"Plate Snatching" in Restaurants

Based on my experience with dining out it has to do with moving patrons in and out quickly, turning the tables.  Especially in smaller places that tend to be full.  Getting your butt out of the seat opens the table for someone else,

It's also self-inflicted.  My wife and her family are like that a lot.  Last bite in your mouth and they are standing up and saying "OK, go".  I have tried to explain dining in the US where 2-3 hour dinners are common.  They ask "what do you do all that time?  You can't eat that long."  I think the poorer people eating, whether at home or at a restaurant is strictly a means of stuffing sustinence down your gullet so you can get back to work, not meant as an enjoyable occasion.

When I go for business dinners which tend to be at least 1-2 nights a week they are generally 4 hour affairs and there are usually just 4-6 of us.  Eating is sprinkled in thoughout the time, heavier at the beginning and a few dishes showing up later, lots of beer consumed.  There they tend to grab plates quickly to make room for more dishes or to replace soiled dishes with fresh.

johnross23 wrote:

When I first arrived in Viet Nam in 2004, one of the first things I noticed was the tendency of servers in restaurants to grab your plate immediately after putting the last bit of food in your mouth before you could even finish chewing or even when there's a bit of food left on the plate if you happen to put your fork down for some reason.

Back then, my friend theorised that the practice had maybe started during and following the war when it was quite possible that there was a shortage of tableware, and the habit had continued into the new millennium.

For a number of years since returning, I thought the practice had died out, but recently, it seems to have come back into fashion. This is happening at some nice restaurants. In fact, it doesn't seem to happen at Vietnamese restaurants, so I wonder if it has something to do with the French?

Anyway, has this been your experience? Any ideas why this happens? Has the virus thing caused a shortage of tableware again?

Never been exposed to the plate snatching phenomenon, but any time we are out its getting the order delivered together & not like 10 minutes apart so one person is either trying to be polite & waiting for the other persons meal to come to the table or is starving & gets stuck in & finished before the other persons meal comes to the table.......if you know what I mean.

Lived in France (Montignac Sur Vezere Dordogne) for 3 years & ate out a lot there & never saw plate snatching there in fact the opposite, meals there were a very social thing & 3 hours was not unusual. So dont think we can blame the French for that one!
Men having a pee in full view at the road side, now that could originate from the French

I wouldn't mind the plate snatchers if they served all the main courses at the same time. A few times now have been out to eat in a group and half get their main course while the others have waited as long as 25 minutes.

When you quiz the waiting staff they look at you like you are from another planet. Try explaining that either those with meals wait and let their food go cold or they finish their meal before the rest turn up.

Best one was a local restaurant who served desert first before hot meals, when we tried to send it back she said but it will melt (Bingsu)

Jlgarbutt wrote:

I wouldn't mind the plate snatchers if they served all the main courses at the same time. A few times now have been out to eat in a group and half get their main course while the others have waited as long as 25 minutes.

When you quiz the waiting staff they look at you like you are from another planet. Try explaining that either those with meals wait and let their food go cold or they finish their meal before the rest turn up.

I've already given up on that one. 

Here.. have a plate of vetatable.  Five minutes later, here.. some fried rice.  Later yet, here is the fish you ordered after you finished the rice and vegatable.  Just sit there and eat fish alone and like it.

The concept of complimentary foods to be eaten together seems to not register.  I have tried to explain to my wife that yes, the potato belongs next to my steak which belongs next to my vegatable choice of the day.  And yes, they all arrive on my plate at one time and all are hot.  Oh, and everyone's plates arrive at the same time at the table.

Even at home she will make me something then make something for herself and insist that I eat.  So either I do that and then just sit and wait when she finishes making whatever and sits down to eat or I eat it with her, but the food is not hot.

It doesn't help to have a two burner gas stove thingy.  Trying to time a full meal to all be done at once is difficult without four burners.  Or limited cookware.  I don't cook a lot at home but I'm sure I have at least four times the cookware and utinsels that we have at this house.  But I'm going to just suck it up one more year on that one.

The only thing that amuses me is the Menu handout procedure.   And this seems prevalent  everywhere.

There could be 6 people at a table & and they give you ONE menu & then stand there with a pencil & note book impatiently waiting to write down the order.   

Ask for another menu & your given strange looks.

Ontheroad57 wrote:

The only thing that amuses me is the Menu handout procedure.   And this seems prevalent  everywhere.

There could be 6 people at a table & and they give you ONE menu & then stand there with a pencil & note book impatiently waiting to write down the order.   

Ask for another menu & your given strange looks.

You must go to upmarket restaurants. Most dont have a pen and paper and stuff up orders. I trained my wife to ask them to write things down, especially if they are busy.

Standing next to you after handing over the menu reminds me of seagulls hanging around for the chance to score a dropped chip.

The almost stand to attention pose with the one hand on heart or arm.. reminds me of something from street fighter

colinoscapee wrote:

Ontheroad57 wrote:

The only thing that amuses me is the Menu handout procedure.   And this seems prevalent  everywhere.

There could be 6 people at a table & and they give you ONE menu & then stand there with a pencil & note book impatiently waiting to write down the order.   

Ask for another menu & your given strange looks.

You must go to upmarket restaurants. Most dont have a pen and paper and stuff up orders. I trained my wife to ask them to write things down, especially if they are busy.

Standing next to you after handing over the menu reminds me of seagulls hanging around for the chance to score a dropped chip.

Not as bad as being followed around a shop. There are a couple here that when they follow me I ask them not to... So they walk a few places behind me, to which I say if you continue to follow me I will leave the shop

SteinNebraska wrote:

Oh, and everyone's plates arrive at the same time at the table.

This drives me crazy. I like to enjoy my food WITH my gf not after or before her. It has become the single most deciding factor when thinking about revisiting a restaurant for date night.

There's a Bagel place where we regularly have breakfast and they still haven't learned it despite being asked for being served our food at the same time. By now we have perfected the following, completely idiotic choreography:

1. Take our seats, immediately order my gf's bagel and my coffee
2. Wait two minutes
3. Call the totally ineducable waiter and order my gf's milkshake
4. Wait another two minutes
5. Call the waiter again and order my bagel
5. Receive everything after 5 more minutes of waiting

It's sad.

Ahh yes I forget the order drinks part and then have them arrive 10-15 minutes apart.

4P's pizza Vincom Megamall... random food delivery
GA Bia @ Imperia desert before main course


Best place for service so far is Union Jack's @ Thao Dien, expat owner, but has well trained Vietnamese staff..

Jlgarbutt wrote:

Best place for service so far is Union Jack's @ Thao Dien, expat owner, but has well trained Vietnamese staff..

Best place for service is a small fish restaurant on the broken pier in Rạch Hàm on the east coast of Phu Quoc, only accessible by wading through the mudflat for 10 minutes.

Young boy, maybe 8-10 years old and dirt poor but speaking better English than any server I've ever met in Saigon. His family hasn't earned any money since COVID-19 started and he was super happy to finally serve a western Sir again.  We had a 5 day streak of terrible service (right after the first lockdown ended and domestic flights where going normally again, you'd think they'd try extra hard during these hard times...) but this boy was fucking PERFECT.

1. Seated us, took my GF's stuff first and stored it carefully under the table next to us, then took my stuff
2. Took our beverage order
3. Served our beverages and brought us the menu, explaining in detail which fish/seafood was available that day
4. Served everything at once
5. Cleared the table once we finished everything and asked if we'd like to have some fruits or smoothie for dessert
6. Brought a perfectly fine tab without the compulsory PQ rip off attempt
7. Safely guided us back to the mainland through the risen tide

I was so amazed that I bought him a bunch of toys and clothes on the local market.

This freaking boy effortlessly provided the best serving experience I ever had in this country including the 5 stars hotels in D1.

Next time I'm down that way will be sure to pay him a visit.

Rarely that our food didn't come on time or were not served together, but it's more than likely because we don't have communication problem with the servers.  I always instruct them to bring out the dishes by the chronological order and never hesitate to remind them if something is missing or slow in arriving.

As far as plate snatching goes, it happened a couple times to all of us.  When I wasn't ready, I simply told them, "I'm not finished yet."

It's a pretty easy saying in Vietnamese:  "Chưa xong!"  That, and a stop hand gesture are all you need.

Ciambella wrote:

Rarely that our food didn't come on time or were not served together, but it's more than likely because we don't have communication problem with the servers.  I always instruct them to bring out the dishes by the chronological order and never hesitate to remind them if something is missing or slow in arriving.

As far as plate snatching goes, it happened a couple times to all of us.  When I wasn't ready, I simply told them, "I'm not finished yet."

It's a pretty easy saying in Vietnamese:  "Chưa xong!"  That, and a stop hand gesture are all you need.

I think the point is that you shouldnt have to tell them how to do it right.

colinoscapee wrote:

Ciambella wrote:

Rarely that our food didn't come on time or were not served together, but it's more than likely because we don't have communication problem with the servers.  I always instruct them to bring out the dishes by the chronological order and never hesitate to remind them if something is missing or slow in arriving.

As far as plate snatching goes, it happened a couple times to all of us.  When I wasn't ready, I simply told them, "I'm not finished yet."

It's a pretty easy saying in Vietnamese:  "Chưa xong!"  That, and a stop hand gesture are all you need.

I think the point is that you shouldnt have to tell them how to do it right.

Should be obvious if you still have chopsticks / cutlery in your hand 😄

Jlgarbutt wrote:

Should be obvious if you still have chopsticks / cutlery in your hand 😄

And speaking of cutlery, who decided that it was a good idea to cut my pork chop with a spoon?  Why are there no knives on the table?

I feel like my whole standing in life drops a couple of pegs when I have a meal in front of me and the tools of the trade are a bent up cheap bent tine fork, a  big ol' spoon and no knife.  I feel like such a heathen.

My wife's daughter just stabs the pork chop with the fork and hoists the whole thing to her mouth.  I'm trying to work on that.  Things are going to change in a year when we move.

colinoscapee wrote:

I think the point is that you shouldnt have to tell them how to do it right.

Well yeah.  There are many woulda coulda shoulda in VN, one of them is customer service.

SteinNebraska wrote:

Jlgarbutt wrote:

Should be obvious if you still have chopsticks / cutlery in your hand 😄

And speaking of cutlery, who decided that it was a good idea to cut my pork chop with a spoon?  Why are there no knives on the table?

I feel like my whole standing in life drops a couple of pegs when I have a meal in front of me and the tools of the trade are a bent up cheap bent tine fork, a  big ol' spoon and no knife.  I feel like such a heathen.

My wife's daughter just stabs the pork chop with the fork and hoists the whole thing to her mouth.  I'm trying to work on that.  Things are going to change in a year when we move.

On the other hand it took me ages to come to terms with my GF spreading butter & marmalade on my toast with a tea spoon. But hey once you try it, it actually works quite well. But cutting meat or what ever with a spoon, yea not easy, the secret is to folk it & then tear a bit off with the spoon or do like your daughter just stab it with the fork & gnaw on it"
By the way Thailand depending where you eat is much the same (no knives) but some places have modified the spoon & one side has a sharp edge

Do the restaurants worry that people will just steal the knives?  I suspect this might be the case.

SteinNebraska wrote:

Do the restaurants worry that people will just steal the knives?  I suspect this might be the case.

More like they may stab each other.

Many locals like knives, they carry them in their bikes and cars.

Even more frustrating than not being given a knife at all for me is being given a blunt knife.

Hey thanks for this piece of metal trash with cutting performance of a toothbrush. It will certainly help me.

Quality cutlery, you know the ones that don't bend at the slightest of being used to eat with would be good.

devbob wrote:

Even more frustrating than not being given a knife at all for me is being given a blunt knife.

Hey thanks for this piece of metal trash with cutting performance of a toothbrush. It will certainly help me.

In China, I got really annoyed they kept serving the desert with my starter and main all at the same time. I got a few odd stares when I asked then to put the ice cream back in the freezer whilst I eat my hot pizza please. Bit of common sense really. It wasn’t an isolated incident either. Can’t say that’s ever happened to me in Vietnam.

phikachu wrote:

In China, I got really annoyed they kept serving the desert with my starter and main all at the same time. I got a few odd stares when I asked then to put the ice cream back in the freezer whilst I eat my hot pizza please. Bit of common sense really. It wasn’t an isolated incident either. Can’t say that’s ever happened to me in Vietnam.

Ahhh maybe thats normal, it helps explain why my local chicken shop that is chinese and korean owned deliver Bingsu before the main course

I love when you are placing an order and a local yells out " em oi" the person drops everything to go and see what they want. Bad service is rampant, but just have to suck it up and move on.

That's pretty much how it goes in most shops also, can be standing talking to the checkout staff (bakeries especially) and a local walks up and places something on the counter to pay in front of you.

Best one... Immigration office ..in processing of handing in application and some local agent with hundreds of forms walks up shoves them in front and bows his he a couple of times as if to say it's ok.. then walks off.

CS here is the one thing I find annoying, the rest I can ignore

I think you're all very fussy, just enjoy the experience. Yes it's different, yes it seems strange, but surely that is the whole point of travelling to a completely different country and culture. It's not wrong, it's just different!
Personally I can't wait to return to the strangeness of it all, as soon as I can get a visa.

Malcolmleitrim wrote:

I think you're all very fussy, just enjoy the experience. Yes it's different, yes it seems strange, but surely that is the whole point of travelling to a completely different country and culture. It's not wrong, it's just different!
Personally I can't wait to return to the strangeness of it all, as soon as I can get a visa.

To be honest, I dont care what you think. If you think shit service every single day of the week is great, then you are welcome to that opinion. For me, its damn frustrating and my VN wife has the same line of thinking.

Malcolmleitrim wrote:

whole point of travelling to a completely different country and culture..

Not exactly a travel forum, right?

I have to agree with Colin. It sucks. It sucks especially when you're asking them nicely to do to it correctly (no matter the language, my GF is VN) and they keep giving you the shit show. Definitely a different culture, but I tell you something: My culture / our culture does this better in every way.  In fact, many cultures do it better and only few do it worse, so it's perfectly acceptable to discuss this major flaw of the country whose guests we are in a somewhat private forum as long as you stay calm and friendly in the real world, even when dealing with the shittiest serving staff.

Malcolmleitrim wrote:

I think you're all very fussy, just enjoy the experience. Yes it's different, yes it seems strange, but surely that is the whole point of travelling to a completely different country and culture. It's not wrong, it's just different!
Personally I can't wait to return to the strangeness of it all, as soon as I can get a visa.

You dont even live here & as far as I can make out never have on a permanent basis. Come over for a holiday once or twice a year & its all just a big adventure. When people who have actually lived here for some years make these comments then they might just might have a valid point on this subject!

Goodness me, such reactions! It's their country, it's their culture, why on earth should they do it your way?
I would happily live there, but sadly they won't let me, I just have to accept their system and spend as much time as I can absorbing a different way of doing things.

Views from those who have spent short spurts here are irrelevant.

"Its their culture, their country", dont hear the muslims in the UK spruiking that.

colinoscapee wrote:

Views from those who have spent short spurts here are irrelevant.

"Its their culture, their country", dont hear the muslims in the UK spruiking that.

Well, perhaps that's part of the problem there, I think people should try to fit in with the prevailing culture. Having grown up in Northern Ireland I have seen what happens when everyone thinks they are right and there is no tolerance of another's point of view.
I spent six months in Vietnam last winter and I wouldn't call that a short spurt.

Malcolmleitrim wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

Views from those who have spent short spurts here are irrelevant.

"Its their culture, their country", dont hear the muslims in the UK spruiking that.

Well, perhaps that's part of the problem there, I think people should try to fit in with the prevailing culture. Having grown up in Northern Ireland I have seen what happens when everyone thinks they are right and there is no tolerance of another's point of view.
I spent six months in Vietnam last winter and I wouldn't call that a short spurt.

6 months, I would call it short. Anyway, you spent time here as a tourist, not residing here permantly.

Come spend a few years living amongst the locals, not in a hotel where you are not exposed to daily life.

I don't want to pile on Malcom but I agree, time here changes everything.  I did great for the first year here, getting to go home to civilization for two weeks every two months.  Got my fix of "normal" and came back to "quaint" with a fresh perspective.  Now being locked in since December and no real hope of going home until we move back to US next June and I'm not dealing with it especially well.  The "quaint" just "aint" anymore.

Now, in a different breath, my wife says the same.  "Darling, it's Vietnam.  You must accept.  When I go to US will not like some things but I must accept."

While she is technically correct, it's a lot easier for her to accept a first world country and everything that goes with it as opposed to me, being used to a fairly normal existence my whole life, accepting a third world country and everything that goes with it.  This is mainly because most of the things that I don't accept just don't make any logical sense other than "we have always done it that way".  But at the end of the day it is Their House, Their Rules.

Not to mention I can't even stand out front and yell at the kids to stay off my lawn!  Because, we don't have one.  The houses in my neighborhood sell for 18-22 billion and there isn't a scrap of grass anywhere.  I do have a palm tree in front of my house in my "yard".  I'm not sure it is a full meter of dirt.

One more rant - a third world country that costs 4-5 times as much to buy a house as it does where I came from with crap infrastructure to support it.

SteinNebraska wrote:

Now, in a different breath, my wife says the same.  "Darling, it's Vietnam.  You must accept.  When I go to US will not like some things but I must accept."

While she is technically correct, it's a lot easier for her to accept a first world country and everything that goes with it as opposed to me, being used to a fairly normal existence my whole life, accepting a third world country and everything that goes with it.  This is mainly because most of the things that I don't accept just don't make any logical sense other than "we have always done it that way".  But at the end of the day it is Their House, Their Rules.

Not to mention I can't even stand out front and yell at the kids to stay off my lawn!  Because, we don't have one.  The houses in my neighborhood sell for 18-22 billion and there isn't a scrap of grass anywhere.  I do have a palm tree in front of my house in my "yard".  I'm not sure it is a full meter of dirt.

One more rant - a third world country that costs 4-5 times as much to buy a house as it does where I came from with crap infrastructure to support it.

I agree with your wife, I'm sure if I could bring my Vietnamese girlfriend to Ireland there would be many things she would find difficult to accept.
I just can't understand why people move half way round the world to a totally different culture and then expect things to function the same way as they do at home. Surely this attitude will lead to disappointment?
It's very difficult to make rational comparisons between countries, for example, I don't know if you were being serious, but it would be completely unacceptable to shout at other people's children in Ireland. Also, houses in America are very cheap to buy compared, for example, to Ireland. I really believe we have to accept other people's way of life if we are going to live amongst them.
Much has been made of the fact that I don't actually live in Vietnam, fair enough, but if I lived there I would accept life as it is or leave. It's very difficult to think of somewhere perfect to live, most emigrants eventually move back home, wherever that may be.

SteinNebraska wrote:

I don't want to pile on Malcom but I agree, time here changes everything.  I did great for the first year here, getting to go home to civilization for two weeks every two months.  Got my fix of "normal" and came back to "quaint" with a fresh perspective.  Now being locked in since December and no real hope of going home until we move back to US next June and I'm not dealing with it especially well.  The "quaint" just "aint" anymore.

I see your use of the words "normal" and "quaint" as the problem. Your "quaint" is "normal" to the Vietnamese!
Although I was only in Vietnam for six months, I spent most of the time living with one family and I'm sure I must have done and said things that they found strange. Their good manners and generosity of spirit allowed me to feel comfortable at all times.