Has anyone felt like they are being "Used"

@whackerdog123 I totally agree with you.  The natural beauty of this country is phenomenal.  People are extremely polite, non-aggressive, and friendly.  Yes, Filipina are stunningly beautiful. Cheers,

@Moon Dog I enjoy reading your life story in how it plays out in Philippines.

@Ivan Cristante

"are you aware that it is not uncommon in the Philippines to be slowly poisoned to death with the cooking?"  -- an interesting statement/question.  I don't know this; however, I do know the eating styles here likely poison people over time -- cups of noodles, 25g sugar per drink, 2 plates of white rice, 2-3 servings at parties; sisigs, lechons; no vegetables, cheap whiskey. 

If you are in Baguio, let's meet for coffee or pint.

Paul

@Ivan Cristante

A devastating, sobering yet accurate critique of the pitfalls of having a relationship with a Filipina. Thank you for posting.

It is better to 'not fall in love ' and just enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts but without any major capital investment or you stand to lose your proverbial shirt. 50% of marriages end up in divorce in the western world. There is a much higher % chance of a Filipina relationship failing for cultural reasons. Moreover, and this might necessitate some navel gazing, but the average foreign guy is probably not such good marriage material anyway. My guess is that 95% of foreigners in the Philippines are either divorced or as we Brits say 'anoraks' (I think our American friends use the term 'Nerd' ) and find it difficult to relate to the opposite sex.

There will no doubt be howls of subsequent posts stating how their relationship has endured for a long period of time (congratulations!) and accuse me of being a cynic. Guilty as charged but I remain solvent.

Oh and you are sooo right about bringing a Filipina back to your home country. Its akin to taking a wild animal out of the rain forest and making it adjust to an alien habitat. Very few do and many (as witnessed by several failed Filipna relationships in my home city of Bath) will go tits up.

This thread is interesting. . . . It seems some posters who are looking for a Filipina as if they are buying a used car.

No commitment and when bored and the fun ends with her, then let her be a repo'd. Then you go back to the used car mart (FilipinoCupid).

The unlucky Filipina ends up with a lemon, as-is with no guarantee with you.

@Enzyte Bob  agree... Many window shopping tire kickers playing games. 

You're probably right Bob but many are serious both Filipinos and the foreigner,,,, not all though.

As for being used? On reflection the same could be said for my Australian wife of 22 years. Sure she worked and contributed for 4 years until we had children and after that? Nada. 17 years I was the bread winner and she stayed home and spent, sure she was with the kids and house all the time in the younger years but I asked her when they were in high school if she had thought about getting a job, she looked at me perplexed, then aghast and then the marriage and family disintegrated, 18 months later divorced and a million bucks out of pocket.

Wiser and more cautious after that. Happens no matter country.

Cheers, Steve.

@Enzyte Bob agree... Many window shopping tire kickers playing games.
-@Wellsfry

Both sides.

Cheers, Steve.

Also my comparison of Expats and their used cars (Filipin's). Their partners are like a leased car after several years, if that, they turn them in. It would be smarter to call Avis and rent a car on the one week special. (That's what Angeles City is for.)

Not long ago on a thread about a fellow having a dozen or so girl friends and she having about the same number of boy friends (thread was removed) it seemed they both had about 30 used cars (partners).

I know I wouldn't have driven 25 miles to check out a used car, but he would have traveled thousands of miles to kick the tires and take a spin around the block.

Also my comparison of Expats and their used cars (Filipin's). Their partners are like a leased car after several years, if that, they turn them in. It would be smarter to call Avis and rent a car on the one week special. (That's what Angeles City is for.)
Not long ago on a thread about a fellow having a dozen or so girl friends and she having about the same number of boy friends (thread was removed) it seemed they both had about 30 used cars (partners).

I know I wouldn't have driven 25 miles to check out a used car, but he would have traveled thousands of miles to kick the tires and take a spin around the block.
-@Enzyte Bob

If the used cars last as long as some of the relationships, your car may not have made 25 miles without breaking down and needing a tow.

My wife will tell you straight up that she was not in love with me when we were married and I will tell you straight up that I wasn't in love with her. She had turned down several potential suitors and I had narrowed a group of 400+ applicants down to 2 Chinese, 1 Thai and 1 Filipina, and the Filipina won as you can see.

My wife was looking for a way out of her poverty and I was looking for an honest mate with appealing features. We met on the online dating site Cherry Blossoms. She was a bit younger (29 years) than what I had in mind but it has worked very well for over 16 years.

My wife had all but given up on finding a decent American man when her sister said "click on that man". I was holding a beer in my profile photo which was almost a deal breaker ("maybe he's a drunkard man?") for the extremely conservative little Visayan but she clicked and 3 weeks later I was on a flight to the Philippines and we were engaged. I returned a year later, sat with her for her visa interview and brought her home with me.

In my first marriage I learned a hard lesson, love is not a good reason to marry someone.

@Moon Dog

your post was amusing to read, thank you!

3 weeks later and you were engaged.... that takes balls.

But glad to know it evidently worked out for you. good for you.

my ex and i had known eachother since childhood. she was the cousin of one of my best friends.  he reintroduced us to one another when she and her mother came to visit her relatives in Toronto for a couple weeks in October of 2011. Since i was a consultant, i had quite an amount of flexible time on my hands and as she didnt want to be stuck with her mom and her relatives every day during their visit, i offered to take on the responsibility of taking her out and keeping her entertained. little did i know that we spent nearly every day together during that 3 week vacation in Toronto. Before we knew it, we were unofficially together before she boarded her flight to return to Manila.

we dated LDR for just under 2 years before it ever crossed my mind that maybe I needed to step-up and propose...

After 6 years, 3 of which were really great, I am sad to say it didn't work out. But she was and remains one of the greatest woman I have ever met. It has proven to be nearly impossible to meet a new woman of her caliber here in the Philippines who is single and is of an appropriate age difference that your family won't roll their eyes at.   my loss.

(1) Many of these May/December romances are a result of male menopause.

(2) Infatuation is mistaken for Love.

(3) Expats wants something and the Filipinas wants something else.

(5) And it's not the same something.

(6) These Expats are really Ezpats for Filipinas.

(6) There is no fool like an old fool when searching for a mate online.

(7) Old fools using shopping lists to find a Filipina mate can be a road to failure.

(8) Resumes' are for employers, not for mates, so maybe Expats are really hiring a mate.

(9) Leading to the failure of the heart, money, happiness or dreams.

(10) Most of these Expat fantasies of an online Filipina mate can never be fulfilled.

@Enzyte Bob, so it is best to remain a hermit?

Meeting someone requires proximity, being near each other.  I met my wife when I started a conversation at a cafe in Baguio in late 2019.  She ignored my texts for about two months, then COVID shut everything down.  We re-started around April of 2020, everything is connected since.  Not all Filipinas 'want something'.  I met a gynecologist in Makati.  She resents the American colonialism and will tell you she will never travel to US.  There was no attraction between us.  In the end, everyone wants some intimate connection, certainly for me.  Of course, money for better things is not a bad thing either. 

We've found true happiness, and our lifetime partner. Others can also.

It just involves a genuine and kind heart and a normally intelligent mind.

Decide you want a lifetime friend whom you will keep and love. Then plan.

Whom do you want? For mine, 20 years ago I planned on finding a provincial,

professional, healthy, kindhearted and pretty mid-aged gal with a good family.

So, I spent years searching Filipina Cupid for provincial teachers or nurses, with

good minds, a naturally sunny well-adjusted disposition and reasonable English.

In other words pretty much a normal healthy and future-Australian-type woman.

There's certainly such gals on Filipina Cupid. But, can be shy/wary taking finding.

But, stick to one favourite province and find two or three, and then go visit them.

Remember faint hearts never won a fair lady. And, in our case, we found heaven.

A few things to bear in mind. First, reputedly your French have a saying, an ideal

marriage is one wherein the mademoiselle is one half the man's age, plus seven.

Actually, wifey is a little old for me according to this saying, but nil complaints

Second, families matter. Provincial families tend to be honest, really fine people.

In our case my wife has seven brothers and sisters. They're all excellent folk and

university graduates. And now mostly teachers. It's a great family to belong with.

Third having found your dream gal treat her right. Love her beyond heaven itself!

@Enzyte Bob, so it is best to remain a hermit?
Meeting someone requires proximity, being near each other. I met my wife when I started a conversation at a cafe in Baguio in late 2019. She ignored my texts for about two months, then COVID shut everything down. We re-started around April of 2020, everything is connected since. Not all Filipinas 'want something'. I met a gynecologist in Makati. She resents the American colonialism and will tell you she will never travel to US. There was no attraction between us. In the end, everyone wants some intimate connection, certainly for me. Of course, money for better things is not a bad thing either.
-@duonguhm

The way you connected is a good example being built on a solid foundation for a successful life together. Both of you brought something to the table without the need of the other.

Even though she feels she will never travel to the US, I felt the same way that I would never move to the Philippines. I had met my Filipina wife in Las Vegas where we both lived. A relationship developed and we were married in 2007 and I repeatedly said I would never move to the Philippines. I was thinking what a wonderful life we were living, I loved Las Vegas and was happy.

So if you and your partner are happy in the Philippines, maybe a vacation in the states would get her to forget about that colonialism as it ended 76 years ago, even before she was born. Many Filipino adults in 1946 revered General Macarthur, but any still living would be close to 100 years old.

My wife wanted to return to the Philippines. Many of her Filipina friends worked and saved and when they retired took their SS, 401K's, retire benefits and proceeds from the sale of their homes and returned to the Philippines. The houses they bought for $100K were sold for $300 to $400K.

Now we did not have those assets and I was beyond retirement age, but I was still working because I loved my job and she was reaching retirement age. I wanted her to be happy so I agreed to move to the Philippines. We had a home in the Philippines clear and free, but added a third floor for us before moving. She had three adult educated children living in the house, I was thinking it would be great to have them with us as we were getting old and it made sense. The oldest was a nurse and was employed by St. Lukes (associated with the Mayo Clinic in the US). He was recruited for big bucks and took a job in London. Now four years later and advancing in his career he has received several offers from hospitals in the US.

Now to address your question to remain a hermit. I was single and not a hermit before meeting my wife. I was not looking for a wife, After my divorce from my first wife I was single for 25 years and enjoyed being single and moved to Las Vegas from Pittsburgh PA. Before getting married in 2007 I explained to my wife to be that I was happy with my single life and I wanted the rest of my life to be happy also.

@kristopherryanwatson Actually I visited her after 3 weeks but we were engaged after 4 weeks which was a week into my visit. How long does it take to get to know someone? I can tell if person is an a-hole in just a few minutes or less.

She had an old desktop computer and kept in on. I could see her day to day activities anytime I logged on, even watch her sleeping because she slept with the light on (I had to break her of that when she came to live with me). She helped her dad dry the fish, cleaned her room daily and sang karaoke in the evenings with the family.

When she had her visa and it was time to leave for the airport she packed everything she owned in small suitcase and said a tearful goodbye to her family and friends. She left the only home and lifestyle she knew with a man she really didn't know that well. She put a lot of trust in me and I never let her down.

Sorry to hear about the problems you experienced, she sounds like a wonderful person.

Moon Dog said. . . . Actually I visited her after 3 weeks but we were engaged after 4 weeks which was a week into my visit. How long does it take to get to know someone? I can tell if person is an a-hole in just a few minutes or less.

She had an old desktop computer and kept in on. I could see her day to day activities anytime I logged on, even watch her sleeping

**************************************************************

Sounds like a new reality show to replace the former "90 day fiance". How long does it take to get to know one?

Really?

Why would somebody monitor another persons activities even while sleeping?

I guess I'm that a-hole just by asking these questions.

Moon Dog said. . . . Actually I visited her after 3 weeks but we were engaged after 4 weeks which was a week into my visit. How long does it take to get to know someone? I can tell if person is an a-hole in just a few minutes or less.

She had an old desktop computer and kept in on. I could see her day to day activities anytime I logged on, even watch her sleeping
**************************************************************

Sounds like a new reality show to replace the former "90 day fiance". How long does it take to get to know one?

Really?

Why would somebody monitor another persons activities even while sleeping?
I guess I'm that a-hole just by asking these questions.
-@Enzyte Bobmy

You've never watched your lady sleeping? I do it to this day, but now she is much closer. Must be my romantic nature.

My work at the time landed me in many different time zones and she always wanted to chat at every opportunity so I would log on as soon as I was checked in the hotel, but sometimes she was asleep. I believe we used skype in those days. I especially liked watching her in the daytime doing her chores. She would wax the cement floor in her tiny bedroom (the only bedroom in the house) and polish it using half a coconut shell. Even flipping up her bed and waxing under it.

I'm sure you've heard the song "I Want a Girl, Just Like the Girl. That Married Dear Old Dad", well, I found her. My mom would wash clothes by hand, the toilet was outside and the only water in the house was at the kitchen sink faucet that was gravity fed from a spring on the side of the mountain. This was in West (by God) Virginia. The situation I saw in the Philippines at that time was very similar.

I belonged to a Yahoo Fil-Am forum, I believe it was called Mag-Anak. When the proper time length of engagement was discussed it was usually agreed that 18 to 24 months was the minimum duration. Fine, if that is what you belief go for it, I won't comment. But the clock is ticking and I'm not counting on an afterlife. If I made a mistake I'm the one to blame and I'm the one to pay for it. But what if you invest a couple years in the engagement and it doesn't work out?

It was, and is, obvious that we were in a "May-December" relationship as you labeled it. My wife has always been proud of me and always takes my arm to show it when we are out. We have had some very good years and there are more to come. I'm likely to go first and when the time comes she will be holding my hand just like my mom did when dad passed. She will have financial security and respect from the community for the remainder of her life.

you are a romantic @Moon Dog. 

Moon Dog - 400 applicants seems quite a lot, what I would like to know is how did you whittle them down to your good lady, what criteria did you use. If we use Bob's comparison about kicking tyres, sounds like you owned the dealership at one time. How many of these women actually got through to the interview stage and did you meet more than one of them before deciding on your lady.

If foreigners line 3 or 4 women up and go meet them individually, I wonder how it works, how they allocate time to each one. Just imagine if the ladies over there did the same thing and had 3 or 4 foreigners flying in at the same time, arranging to meet and spend time with all of them. How would us guys feel. I am not saying you did this but I am sure there are people on this site who have.

Another thing that I wonder about is - is it better to look for a hard working lady with a good, respectable job like Palawan1 did or is it better to find a single lady without a job. Obviously when the man goes to visit, he want to spend time with the lady but that can be difficult if she works, I know from experience when I met my first Filipino girlfriend, she worked in a Pharmacy and the pay was not great and she worked six days a week with very few paid holidays. She took a few days holiday but I spent a fair few days on my own while she was at work.

A few snips what Moon Dog said . . . .

You've never watched your lady sleeping? I do it to this day, but now she is much closer. Must be my romantic nature.

I especially liked watching her in the daytime doing her chores. She would wax the cement floor in her tiny bedroom (the only bedroom in the house) and polish it using half a coconut shell. Even flipping up her bed and waxing under it.

I belonged to a Yahoo, When the proper time length of engagement was discussed it was usually agreed that 18 to 24 months was the minimum duration. Fine, if that is what you belief go for it, I won't comment. But the clock is ticking and I'm not counting on an afterlife. If I made a mistake I'm the one to blame and I'm the one to pay for it. But what if you invest a couple years in the engagement and it doesn't work out?
*********************************************************************

No I never watch my wife sleep and especially over internet.

Considering you are probably one of the younger Expats your clock is not ticking that fast.

If you invest a couple years in the engagement and it doesn't work out, all the better for both of you. Better sorry now than later.

`

So CA, regarding my lady having a job? In our case my future wife,

being a government school teacher, was expected to pay for every

thing to do with her job. Eg, my wife paid to re-paint her class room.

Each teacher is responsible for cleaning and repair of the classrooms,

ruled paper, student stationary, art materials, spare textbooks, etc, etc.

She was also required to pay the salary of any emergency teachers who

were needed to conduct her classes, if she ever needed to be absent at

any time. So, I simply employed all of the emergency teachers available

the first weeks we spent together. Her teaching pals were very envious!

@PalawOne

Your a very lucky man. I don't think many other ladies over there though can get so much time off, paid time off.

@PalawOne
Your a very lucky man. I don't think many other ladies over there though can get so much time off, paid time off.
-@Cherryann01

`

Perhaps that's another reason to choose several possible romantic candidates

when you go to meet them and also if you can, all in the same general location?

After all, the first time you meet-up, you're just being friendly. No harm, no foul

in meeting several different ladies who you may well find also a possible match?

@PalawOne
Your a very lucky man. I don't think many other ladies over there though can get so much time off, paid time off.
-@Cherryann01
`
Perhaps that's another reason to choose several possible romantic candidates
when you go to meet them and also if you can, all in the same general location?

After all, the first time you meet-up, you're just being friendly. No harm, no foul
in meeting several different ladies who you may well find also a possible match?


-@PalawOne

Like I said before, maybe they have 3 or 4 men flying in at the same time to interview haha

`

Haha ..in that case, may the best man win?

And also in that case, maybe better, loose?

I wonder if anybody on this site went to the Philippines to attend one of the dating events. I have seen you tube videos about them in Cebu and they seem to be popular. Nice locations and plenty of lovely ladies to meet and chat to.

@Moon Dog

Thanks for your very kind words.

Not to get into many details , but yes she is a wonderful woman.  strong, intelligent, and thick skinned even though she was the baby girl of the family (had 3 older brothers),  certainly she was spoiled rotten for her first 25 years.  yet  proven to be strong and independant as any woman you could meet. she could be the embodiment of being a boss girl indefinitely. she's now head of account investigations of a well-known Bank in BGC.

I'll take a few minutes to reciprocate with sharing of my own story...

When I first came here to the Philippines, i had very little prospects for solid work opportunities (i talked about this in a past thread..), but a large wad of money i had stashed away from selling my condo back in Toronto that could afford us to live like a king & queen for months, about 2 suitcases of clothes and a balakbayan box of personal affects of mine from back home.

Many would say that jump, that risk to come here, took a lot of balls too.

I was desperate to make a name for myself and did a lot of hustling and grinding the moment i settled here in 2014. I was fortunate to land an intermediate executive position at onethe Philippines most reputable web development agencies and worked there for nearly 3 years while i silently worked on my private consultancy and ad-tech agency in the background.  a lot of years of blood, sweat and toil went into those endeavors...while at the same time adapting to the filipino culture, and finding my place into her family and their circles.   As most of you know, coming from abroad to settle here, that alone is very intimidating.

by the time things really started to form for me professionally with what i've worked towards, the quality of the relationship between my ex and i vastly deteriorated. after the passing of her father and of her cousin just months apart in 2018, and various other factors contributing on my end  (stress of work, not wanting to meet her desires to have a child yet) , it wasn't uncommon for us to be picking fights with one another on a regular basis.  we only lasted until the end of the year before we amicably decided to end it.  the rest, as they say, is History.

Anyway, i am deeply envious of any couple of this sort of International affairs that has survived, and lived happily  in the comfort of many many sunsets and sunrises together. Hopefully i can have a second shot at that myself someday !

For a video on this subject watch Sunshine Shoulders . STFU And Play The Game Overseas You've Already Been Played.

@kristopherryanwatson I was in a marriage for 17 years with an American woman who was a single mother when we met.  Through these years my ex earned her master's and doctoral degrees, and we supported her pre-teen daughter to become a happy professional.  In 2017, my ex asked to go separate lives.   At that time, I had two certainties in my life-- eventual death and that marriage.  I was 54 then and anticipated the next phase where I would live into old age with this person.  In the end, I don't blame her as we all have our reasons or motives only truly known to us.  I was bitter for 3 years knowing a life story just wiped away like a digital file.

I bring into this current relationship with my Filipina wife only two things: live simply and be happy each day.  This has worked extremely well, although I assumed some degree of risk (house, investment).    I am lucky (not to paint the entire population as eager to use or exploit others) to know someone who wants to commit to a relationship and that she and her family have a lot of integrity. 

Wish you the best and some luck,

Paul

@Cherryann01

The 400+ applicants was the number that sent me a contact invite. I forget what it was called, something like a wink or a wave? You could browse through the list and chat with whoever was online. Cherry Blossoms did a pretty good job of weeding out scammers in those days. Cherry Blossoms started as a pen pal type of service in 1974 which reminds me of the movie 'Filipina Dream Girls', an excellent movie. I have a copy on CD and have watched it several times.

Anyway, I made a profile and bought a one year subscription for $99. It was free for girls back then. I had chatted with a few girls and considered visiting at least 2 of them. One evening I was having a good time joking around with 2 or 3 girls when I got the first notice from Jovy, that was when her sister said "click on that guy". I said hello and asked for a photo. She sent me a photo of her on a bamboo bench in her father's cottage that really caught my attention. I said to myself "I think that's her!". I told the other girls I had to go and we established video contact. Most of the video chats up until now were in internet cafes but Jovy had an old computer of her own. She earned a little money at her sari sari store.

That's pretty much it, a few short weeks of chatting online and observing her actions (which I've been condemned for) and I flew over to meet her. I took a couple extra small bikinis so I could better inspect the goods. She lived on a Leyte beach but was too shy to wear a bikini when people were on the beach so we had to do that early one morning. Amazing things happened on my first visit and amazing things happened on my second visit, but that's another story.

The online dating sites get a bad rap but I don't know of any other way to meet girls on the other side of the planet. I'm certainly not going to walk the streets or frequent the bars in Angeles City in search of a mate. I have a friend in Houston that met 2 wonderful wives on Cherry Blossoms. The first wife died of cancer. She was a good friend of ours. He now has a new wife and she is making a lot of money selling new Mazdas. He is on the home page of Cherry Blossoms with each wife.

I wonder if anybody on this site went to the Philippines to attend one of the dating events. I have seen you tube videos about them in Cebu and they seem to be popular. Nice locations and plenty of lovely ladies to meet and chat to.
-@Cherryann01

I mentioned 'Filipina Dreamgirls (1991)' in my other post. A guy from the UK is running a dating service using a catalog of Filipinas. This is before computer dating. It is pen pal dating and if interested you pay the guy and he schedules a flight and hotel so you can meet the girl in person. The movie is about a group of guys going to meet their pen pals. When the plane landed the girls were there to meet the guys as they exited the plane. One guy from Wales was a very rough looking character with unkept hair and beard. When his girl saw him she turned and ran. There was a lot of talk about the movie on the Mag-anak forum but most copies were very poor quality but someone found a source of a better quality, but not great quality version on CD and I ordered a copy.

If anyone would like to watch the movie I see it is now on YouTube in 11 parts. I highly recommend watching this movie!

Moon Dog said . . . . I made a profile and bought a one year subscription for $99.

*******************************************************************

Many of these dating sites are borderline scams. Yes your subscription was $99 but was their any other incurred cost using the site?

(Borderline Scams is charging additional fees for additional services beyond the subscription price.)

@Enzyte Bob No extra charges, just a one time fee of $99 and females were free.

Back in 1992 I joined Pearls of the Orient, a pen pal club in which the girls got in free and I paid about $200.  It was run by a guy from Colorado who had a Filipina wife from Cebu.  Every two months I got a folder with a hundred postage stamp sized photos and two sentences about each woman plus their mailing address.  He emphasized writing to girls in Cebu because he had all kinds of investigators and tour guides available, avoiding those Manila passport hunters.  Two years later I flew to Ilocos Sur and married my number one pick.  There were some scammers involved, one girl called me collect from Leyte even though I did not give her my phone number.  I sent them all a Philippines airmail stamp, so she wrote back that she was insulted that I refused her collect call.  Ignored her and some others who insisted I write only to them or hop on the next plane to meet them.  Coming up on 28th wedding anniversary,  would advise the right woman can be found with some patience.

@mugteck Great story, you actually did meet up using only pen and paper. How was the visa process in those days?

There's a Dunkin' Donuts in Ormoc?

You need to watch the Filipina Dreamgirls movie. I'm sure it would bring back memories. The movie is on YouTube now in 11 parts. Here is the link to part 1 if it is allowed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWaBKxKgbfg

I live on the neighboring island of Biliran and I go to Ormoc to catch the Supercat or Oceanjet to Cebu. There is no overnight parking at the port so I have to travel by van. Is there any safe overnight parking you know of? I read that Ormoc is the lowest crime city in the Philippines.

@duonguhm

Thanks very much for the kind words.

Also, thanks for sharing your story too. that's an aspiring relationship.

As we all get older, its wonderful how just living simply can bring so much more happiness in many ways.

Visa process for a spousal visa took 12 months, an extra month because she sent her fingerprints to Hong Kong, waited 30 days, and then found out the fingerprints were smeared, had to send another set.  She had worked more than two years in Hong Kong, requiring the clearance.  Originally when I applied in the USA I got a letter saying they would start my visa process in 6 months, so once it started it only took 6 months.  Had to send copies of my income tax returns, a letter from my current employer, she had the burden of everything else in Manila.

@mugteck Is this visa situation fairly recent?  I submitted a K-1 visa (fiancee type) in July of 2021.  In March of 2022 they notified me that my file was transferred from Texas processing center to Vermont due to high volume in TX.  Last week I contacted immigration about its status.  Their reply was to wait until early 2024 to contact.  Bloody hell.

We planned a Baguio wedding for June 2022, but now are thinking of doing a civil wedding in Baguio. Then file a new spousal visa application.  Would you have enough knowledge to recommend this change or just to keep to K1 applcation?

Thanks, Paul