How to deal with stress when moving to Thailand

If its this stressfull already then don't.  Otherwise plan plan and plan. do your math and make sure you can afford to. Do your homework?and stop worrying otherwise as per first comment you never will. 😙

It probably wouldn’t work for most but my approach to Thailand has basically been that of an explorer and not a searcher.  Instead of searching for specific items or trying to satisfy specific criteria, I was fascinated to find out what was around the next corner or over the next hill.  Trying to force Thailand to fulfill your wants and needs can be stressful.  Enjoying the journey and being excited by all the new sights, sounds, smells, foods and customs is important when you are in a place where nothing is what you are used to back home.

If your main motivators are financial difficulties and loneliness but you want everything else to be unchanged from what you are used to, then I can imagine you are going to have a very stressful time here and I am not sure alcohol or yoga will do much to make you feel better.  I suppose one could always join an online forum and complain a lot as a way to reduce stress but the chances are that too won’t make you feel any better.

Some can live a happy existence creating multiple profiles. Some can even claim to be happy. Some will see through the BS and spend more time highlighting it. Should cast enough doubt.

Then again some people are actually happy and successful in life, never get banned from forums, don't need to create multiple profiles and maintain a single online profile across multiple social media platforms for more than a decade, without the need to stalk other members and cast doubt.  I think some people need to find a new hobby.

Dear Rc . . . I didn't catch your point re your response to the topic of how to deal with stress when moving to Thailand. However it sounds interesting. Could you possibly clarify, elaborate? Thank you. Kind regards.   dcb

davidcolinburt wrote:

Dear Rc . . . I didn't catch your point re your response to the topic of how to deal with stress when moving to Thailand. However it sounds interesting. Could you possibly clarify, elaborate? Thank you. Kind regards.   dcb

Hi Daivd,

It's pretty obvious there's some trolling (stalking) going on in recent posts and in this post. If you manage to get a straight & truthful answer to your request above, I would be extremely surprised.

If the trolling continues, we can ask the moderator to ban for being abusive...

Kindly, Zeus (Expat advisor)

Hello Rc2702. VF can log a jarring opinion once in a blue moon, including once with me -- I quickly noted, however sincere that I thought I was at the time, that the scope of my experience and thinking was somewhat limited in that particular post -- I made a quick fix, learned something and moved on.

I, for one, thoroughly enjoy the VF posts and have absorbed lots of valuable information from VF. ZW is also at that level. They both help to raise the bar in these online forums, inspiring other contributors to submit some very interesting thoughts, personal accounts and perspectives. VF and ZW have been forthcoming and, from my perspective, I see that they are consistent rock steady contributors.

As for me, I have written in various forums, straight from the heart. I'm fairly new here -- going on a couple of years I think. If I ever make an error in my writing that sends a message that I did not intend, I offer an apology as soon as I see it. This is no problem for me as I am a trained investigative evidence-based researcher who is both writer and critic of my own work -- I have to be . . . Check for injury, dust off the jeans, get back on the horse. 

These forums are great; however, may I posit a note that we can all see that we have strayed way off topic, almost from the get-go, i.e. the very interesting topic of dealing with stress? I could certainly like to get back on track here. I find this topic valuable and maybe even healthy.

I also look forward to learning more about your perspectives, Rc, hearing your experiences and reading some of your stories and thoughts related to this topic. What positive suggestions might you offer to your readers re coping with stress in the host nation? What has worked for you in any given situation? That would be greatly appreciated. Kindest regards and best wishes.   dcb

davidcolinburt,

As always... You bring a level of calmness and thoughtfulness to this forum and to this post.

I enjoy so much reading your posts and thinking about your meaning. Please continue...

Thanks kindly, Zeus

Something that was particularly stressful for me personally was when we purchased a car.

The car purchase was not the issue it was the using of the car that rankered me.

The idea of me not being about and my Mrs using the car  during my being away really got to me.

The solution for me was to always have her drive and it's been that way for 2+ years. 

At the beginning it was difficult. I recall once my Mrs made a sharp unplanned manoeuvre to avoid a snake in this busy road. We were luck and foolish.

She has approximately 10,000km of driving experience these last 2 years.

Yes: Driving -- That's a good one. I let the taxi drivers do the driving, especially when I'm in the big city. Maneuvering through traffic in Bangkok is either a dizzying obstacle course or an agonizing crawl. Riding on the back of a motor bike is also a stressful experience. I'd prefer to walk, but my wife doesn't mind it at all -- It's all rock 'n roll for her while I'm flipping out. I love driving around the islands but you never know what is going to crawl, jump, fly or swing in front of you. Yes, and the knee-jerk reaction is to swerve -- dangerous. So, I guess a way to avoid this kind of stress and shock is to project ahead be mentally prepared to deal with the worst case scenarios and surprises.

For me, the idea of being mentally prepared / mentally projecting ahead also goes for moving to and living in Thailand. Things are exciting at first, but good old culture shock eventually sets in. Having to learn a new language is extremely stressful. Using body language and carrying a pen and notepad for drawing pictures are helpful visual aids. Relying on a pocket dictionary can be painfully slow when trying to communicate. Writing the survival words and phrases down is a good starting point. Getting the spoken intonations down is a hurdle. There is a pretty good online course that focuses on reading and phonics that gives me some comfort. Regular learning and practice helps to reduce the stress for me.

So, crazy traffic and struggling to learn at least some survival language are two major sources of stress. I have to remind myself that exercising that good old sense of humour is especially helpful. Hanging out with farangs is OK for a bit but maybe that's only a bandage while one is on the journey to acculturation in the host world.  And, yeah . . . I want to give a home or at least medical attention to the needy street dogs . . . and raise a stink about any mistreated elephants. The list goes on and on, so I will stop here. I'm grateful for the good food,  well brewed beer,  great music, gorgeous country and everything the Thai flag stands for.

Anyway, that's my two bits. Any advice is always welcome.  dcb

I'll just weigh in related to the initial question instead of the rest.

It can be stressful adapting to a new culture.  That can lead to the ever-present debate theme of whether completely integrating is the right solution, learning the local language, eating the local foods, adopting the perspective, etc., or if there is another way to strike a reasonable balance.  Either approach takes time, adopting a much more Thai perspective or working out another balance, or so it seems to me.

For me getting a break helps reset things.  Vacationing works, visiting a different place and culture.  It doesn't need to be back "home," back to the West, and it can help to support acclimation to visit a similar but different culture, over in Laos or Cambodia, for example.  Really the culture-shock and later acclimation steps are as much about positioning in a role within a culture as anything else.  For someone working in Thailand they need to adapt to a working environment and culture.  English teachers often probably need to adapt to a new line of work.  Retirees would probably need to switch from a vacation oriented perspective framework to sorting out what to do with full-time conditions.  It most likely wouldn't work to just extend a two-week beach vacation lifestyle to a way of living all year round.

It might seem there is a conflict in what I've said then, since I'm claiming going over to Cambodia, maybe for a two-week beach vacation outing, can help someone adapt to year round living conditions.  For me it's just a reset, a break; it's not as if I've ever truly learned to understand and embrace Thai culture on week long outings to other local countries.  We travel a good bit locally and the same would work anywhere in Thailand too, just getting out a bit and seeing what else is around.

Hello everyone,

Just to inform you that some posts have been removed from this thread so that we could put the topic back on track.

All the best,
Bhavna

We moved to a new city just 6 months ago and it has proven to be a good choice for many reasons so far.

We lived in the city of the province my partners family are from for just under 2 years. Within 12 months after experiencing the city and researching the area I realised the place was completely lacking and I had major doubts we were in the right place.

Just from a immigration services/reporting basis the city was 68km from the nearest office.

We checked everything from hospitals, land costs, schools, local amenities. Along the way we noticed the high turnover of business's such as restaurants. The place is totally lacking.

About 6 weeks ago the PM of Thailand mentioned this province on national TV and made a damning statement of the province. He said it had been forgotten and basically reinforced my own assessment.

We went back there last week to visit the folks and local temple and sample the one restaurant we missed so much.

The owner looked confused when he saw me, worried why I had not been there in 6 months. When I explained we had moved and told him where, his face lit up as later this year his restaurant is moving there. I asked him why the move and he said the same thing about the city. It is forgotten and business is very slow for him with only a handful of clients who are always the same clients.

Whilst we are pretty happy with the move and our choice of location I am wondering if we should rock the boat a bit and move to another part of the city just to keep learning about the place.

This would not happen for 6 more months as we have a contract we will honour but I'm thinking if the landlord wanted a new contract stipulating 12 more months as opposed to a rolling month by month agreement after the 12 months has elapsed, i'd be tempted to try somewhere else.

Knowing my partner enjoyed the idea of being close to her families home was a difficult obstacle but she was great about it and a the situation was much easier to handle than I initially thought.

I think the idea of stress and moving to Thailand is a great topic that has room for many parameters. Let me split a hair. Moving in and of itself has it's stress. Moving something like 12,000 miles generates additional stress. Just to start with I wanted to do some business today in the States. Unfortunately today is Monday in Thailand and Sunday in the states. So, to me the question arose, how does one cope with such situations.

Another factor that arises with this question is that of age. If I was 25 years old then moving to Thailand would have it's adventurous umbrella. When I was 20 years old I was stationed in DaNang,Vietnam, during the war. I was an aircraft computer tech. However, I became an English teacher with the State Department and enjoyed that exploratory adventure one might find. It was my introduction to the far east and it was great. But today I am far from being 20 years (darned) and that brings up different concerns. So age becomes part of the matrix of moving to Thailand.

I will revert to reitrcheap.asia where a great point was brought up. If you go to Thailand to "run away" from whatever, then it won't work. One ends up bringing their excess baggage with them, like it or or not. If you go to Thailand for any other reason, then satisfy that reason first.

Stress in itself is a healthy indication. It means that the person feels a need for a change for whatever reason that may be. It's no different then the biological process of fight or flight. The issue arises as to what does one do with the need for change. Alcohol is one answer but it does not resolve anything,. Exploring could be one answer, but it's not the total answer. Using social media is now seeing it's limitations. It's a matter of overcoming the unending stress, and coping with it, and finding what best fits you and makes you most happy. One stress reducer for me is having a Thai friend who can help me through the maze of complications with living in Thailand. (Thai Immigration can be a great source for stress, especially when we are not citizens and have no rights.)

So much for this mini dissertation.

Stress in Thailand is to drive on an open road in the rural areas and a motorbike magically appears on the road from a sugar cane field at the speed of light
To relieve this stress have a dashcam and pray to whoever you beleive or dont believe in.
I have driven a lot in my life over 3 million Km in South Africa never an accident and now here 80 thousand no accident sofar, touch wood.
I have found no real stress in Thailand except that which you create for yourself by not accepting that you are a visitor here and never will be a citizen.I try and live and accept the Thai philosophy of what will be will be.
In the beginning I realised that I was not going to change Thailand and once I accepted this I have been fine.
Living in rural Thailand has given me a new perspective on life,totally different from the Western lifestyle.
Eat Thai food and hardly ever Farang food.No arguments about that.
Have a person cleaning the house once a week and if I had been a Hotel manager I would have had a heart attack but I am a 74 year old pensioner and live with the way the house is cleaned.Reclean afterwards haha
Life is a journey enjoy the journey you only have one chance

No Stress in Thailand for me.

As i write before because i was so sick back in Denmark, I was more or less inside my apartment the whole  time for nearly 8 years before i come to Thailand on a trip, after my Doctor told me to take a trip to Asian. (I pick Thailand only because i have familie the come to Thailand every year at that time)

The climate here was so good for me right away, So i want to move here.
I found out it was possible to stay here on ED-Visa / ED-Extension back then.
So when i return home to Denmark i check if it was possible to get my disability pension when living in Thailand, And lucky for me, It was :-)

No stress about moving here and living here.
I do fell moving here is a "Second Chance" for a live for me, When i comparing my live here in Thailand to the "live" i have back in Denmark.

I love Thai & Asian food, So that was easy to adjust to.
I really like the relax way many Thai is, And i do like the "mai pen rai" about many things here in Thailand. (Yes i do know, Many foreigner hate it) he he.

As i believe that when the Thai people want to change things, They going to change things, It is nothing to do with me, And therefor i dont stress over something i might think, Can be done better &  easy, I know so many foreigner want Thailand to be like their home country, And complain about it 24/7-365.

The only thing i dislike at my beginning here, Was Thai didnt come on time, Didnt call and say, They come later or cancel.
Where i come from it is rude, very rude, and i sign of disrespectful.
So i have to teach my wife and her familie the "hard" way what happened if they do that to me, And dont call and say they late or cant come.
Cant do anything about with "stranger Thai" like when they say we come 10 AM and come 4-5 PM, But our Thai familie & Thai Friends know to contact us if late or cancel.

I never have the idea i want to come to Thailand and become "Thai".
I am a Danish man living in Thailand with a Thai wife, And that never going to change in my mind.
I dont give in to all that Thai, But things i dont mind or even agree with i am okay with.
But my wife, her familie and our friends adjust to me, As i adjust to them and Thailand, For me it is 2 way street.

So many Danish people here in Thailand, Told me back then, That i was wrong, Never going to work.
But here little more then 7 years later, I am having the great time of my live, Still with the same women, That have become my wife.
I have a super great Thai familie and Thai friends, I really cant ask for more in my live.

Kindly.

PS: Sorry for the long post.

Really great to hear from some happy campers for a change.  Whether something is stressful or not is largely determined by the personality of the individual, in my opinion.  I actually like driving up here where I live but everyone is different.  I stopped driving in Bangkok many years ago when they built the Sky Train.  The reason was not stress related but practical in nature.  Sky Train was quicker and there was no parking problem.  Not having to worry about your parked car when on extended trips out of the country was also a factor.

I taught my wife how to drive (which I did not find stressful) and she has turned out to be a safe and adequate driver but we are not wired the same.  She will sometimes have a startled reaction to something while I have already seen it and reacted calmly without any histrionics. 

I am sure she feels more stress than I do.  Part of that might be lack of experience but a big part of it is her personality.  Some people just stress out about things and others don’t.  She makes my life more interesting and I have a calming effect on her.

Learning the language will go a long ways toward reducing stress.

My wife driving will increase my stress to close to a stroke
She loves to scratch the car and has the typical Thai driving sense
She has had about 10 minor accidents in the last three years so no more driving.
She admits she is a terrible driver and i drive where ever we go
I dont drive in Bkk for the same reason as VF.
I had a light stroke in 2004 and the Physician told me that this was a warning.So no stress for me no wife driving and would have had another 10 by now if she had been driving.
Also stress is relative in my opinion..