GIRLFRIEND / FIANCE/ WIFE (??) FROM COLOMBIA

Why put up with the bad habits in the first place, they are not going to change. Just drama and bad investments.

Many stories Loaferln , but most guys keep making the same mistakes , me too in earlier days , But in the end i found the right formula and its certainly working for me . But not with a Colombian. I had a relative back in the 1980s that teamed up with a bird from Rio , well what a disaster it was, it was ok for 6 months until it smelt money and worked out that it could scam the hubby in all situations. After 9 months with her he was almost destitute through keeping her sponging family . She herself was not to bad but she wanted her family to live like the Rockefeller's, and at his expense. The first mistake he made was bringing her to a western country - that takes about 4 days for her to want to live as the Rich, they get polluted at once by excess. Second mistake he made was to marry her, that's just a key for her to approach him and take over his bank book! ( which she did with great success ) loyalty))))) she was only loyal to her purse and how much she could shove into the bastard , and she was not real fussed where the dollars came from. Seven months into the marriage he caught her screwing the neighbor next door and he was 82 but for $20 earnt with the ****, she did not care, $20 to her was $20 , it didn't matter how it was earnt,

Again you cant judge a population by the actions of 1 bad one , the thing is that over the years, there has been more than a few reports where i am, of the South America type women, on the scam for money.

I'm not sure if the Colombians are cast from the same mold as the Rio tarts or not , but i tell you this , the small Colombian population where i am in Australia, are given a very wide birth. Nobody really wants to take a chance on them. Maybe its the fear of the unknown about them ? i just don't know. The few i have encountered here, appear to all have the same resume, you know ( me want marry & me want man to care for my family ) Of course they don't mention love , oh god, its all about how well off you are ,of course here, those requests to men go over like a lead balloon.

I think the birds from a lot of countries in Europe are a far better deal, like where mine comes from , not to hungry for dollars, and most are happy to go to work and pay there share in life! They are really good sorts too, and they stay that way . With the Euro ones, you don't have a bird in the house that's got an *** like a buffalo, she is not Miss Botox, and not covered in tattoos. The euro ones are even educated - that's a plus lol !!!

If you havent been in a relation with your high school or college sweatheart for the last 20 to 59 years, its very unlikely you will everfind your " soul mate" to be with you until" death do you part" anywhere, less likely in a foriegn country.

Just enjoy what you have at the moment and dont think too far in the future.If it gets to one sided and stressful, just end it. The stress will kill you in the end anyway.

Not so bad being alone, independent, being able to do what you want, spend your mooney on what you want.

Why do I get involved in these stupid threads?..LOL

@CoolTexan Lool thats crazy...i am not sure if that investment is worth it.

@JohnyLondon I may just be a terrible person, but I flirted with a Paisa smoking-hottie online. The moment she mentioned a sister, I asked to have her join in, flirting ended up three-way, after which they got more selective about introducing me around, heh, though I'd tease, asking if mama, or even brother hot, too, etc.

I'd been generous throughout with 'em, included gifting for family (close, on my terms) just assumed by my having manners, income difference up here/down there, but then it'd been a three-month stay, not wifey search.

Next time? Who knows...

3 years with a women from Barranquilla and Bogota.  First year great, abuse at year two, played in year 3.  Had to walk away.

I was wondering if these women could be sued if they had a house that the victim knew about?

Could the colombian women be charged with fraud or theft if you had some documents, such as money transfers, or statements from relatives?  Could she be arrested?

Really after 5 years of world travel and spending time in almost every Colombian city.  I would have to sadly say that Colombians are some of thr best people but also some of the most horrible people in the world with very little morals for forgieners and even thier own people.

¨First year great, abuse at year two...¨

----

Though the silent treatment can legitimately be

construed as domestic abuse -- it is not punishable

under the law.  So no case based on what was

said in this post is actionable.  If the abuse

involved physical violence (not stated), that could

be a different matter, if provable (photos or videos).

cccmedia

¨Could the Colombian women be charged with fraud

or theft if you had some documents such as

money transfers or statements from relatives?¨

---

If money or gifts were freely given, it is a stretch

to think a money transfer would prove fraud or theft.

As for statements from relatives, a foreigner might need

to demonstrate overwhelmingly compelling evidence

of a major pattern of abuse victimizing multiple persons

for many millions of pesos -- just to get a case heard

in the Spanish-language court .. or to get an attorney

to take up the case.

cccmedia

Take your own advise/observation... Just walk away and keep the lessons learned in mind for the future.

lpd

@rockstarmedi if you enable them, they will abuse you. It takes 2 to tango

You were "dando papaya".

Surely you knew something was not right?

Relationships are complicated and not always happy. Best not to have your heart on your sleave

Anyway, if she took less than 5% of your net worth plus income generated during the period you were with her, nothing to worry about.

Karma always atches up with people

@JohnyLondon

ive been on line dateing a young girl in Pereira she works as an online model i thought we were truly in love with each but after reading in this forum i have my doubts . let it de know that between her work and my generosity i'm our about 8 k. i've been told i should've run long ago but she really has hold of my heart.

i should mention i met her online a year after my wife passed. i am 66 she is 26.

am i the fool you think i must be?

@SAVELLSTEVE373 i have been online dating a young colombian lady for 13 months. she is an online model , this is where we met. we claim true love for each other but are chats are usually the love you so much type of no content communication .my friends tell me i should of let her go a long time ago. they know i've given her money but not how much,between her and her employer $8k split about 55/50 iam two years widowed . after reading in this forum i get help to feel duped. any advice will be welcome .

Gone are the good old days of 25 years ago when Colombia was still considered too dangerous to travel to by most.

The vast number of gringos down here were type A personalities

But there were still a few Betas that would constantly complain about gringos dating and taking advantage of the young Colombian women they were dating.

I used to tell people **** the FARC ...its the gringos you have to worry about down here. But..my how times have changed...and now victimhood reigns.

Dear Randall,

Condolences on your loss.

As a recent widower, you may be vulnerable as a

likely target for online scammers.

Paying $8,000 US to a woman overseas whom

you have never met, especially as she is

a reputed ¨model,¨ does not appear to be

rational behavior. The apparent fact that she

is splitting your payments with a third-party

entity shows that the incentive is primarily

financial (read: scam).

Do more research about how OnlyFans

and other websites sell screen-time with

beautiful ¨models¨ to separate

thirsty beta males from their savings.

Also research... oneitis .. at men's

red pill channels such as

Entrepreneurs in Cars, on YouTube.

Get emotional support beyond what is

possible through Internet posting.

And stop sending money. No excuses --

you've been warned.

cccmedia

@randallmarko I am so sorry for your loss. You got taken, hardcore. Consider it Tuition Fee for a Lesson Learned.

There are good women in Colombia for sure.  Take your time and get to know them.  Be quick to be polite and slow to be "financial provider".  Obviously, we want to take care of our woman, but a good woman does not need your money to be happy.  If they NEED your wallet more than your affection, then you should consider a better alternative for you.  I know lots of women who were friends of my late wife, that would make a man very good companion and wife.  Good women, regardless if Colombian or other, do not cling to your wallet but rather cling to your arm.  I find the online dating stories sad for the most part.  The best way to meet good Colombian women is to go there and mingle.  Or find friend of friend who already knows the friends of their wife or girlfriend.  Referrals are best. 

@randallmarko Hi Bro ,

First of all . Online dating is not dating worse when its in Non develloped countries. There's an Army of scammers (yes even organized crimes have girls , i have been victim myself luckily lost less than 1000$) and dishonest people waiting for you online.

Secondly online model is not a job. Accountant , Nurse for example are .

Online model the probability is high that she is an onlyfan model or selling sexual virtual services. So anything from virtual porn star to actual prostituation.

Finally the age gap, there's no country on earth where a young women date a 40 years older male. When there's a lot young, fresh strong men less than 40 years old.  Let alone an online model (99% not educate and from ghettos)

This is probably (90%) not gonna end well for you. 

@randallmarko lets just say, the content of this post makes it very difficult to believe the sincerity of the poster...

I refrain from using the "T" word..

@cccmedia hey CC..my friend told me about that entreprenuers in cars site

I am not a car nut, and he is asexual (not intersted in women) but he says the guy gives good "relationship" advice

@ChineduOpara If this is true...$8000-if the story is true he got off cheap.

At least he didnt want to take here and her illigitimate kids back to the US

The real lesson is actually coming to Colombia and interacting with the women..95% of guys have enough sense not to send money to someone they dont know.

@JohnyLondon Agreed...but some guys need to learn the hard way

@SAVELLSTEVE373

really wise words.

I can confirm: Latin men speak of their women: "dirty whore", "treacherous bitch" - stay away - they are whores of the highest order - working like demons: in herds

Mamita, sisters, grandmothers, aunts.   

I do not believe in good intentions - by the way, for Valentine's Day, I will add to my post names, surnames, and place and bario. It will be very funny - my post topic is already more than a year old.

    @SAVELLSTEVE373really wise words.I can confirm: Latin men speak of their women: "dirty whore", "treacherous bitch" - stay away - they are whores of the highest order - working like demons: in herds Mamita, sisters, grandmothers, aunts.   I do not believe in good intentions - by the way, for Valentine's Day, I will add to my post names, surnames, and place and bario. It will be very funny - my post topic is already more than a year old. -@JohnyLondon

My understanding so far in Barranquilla, Colombia is this: The scarcest and most valuable resource in this country is not gold, emeralds, nor oil.

It's INTERPERSONAL HONESTY.

Fact: It's an LDFG culture (Liars, Deceivers, Flakes, and Ghosts).

Thing is, when you talk to locals (and even some expats) and describe all your experiences with unreliability, unprofessionalism, short-sightedness, lack of customer service, needless deception, professional begging, deceptive gold-digging, etc. they will swear up and down that this isn't the case, that Costeños are good decent folks with just a few "bad eggs" concentrated in the bad parts of town and - of course - in dating/matchmaking apps. They'll swear that Colombians are some of the most honest people around 😆

Then, in the very next breath, they lie to you about something or the other. Or, the very next non-transaction interaction with another random local is filled with their dishonesty, etc. 🤦🏿‍♂️

By the way, when you point it out to them, their first instinct is to deny it and gaslight you. But in rare cases when they agree on what just happened, they seem to LEGITIMATELY be super-surprised that it's a problem!

After living here for 15 months, I have stopped seeing their LDFG-ness as necessarily "bad". I have come to understand that THIS is just a deeply-embedded part of their culture. Just as deeply-embedded as their shallow greetings, bland monotonous local cuisine... or like Japanese bowing, Chinese cities' lack of personal space, Londoners loving their tea, Italians and talking with their hands, rural Nigerians and their unannounced neighbor visits, or Russians' affinity for vodka.

Colombia is full of LDFG people (especially the women - the more conventionally attractive they are, the more LDFG they are). It's "Just The Way It Is", not good, but not necessarily "bad" either (from THEIR perspective, I mean). It's as natural to them as breathing Oxygen. So it makes sense that they don't see things the same way that us North Americans and Europeans do.

Therefore, any and all tourists and expats should be aware of this "shocking" aspect of the culture, take proper precautions, plan appropriately, and just "go with the flow".

Cultures cannot change overnight... It is what it is.

Latin men speak of their women: "dirty whore", "treacherous bitch" - stay away - they are whores of the highest order - working like demons: in herds... 

Valentine's Day, I will add to my post names, surnames, and place and bario.
   
                                                                                -@JohnyLondon

.

.

.

Oh, no, you won't, Johny.  And if this is your idea of a joke,

find a different topic to joke about.

The moderators at the Home Office will remove any

names and locations of allegedly wayward women

that you post.  Libelous posting is not what this site is about.

cccmedia, Expat.com designated Colombia Expert

After 34 years visiting Colombia and now 10 years in Medellin and traveling everywhere almost non-stop in the whole of Colombia, have had dates/relationships/gf in about every region/department (eg Rolos, Paisas, Costenas, Calienas, Chocoas, hehehe, etc.) that have lasted from a few weeks to 5 years (my Paisa gf/exwife) I have come to this conclusion which I now live by:

Never take any Colombian serious, never. After decades of experience/insults/disappointments/hurts I now can understand that this IS their culture and DNA, it will never change.

They (the individual, family, friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, classmates/work mates, etc.) cherish, promote and very proud of the behavior "avisapado" (being clever and cunning/deceptive).

If I could sum it up in a single sentence it would look like this - The level of insincerity with the women is off the charts. I simply don't have the patience to deal with the almost complete level of insincerity any more.

They are pretty in fact beautiful to look at, but because of the culture little beauty inside (of course a generalization). They are fun though, hehehe..oh boy god only knows I am not a prude.

Since my last long (5 yrs) term Paisa gf ended 7 years ago I am now a confirmed bachelor and unless I come across a unicorn situation I remain single.............I love the saying by Tom Hardy, it goes like this:

“Being alone for a While IS dangerous. lt's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people anymore”. (Tom Hardy)

Oh and BTW , like other members/posters on these boards I have much to offer in terms of being in a relationship, and me meeting new attractive/available women each and every day is ONLY limited by if I want to put myself out there, I can and have come home after a day being out and about with 4 or 5 new names and whatsapp numbers...........tempting yes to follow up by now seldom do.

...............here I am a 2 meter tall, long blond haired/green eyed Californian surfer guy who has decided to remain single, by choice because I now have lost faith that any Colombian women is sincere, so my life is full with travel, hobbies, exercise, being with a handful of close Colombian male friends.

In my apartment where I have purchased/lived for 7 years in Medellin, I have my great neighbors/all friends for 7 years, usually the parents/wifes/grandmothers tell me for the life of them they can't understand why I am single...........

I tell my best Colombian male friend here in Medellin (34 yo M, born and raised in Manrique, single) that to be a 2 M tall, white, blond haired/green eyed gringo in Medellin is a curse....he can't "get it" as he see's the constant attention that I get from women when we are out and about, almost nonstop/constantly...........added to this I need to deal with the envy stares by the average/typical Colombian man, I see it constantly.

Again, being a 2 M tall, white, blond haired/green eyed gringo in Medellin IS A CURSE! And I have to live this day in and day out.

If anyone cares to truly read/understand this post, fine, if not just pass me on by, does not matter.

Godspeed to all!

PS - And I love my life here, I love my Paisa friends, I could have chosen to live anywhere in the world but I choose Medellin.

@South American Voyager

Thanks for posting this insightful and reality-based comment. I hope that I can reach out to you in the future for a little collaboration for my Colombia Travel Journal!

I do wanna ask something. You said you have "...a handful of close Colombian male friends."

In my experience, genuine friendships between locals and expats doesn't exist. Eventually they WILL ask for loans, or even steal from you. Just like how a Colombian male "friend" played me for almost 2 years, convinced me the whole time that he was NOT like all the other locals, that he was honorable.

He eventually convinced me to give him a 350,000COP loan... and then he promptly disappeared.

Do you really feel that those Colombian dudes are legit? That they're NOT, in fact, playing the Long Game with you?

I live in Manizales.  Its a different scene. Allthough lieing and flakiness is still common, people are a lot more honest open and kind than.in other parts of Colombia.

I have a.few close Colombian friends I.trust, who are not out to screw me.

I am into travel ( a lot)and outdoor sports ( climbing, hiking, running), and gym  etc ..

So you end up associating with different people.

I have been with a Venezuelan woman for 4 years, and so have not been out trolling for women. Yes it.is challenging because of the age and economic and cultural difference and she is materialistic like all Latinas and  a neat freak and I am a bit of a slob.

But if I was single  I would concentrate on my hobbies, Sports and pursuits like South American Traveller  allthough unfortunately.  I dont have the " curse" of being a " chick magnet" like him..ja ja

@labt You are right. On the other hand, we need to pay attention to the red flags which have been there since the beginning. Only we are blind to them.

In terms of international relations: one must be careful, that's all. There is as much good as bad in the US or in Colombia.  I do not write fairy tales, but what I have experienced. And I am sorry for your story.

Now it will be only better

@ChineduOpara

superb essencial , enciclopedic view !

I agree with every single word

@decadude you sound like o foolish and desperate individual

The Expat.com Home Office has been correcting some

technical problems this week, so I am posting this on

the Colombia forum, being unable to reach the

moderators via the usual methods.

  ---

Implicating one of our members as foolish and desperate

is not in keeping with the terms and conditions of our

site.  See if you can express your opinion without

denigrating another member. 

cccmedia, designated Expert for the Colombia forum

I have no.idea who he is tallking about....maybe some guy who.posted 5 years ago?LOL

No, it was post 112 on this thread, from February 14, 2024.

cccmedia

For all the fellows here I will tell you my thoughts on this. I have been to Colombia 3 times in 2 years. I didn't go there looking for a woman. I went to see the country. The second trip I took was to Medellin. I have had many women ask fo dates or to have dinner and I didn't do it because it's plan as day to see what they want. Most men go to Colombia thinking with the wrong head. Beauty is skin deep my friends. Ugly is to the bone.

To continue, I had been in town for 2 weeks and walked all over the place and enjoying the food and atmosphere. I was close to where I was staying when I met a lovely lady. She was "working" not walking the streets. We chatted over many days about everything. No romance no asking for a date none of that. After 2 weeks I finally ask her if she would like to have dinner. To my surprise she said she was busy with work and family and would have to set a day for us to have dinner. She is a single mother at 31. Has her own place works 2 jobs and has ambitions in life and it's not someone else's money. We talked and went out for a month and she never ask me for a penny. I did pay for the dinners we had as all gentleman should. My time in Medellin was at an end and I was going back to the USA. Before I left she ask if we could still talk and I agreed. As 3 mouths went by we sent pictures of family and would talk on WhatsApp every day. I made plans to go back to Colombia and told her this. To my surprise she met me at the airport and was very happy to see me. She helped me find a safe a clean place to stay. She showed me places that I didn't know about. We went out when she wasn't working. To be very clear nothing happen between us at all it was as a friend that we started our relationship. She let me meet her family and daughter weeks after I had been there. They were very nice people, all of them. To make this shorter, after 10 months of getting to know this beautiful woman we finally took the next step and made things serious. And to make another point, up until this time she never ask me for anything. She is very independent something I respect very highly. We will be getting married June of 2024, I could have never met a better woman. She amazes me in every way.

What I am trying to say here is don't be in a hurry to find a partner in life. Be a gentleman and have patience and don't think with the wrong head, it will only make you look like a fool and an easy target. You want a real down to earth woman, find one that works and has her life in order and she will help you get your life in order as well. Never judge all women by one. It takes all kinds to make the world turn. I am 55 years old and have learned a lot in my life about women. This woman I have met is amazing in every way.

I do wish you all luck in your search for happiness. Take your time and see the world and one day you will find this diamond you have been searching for.

"A fool and his money are soon parted..." be it in Colombia, USA, Europe, Africa or wherever.

elp

@Rick Stafford You story is beautiful, but please keep things in perspective: women like that are literally 1 in a million in Colombia (more likely 1 in several million). The vast, vast, VAST majority of Colombian women are NOT like this. So you got extremely LUCKY, and we are happy for you... however the exception is not the rule.

@ChineduOpara I met my wife of over twenty years in Aruba. An educated guess would be that she was a hooker and gold digger. Best that that ever happened to me in my life. So that brings us up to two in a million.

elp