Keep exploring!  There are many places where you can find a niche for yourself in the world, and the Philippines is no exception.  If you really want quiet and natural beauty, explore Leyte and Samar, but keep to their west side; the east side faces the open ocean.  Davao is nice but you have to be vigilant about where you take trips around it and also know that it is a prime target site for Muslim violence when the political situation unbalances.  It could enjoy a period of safety and then erupt into a danger zone.  It all depends on the shifting tide of Muslim and government relations.  The NPA is also active all over the eastern sections, from Agusan down to the Compostela area and the mountains of Davao Oriental.  The real safety zone right now is in the Davao City proper area..  Better to think of another island other than Mindanao for long term retirement.

I have a question for you Ate1:  How long have you lived in the Philippines and where have you lived there...Just curious because your profile says you currently live NYC and you wish to move to the Philippines in the future...

Thanks for Your Cooperation

HI.  Actually, I live in both places. I live six months Philippines, six months in the States and have been doing that for almost five years now.  Rizal is my base of operations in the Philippines, in Luzon.  From there I have visited different islands and spent varying amounts of time exploring them. Most of my friends are from the Makati area and some of the surrounding areas. Cebu is the area that I actually prefer because it is a mid-sized city and much cleaner than Manila/Makati area, has less traffic and the people are friendlier.  Where I live when in the Philippines there is a lot of crime,much of it spurred on by drug addiction.  I retired early and lived in parts of South America( one year) and spent two months living in Thailand.  I like the Philippines but thought it best not to make a radical move. I have slowly acclimated myself to the life there and decided that I would wait before doing a transition over to living there continuously throughout  the year.  But even before I began living there for several months at a time, I was familiar with the culture for many years.  Sometimes I come back to the States, stay for two months and then return to the Philippines.  Going back and forth can be a good style of living if you can do it.  I don't recommend you living in the Philippines for a  long time at first.  Try living there for several months at a time as a sampling; then come home and spend time home for a while and then, if you like, return to the Philippines and live in another part of it for several months until you get a really good feel for what life would be like there on a permanent basis.  Its quite a major shift in your life to move to a foreign country. Just the culture shock alone will eventually wear on you and make you think you made a mistake; so do it as if you were testing the waters over time and it will make it easier for you to adjust, should you decide to do it.  The longest we have spent there at any one time is 9 months.  You need to have thick skin to put up with the red-tape procedures, brown outs, and people who are constantly trying to get as much out of you as possible.  My plan is to move to a province in Cebu. We will downsize the house hear to a small condo and use it as a base of operations in the States (turn-key unit).  My problem is that I have many friends, especially balikbayans, in Luzong, so moving to Cebu would cut down on my social life.  I dwell on my decision process so, as you can see, it may take me some time to decide.  Better to be sure about the major moves you make.

Ate1, I have lived in the Philippines for over 4 years now...I return to the US every year for a few months...If the Filipino culture and morality is so great, why is it all my Filipino friends back in the USA even the divorced women don't want to move back to the Philippines...They only return for visits..

Well, you are living there for four years: you tell me!  Hehehe...There must be something you like about the Philippines and the people.  I have traveled the world and in my opinion the pinoys are among the friendliest, warmest people I have met.  One thing to keep in mind- wherever there is destitution there will be desperate people; desperate people do desperate things  You can't fault people who live their lives under abject deprivation from having less than sterling morals.  Man in general is a despicable creature!  I find the excuse for immorality less understandable and mitigating than I would for the same conduct in a prosperous western society.  However, that being said, on average, I am much more comfortable living among Philippinos than I am among "my own people" in the States.  I am not saying they are better people; I am just saying they have certain values and perspectives on life that make me feel very comfortable living among them.  Nobody is perfect. We all have to find what works best for our personality, or outlook on life. 

Me too, I have many Philippino friends in the States who tell me they would never go back to live in their country. The reasoning is various:  many do not like the weather there; many say they have their children or grand children in the States and they want to be close to them; some say they are spoiled and would miss the level of luxury of living in the States.  Many of my pinoy friends who are retired spend their time with their families or with other Philippino social clicks they have formed.  The various reason are understandable. 

Maybe part of the appeal of living abroad lies in the fact of just escaping the homeland.  Now-a-days many Westerners, Americans, British and Europeans, are very bewildered and unhappy with the direction that their countries have taken and are driven by escapism.  Maybe that is part of it, I am almost sure of that. Many Western people have become jaded and also have lost faith in their countries and just want to fill their remaining years with a little peace of mind before they leave this world.  That is why I think the best philosophy is to keep an open mind about people and their values and dreams.  Respecting one another and avoiding judgement are  truly  good human virtues to pursue.  Its one of the best things we can do to make the world a better place to live in for all of us.  Good luck and God bless!

Hi. I forgot to mention to you that you may want to explore the possibility of living in Malaysia.  The Malaysians are more advanced than the Philippinos when it comes to competing in the retirement market.  Many countries are vying with one another to lure prospective retirees to come and live in their country.  Malaysia is at the top of the list in terms of marketing strategy.  It is the only country in Asia that allows free-hold, meaning as a foreigner you can hold title to land or a home.  They make it very easy to obtain a residency visa: I believe they offer a 10 year renewable visa. Their terms are very reasonable.  The Philippines has a department called the Philippine retirement authority (or some name like that!) which was charged with making the Philippines competitive in this market, but they have been doing a very poor job, showing little imagination or willingness to make the process of living in the Philippines an easy one.  Don't let the fact that Malaysians are primarily Muslim scare you.  The country is secure and many areas are cosmopolitan,  The food is good and there are many expats living there.  You may want to try that place, spend some time there to find out. The cost of living is very reasonable.  All this being said, my preference is with the Philippines because I am so familiar with the culture already and I think there is more geographical variety to explore.  My philosophy in general about retirement is to pursue a nomadic style until I feel the organic need to really sprout deep roots in one place.  Another place to explore is Ecuador.  The weather is great if you like cool mountain air.  The beaches are ok but nothing like the Philippines or Malaysia.

Vee52, keeping your home as a rental property may not be such a bad idea.  If you take that money in cash what will you do as a retiree if inflation hits hard?  Or there is serious devaluation?  If you can earn a good rent, that money will do you good in a foreign land where the cost of living is less and you still have a "hard asset" in case things crash when you are older.  Pick an age to sell the house and the use up your money. You can't take it with you!  My home is ready for sale (I got it in good shape) or rental.  I will make my decision in a few years. I just want to see how the economy goes.  Europe is in bad shape, and so is the US, however the US business community has over a trillion in reserves. When they start spending it it might have a great impact on the economy and then I might feel  more at ease about the future.  You have to plan for contingencies- good and bad.

Ate1 wrote:

Hi. I forgot to mention to you that you may want to explore the possibility of living in Malaysia.  The Malaysians are more advanced than the Philippinos when it comes to competing in the retirement market.  Many countries are vying with one another to lure prospective retirees to come and live in their country.  Malaysia is at the top of the list in terms of marketing strategy.  It is the only country in Asia that allows free-hold, meaning as a foreigner you can hold title to land or a home.  They make it very easy to obtain a residency visa: I believe they offer a 10 year renewable visa. Their terms are very reasonable.  The Philippines has a department called the Philippine retirement authority (or some name like that!) which was charged with making the Philippines competitive in this market, but they have been doing a very poor job, showing little imagination or willingness to make the process of living in the Philippines an easy one.  Don't let the fact that Malaysians are primarily Muslim scare you.  The country is secure and many areas are cosmopolitan,  The food is good and there are many expats living there.  You may want to try that place, spend some time there to find out. The cost of living is very reasonable.  All this being said, my preference is with the Philippines because I am so familiar with the culture already and I think there is more geographical variety to explore.  My philosophy in general about retirement is to pursue a nomadic style until I feel the organic need to really sprout deep roots in one place.  Another place to explore is Ecuador.  The weather is great if you like cool mountain air.  The beaches are ok but nothing like the Philippines or Malaysia.

Way to much crime in Ecuador...Not a very safe country for Americans...I had one Friend who was robbed twice at the beach in 2 days...lol..Same thing in RIO, Brazil...Just not that safe in So America...Many natives have escaped to the USA

That is very interesting that you say that. I have never had anybody ask me for money there, except maybe some street kids who were begging.. It could be that you are hanging out with the wrong Philippinos.  If you hang out with poor people like that who ask for money, middle-class pinoys will look down on you.  People usually socialize with those of their own income bracket.  There are degenerates all over the world and degeneracy is not related to age.  There are many depraved young pinoys as there are in Western countries.  It is also interesting that you would use that word "old fart" when you are within five years of retirement!  That is funny.

I was in Cagayan de Oro and when asking about weather patterns, the locals told me that they do not get typhoons.  The year after that there was a torrential downpour and flash floods that killed thousands!  Many people were swept out into the bay while sleeping in their homes.  Usually Cagayan enjoys decent weather but never think you are safe anyplace in the Philippines with regard to safety from weather.  The issue with Mindanao is that you will be restricted to certain provinces and you had better not press your luck in deviating from the recommendations.  Cagayan was nice and I went down to ILigan, which is about 30% Muslim.  I was urged not to travel any further south.  Lanao around the lake is a place to say away from, as well as going further south from there.  Zamboanga? Not a good idea....Maguindanao, Cotabato?  Not a good idea.  The mountains in Davao Oriental has NPA and if you goolge the area (NPA and government troops, conflict) you will find information on combat fighting and civilian deaths.  I followed that conflict because I wanted to see the extent of danger for tourist travel around Maragusan, which is a nice montane area, and found out that it was best to forget it.  For retirement, consider an island where you will have more freedom to roam around with more security.  Mindanao is ok for brief tourist jaunts, but you really have to pinpoint where you will  roost and keep well informed as where not to risk going.

Hi. I liked your post and I agree with your comments. Usually, the people who express horror or disgust at seeing older guys with young women have some psychological issues. This is my opinion.  Like the guy who posted about "old farts" who are "degenerates".  For younger guys the problem is jealousy.  Usually these guys are deeply unhappy with their social lives and are upset to see an old guy is getting what they desire in their life and somehow they feel aggrieved because they feel it is owed to them, that the old guy is stealing what should belong to them by virtue of their age!  What I find so absurd is that these guys would dare to imply that they are some how "moral" or "virtuous". Hahahaha...What would make such an idiot think that he has not revealed his insecurities?  Somehow an old guy with a young girl is evil? Or perverted for desiring a woman?  Give me twenty minutes with one of these guys and I will expose the dynamic of their psychological insecurities which are expressing themselves in morally criticizing others, others who are in many instances their superior as a human being.  The guy with the wife his own age who thinks older men with young women are degenerates is most likely harboring sexual envy. Either real love for his wife, or complacency or sheer guilt, keeps him married and he fights every day to keep his sexual urges repressed because he can't pursue their fulfillment.  So he lashes out at those he secretly envies, trying to convince himself that he is morally superior by debasing others.  Its all about  finding out a way to put out the fire in him so he can get on with his life.  These guys  are textbook cases.

Great post Ate1 

I live in Laos, my wife is considerably younger than me and I have never had the problem of 'young wife old degenerate husband '

Hehehe...I love to hear that! Love to hear about guys who never lose there zest for living.  Life as a man or woman does not stop at retirement age.  It stops when you die.  Almost all people who express opinions about other people's morality or lack of don't know that others who listen to them passing judgment are figuring out the reasons behind their thinking.  We know that those who like to judge are no priests and certainly no models of humanity.  The married western couples who express this judgement are figured out the easiet: the woman is terrified that her husband will get ideas of having a young woman and leave her, so she expresses outrage.  The sight of an older guy with a young girl awakens lust in the husband, a lust he can't fulfill because he is locked out of that game because he is married; so he controls his frustration by making it out to be a "moral issue", as if the himself really has moral integrity!  His moral sensibility is as counterfeit as monopoly money.   Enjoy your life, young man!  Hehehe

Yes, and the world is getting smaller and smaller and there are fewer and fewer places we can escape to.  Hurry up and stake your claim under your coconut tree!

Ate1 wrote:

That is very interesting that you say that. I have never had anybody ask me for money there, except maybe some street kids who were begging.. It could be that you are hanging out with the wrong Philippinos.  If you hang out with poor people like that who ask for money, middle-class pinoys will look down on you.  People usually socialize with those of their own income bracket.  There are degenerates all over the world and degeneracy is not related to age.  There are many depraved young pinoys as there are in Western countries.  It is also interesting that you would use that word "old fart" when you are within five years of retirement!  That is funny.

Who are you referring to in this post???

Hi. Sorry, not referring to you. It was intended for the person who made some snide remarks about "old fart degenerates" in the Philippines.  He called the older men with young women whom he saw "degenerates" and "old farts", when at the same time he mentioned that he was retiring within five years  He was ridiculous and judgemental, so I commented. I obviously sent it to you by mistake. Sorry.

I'm brand new to this forum and frankly, I'm a bit taken aback by some of the entrenched attitudes and remarks on here... People do things and make life decisions for many different reasons-whether rightly or wrongly motivated...
what is right for one person to do may quite probably be wrong for another etc etc...
condemning age gap relationships and the participants in general because of pedophilia is both asinine and short sighted, as is saying that ALL relationships eventually boil down to money and finances etc...
we humans tend to get the pendulum swinging madly off in all directions and want to force everyone to adhere to our own standards and view points... that only speaks to our own short sightedness and narrow minded insecurities...
I'm really interested in what Kimmela and Vee have to say, because deep down, skin tones and cultural differences aside-people are people and we all are seeking much the same things in life...
I'm not one to enter into a relationship with a huge disparity in age, I'm also certainly not about to judge nor condemn anyone who goes there-we ALL have to decide and at some point answer to the consequences of our decisions and actions...
anyway, I thought this was intended to be about the feasibility of a single lady to happily and successfully expatriate to the philippines???

Vee it sounds to me like the stress of your employment situation is no longer worth any compensation you receive to be there.... I'm sure you'll be much happier and healthier once you retire...

Ate1
Yes, its good to hear your view re: rental of property.
Renting does make sense, as was already in my thoughts; its just making that final decision.
Take care, Vee

Hi jukebowhero
Good initial Blog

And I appreciate your comment re: Letting go .... and taking that leap into retirement .... My employers afterall, arent really interested in my welfare after all these years, and not forgetting, have eaten away at my/our local government pension scheme, as a way subsidising the public purse. You are absolutely right. Time to go ..... So Scotty ... time to <<beam>> me up  </beam>

Hi. Yes, I agree with you.  The topic got off track when somebody began mouthing off about how offended he was to see older guys with young women.  As a matter of fact, he was quite disparaging in his comments.  This automatically invited a heated response.  Your attitude is a good one.  I just find it disturbing that people who are looking to find a little happiness in their retirement years start off by smuggling their personal poison along with them to wherever they are going.  My feeling is, leave the unmerited self-righteousness at home, or leave yourself at home!  But I think the off-track spin the conversation took was also added by some or one of the single ladies implied a similar opinion.  As you said, keeping a open mind and not judging people is the best policy, especially when the one doing the criticizing is  so often so lacking in character himself.

vetretreat wrote:

Ate1, I have lived in the Philippines for over 4 years now...I return to the US every year for a few months...If the Filipino culture and morality is so great, why is it all my Filipino friends back in the USA even the divorced women don't want to move back to the Philippines...They only return for visits..

They are your friends.  Ask them.  Reasons for moving (and staying) to the Philippines varies per individual and their situation. Do not generalize.